leave this sad place

Chapter 136 Reasons
But now, who would care about those?

The homeroom teacher was slightly stunned, but unconsciously heaved a sigh of relief, like a dark cloud covering the sun inadvertently slipping away again.

"Yes, you are even afraid of death, so what is there to be afraid of, what can't you bear?" The head teacher regained his composure and thought for a while.

Ouyang looked at the teacher in charge, his eyes flickered with sadness, but the tears on his face were still hanging wantonly.For some reason, he wanted to laugh, a deep, mournful laugh, but he didn't even know who the object of the ridicule was.

The head teacher frowned slightly, and now he didn't know what was going on in Ouyang's mind, and he didn't know what to say.Maybe we can only give Ouyang time to think for himself.

So he looked at Ouyang silently, feeling a little aggrieved and a little annoyed in his heart. A teacher was afraid of irritating a student, so he could only be silent and speechless.

Ouyang still looked at him, seeing the subtle changes in his expression, his heart was as clear as a mirror.But the sadness in Ouyang's heart became even thicker, as thick as fog that was about to turn into water droplets and drip down.

"Why do you want to die?" Ouyang asked himself in his heart again, his eyes became a little confused.He already knew the answer to such a question, but he couldn't control himself again, because the grief was too deep!
At that time, he felt that he was not controlling his body at all, and even his thoughts seemed to be confused by a kind of magic, while the rest of his soul was clearly watching what was about to happen, and instead of stopping it, he There is a sense of relief.At that time, he looked at the concrete floor under the window and felt that it was extremely intimate, as if it was his only final destination.He was well aware of the temptation at that time.

Wandering between life and death like this, his thoughts miraculously became clearer.Not only did he know exactly what he was going to do, but he also thought through the outcome very thoroughly.

"Is it death? Liberation?" He was reciting silently at that time, but he felt extremely bitter in his heart.Is the so-called death really as simple as falling asleep?Is it true that you will be liberated after you die?Wouldn't it be possible to pass from one sorrow into another as from one vortex into another?

"Can I die again?" At that time, he recited silently again, but the grief in his heart was even deeper. It was a kind of grief that could never be erased after death.Can he die?Could he die so selfishly?Can he really escape from grief desperately and choose to be relieved?Isn't he too selfish and cowardly like that?Such selfishness of abandoning everything, disregarding everything, and only thinking of himself alone; such a cowardice who would rather choose death than bear pain, how could he allow it to happen to himself?
And what about the aftermath?What about the consequences that will spread to others and hurt loved ones?Is it really possible to die?Is it true that no one suffers, no one sheds tears?If there is no such thing, then why should such a sad life end in a hurry, and no longer live a strange brilliance?If there is, how can you bear it, or let others cry blindly and heartbroken for you?Why do you want to hurt another person who really cares about and loves you even if you are dead?Such grief, how could such grief be cut off?It's not just from yourself, and then transferred to another person!

Can everything like this really be solved so easily by death?
Besides, what's the point of such a death?It's just a joke, something some people talk about after dinner!There may even be some infamy, such as "idiot", "idiot", "idiot", "unfilial son", etc., even death can't be at ease!It is not necessarily true that even some of the closest people in life will forget themselves in a few days.so sad!How can such a death be so possible?Such a meaningless death is like an ant accidentally trampled to death on the street, and what is the difference between a drop of water that is accidentally splashed and evaporated in the sea?

At that time, Ouyang's heart was even more painful. Who really knew the feeling that the pain was worse than death, but he couldn't die?

"Why do you want to die?" What he asked was not only the teacher and him, but also the beating heart, the beautiful world outside the window and some unknown existences in this world.

Why should you be so anxious about death, something that you don't need to rush for?

"Teacher, I - I've calmed down." Ouyang's voice became even hoarse, just like a legendary ghost crying.He wanted to twitch the corners of his mouth slightly to show a reassuring smile, but found that his cheeks were so stiff that he couldn't control them at all.Ouyang felt even more bitter because he couldn't even do such a simple movement.

"Oh, I figured it out." The teacher in charge said tentatively, pondering.Now he only knows that there is something wrong with Ouyang just now, but he doesn't know the reason at all, why Ouyang suddenly became like that.But everything seems to have passed.

"It's okay." He comforted himself subconsciously.I feel a little uncomfortable again in my heart, is it necessary for me to do this?Even if something happened, what does it have to do with me?

Ouyang nodded his head in thought. He didn't know if he had figured it out; he didn't know if his thoughts could be counted as having figured it out; and he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't have such a thought next time when he was grieving. Even control yourself.His heart became more complicated, and a trace of worry faintly arose.

Why did it become like this?Why was his heart still as heavy as iron, making him unable to breathe?How can he feel at ease if he doesn't find the answers to these questions?Maybe next time he really can't control it, what is in his heart is not the fear of death, but grief, the kind of grief that is as thick as the night.

The teacher in charge observed Ouyang carefully, saw him lower his head hesitantly, and realized that he hadn't really figured it out.Maybe I just figured it out a little bit, maybe I didn't even figure it out at all.But what does this have to do with me?

Ouyang's eyes became a little dazed again, and he came to the head teacher by himself, although he poured out the suppressed emotions that made him almost go crazy.But the most essential problem has not been solved at all. How can he not be allowed to think about such an inexplicable and serious problem?

The head teacher frowned slightly again, and his eyes became confused again when he saw Ouyang.A look of hesitation appeared on his face, he hesitated whether he should help Ouyang or not.

Ouyang thought hard, it seemed that something touched his heart at that moment just now, making that heavy heart even heavier.

"Could that be the reason?" He murmured in his heart, trying to find out what that point was, his eyes became even more confused.

"Even if he can't figure it out, it's just his business. Even if he's going to die again, that's his decision, as long as it doesn't involve me." The class teacher thought to himself, thinking of Ouyang's rude behavior just now. Look, that feeling of disgust came out of my heart again. "What does this have to do with me?" He snorted coldly in his heart.

"And even if I go to tell him, I don't know what to say. What if he bites me back? Isn't he meddling in his own business?" His expression relaxed slightly, thinking of those good people exposed in the society now There was no good report, and he became a little hesitant again.

"Oh, he is my student after all." He sighed softly, "Just remind him."

"Then what could it be?" Ouyang was still thinking, recalling everything that happened just now, including his own thoughts.Faintly, he felt as if he was about to know the answer.

"Well, Ouyang Ming. You can't do it like this. You'd better communicate with your family and your parents." The head teacher pushed such a difficult problem from the school to the family with a Tai Chi. "In this way, even if something happened, it's the reason why your family didn't solve it." He thought to himself.

"Parents?" Ouyang's head was roaring, and he seemed to have finally found the reason.

(End of this chapter)