leave this sad place

Chapter 137 Oppression
"Parents?" He muttered silently again, even his expression was a little shaken.Like a ray of light flashing in the dark night, it cut open the dark curtain like a sword, and the momentary brilliance makes the night like day forever!
"Parents? Family? Them?" Tears welled up from the corners of his eyes again, each drop full of crystal.At this moment, even his heart was trembling.

"He—they?" he read out, in a voice so low, hoarse, and choked up that he could barely make out what he was saying.Like a baby babbling or a dying old man whispering, his heart couldn't be more sad.

"Why is this so?" He cried out in his heart, crying with tears and blood.He closed his eyes, as if he was too painful to look at the world anymore.At this moment, he had clearly thought about all this in his heart.

"Yeah, you look like this, it's very dangerous, you'd better tell your family members. So as not to—" the head teacher suggested, seeing that Ouyang seemed to be different again, hesitantly wondering whether it should be go on.

Ouyang felt that his head was in a mess like a mess, but his heart was in unstoppable pain.But he finally figured out why his heart was so heavy, and why those inexplicable emotions exploded like this.

"They. It's not because of them!" His heart was roaring crazily, like a crazy sea beast churning a huge wave.When he came to this school, he avoided going back time and time again. Is it so simple because going back would bring trouble to his heart?go home?The word "family" could have cast a huge shadow on him, not to mention the great grief hidden behind that "home".

So he chose to forget, but how can some things be so easily forgotten?Even if I forget everything in the world, I still can't forget the unforgettable memory and the grief that goes deep into the soul.These deep sorrows seem to be engraved in another time and space in the soul, which cannot be erased, even scratched!And that revelation from time to time can cause the entire universe to collapse, and the entire spiritual world tends to be destroyed!
What else can I do?With tears and blood in his eyes, he sealed those memories little by little.Build a forbidden place in the deepest part of my heart, bury the memory there, and prevent myself from touching it or mentioning it again.So he will subconsciously avoid some things, and subconsciously choose some things.

But how can such a method really solve the problem?How can such a way, which is tantamount to drinking poison to quench thirst, escape the painful torture?Some things, some words, such as home, such as parents, such as father and mother, how can they completely avoid the past?Didn't Ouyang at that time just wipe away his tears and cry secretly when looking at these words, and didn't want people to find out?And the reality of having to go home after each semester, didn't it torture him time and time again, making him hesitate, make him struggle, and finally make him have to obey?Isn't such torture a kind of pain?And the mother's phone calls from time to time, again and again, this is not the light, the warm light that gave Ouyang in the darkness, but his pain, a deeply tormented pain.The seeming warmth is no longer suitable for him, because he chose to seal, a kind of helpless forgetting.

Every time I listen to my classmates talking about the joy of going home during the holidays, Ouyang only sees deep loneliness and sadness in his eyes, because he is a person without a home!Every time he sees someone else's child holding his parents with both hands, with an innocent smile on his face, he doesn't know whether he should be jealous or hate!Every time he listened to other people talking about parental love, he felt it was a kind of ridicule and sarcasm!Although these were unintentional mistakes that could not be considered faulty, they pierced through Ouyang's heart again and again, leaving a deep hole with gurgling blood.And he, Ouyang, can only bear it silently, without saying a word, and can't say a word!so sad!so lonely!And it seemed like a natural fault, who made the fault?
In order not to make himself sad again, he will subconsciously forget those things again and again, avoid them, and will not mention or think of them.It's as if those things don't exist at all, but this is a kind of deception, a self-deception that can't deceive one's own heart.

His heart, his gradually heavy heart, has always remembered and recorded it clearly.Recently, he frequently touched those dusty memories, frequently recalled those memories that he wanted to forget, and the phone calls from his mother from time to time, conveying the hidden pressure to him time and time again.

These, these sad emotions that burst out from time to time are captured and recorded by the heart again and again.

How could a heart that had already become very sensitive and fragile withstand such torture?It is not only getting heavier, but also getting more and more tired. It is so tired that it just wants to rest, a kind of rest that is completely relaxed and completely relieved.

All of these have caused a kind of spiritual storm in Ouyang now, a kind of spiritual collapse and destruction.

"Is that the reason?" Tears oozed from Ouyang's closed eye sockets.Such a ridiculous emotion, such a ridiculous emotion that he thought he didn't have, could hurt him so much, and hurt him so deeply!
"You'd better contact your parents. You look like this—" the head teacher frowned again.This Ouyang didn't listen to what he said.

"My...my...parents...they...they-divorced a long time ago!" Ouyang didn't know how to finish this sentence.Such a simple sentence seems to have mysterious magic power, making every word heavy and unspeakable.But his heart was still whining and trembling; tears were still rolling down.

At this moment, he felt as if he had returned to his childhood, looking at the gloomy sky, the gloomy mist, a kind of complete helplessness from body to soul.

The homeroom teacher was slightly stunned, but he didn't expect that Ouyang choked up for a long time and said such words.Looking at Ouyang also became a little complicated, with a hint of sympathy.

"Well, you'd better communicate more with your——family members." The head teacher sighed slightly, not knowing what to say.

Ouyang looked up at him, his eyes were red and swollen, and there were still a few tears on his face.But he didn't want to speak, because not only did he know that his voice was so hoarse that he could hardly hear the words clearly, but he also didn't know what to say at this moment.

The bell for class broke the silence, and it was still working meticulously at its post.

"If you don't want to go to this class, just take it easy - rest." The head teacher looked at the time and frowned slightly.

"I, I want to go for a walk on the playground." Ouyang took a deep breath, his hoarse voice was choked with sobs, his heart was still a little agitated, and he hadn't calmed down yet.

"Okay then, you can go to the playground for a while. I have something to do and I'll leave first." The head teacher glanced at Ouyang.

"Well." Ouyang nodded his head, suppressing some emotional fluctuations in his heart.The dim eyes became a little firm again.The only one who wants to truly save himself is himself!
The head teacher picked up some things on the seat and walked out of the office quickly without looking back.It was as if the things in it had nothing to do with me at all, and no matter what happened, they would never have any relationship with me at all.

Ouyang watched quietly, and then looked deeply, the deep gaze in his bright black eyes was like the entire starry sky reflected in a cold pool.

He tried his best to move the corners of his mouth, trying to show a stubborn and tenacious smile, but the muscles on his face remained stiff.He raised the corner of his mouth with all his strength, but that smile seemed to be crying.

He looked up and looked around, but he didn't find a teacher, and he was inexplicably relieved.

He looked ahead again, and walked outside step by step, step by step full of determination.

(End of this chapter)