leave this sad place

Chapter 167 Indifference
The cruel reality and increasingly conflicting emotions made it impossible for him to accept such care from her with peace of mind.But she only cared about giving him the best, but she didn't know that such an approach made Ouyang's heart sink again and again.

"If I fail the college entrance examination, then I don't have the face to meet her?" Ouyang asked himself in his heart again and again with such words, but it made him feel more heavy again and again.

And the fear of this kind of speculation is also deepening day by day, as if I feel that I am doomed to have such an accident during the college entrance examination, and I am doomed to fail.He really didn't want to think about those things anymore, but he couldn't control himself. Once such speculations occurred, he couldn't stop them at all.

He once again thought of escaping and letting himself not take the college entrance examination, but how could such an approach make him reconciled?After more than ten years of hard work, how can there really be no results like this?If she really did this, then she wouldn't be heartbroken to death by herself!

It seems that this is an unsolvable problem, and there is no other way but to bite the bullet and persevere.But such a result plunged Ouyang into a deeper torment, which sometimes made him want to deliberately violate the school rules and let the school take the initiative to expel him.It's not that I don't want to try this idea, it's just that I can't find an excuse to explain it to her.

And he still didn't let her know all of this, and he didn't dare or want her to know.And she still tried her best to take care of him.He still accepted all this in silence, but his heart seemed to be tormented in a raging fire, and he still couldn't let her know that the so-called beauty she gave him was his deep pain.

"I really want to refuse all of this. Why can't you give me a chance to refuse? Is it true that I have to create such an opportunity by myself?" Ouyang pulled his hair with his hands, feeling sad.Such a life made him both happy and uneasy.

The greatest consolation he can give himself is that he really just thinks too much.

But the reality is still cruel, and the number of times each exam can reach the first line is very small.The lofty ambitions I had when I first arrived at the school have been wiped out to the point of losing my fighting spirit!Looking at the test papers that were worse than the last one, his heart seemed to be bleeding, and his eyes were red, but he did not shed a tear.I kneaded the test paper into a ball several times, and then slowly opened it, but after all, I didn't tear it to pieces.But when he got home, he had to pretend to be very calm and said to her: "At school, everything is fine." God knows how much he wished for someone to comfort him at that time!But he had to bear the pain alone.

And after that cold, she seemed to have become even weaker.Being sick twice a day made him feel more worried. He was really afraid that she wouldn't be able to hold on anymore.How much I wanted to tell her to leave me alone, anyway, no matter how hard I tried, it was almost like that.But Ouyang couldn't say such words, for fear of irritating her.

Instead of living like this, it is even better to let yourself go out to work. Anyway, there are many people who have not gone to college, and they don’t believe that their future is really over?Ouyang could only hold back such words in his heart, although he really wanted to say it to her.But where can it work?
"Okay, keep silent. What else can there be besides silence?" Thinking about it, Ouyang's eyes became even redder. This is not life at all, it is suffering!This is torture!
In the past few days, Ouyang had to eat in the small restaurant outside the school, because she was hospitalized in the hospital in the city, and Ouyang's heart felt even more indescribably oppressive.

When I went back at night, looking at the empty surroundings, I simply turned off all the lights that I had just turned on.Looking at the pitch-black mass, Ouyang murmured to himself: "Isn't it good to be alone? Why do you have to suffer here?" Tears flowed down involuntarily as he spoke, He didn't wipe it either, and let the tears rush out like a dead embankment, no one would see them anyway.

"Look, you're fine now, and you're living alone in the hospital. I don't know who can take care of you?" Ouyang continued talking to himself, wanting to scold her, but swallowed it again.He wanted to take out his cell phone to call her, checked the time, and put the cell phone back.And tomorrow he has to go to school as usual.

In the third year of high school, put an end to all activities that have nothing to do with learning.There seems to be no end to the broken books and endless questions.Who has the time to care about the feelings of others?Even explaining a question to classmates feels like a waste of time, so I babble and pass by, for fear that others will understand the question and surpass myself in the exam, so I have to save it for myself.So indifferent!So selfish!In their eyes, Ouyang just changed from eating at home to eating out. This important discovery can only be seen by the very "active" classmates, and it's just seen, that's all!

The sadness in Ouyang's heart deepened. What is the purpose of this kind of study?Is it just to make everyone like this?This is the only way to meet the standard. Is it hard work for learning?Is the so-called college entrance examination really that important?Is it to make the students disregard everything and do nothing just to get a good grade in the college entrance examination?Is it just to get two or three ideal numbers printed by that cold machine?Have you ever thought about how many warm hearts have been annihilated by these two or three cold numbers?Is all this really worth it?Wanting to question again and again, he could only stare at the sky in a daze in vain. Seeing as if the whole sky had become cold, Ouyang closed his eyes in pain.

In such a place, he really really doesn't want to stay any longer, there is no trace of human affection or warmth to speak of!It seems that everyone has become a part in the factory, pieced together, and assembled into a mold by itself.Otherwise, it cannot leave the factory, otherwise it can only be treated as a waste product.

Yes gold always shines, these are just words of comfort.Because what shines is not necessarily gold, and the lifespan of a human cannot be compared with gold at all, so geniuses will be buried.Not only this natural reason, but also the human heart.

Counting the days, she should be back today.Ouyang thought silently in his heart, opened the door, and finally saw her figure.I thought I would be very excited, but I didn't expect that I just greeted him plainly: "You're back?" When did he become so cold, the cold feeling was not only felt by him, even she seemed to be aware of it.

"Well, are you still used to eating out these days?" She smiled slightly, and didn't care about his cold tone, nor did she ask why he didn't even make a phone call after being hospitalized for several days, and still cared about him. Did you have a good few days?

"There's nothing you're used to or not, as long as you can fill your stomach. It's not that you don't know me, and you don't care about those." The tone was still so flat, and even Ouyang suspected that his voice was not made by himself. It is mechanically synthesized.When did you become like this?When did you feel cold about it?
The sadness in my heart seemed to take root and I could no longer pour it out.

"That's good, go and wash your hands, I'll be done right away." She still didn't seem to hear the indifference in his words, she just turned around and stirred the vegetables, her hands trembling slightly seemed to have sensed something.

The silent dinner table seemed to have their own concerns, and she never asked him about trivial matters in life like before.Having a meal in a hurry, it seems that Ouyang is really just as he said, eating just to fill his stomach.

Less than 10 minutes after returning, Ouyang was going to school again.

(End of this chapter)