leave this sad place

Chapter 168 Don't Read

When she just walked out of the room, she heard her mobile phone ringing, her heart moved slightly, and her steps slowed down involuntarily.The voice on the phone was vaguely familiar. After listening to her address, I realized that it was just a call from a relative.

After closing the door, he faintly heard words such as "borrowing money". Ouyang's breathing subconsciously became a little short, and his expression became a little bit dim.A trace of bitterness lingered on the corner of his mouth, as if he vaguely understood something.

Returning to school a little depressed, looking at the test papers for yesterday's exam that were just handed out on the desk, it was as expected, as bad as ever.Clenching it tightly in his hand, his eye sockets turned reddish, and he tried hard to calm his breathing.Finally couldn't help it, and tore it in half with both hands.It seemed that the suppressed emotions in his heart were finally released. Ouyang couldn't control his emotions anymore, and tore the test paper to pieces again and again.

Looking at the shredded paper in his hand with some misery, watching it scattered from between his fingers, like snowflakes.It is said that snowflakes are tears from the sky, but what about these pieces of paper?Is it really just useless confetti garbage?Resisting the urge to shed tears, Ouyang's eyes became redder.

Perhaps the only advantage of the third year of high school is that others no longer pay so much attention to you. Even if you are really sad, you don’t have to worry about others laughing at you. Maybe others will think that you are crying for studying.

"Do I really want to continue like this?" Ouyang asked himself in his heart again, but it was not to encourage himself to study harder.He had said enough to himself in that way before, and he was tired.Now what he thinks of is that he doesn't read anymore, it's over like this, he doesn't want to torture himself like this anymore.

I bought a sack of books with a sack of money, and finally sold the sack of books, but I couldn't buy a sack back.Although this kind of language is a bit exaggerated, it can deeply describe the situation of the fees in the third year of high school.All kinds of make-up lessons, sometimes just to stay for a set of test questions; all kinds of review materials, no matter whether they are used or not, they must be bought. How can people really do it with limited energy? So many exercises!Sometimes after a semester, several materials are blank at all, which is pure waste; there are also various fees, which need to be paid every three days.

I don’t know who put forward such a slogan when the burden is reduced. The purpose may be for students to learn easily and happily.But what about the result?The so-called burden reduction basically means that the more you reduce, the more negative you become.How can the school see that you are really so leisurely?And in reality?The annual exam questions are there. If you want to reduce the burden, you should reduce your own. Others don’t. Those things you don’t know, others know.Under such pressure, which school and which parent would dare to really reduce your burden?The so-called burden is actually self-inflicted. If you don't want to bear it, who can impose it on your heart?

The burden on the heart, the cruelty in life.Ouyang had to think seriously again, if he really went on like this, even if he wasn't exhausted by his own heart, what about money?What about the essential material basis in life?And how much more could she offer?A year without financial resources, various living expenses at home, his own tuition fees, and medical expenses, he thought of his grandfather again, who is now often sick.There was a slight tremor in my heart, and I had to suppress my inner emotions and think carefully.

Can she really afford such a home?He had already guessed and answered such a question in his heart, but he just kept it deep in his heart.And today he had to dig them out cruelly, because the phone call at noon today made it impossible for him to escape.

Such a home is simply not enough to support him to the end!Ouyang's eyes dimmed again.And even if the college entrance examination is over, what about the university?There are still four years left in the university, so he has to continue to spend it.He felt like a parasite, a heavy burden at all.

And can her body continue to work like that?Can I bear to watch her go on like that, but I only know how to read, read, and study hard? !Ouyang's heart is even more painful. Now he is more than 18 years old, and he has been doing nothing for [-] years. It is time for him to come out and take on these things!Even if they are unable to afford these, at least they should not add any troubles to such a family.Because it is too fragile, all the burdens are on her shoulders that are no longer stable.

What if she suddenly fell ill?That——, the feeling of not studying in his heart became more urgent, as if that was the only correct way he should go.

"If I stop studying and go out to work, she won't be so tired. Find an easy job, and she can spend the rest of her life well. As for myself, isn't it just that I don't want to go to college? Could it be that I will Is it worse than those who have graduated from university? Anyway, I am talented, and the road ahead is still long, and I have plenty of time. Could it be that I can’t find a better way out? Can I starve myself to death?" Ouyang was planning for the worst in his heart, but it was another kind of comfort in disguise.

"After reading so many novels, I have decided to walk on such a road in the future. However, the school can't give me any useful help in that regard. Instead, it hinders me, making me sometimes want to write, but I can't find it at all. Without time, if this continues, even the best inspiration will be wasted. If I go out, I can write some novels that I have thought about in my spare time, and I can move forward towards that dream. Ten In a few, twenty years, maybe I can make it through and become a real novelist." Thinking about it, a light flashed in Ouyang's eyes, and a little confidence in his own writing slowly crept in his heart. Gathering, maybe it won't take that long at all!And the most important thing is: Even if it takes a lifetime, he is willing, and he will grit his teeth and persevere!

For a moment, it seems that all the good things are within your reach, as if all of a sudden it becomes clear, the road ahead is no longer confused, as long as I stop studying, as long as I go on firmly!Ouyang clenched his fist tightly, the urgency became stronger, and now his mind is full of thoughts of not wanting to study anymore.

"Maybe I really should do this!" Ouyang thought about it again carefully. The current learning system is not suitable for him at all, and he doesn't want to oppress himself to do things he doesn't like anymore. I feel bad too.And to fight in the bigger world outside, even if you fight hard, you will not regret it. Even if it is true, is it not a kind of training for yourself?Maybe it can also provide me with some inspiration to make my writing more natural and real.

Thinking about it, even he didn't realize that he started wishful thinking about the future, full of beautiful fantasies.Now he was even more eager to go back, and told her that he didn't want to read anymore.

A bell rang, pulling Ouyang back from his fantasy.Looking around, it was still lifeless, and they were all immersed in their own things—either reading a book or practicing exercises.Taking out a set of test questions, Ouyang looked at it for a while, but he didn't have the slightest intention to write, because he no longer wanted to read in his heart.

(End of this chapter)