leave this sad place

Chapter 40 Inexplicable Feelings

"Forget about her." He murmured softly, lay quietly on the bed, and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow will be another busy day, let yourself forget about her in the busyness.He read it silently in his heart.

When he woke up in the morning, he couldn't help but think of her again.So, he secretly warned himself: Don't think too much, just live this day well.When he passed by her dormitory downstairs, he couldn't help looking up again, a heavy curtain cut off his gaze, he sighed deeply again, and left.

When he came to the classroom, he opened the textbook, calmed himself down, and studied hard.But his heart became inexplicably disturbed. He turned his head and looked around, and saw that the students around him were all studying hard and earnestly. He felt a slight pressure in his heart. It turned out that the final exam was really coming soon. !

He looked behind him, and an inexplicable warmth rose in his heart, "Why is it so warm every time I see her and think of her?" There was a gentle smile on his face, looking at her Looking at Jie'er behind her, a trace of doubt flashed in her mind.But his eyes slowly became a little dim again, because he thought of her again, and boundless pain surged up in an instant.His face twitched slightly, and he felt heart-wrenching pain!
At this time, Jieer raised her head slowly, as if she felt something.He quickly buried his head and turned around.She looked at his back with some doubts, shook her head slightly, and continued to flip through the book in her hand.

Ouyang sighed softly in his heart.Turning his head, he looked at Li Ting next to him, and saw that he was holding the textbook with his left hand, writing and drawing on the draft pad next to him with his right hand, and still muttering words.Ouyang's mouth unconsciously showed a hint of a smile, but it slowly turned into a wry smile.Since that misunderstanding, the gap between each other has not been eliminated.Later, because of Yushu, he was deeply immersed in the world of two people, and he no longer cared about explaining anything to him, so now he is a bit of a stranger.Only in front of Jieer, it will be better, and I can say a word or two, but it's just some words that are neither salty nor bland.

Two people who were very close, because of a misunderstanding, became no longer so close.

Ouyang clearly understood all this, but it was caused by him unintentionally, and he felt a little sad and lonely in his heart.

"Review carefully." He persuaded himself again, don't let himself think so much.

"After this exam is over, everything will be over!" He comforted himself, trying to calm himself down and prepare for the final exam.

He stared at the textbook without blinking.

After a long time, he was finally able to calm down and read a book.

When reading the book carefully and doing the questions, time is easy to pass in people's perception.Ouyang felt a slight soreness in his neck, raised his head, and moved slightly.Looking at the time again, it was almost time for lunch. He actually read the book all morning like this, even he himself was a little surprised. He thought that he would not be able to calm down and study today.It seems that human potential cannot be underestimated.

When he walked out of the classroom, he couldn't help but glanced at the classroom of Class 3, but he didn't find her.He felt a little lost again.

Walking into the cafeteria slowly, and seeing several long queues, Ouyang felt a little powerless again.Reluctantly in the last row, slowly waiting.

However, from time to time he saw someone jumping in front of the queue.Some people have the cheek to squeeze out a place abruptly, not paying any attention to the furrowed brows and glaring eyes of the people around them.Ouyang sighed in his heart: If you really despise yourself, you are invincible!And some people stood and joined the queue while chatting with people they knew.Ouyang sighed slightly again: interpersonal relationships are really "tough"!

It was almost time for him to cook, and the person in front actually wanted to make three copies, and the aunt who was cooking rice also made three copies for him!Ouyang really wanted to say something: Could it be that only the people in front of you are hungry, and the people behind us are made of copper and iron, don't they feel hungry?A kind of sadness was born in my heart. If a school is like this, what about the society?

When he went to refill his meal, he saw a thin student scooping up a big bowl full of it, which made Ouyang's heart skip a beat.And I couldn't help wondering: Can he really eat that much?Or is it because there is no charge for rice, so don’t want it for nothing?
Ouyang looked at the student sitting under the banner that said "Who knows that every piece of Chinese food is hard work", tasted a few mouthfuls of food weakly, picked up a few chopsticks of rice, turned around - and left.Leaving a pile of dishes and meals on the table, facing the wall with such a banner, what an indescribable irony!
Ouyang felt a little queasy in his heart!But what can he do?Pull that person and question him loudly?Others will think you are crazy!
The sadness in Ouyang's heart deepened. What's wrong with the school, the holy place for learning?
I really don't have the appetite to eat anymore, but Ouyang has no habit of leftovers.Living in the countryside, he deeply understands the meaning of "every grain is hard work".

So, he sat there and slowly swallowed mouthfuls, eating, but with sadness in his heart!

"What's wrong with me? When did you start paying attention to these issues?" He couldn't help but wonder. "Isn't this kind of phenomenon often seen before, why do you feel it is particularly strange today?" He was puzzled and at a loss.

He walked out of the cafeteria, looked at the blue sky outside, and there was a wry smile on the corner of his mouth unconsciously.

"Look, look there"

"what?"

"blueprint."

"blueprint?"

"Yes, I want to construct a beautiful blueprint for our future."

He couldn't help thinking of the cheerful words she said to him pointing at the blue sky in his mind.

The blue sky is still there, but where is Yiren?He covered his chest with his right hand again, and squatted down.

"I really want the final exam to come sooner." He whispered, not wanting to look around again, these places have too many happy memories, but now they have become the source of pain!But he couldn't help it, and glanced to the side, because that was the girls' dormitory, and the curtains still cut off his gaze indifferently and mercilessly.

He sighed deeply and walked towards the classroom.

This afternoon, he tried his best to calm himself down and study, but he couldn't do it no matter what.

"Why?" he whispered, puzzled.

"Why?" He looked up again, looking up at the sky.

When he returned to the dormitory at night, he stood in front of the window and looked at the starry sky again, in a daze.

A poem by Chen Jingrong came to mind involuntarily.

So, he read softly with a voice like a sigh:

your window

open to the sun

open to the blue sky of april
Why is it covered with heavy curtains

Let the spring breeze slip by like smoke?
how will i find
those lonely footprints

at your quiet window

how will i find
My lost sigh?

let quiet night starry sky

bring you my nostalgia
Also bring you worry-free sleep

but me
like a stranger
silently walk by your window
lock your window in the desert

lock my sunshine
A heavy curtain blocks the gaze

leave the evening breeze as old

sobbing on the house

away, you take
who shines through my shadow
your beacon
i lost myself in
endless dusk

i have restless dreams

with the severe winter
and my window
open to the night

Open to the silent starry sky.

When he read the song "Window", he sighed deeply.

"Perhaps, it's time to buy a book of poetry." He whispered to himself, thinking of Haizi again involuntarily.

(End of this chapter)