I forget you in the depths of time

Chapter 197 Fortunately, it is not too late to love each other

I never thought that I would encounter such a surreal thing.

In my short twenty-odd years of life, the biggest change I encountered was Song Qingyue.

At first, I just sympathized with her and felt pity for her, as if I vaguely saw my own shadow in her. I thought badly, is this girl who has fallen into the dark abyss for a long time, and will be swallowed up in the future?
With a little expectation and a little curiosity, I didn't interfere in her affairs, but just paid attention to everything about her secretly.

As I expected, she is the kind of doormat who will not resist when she is beaten, but will only endure silently when she is scolded. This is the kind of person I hate the most in my life. She is good at hands and feet and has the ability to survive. Why is she willing to be beaten and humiliated?

The more I paid attention to her, the angrier I became. Unknowingly, she has slowly infiltrated into my life.

From the panic at the beginning, to the gradual acceptance and calmness later, I... have missed a lot, and I almost missed her.

After maintaining this marriage in name only for several years, I hardly dare to imagine whether she is doing well or not, and what will happen now.

Never cared about her deliberately, and would not inquire about everything about her.

until--

We met again in the hospital. When I saw her, I unconsciously followed her.

She is much better than what I imagined, she is eloquent and never backs down.

At that moment, I felt that she was very strange, and I suddenly felt a strange feeling of panic. I was afraid that the person I knew would gradually disappear, and I was afraid that I would not be able to continue to control her.

I want to prove that she hasn't changed again and again, but I don't know why I want to prove such a boring thing urgently.

Maybe... I'm afraid she won't like me anymore?

Maybe, I understand too late.

I can deal with work calmly, no matter how big the trouble is, I won't panic, but in the face of Song Qingyue's changes, I am helpless.

Seeing her cry, I suddenly blamed myself and felt guilty. My heart seemed to be tightly entwined by vines, constantly shrinking and squeezing, and it was difficult to catch my breath.

am I wrong?Ask yourself over and over again, am I wrong?
I don't know the answer, but the moment I saw her tears, I knew whether it was yes or no, I was willing to admit my mistake, I lost, and I was willing to admit defeat.

She wanted a divorce, but I refused.

I made up my mind to keep pestering her, even if she hates me.

When I realized something was wrong with my body, I went to the hospital and got the most unacceptable results from the doctor.

Lung cancer, and it's terminal.

If it was the past, I might accept it calmly and arrange the funeral rationally.

But now I can't accept it, am I afraid of death?
No, I still have people I can't let go of.

Several times, seeing her cold face, I wanted to tell the truth, and even wanted to use it despicably to make her sympathize with me.

But I didn't, I concealed this matter, and no one told me.

She is pregnant, I am very happy, but at the same time very disappointed, I know that my days are numbered, and I want to help her and the child plan for a better future while I am still alive.

A lot of things happened afterwards, and thinking about it now, I feel like a dream.

The day of the divorce should be the darkest day in my short life. I watched her leave with my own eyes, and I knew that the only relationship between me and her was completely broken.

After being entangled for so many years, I suddenly have to completely cut off, and I feel uncomfortable in my heart.

It is the path I choose, and I will continue to walk no matter how difficult or painful it is.

I let her go so that she would not see my ugly face when I was about to die.

The child was born prematurely and was weak. He had been staying in the hospital before. Later, I transferred him to the United States and gave him the best medical environment and treatment. I thought that after I died, there would be someone who could accompany her.

Seeing the child's body recover day by day, and I... can't hold it anymore.

I asked Wells how long I had left, and he said the shortest was a month or half a year, and the longest was a year.

Compared to when I first heard the bad news, I was much calmer, and I was able to face the result calmly.

I embarked on the journey back to my country without hesitation, and before I died, I was ready to make plans for my funeral.

Helping Ning Xiaoyuan was not my original intention. I originally wanted to touch the big fish behind her through her, but I had no choice but my body couldn't take it anymore.

Seeing that Qingyue is still the same, I am very anxious in my heart. If she doesn't grow up quickly and I leave, what will she do?
It's not without worry in my heart. I really want to get closer to her, and my reason tells me that even if she comes back to work in the company, I should keep a distance from her, but I can't.

I want to see her a few more times and keep her firmly in my mind.

Knowing that Jin Jingyu came to pick her up from get off work every day, I was very annoyed and powerless; knowing that he came into the house, I couldn't sit still, so stupid and naive, I followed him with the most inept excuses, and saw that there was no trace of other men in the apartment , I was a little relieved.

I'm not dead yet, don't want to be cuckolded, and dead, I don't want to either.

I am content to be back in a familiar spot, sleeping on the couch.

It's just that Shao Ming told me that the child's condition suddenly deteriorated and asked me to go back quickly. I left in a hurry without even saying hello.

Unexpectedly, this trip almost failed to make it back.

After staying with me in the hospital for almost a week, the child's vital signs stabilized. I endured it for too long, and my spirit was very tense.

Wells told me that my condition had deteriorated further and that it was about this time that I was going to die.

When I was lingering on the sick bed and confused, I always thought that even if I was going to die, I couldn't just leave like this. Holding my breath, I went back to the country without telling everyone, and went to see her for the last time.

Seeing her coming down from the apartment and walking towards me step by step, I was suddenly suffocated.

I really want to tell her that I am leaving, even if I leave, you should live a good life.

But I was afraid of seeing her tears, so I held back and gave her the gift I had prepared in advance.

Sending her back, watching her go upstairs, I know that this time I may really never see her again, I... have no future, no tomorrow.

I staggered away, and when I was at the airport, my cough became more and more severe, and the fishy-sweet smell in my mouth became stronger.

On the plane, I looked at the misty clouds outside the window, and my consciousness gradually became lax.

If I could do it all over again, I would definitely not let you down for so long.

I was so worried about her. When I was dying, I dragged Shao Ming and confessed one after another. No one knew how much I regretted. If I had known that the time with her would be so short, it would not be as long as her life. One-half, I will definitely not waste so much time stupidly.

I... I never had time to tell her that I love her, love her so much.

When I came back to my senses, she had already invaded my life and merged into my flesh and blood.

Facing the imminent death, I developed fear and cried for the first time in front of people. I pulled Shao Ming's clothes and sobbed regretfully, "I have no chance..."

Going to a world without her, I am confused, panicked, restless and at a loss.

When I became conscious again, I saw the longing man crying in the arms of other men.

Furious, I wanted to step forward and pull her out, but my hand passed through her, and I was taken aback.

Tried several times, I...couldn't touch her.

Standing in front of her, she didn't seem to see me, and I told her not to cry, but she couldn't hear me either.

Yes, I am dead.

Ah……

I smiled wryly, what is this?I'm dead but I can still see her, but she can't see me, am I...a ghost?

Living in this age of advanced technology, I refuse to believe that there is such a surreal thing, and I can't believe it. Over time, I accepted this fact.

I'm dead, um, I'm just a wisp of soul now.

I have been with her for several years, I have seen her cry sadly, and I have also seen her secretly wipe away her tears and work hard.

I thought I was dead, she would feel so happy, finally out of my bastard's control.

But she didn't, she was tougher than I imagined, maybe Song Qingyue loved me far more than I realized, and I loved her far less deeply than she loved me.

Look, you bastard, what a wonderful woman you have missed. You spoiled her and didn't cherish her.

Me and her, we can't go back.

It's not that there are excellent men around her, and the one who bears the brunt is Jin Jingyu. Every time I see him proposing and showing love, I can't help but want to teach him a lesson and secretly sabotage the marriage proposal ceremony he arranged.

She is mine, even if I die, I don't want her to be contaminated by other men's breath.

Even if my woman dies, she can only have my name engraved on her.

Several times, she seemed to see me. I was very excited and wanted to talk to her. When I heard her say, "I miss him so much that I have hallucinations?" Bite her hard.

It's not an illusion, it's me, it's really me, I'm here!always there.

The only time I touched her and appeared in front of her was because she wanted to commit suicide and her consciousness was lax and weak. I took this opportunity to appear in her dream and told her, let her live well, and I will always be with her.

She is very strong, took good care of the child, and supported Shen's burden.

I know she is very tired, and I am also very distressed.

It broke my heart to see her panicked after losing the necklace I gave her and looking for it everywhere.

Watching her being pushed into the lake, I had no choice but to pull her. When I was anxious, I didn't know how to bring her up, but I couldn't continue to follow her, and my soul returned to the finger.

When I woke up, I saw Qiao Chen.

He could see me and told me that I should not continue to miss the world, it doesn't belong to me, staying here will only affect Song Qingyue.

I refused to leave, so Qiao Chen detained me.

Until she had an accident, I made a deal with Qiao Chen, he helped me this time, and I promised him to leave.

But actually, I didn't leave.

Qiao Chen let me go at the end, he said, "Forget it, I owe you all, and I will eventually have to pay it back."

In fact, I have always pinned it on my fingers, watching her grow old and haggard day by day.

When she grows old, I will still wait for her in place.

That day, I watched her get up and go to my grave. She talked to me a lot, and I really wanted to hug her and tell her that I was always there.

She seemed to see me, with a smile on her face, she said, "I'm a little sleepy, wake me up when it's dawn, okay?"

I said, "OK."

She closed her eyes contentedly, fell into a deep sleep, and never woke up from this sleep.

I called her, but I couldn't wake her up. I knew she was gone.

I saw above the mourning hall, my son had tears in his eyes, and saw Jin Jingyu, who had taken care of her all his life, guarding the coffin for her in despair.

Couldn't bear to look any further, so I left.

I can't find her, there is no Song Qingyue in this world anymore.

Following Zhiyuan back to China, I went to find Qiao Chen again.

He hasn't changed at all, and his appearance hasn't aged at all.

I was surprised, but he said, "Are you surprised? I've lived so long that I can't remember what I've been through."

be surprised?It was there at the beginning, but I think that I am still a wisp of scattered soul, why should I be surprised?
I said to Qiao Chen, "Qiao Chen, I want to find her."

Qiao Chen just stared at me. After a long time, he said indifferently, "Not everyone will become like you. The chance of this is very small. She should have stepped into reincarnation by now."

"I want to go with her."

There is no one in this world who is worthy of my nostalgia anymore, I want to leave, I want to find her, maybe in time, I can meet her in the next life.

"Are you sure? Maybe you won't see her in your next life."

"I'm sure, I know I'll be able to find her." I glanced at Qiao Chen and said, "Rather than being alone forever like you, I'd rather fight hard, maybe I can even win a few short moments with her." ten years."

Qiao Chen finally helped me, and I left this world, following in her footsteps.

This time, let me look for her and protect her.

I was surprised to find that Qiao Chen didn't help me erase my memory, I have been waiting carefully, waiting for her to appear.

Freshmen start school, and I already know in advance that she will come here to attend college.

Watching from a distance, looking at the young and lively her, she is approaching me step by step.

I knew the person I was waiting for was here.

This time, I won't let her go, and I won't let her down again.

(End of this chapter)