There are ways to speak and speak skills

Chapter 2 Talking to Leaders → Modesty Strategies (1)
The last articleSpeaking skills
——Different speakers adopt different psychological strategies

Modesty is like a magical garment, whoever wears it will become more beautiful.

Modesty is not hypocrisy, and outlier is not lofty.A person with a humble attitude, especially when facing his own leader, will surely gain more.

Make use of the problem to smooth things over
Usually people hope that the leader can help the subordinates out of the siege, which is almost human.In fact, for leaders and subordinates, support at work is mutual and equal. Leaders who are at the focus of work conflicts also expect their subordinates to help them out at critical times. This is just the psychological need of leaders. Due to various reasons, it is inconvenient to expose easily.

As a subordinate, if you can be good at helping your superiors, you will not only gain more appreciation and trust from your leaders, but also improve your ability to work.

The great eunuch Li Lianying was clever and articulate, and good at pleasing Cixi. This kind of cleverness often helped Cixi and his subordinates get out of trouble.

Empress Dowager Cixi loved to watch Beijing operas, and often rewarded artists with small favors.Once, after watching the play of the famous actor Yang Xiaolou, she called him to her eyes, pointed to the pastries on the table and said, "I give these to you, take them back!"

Yang Xiaolou kowtowed to thank him, he didn't want pastries, so he said boldly, "Thank you Lafayette, slaves dare not take these noble things, please... give me another gift..."

"What do you want?" Cixi was in a happy mood, but did not get angry.

Yang Xiaolou kowtowed again and said, "Lafayette is so blessed, I wonder if I can bestow a 'word' on this slave."

When Cixi heard this, she was happy for a while, so she asked the eunuch to bring a pen, ink, paper and inkstone.With a flick of her pen, Cixi wrote the word "Fu".

The little prince standing aside looked at the words written by Cixi and said quietly: "The word "Fu" is next to the word "show", not next to the word "clothes"!" If you go back, you will be discussed by others. Isn't it a crime of deceiving the emperor?No, no, no, he broke out in a cold sweat in a moment of anxiety.

The atmosphere suddenly became tense, and the Empress Dowager Cixi also felt quite embarrassed. She didn't want Yang Xiaolou to take the typo, but she was also embarrassed to come over again.

Li Lianying next to her had a thought, and said with a smile: "The blessing of Lafayette is a little more than that of anyone in the world!" When Yang Xiaolou heard this, his mind turned around, and he quickly kowtowed: "The blessing of Lafayette How dare a servant accept this blessing that is above ten thousand people!" Cixi was worried about not being able to step down, and when she heard this, she hurriedly pushed the boat along and said with a smile, "Okay, I will give it to you the next day." In this way, Li Lianying got rid of the predicament for the two of them.

Psychological tips:

Li Lianying's contingency is to make use of the problem, and make mistakes when she makes mistakes.In the face of the leader, it is inexperienced to straighten out or deny the mistakes bluntly, and it is wise to use the strength to say "round" the mistakes.

The same is true for every leader. Due to their own position, they will not easily review their wrong words and deeds positively. This is their common psychological emotion. As subordinates, we should ask Li Lianying In that way, it is the best policy to actively and decisively and intelligently respond to what is happening.

Workplace survival is flattering
No one is perfect, bosses and bosses may make mistakes sometimes, and the mistakes need to be pointed out by subordinates.But at the same time, bosses and bosses need to maintain a certain dignity in order to govern their subordinates, and they should not be commented on casually.As a subordinate, you must learn how to survive in the cracks.

Kaiser Wilhelm II sent someone to hand over the design of a warship to an authority in the shipbuilding industry, asking him to evaluate it.He told the other party in the attached letter that this is the result of his research after spending many years and a lot of energy, and he hopes to carefully identify it.

A few weeks later, Wilhelm II received reports from authorities.The report is accompanied by a stack of detailed analysis derived from numerical inferences. The specific content is as follows:
"Your Majesty, I am very pleased to see a wonderful warship design, and it is a great honor to evaluate it. It can be seen that this warship is magnificent and powerful, and it can be said to be a unique naval force in the world. .Its super high speed is unprecedented. And the weaponry can be said to be invincible in the world. It is equipped with the cannon with the longest range and the best mast in the world. As for the various facilities in the ship, the officers and soldiers of the whole ship will feel like living in a luxury hotel .This unparalleled super warship has only one drawback, and that is that if it hits the water, it will immediately sink to the bottom like a leaden duck."

William II, who was already very humorous, couldn't help but smile knowingly when he saw this report.

Psychological tips:

The authority in the shipbuilding industry in this story knows the philosophy between telling lies and telling the truth. If he draws the conclusion: Your Majesty does not know how to build ships.I'm afraid that in the near future, there may be something like "the king wants the minister to die, and the minister has to die".If he flattered the Kaiser blindly and dared not tell the truth, he would be lying about the military situation.If the ship is really built, he will probably have to bear the responsibility.So he could only flatter and tell the emperor the truth.

Flattering can make your superiors and bosses happy and win their attention.This is very good for yourself.The boss likes to hear people praise him, likes to see someone play the role of "jester" in front of him to amuse him, and will also prepare some form of certain amount of rewards for those who perform well, or at least not offend he.It can be seen that flattering must also pay attention to certain methods and methods according to the psychology of the boss and the boss. Only in this way can good results be achieved.

Persuading the boss to do more inspiration
When persuading others, the eloquent reasoning is usually annoying, and it is even more difficult to accept strong words or bitterness. Good medicine is not necessarily good for the disease. To grasp the other party's state of mind at the time.

During the Warring States period, Qin State attacked Zhao State, and Zhao State asked Qi State for help.Qi State asked Zhao State to send the Empress Dowager's youngest son Chang'an Jun as a hostage before he was willing to send troops.But Empress Dowager Zhao insisted on refusing to do so. Although the civil and military forces of the Manchu Dynasty tried their best to persuade them, it was still useless.In the end, Queen Mother Zhao simply announced: "If anyone comes to persuade me again, I will spit in his face."

Later, Master Zuo asked to see him, and the queen mother knew that he was also here to persuade her, so she waited for him with an angry face.Touch walked slowly in front of the queen mother, pleaded guilty and said: "I have a problem with my feet and can't walk fast, so I haven't seen the queen mother for a long time, but I am thinking about it, so I come to visit now." Seeing this, the queen mother said that she had to go now Walk by car.Chu then asked about the Queen Mother's food intake and other matters, and this commonplace conversation made the Queen Mother's anger disappear completely.

Afterwards, Chu begged the queen mother to allow his youngest son to serve as a guard in the palace guard.The Queen Mother agreed and asked how old Chu's son was.Touch answer: 15 years old, and said to arrange a place for his son before he died.Seeing this, the queen mother asked the man if he also loved children.Touch said: Compared with women, it is even worse.At this moment, Chuo asked the Empress Dowager if she loved Empress Yan (the daughter of Empress Zhao) more than Lord Chang'an.The queen mother replied: "It's not as good as Lord Chang'an."Therefore, Chu emphasized that parents should love their children for the sake of their future, and gave an example that the Queen Mother Zhao herself parted from the Queen Yan, and it was hard to part with each other. In the country of Yan, don't come back, so that your children will be kings of Yan from generation to generation.After speaking these words, he asked the Queen Mother: Isn't it just for the long-term consideration of Queen Yan that you do this?The Queen Mother nodded yes.

At this time, Chu changed the subject and asked the Queen Mother: "Before the third generation, since the senior officials in Zhao's country were promoted to princes, if the descendants of every generation of kings were enshrined as princes, are there any later generations?"The Queen Mother shook her head.Chu asked again: "It's not just the case of Zhao, but do other descendants who are entrusted with the title still exist?"The Queen Mother shook her head again.From this, he commented: This is because they have a high status but no meritorious service, and they are well paid but have no meritorious service.Now you give Lord Chang'an a dignified status and rich soil, but you don't give him the opportunity to make contributions to the country, so if the queen mother is not shy, how can Lord Chang'an make the Zhao country stand on its own?Therefore, the old minister thinks that you love Chang'an Lord but you have not considered his long-term considerations, and love Chang'an Lord is not as deep as loving Queen Yan.

At this point, the Queen Mother fully accepted Chu's criticism and persuasion, and replied: "Well, it's up to you." Afterwards, 100 vehicles were prepared for Chang'an Lord to use Qi, and Qi State immediately sent troops to rescue Zhao, thus retreating from Qin State. military.

Psychological tips:

In this case, because he deeply understood the empress dowager Zhao's eagerness to love her son, he started from talking about family affairs, asking the empress dowager to arrange her youngest son as a guard in the palace, and then commenting on the empress dowager's love for empress Yan and Chang'an Jun. The difference, in the end, I suggested that if you love Chang'an Jun, you should give him a chance to serve the country, but never discussed the stakes of sending Chang'an Jun to Qi as a hostage and retreating from the Qin army, but from another angle that can resonate with the Queen Mother Zhao Doing more enlightenment and guidance for him not only complied with the Queen Mother's wishes, but also made the Queen Mother accept her advice.

When your immediate superior encounters a major event and makes a wrong decision, at this time, as a subordinate, he is often eager to persuade the superior to take back his order, but the more stubborn the superior is at this time.Therefore, when we want to persuade the boss, we'd better enlighten the boss from the psychological point of view of the boss's consideration of the problem, instead of explicitly expressing it, so that when the boss realizes his mistake, he will accept your advice without losing dignity. Suggestions, so as to achieve twice the result with half the effort.

just right to learn to cater to
At work, you must learn to take advantage of the short-term contact with your boss, and work hard to adapt and cater to your boss's psychological needs.In different work and life situations, you must always pay attention to whether your words and deeds will make your boss feel unhappy.

A well-known entrepreneur abroad, when talking about his work experience, pointed out that the secret of his success is to change his attitude of keeping his boss at a respectful distance.

This entrepreneur, when he first joined the company, also adopted an attitude of keeping his boss at arm's length.But once, his friend asked him: "How do you feel when you meet your immediate boss or top leader?" He replied: "Now, I am not in a hurry to meet with them."

"Your thinking is wrong." His friend then enlightened him, "It's not just a meeting with the immediate boss, even a conversation with the top leader is not a shameful thing. If you want to improve performance, you must Seize every opportunity to talk to your boss, even for 5 minutes. It is very important to let him understand your thoughts on the one hand, and at the same time clarify the boss's views on things. If a working person cannot If he faces his boss with a positive attitude and leaves a good impression on him, he will not be able to achieve great things.” After hearing this, the entrepreneur suddenly realized, and gradually freed himself from the attitude of keeping his boss at arm’s length.

Psychological tips:

The entrepreneur in this case was wise to change his attitude.As a subordinate, don't always hide from your boss all day long, but actively cater to your boss psychologically.Get in touch with your boss more, and make your boss like you and accommodate you in the contact.

Moreover, while adapting and catering to their psychological needs, we must pay great attention to wording and tone.When doing this, try to figure out the psychology of the boss, properly consider the meaning of the boss, cater to it in a clever way, and finally let the boss feel that this is an idea based on his own ideas.This is very beneficial for the development of work and communication and good relationship between you and your boss.

Take the initiative to report and grasp the key points
Leaders hope that their subordinates will get closer to themselves, ask for instructions and report more on everything, but when subordinates report to their superiors, they must know what to say and what not to say.Don't show off your achievements too much, and be careful when making criticisms and suggestions.

In ancient times, memorials were the most important thing for courtiers, and they had to be treated with caution and put in a lot of effort.Zeng Guofan knew this very well.

Zeng Guofan's articles are sublime, so the memorials are beyond the reach of others.According to research, his manuscripts are also divided into different periods, with significant changes.The general characteristics are: bright and concise, dignified and steady; but the early drafts appear straightforward, passionate, and stubborn; the latter, that is, after re-emerging in 1858, are characterized by hidden needles, meticulous and mature, plain and solid. 1858 was the year when his official career changed most obviously. After the turmoil, he gradually became more cautious, which was fully shown in his memorials.

It was a privilege to be able to report to the emperor at that time, which showed that this person had gained the emperor's attention.How to make good use of such an opportunity requires working hard on the memorial.Zeng Guofan frequently taught his subordinates to be cautious when writing memorials.In the first month of the first year of Tongzhi (1862), Zeng Guofan read Hong Liangji's "Shangcheng Prince Letter", and this person was exiled to Xinjiang because of this memorial.After reading it, Zeng Guofan said that in fact, there is nothing taboo about it. If so, even if he suffered such a disaster, it can be seen that he must not be careless in the memorial.

In November of the fifth year of Tongzhi (1866), Bao Chao was allowed to directly report to the imperial court.Zeng Guofan used his own lessons as an example and warned him to proceed with caution.He said in the letter: "Although you can speak up, you must be very careful not to say a word. If you speak arbitrarily and falsely, if you say something wrong, not only will the emperor not allow you to speak again in the future, but you will also be ordered punish you."

In May of the following year, Zeng Guofan taught Zeng Guoquan a lesson.As soon as Zeng Guoquan obtained the right to play a single title, he impeached the officials of the Manchurians and stabbed the hornet's nest, so Zeng Guofan repeatedly warned him not to be careless in writing memorials.He said: "Some of my colleagues are very powerful, but they are still cautious when writing memorials, and they dare not speak a little bit of nonsense. They don't ask for any reward from the emperor when they write memorials, they just want to protect themselves. "

(End of this chapter)