Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 19 There is a kind of happiness called waiting (1)
A woman's true happiness cannot depend on a home,

A man with a wedding paper in his heart.

To bring it into the heart means to feel the blessing of peace and joy from the heart,
Rather than the surface vanity of the well-known momentary brilliance.

Fame, status, material and wealth can all bring happiness,

But peace of mind and satisfaction are not guaranteed.

——Plain black

1. If you are in full bloom, the breeze will come

At the beginning of love, it will turn the end of the world into a distance; when it ends, it will turn the distance into a world.I used to think that love is the whole of life; but one day I found that it was just the part of my wasted most time.

I don't know when it started, "women are not ruthless, and their status is unstable" has become a popular trend nowadays. Once it blows, I don't know how many women's dreams have been awakened: the original gentle lady has become "yesterday's yellow flower", brutal and domineering The female man is the right way today.As a result, many women took up the banner of "being a woman must be more ruthless", and began to challenge the traditional thinking of a good wife and mother.

In fact, these women's understanding of this sentence is a bit too extreme. The so-called "women are not ruthless, and their status is unstable" is not to make women become "halfs", but to let women understand that the so-called "ruthless" means The most important thing is a wise mind, independent personality, quick thinking and clear goals. Women with these are truly attractive and powerful women, whether it is beautiful love and eternal friendship, or superior work and happiness. Marriage will come at their fingertips.And those women who want to achieve success and happiness only relying on their good looks, sexy bodies and prime youth are likely to lose, or even lose miserably.

Therefore, although the idea of ​​a good wife and loving mother is traditional, as a woman, it cannot be discarded.It’s just that you can optimize this kind of thinking, stay away from having no independent opinions, stay away from being submissive, stay away from listening to what you say, stay away from compromise, have more autonomy, and be more scheming, and it will be easy to reap a happy marriage.So, it's not that you can't be gentle, it's not that you can't be coquettish, and it's not that you can't be weak. As long as you understand the proportions and the skills of using these "means", then you will be able to have wind and rain in marriage.

First of all, you have to know how to create romance and make your home a happy haven.There is no woman who doesn't like romance, and men like romantic women even more, because women who understand romance are emotional women who can control life.But some women may disagree with this point of view. In their view, romance is a sentiment that is only needed when you are in love.But after getting married, the sweetness that was not seen every day has gradually faded away. The once vigorous vows of eternal love have gradually turned into mortgages to buy houses and children to go to nursery. Women have to take care of their families and work. Time for romance?

Sanmao is undoubtedly a very romantic person, and her legendary life has already done the best proof for this.However, when faced with love and marriage, she said this sentence: "If love is not implemented in the real life of eating, dressing, and sleeping, it will not last forever." There is no time limit, and it is not necessary to have the atmosphere of the flowers before the moon and the moon, and there is no need for the embellishment of music and candlelight and gorgeous decorations. In the ordinary marriage life, as long as you create it with your heart, a small flower, a sentence Gentle and soft words, a tolerant and considerate look in the eyes will bring wonderful warmth and romance.

Therefore, even if you have entered into marriage, even if the life of family and work has made you a little tired, I hope you will not lose the charm and charm of the past, but should learn to constantly enrich yourself in a dull and boring life, Improve your interests and hobbies: Do some beauty treatment appropriately, occasionally buy a sexy underwear, cultivate an independent and confident personality, and be good at creating a warm family atmosphere...Women who know romance can find and create a romantic relationship anytime, anywhere in life. Surprise and romance, let your lover and yourself feel the beauty of life together.

Maybe you are not beautiful or smart, but if you know how to be romantic, you are a woman full of aura.Facing a woman who can give him a surprise, a style, and a feeling in ordinary life, a man will definitely not put it down.

Second, you have to learn to act like a baby.Men like women who can act like a baby, because women who can act like a baby are women who know how to live. They all understand the truth that if you want to make this ordinary dish of life taste good, you must add it appropriately. Add some condiments to make it exude an attractive fragrance, and acting like a baby is one of the condiments.Someone once told a man such a truth: as long as you know how to praise a woman's old clothes, she will not clamor to buy new clothes; as long as you kiss a woman's eyes, she will turn a blind eye to your various shortcomings; Touch a woman's lips, and she'll stop nagging.Conversely, as a woman, you must also understand the same truth: as long as you know how to praise a man's talents, he will work harder to make money for you; as long as you hug him coquettishly, he will not be angry; His mouth, he will not utter evil words.So, specifically, how to become a master of acting like a baby and firmly grasp a man's heart?The following will teach you a few tricks.

Learn to use tears.A woman's tears are one of the most powerful weapons to impress a man. When telling her about your grievance and pain, shedding a few tears appropriately will make him understand and tolerate you better.Of course, the tears are fine but not many. If it keeps flowing every day like continuous rain, it might turn into a flood and wash away the man.Learn to show weakness.In front of men, if a woman always looks shrewd and capable, it will make him feel too tired to get along with you, because all his tricks can't escape your "golden eyes".Especially when a woman behaves more capable than a man, it will give the man an invisible sense of oppression. This combination of strong women and weak men has many danger signs for marriage.Therefore, you must properly learn to show weakness and show some of your childishness, so that men can have the opportunity to show their bravery and demeanor and establish their manly image.Of course, showing weakness is just a means, not to make you grovel, nor to turn you into an "idiot". It is very important to grasp the proportion.Let "a beautiful meal" become a "shameful meal".There is no man who doesn't like a woman's shy look. Xu Zhimo once described a woman's shy look in this way in a poem-"The most is the gentleness of bowing her head, like a water lotus flower that can't bear the cool breeze".Shyness is the most charming kind of feminine beauty, which can greatly increase a woman's charm.Of course, you can properly show your shyness, but remember not to become an untouchable "mimosa", otherwise most men will shy away.Xu Zhimo also has a classic verse: "Don't pinch me, it hurts." These four simple words express the most classic way of acting like a baby for women - coquettishness.Everyone in the world reads "greed, obsession, hatred". Don't think it's too nasty. If you can't do it, it means you don't understand love.However, not all women are suitable for this trick. It is only suitable for women with childish and captivating baby voices. If you are born with a rough voice, it is best to advise you to use it with caution.

In marriage, men are destined to bear more responsibilities and pressures than women, so they need women's care and warmth more. If women don't understand men's tiredness, they will only be arrogant and even unreasonable, which will make men feel that family They are no longer warm, and their wives are no longer charming. When they are serious, they may choose to escape and look for a woman who can give them warmth and consideration.Therefore, for the happiness of marriage, you must be a coquettish woman who can make men feel warm and considerate.

Finally, if you want to hold a man firmly in the palm of your hand, you must learn to cook a few special dishes, as the saying goes, "If you want to keep him, keep his stomach first."For men, the family is often a delicious meal after get off work, so as a wife, you have to study the recipes carefully.Of course, you are not required to make a "Manchu Banquet", but you should master some home-cooked side dishes, especially those that your husband likes to eat.Maybe what you cook is not so perfect, and it also lacks the taste of what he imagined his mother made, but he will still eat it with joy and express his gratitude to you, because he knows that it is full of you. his love.

So, if you are a woman who knows true love, even if you have never been in the kitchen when you are not married, you should learn to cook a few special dishes for your lover after marriage, so that he can feel your love for him.Confucius said a long time ago: "Eating and drinking, men and women, people's great desires exist!" In life, music, chess, calligraphy, painting, swords and hops are certainly important, but in the final analysis, firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea are indispensable.No matter how strong a person is, he still has to wear clothes and eat, so if he wants to win over his heart and do what he likes, cooking a few of his favorite dishes is undoubtedly the best and fastest way.This is not to promote machismo, but to tell you that a woman who knows how to cook is a woman who really understands life. If a husband returns home every day and faces a wife who "opens his mouth", over time, I am afraid he will Think of going home as a burden.

Be a flirtatious woman, you can go to the hall, you can go to the kitchen, learn to wrap your fingers around Bailian steel, then the man will be your "captive" for the rest of his life like a grandson monkey who can't escape the palm of the Buddha.

2. Compassionate because of understanding

You can sing alone, drink coffee alone, graffiti alone, travel alone, walk in the street alone, walk in the rain alone, listen to music alone, talk to yourself alone, be in a daze alone, dance alone, One person watches TV, one person flips through magazines... only love, which cannot be achieved by oneself.

Before marriage, a woman is a man's "confidante". After marriage, a woman becomes a "yellow-faced wife". Is it because the man is ungrateful or the woman is not smart enough?Have you ever thought about continuing to be his "confidante" after marriage?In fact, this is not difficult, as long as you think about it, you can do it.

When the word "confidante woman" is mentioned, people will think of many wonderful words: understanding, gentle and considerate, elegant temperament, independent... However, these words are given to a woman other than a man's wife of.Therefore, when men mention their confidante, they always look happy; but when women see these words, they will be furious.It is understandable that the views and ideas will not be the same if the positions are different.

However, women seem to be unaware of such a problem. Since men are so obsessed with confidante, why not turn themselves into confidante of husband? Everyone knows that "confidante" refers to a woman, and the so-called confidant is a friend who is connected with each other. From this point of view, as a wife, you have the best chance to become his "confidant". Firstly, you are a woman, and secondly, You have the closest relationship, and of course he is also his friend who has the same heart. Therefore, it is not difficult to become your husband's confidante, it depends on whether you put your heart into it.

On Sunday afternoon, Xiu'er, who was preparing to cook, received a call from her.Xiu'er is her best friend, and she broke down in tears on the phone, saying that her husband, Ah Ren, is having an affair and wants to divorce her.Xiu'er hurriedly comforted her, and then asked her to come to her home at night to help her think of a way.

In the evening, in the living room of Xiu'er's house, she told Xiu'er about the reason why she and Ah Ren had a stalemate.It turned out that this morning, when she was washing clothes, she found two movie ticket stubs in the pocket of Ah Ren's jacket. The date was Wednesday and the time was seven o'clock in the evening.She suddenly remembered that on Wednesday, she wanted to go out for dinner with Ah Ren, but Ah Ren called to say that he had to work overtime because there was a plan to be handed over to the general manager the next morning.She was very disappointed, and muttered a few words unhappily.She didn't think much about it at first, but after discovering these two movie ticket stubs, she felt that something was wrong.She rummaged through Ah Ren's clothes again, and sure enough, she found a few chestnut curly hairs stuck to them. Her own hair was short and black. It was obvious that these hairs belonged to another woman—she immediately thought of one. people.She was a person who couldn't hide things in her heart, so she immediately went to ask Ah Ren what was going on.Ah Ren became flustered when he saw the two ticket stubs. He explained that he and his colleague A Liang went to see them together.She said that you worked overtime that day, why did you still have time to watch movies? Ah Ren explained that he worked overtime for a while that day. Later, A Liang said that there was a new movie that was released that was very good, so they went to see it.Hearing Ren's sophistry, she became even angrier, and dared not admit that she had done it, so she took out the hairs she found on his clothes and asked him what was the matter, but Ren avoided answering.She insisted on asking Ah Ren to give herself an explanation.Aren, who was forced to be anxious, said a few harsh words, and the two quarreled.In the end, Ah Ren dropped the word "divorce" and slammed the door and left.

After listening to her story, Xiu'er asked her: "Just two movie ticket stubs and a few hairs can't prove that he really had an affair. Maybe you are overthinking."

"It must be, and I know that woman is one of his colleagues, named Man Ling. She and other colleagues came to my house as guests. Her hair is curly chestnut hair. You also know that I am very sensitive to smells, so I remember the smell on her body. The smell of perfume, the perfume I smelled from Ah Ren's clothes was exactly the same as hers, isn't that enough to show that there is something wrong with the two of them?" She said decisively. "Originally, as long as he could admit that he was wrong, I wouldn't pursue it too much. But not only did he not admit it, but he also spoke harsh words and wanted to tell me about divorce, which made me very sad. I will go to their unit tomorrow and let the couple Dogs and men show their true colors." She said bitterly.

"Unless you have made up your mind to divorce him, you must not do this, otherwise, your relationship may never be restored." Xiu'er hurriedly stopped and said, "Don't worry, I will find out for you. Find out what he said. Today you stay with me temporarily and wait for me to come back. "

Although Xiu'er and her are best friends, she has known Ah Ren for a longer time. The two of them are college classmates and have always had a good relationship.Xiu'er called Ah Ren and made an appointment for a meeting place.After seeing Ah Ren, Ah Ren admitted that he had indeed lied, that he didn't work overtime at all that day, but went to the movies with his female colleague Man Ling.But he said that he and Man Ling were innocent, and there was no improper relationship as she thought, but he was able to chat with her very well.Although Man Ling is not particularly beautiful, she is capable at work, and has a cheerful personality and understanding. Colleagues are willing to deal with her, because being with her makes people feel very comfortable.

Then, Ah Ren began to complain to Xiu'er again, saying that since she got married, "she" seemed to be a different person.He said that when she was in a relationship, she was very gentle and considerate, and she was very image-conscious.

(End of this chapter)