Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 21 There is a kind of happiness called waiting (3)
Three days later, under the persuasion of her parents, she returned to her home, but she still ignored Liang Jian.During this period, Liang Jian also began to reflect on his actions and realized his mistakes. He talked to Xiao Lian once and made it clear to her.And Xiao Lian no longer insisted, and promised not to pester Liang Jian again.After finishing with Xiaolian, Liang Jian once again admitted his mistake to "her" and promised not to make her sad again.But she still didn't believe him and didn't forgive him. In her opinion, he should be taught a lesson about this matter, otherwise it would be difficult to guarantee that he would not do it again.She continued to ignore Liang Jian, went to work early every day, and always came home after dinner at night, and went to bed when she got home, without saying a word to Liang Jian.No matter how Liang Jian explained or guaranteed, she would not respond.

In this way, more than half a month passed in a blink of an eye, and it will be the end of the month in two days. She felt that Liang Jian's punishment was almost done, so she decided that if Liang Jian came back from get off work at night to seek reconciliation with her, she would Give him a step up.However, what she never expected was that Liang Jian not only did not seek reconciliation again after work that day, but filed for divorce on the grounds that he could no longer bear her cold violence.

On the surface, the person at fault in the story is Liang Jian. He should not have contacted his original girlfriend behind his wife's back. Although he did nothing out of the ordinary, this is wrong in itself, so he should be condemned.However, it is not only Liang Jian who is at fault, "she" is also at fault, she is wrong because she did not use tolerance to forgive Liang Jian's fault, especially after he realized his mistake and sincerely repented, Liang Jian lost his patience , Bringing harm to both the relationship and the marriage.If when Liang Jian's prodigal son turns back, she can forgive and tolerate with a tolerant heart, then the ending of the story must be more satisfactory than this.

In fact, a woman who knows how to be tolerant at the right time is the real wise man.Of course, tolerance is not cowardly compromise and tolerance, but a manifestation of confidence and strength.Most women are more emotional and often cannot control their emotions freely. Therefore, if you learn to be tolerant, women will maintain a calm and peaceful state of mind.When a woman tolerates a man, she will not only get the man's gratitude, but also liberate herself.

Of course, everything has a certain measure, and tolerance cannot be unlimited.Because tolerance is not an absolute compromise, although tolerance sometimes requires compromise; tolerance is not absolute tolerance, although tolerance sometimes requires tolerance; tolerance is not absolute accommodation, although tolerance sometimes requires accommodation.

4. Many things are not something you can keep if you want
At least once in my life, I forget myself for someone, not asking for results, not asking for companionship, not asking for possessions, not even asking you to love me, just asking to meet you in my most beautiful years.

How long is the shelf life of love?For men and women in love, it is difficult to describe the intimacy between them like glue and inseparable. In their view, the shelf life of love is unlimited. They believe that their love can last forever, especially for those who are in love For women in the middle, they are even more convinced of this.But the truth often surprises them, and even scars them all. The shelf life of love is not as long as they imagined, or even very short.Since the freshness period of love is so short, when the passion of love fades away and love enters the ordinary life of marriage, how should we stay together with the one we love and spend the rest of our lives together?

This is a difficult question to answer, because the love between different men and women has their own different genes, so there is no unified answer on how to stay together for a long time.However, among these different answers, there is one condition that is necessary, and that is to give the other party freedom.Love itself comes naturally, and many times there is no reason, no reason, no constraints, and even some unreasonable, so, in essence, love itself is free.Therefore, in order to maintain this love, it is necessary to give the other party freedom.

People often say that "marriage is the tomb of love". Although the metaphor is a bit exaggerated, many people in the besieged city agree with it very much. Too much restraint, lost the original freedom, because they are not free, so they feel that their love is buried in the grave.In real married life, many women will regard men as their own private property and a part of themselves, so they do not allow men to have any secrets and privacy, and they must be completely transparent to themselves.They think that in this way, their love is the purest and the longest lasting, but the result often makes them very disappointed and hurt, because they don't understand men too much. In men's thinking, if freedom is deprived, then existence may become meaningless.

Of course, this kind of freedom does not mean letting the other party indulge as he pleases, nor does it allow the other party to develop a bad habit of looking at the height of this mountain. Freedom at a safe distance.

There is a classic law in aesthetics: distance produces beauty.This law is very applicable in love and marriage.Sometimes the relationship between husband and wife is just like this law says, only a certain distance can produce beauty, and only then can the other party see their own beauty.This principle is very similar to the principle of flying a kite.

When flying a kite, if you want the kite to fly high and far, you must hold the string in your hand carefully. If you pull the string too tightly, the string may break; if you loosen the string, the kite may break. Float out of your sight, break free from your grip.Therefore, how to grasp the tightness of this thread is very critical.For a woman in marriage, a man is like a kite in her hand, and managing a marriage is like flying the kite.

Every woman hopes that her husband can stay with her forever, just like every kite-flying person hopes that the kite can be controlled by herself forever.So, if you want your man to be successful in his career and bring you more happiness in life, then you must properly give him some free space so that he can let go of his hands and feet to think, to achieve my dreams.If you always hold him tightly, it will make him feel fettered and troubled. If things go on like this, the thread of marriage is likely to be torn by you.

The news that she and Luo Lin were going to divorce shocked everyone like a bomb in the circle of friends.Everyone couldn't believe it, how could it be possible for such a married couple who were once envied by all their friends to get divorced?Although everyone doesn't believe it, it is a fact. This couple who have been in love for a year and married for a year, and their relationship has always seemed to be very good, has really come to the end of their fate.

Luo Lin is a very ambitious person. He started his own business after graduating from university. After ten years of hard work, he has achieved success in his career.But because I have been busy with my career, I hardly have time to fall in love, and I was still single until I was 35 years old.With the continuous increase and maturity of experience, age and thinking, his requirements for the other half are becoming more and more demanding.His family had introduced him to many girlfriends with good looks and family backgrounds, but he was not satisfied.And her appearance made him feel that his own happiness had arrived.

They met at a friend's party.She was a college classmate of Luo Lin's friend's girlfriend. At that time, she was 30 years old and worked as an administrator in a company. She was very beautiful and had a very elegant temperament.As soon as they met, Luo Lin was fascinated by her, and then launched a fierce pursuit of her.She is also a very demanding person for love, so she is still single after [-] years old. Facing Luo Lin's pursuit, she didn't take it seriously at first, because she has never lost suitors around her for so many years, so she He just regarded Luo Lin as one of his pursuits.But as she got to know Luo Lin more and more, she also began to fall in love with him.And just like that, she became his girlfriend a few months later.Originally, she has always been the envy of everyone in the circle of friends, because she is not only beautiful and temperamental, but also very capable at work, and now she has found a very good boyfriend, which naturally makes everyone more happy. Envious.

After dating for a year, they got married.However, just when their relatives and friends thought that they would live happily ever after, news of their divorce came out after just one year of marriage.So, what exactly caused them to get to this point?
It turned out that shortly after getting married, she had a serious illness, and after recovering from her illness, she was relatively weak, so Luo Lin advised her to quit her job and recuperate at home.Although she was a little reluctant to leave her job, but she was not healthy enough, so she had no choice but to compromise.In this way, she suddenly changed from a working woman to a housewife. Perhaps the change of status made her feel a little uncomfortable, but gradually, she changed.I am no longer as generous and tolerant as I used to be, and I have become a little suspicious and unconfident.Because of work, Luo Lin spends a lot of time on business trips and socializing, so it is inevitable that there will be times when he can't take care of his family.In the past, she was always very considerate and never disputed with him, but now she often gets into trouble with him because of these.

At the beginning, he also knew that she would not be able to adapt to returning to the family from the workplace, so he always coaxed her patiently, but after a long time, he sometimes got a little bored.And what he couldn't tolerate the most was that she began to doubt him.Because of his successful career, some gossip is inevitable around Luo Lin.When she was in a relationship, she didn't take it seriously, because she was very confident and believed in him.But after getting married, especially after resigning, she became suspicious. As long as she heard the wind, she would suspect him like a "prisoner".She even asked him to report his whereabouts to him at all times, such as who he went out to meet every day, who he went with every business trip, and how long he would accompany clients every time... If any time, Luo Lin took it late After a while, she will make a lot of noise because of her phone call.Luo Lin felt that he was going to be suffocated. For this reason, he talked to her many times, hoping that she would give him some space and not control him too tightly, but she thought that if she didn't do this, she would lose him. .As time passed, Luo Lin felt that he couldn't bear it anymore, so he asked her for a divorce.Luo Lin thought that after he filed for divorce, she would reflect on herself and make some changes, so that they would still have a chance to go on, but she didn't expect that not only did she not start to reflect on herself, but she continued to quarrel with him, and even started the fight between the two parties. Relatives and friends are all involved.In the end, Luo Lin made up his mind and resolutely filed a divorce application with the court. After many mediations, Luo Lin was firm. After crying and making troubles, she felt physically and mentally exhausted, and finally agreed to the divorce.

In marriage, many women do not understand such a truth, that is, men are born to advocate freedom, and the more successful a man is, the more he needs broad and free space.However, women always hold that thread tightly in their hands, and they don't want to relax at all. They think that this way they can tie men to them, so that they can keep their love and marriage. The tighter it is, the farther away the men will be from them, and they will even tear off the thread and float away.

Women are conscientious animals. Most of them are willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their families, and most of them would rather wrong themselves for their lovers.Women's requirements for men are actually very simple, that is, to be faithful to themselves.But the many conditions attached to this requirement are very cumbersome, this is not okay, that is not right, everything is a rule.A man can lead the family, but he has to act step by step. He has to ask for instructions in the morning and report in the evening. If any point is missed, it will be difficult to live in peace.Just imagine, if a man lives in such a family atmosphere, how long can he endure it?

In this way, I am not complaining about injustice for men, but actually feeling sad for women.Because almost all women who do this have no self-confidence, and are even a little ignorant and ignorant, because the methods they use to detect love are all wrong.Your lover, no matter how much he loves you, can never be you.He can give you his heart, but he can never give you his brain.You can be his queen, but you can't control all his thoughts.

There are many differences between men and women. In the eyes of women, shooting stars across the sky are very romantic, but in the eyes of men, they are just some falling stones from the sky.Women are right and so are men.Life is a variable, one thought is the sky, one thought is the earth, how to interpret it all depends on the individual.Therefore, instead of brainwashing a man and making him an appendage of your thoughts, it is better to give him space and let him develop freely.If you always bind the other party in the name of love, then sooner or later your love will make him breathless and he will resist him.

Therefore, I advise women to take good care of the thread in their hands, and to achieve a degree of relaxation, so that love will be more attractive, and marriage will be stronger and happier.

5. Honey, we can not argue

I really don't want our "war" to continue, because I know we will fight our love, I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't want to...

Women must have a deeper understanding of the saying that marriage is the grave of love.After getting married, a woman will gradually find that a man seems to be a different person. When he was in love, he was well-dressed and now he is unkempt; Language; the tenderness and consideration when falling in love has become the current clothes to stretch out hands and food to open mouth.Among these changes, what makes women feel the most sad is that when they were in love, the person who obeyed her own words and listened with gusto no matter what she said to him, no matter how long she said, has now become a person who frowns whenever she opens her mouth. , showing an impatient look.As a result, women began to suspect that men had changed their minds, and even thought that men were liars. All the good performances in dating were to trick themselves into marriage and become their accessories. cherish.With this kind of thinking, women will not be reconciled, and will find various reasons to argue and quarrel with men, which will lead to more serious family crises.

So, is the fact really what women think?In fact, in most cases, it is women who cause men to become like this.Women only see the changes in men, but they don't realize that they have changed a lot after getting married. These changes also make men uncomfortable or even disgusted.Among all the changes in women, the nagging of women and the various quarrels caused by it are probably the most unbearable for men.

(End of this chapter)