Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 26 Be able to advance or retreat, leave an open-mindedness for others and yourself (4)
At this time, the classmate who gave Annie Meihui's contact information knew about her difficulties, so he persuaded her to give it a try, and told her Meihui's phone number.Facing the pressure of loan sharks, Annie finally mustered up the courage to call Meihui.As a result, Mei Hui's answer was both what she expected and also unexpected.Meihui rejected her on the grounds that the company has been short of funds recently and cannot afford so much cash at once. If it can be postponed for a few months, there should be no problem.Annie hung up the phone in disappointment. In the end, she had to sell the house at a low price and pay off the usury.

Seeing this, some people may say that Meihui in the story is too unkind, that she refused to help her former friend when she encountered such a big difficulty, and would rather die than save her.However, from Mei Hui's standpoint, it is understandable for her to do so.Firstly, what she said might be the truth, her company might really have encountered a financial problem and really couldn’t afford it; secondly, to take a step back, even if she told a lie, it is justifiable. Just imagine, a friend who has voluntarily cut off contact with me and has not been in touch for many years suddenly comes to me and asks me to borrow money, and it is a large amount of money.Therefore, what Mei Hui did was not wrong.

From this story, we can draw a truth, that is, in interpersonal communication, you must keep in touch with your friends, so that when you need help, it is possible for your friends to lend a helping hand to you.If you always treat interpersonal communication with an attitude of quick success and instant benefit, thinking that "you don't need to feed the fish after you catch the fish", then it means that you have lost the opportunity to deepen the friendship.

The friendship between people cannot be established overnight. It takes time to run in and experience, so that we can move from understanding to trust step by step, from strangers to irreversible.Therefore, if you want your interpersonal relationship to stand the test, you must pay more attention and pay more in peacetime.First, keep in touch with old classmates and childhood playmates.Your childhood classmates and playmates are definitely the most precious network resources in your life, because the friendships established when you were young are the most innocent, simple, and deepest.Second, actively participate in friends' gatherings.Don't use "too busy" or "too tired" as an excuse not to go to a friend's party. Doing so will not only make your friends gradually alienate you, but also make you "loneled" and difficult to communicate with.In this way, even if you have difficulties, you will not have too many friends to help you.In addition, you must do your best to do what you promise your friends.Human affection must be sufficient, and helping others must be helpful to the end.It is within your ability to ask a friend for something, and you have already agreed to the friend's request, so you must do your best to make the matter complete, otherwise you should not agree.Remember, the favor of a friend, after weighing the pros and cons, if there is no harm to others or yourself, then you must make the most of the favor to the end.Also, express sincere gratitude to friends who have helped you.When a friend helps you in something, you must give sincere thanks, and let the other party know that it is because of his help that you have made your current progress and success.Not only will this give friends who have helped you a sense of accomplishment, but they will also be more willing to lend a helping hand to you the next time you ask.Finally, learn to make more friends.Usually use snacks and make more friends.Although not all friends can become your confidantes, over time, you can still gain many true friendships.

For the friendship accumulated over time, the most important thing is the usual management and care.Otherwise, when you need it, you may find that it has already "changed its taste".Sometimes, if you don't contact a friend for more than half a year, then you may lose this friendship.Therefore, the most basic principle of establishing a "relationship" with friends is: don't lose touch with your friends, and don't wait until you need help before thinking of contacting your friends.

6. The most beautiful compensation in life

I don't know what I'm doing right now and what I'm doing wrong until I die of old age.So all I can do now is do my best and wait to die.

When it comes to investment, most people think that it is related to money. For example, in business, if you don’t invest capital, how can there be profit?For example, in stocks, if you don't invest the principal, how can you get any dividends?As the saying goes, there will be rewards if you pay.In interpersonal communication, the same principle applies.It's just that in interpersonal communication, what we pay is not the cost of money, but our feelings, that is to say, it is a kind of emotional investment.So, what "benefits" will this investment bring us?The return can be said to be a huge profit.

Because everyone longs for family, friendship, and love, and also longs for the understanding, support, and trust of others. It can be said that the need for emotion is one of the most basic needs of everyone.

As the famous psychologist Maslow said: "Love is human instinct, we need love just like we need iodine and vitamin C." And emotional investment just meets people's requirements for this.The ancient sages have already told us this truth-"Those who touch people's hearts, don't care about love first."

So, specifically, how do we use emotional investment to gain friendship?In fact, it is very simple to achieve this goal, that is to treat every friend sincerely.Sincerely understanding each other, caring about each other, and thinking about each other, this is more important than a meal or a gift.

Song Jiang in "Water Margin" is not first-class in terms of martial arts, family background, and wealth, but why did he stand out among many Liangshan heroes and sit on the top spot in Liangshan?It is precisely because he has done a good job in emotional investment that he has accumulated a lot of good relationships, which can be seen from the nickname "Timely Rain".

It can be seen that sincerely helping others is actually the most effective emotional investment.Therefore, in interpersonal communication, you must sincerely help others overcome difficulties or climb to the peak, so that you will not only exercise yourself, but also get rewards in the future.

The tallest and most majestic plant in the world is the redwood in California. So far, the tallest redwood discovered by people is more than 110 meters high, which is equivalent to the height of a 40-story building.According to common sense, to be able to grow so majestic must have a deep foundation.However, what is surprising is that the root system of Sequoia is very shallow, which belongs to shallow-rooted plants.This makes people have a big question, grow so tall, why are the roots so shallow?
It turns out that Sequoia is a plant that grows in groups, that is to say, the growth of Sequoia must be in a large area, and no single Sequoia can grow so tall.Large tracts of redwoods grow into a forest, and their roots are closely connected underground to form a large root network. This large root network is the support for the growth of redwoods, and it is also the main reason why redwoods grow so tall.Because Sequoia does not have to waste nutrients on rooting, but all used on upward growth.At the same time, the shallow roots are also convenient for them to absorb nutrients quickly, in large quantities, and fully, which is conducive to growth.

The reason why sequoias can grow into towering trees is the result of mutual help.Therefore, if you can sincerely help others in interpersonal communication, then you can form good karma, absorb various "nutrients" quickly and in large quantities, and then like Sequoia, even in the face of "storm" Stand firm.

However, there are many women in life who don't understand this truth. They always hold the attitude of "someone has something to do, and no one has nothing to do".But if things go on like this, they will also be abandoned by others.Their relationship with people is just to use each other, and then abandon each other, and they are always alone in the end.

She is a girl who likes to make friends. She has a lively personality and is very humorous, so she can always attract the attention of others and quickly win the favor of others.As a result, she can always make many friends quickly.However, when she needs help, it is almost difficult to see friends, because although she makes friends very quickly, and there seem to be many friends around her, there are very few people who really make friends with her and become her true friends. few.Why is this so?
It turns out that she is a girl who is not very good at maintaining friendship, and her inconsistency makes people very disgusted.For example, she always said in front of her friends that no matter who asks her for help, she will do her best.But when a friend really asks her for help, she will find all kinds of excuses to push back.Sometimes, she does a friend a favor occasionally, and she always wants to get the return from the friend immediately. If the friend neglects a little because of this, she will be very angry, and even speak ill of the friend behind her back.Because of these bad habits, friends began to alienate her.So, although she always makes new friends quickly, she ends up being a lonely girl with no real friends.

In real life, many women like "she" have this bad habit. Once the relationship with friends is established, they will stop paying attention, so they will often ignore some details in the relationship between the two parties.For example, the information that needs to be reported is not reported in time, and the situation that should be explained is not explained. They always think that "we have a good relationship anyway, and it doesn't matter if we don't explain it."As a result, if things go on like this, the conflicts with friends will accumulate deeper and deeper, and finally they have to part ways.

It can be seen that emotional investment must not only persist, but also cannot deliberately ask the other party to repay, otherwise things will backfire.If you are helping others with some kind of "attempt", it is easy for others to see through your mind, so it seems impossible for you to get real friendship from him.

Some people may say that feelings cannot be measured by money, and associating feelings with "investment" seems to be suspected of tarnishing feelings.However, what is paid in "emotional investment" is not money, but a person's sincerity, so this kind of payment not only does not tarnish the relationship, but also makes the relationship more vivid and fresh.Learning "emotional investment" is a compulsory course for every woman who wants to have a good relationship.

(End of this chapter)