Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 27 The pure whiteness of life, keep the pure land of the soul (1)
Happiness in life is sweet, sweet has a sweet taste.

The parting of love is salty, and salty has a salty taste.

Life is usually light, and light also has a light taste.

- Lin Qingxuan
1. No one is worth your envy

Envy is a hatred which makes a man miserable at the happiness of others and joyful in his misfortunes.

Why is she prettier than me?Why is her job better than mine?Why is her boyfriend more handsome than mine?Why does her husband make more money than mine?Why am I not as happy as her? ...In life, there are always many women who will cast envious and jealous eyes on the female friends around them. Seeing other people's success and happiness, compared with their own ordinary and ordinary, they feel unwilling.

Bacon once said: "The devil of envy is always secretly and quietly 'destroying the good things in the world'." Shakespeare also said: "Envy is a green-eyed monster. Whoever becomes its prisoner will be punished." Fool.” Therefore, jealousy is a kind of pathological psychology, which may make people become resentful, irrational or even humble and wretched.

Jealous women are always greedy to make themselves more beautiful, happier and more successful than others. If they find someone better than themselves, they will feel uncomfortable, and they will try their best to hinder the development and success of others, even Don't hesitate to use despicable means.However, this kind of behavior that harms others and does not benefit oneself can only result in lifting a rock and hitting oneself in the foot.

She was born in a small county town in the northwest, her parents are ordinary workers, and her family background is average.She has studied very hard since she was a child, so that one day she can be admitted to university and change her destiny, because if she fails to enter university, she will only be able to live in this small county for the rest of her life.The hard work paid off, and after more than ten years of hard study, she finally got her wish and was admitted to a foreign language department of Peking University.Her parents and family are happy for her.Naturally, she was also very excited. She felt that her destiny was about to change. She decided to seize the opportunity and strive to stay in Beijing after graduation.

She has been very jealous since she was a child. If a female classmate wears a beautiful dress, she will be unhappy and will say that she is ugly; if a classmate has a higher grade than her, she will feel even more uncomfortable. , will say behind the scenes that other people's test scores are "watery", and they are copied from a cheat sheet.Because her grades have always been excellent, even if she is a little jealous, the teachers and classmates don't care much about her.As a result, her bad habit persisted.

After she got to college, her jealousy intensified.As long as she finds that other students are better than her in any aspect, she will be jealous; as long as the teacher praises other students, she will feel sour.Moreover, she always complains that she was born in a not-so-rich family, and she feels resentful when she sees the rich clothes and good food of other classmates; when other classmates get scholarships, she will be so jealous that she tosses and turns at night, unable to sleep, and often complains to God unfair.

What she can't get used to the most is Zhou Meng, a classmate from the same county and the same high school as her. It turned out that the two of them had been on the same level in high school.But after going to college, Zhou Meng performed better than her in all aspects, and was elected monitor, which made her even more jealous.For this reason, she often speaks bad things about Zhou Meng to other students behind their backs, but the students in the university are not as easy to deceive as the students in the county. Everyone can see that she is jealous of Zhou Meng, so they start to alienate her .

However, she did not reflect on her mistakes. In an exam in the second semester of her sophomore year, in order to get a high score and surpass Zhou Meng, she even went to the office to steal the test paper.As a result, the incident was revealed, and the school's Academic Affairs Office gave her a serious warning.Originally, she had already handed in the application for joining the party, and she was very hopeful to join the party. After joining the party, she would have the opportunity to graduate and stay in school, but because of this incident, her plan was completely ruined.

Hegel said: "A jealous person cannot accomplish a great cause by himself, so he tries his best to underestimate the greatness of others, and belittles the greatness of others to make it equal to himself." So, sometimes, a person cannot achieve greatness. Success is not because he is not capable enough, nor because he has no chance, but because he is dazzled by jealousy.

Because of jealousy, people will always use their own shortcomings to compete with other people's strengths, but doing so is tantamount to hitting a stone with a pebble, and they can only ask for trouble for themselves.People who are jealous will make themselves stupid, they can't see the strengths of others, and they can't understand themselves thoroughly.Therefore, if you want to be a happy woman, you must learn to open your mind, look at people who are better than you calmly, don't be arrogant, and don't belittle yourself.

Confucius said: "If you want to be established, you will establish others; if you want to achieve yourself, you will be able to achieve others." In life, you must have a peaceful and harmonious heart, and you must not be jealous.When others have achieved something, don't be jealous. You should look at it calmly and have the confidence to achieve greater success than others. This is the secret of a happy life.

The little bird asked the father bird: "Are people happy?"

Father Bird replied: "They are not as happy as us."

The little bird asked suspiciously, "Why is that?"

The father bird replied: "Because there is a thorn in people's hearts, and this thorn tortures them all the time."

The little bird asked, "What is this thorn?"

Father Bird replied, "Jealous."

Pricking a thorn in your finger will feel very painful. If this thorn is stuck in your heart, of course it will make people feel overwhelmed with pain.So, don't let your heart get stabbed.

Jealousy is really a double-edged sword, hurting others and hurting oneself.It is normal for a person to have a little bit of jealousy, and it may be the driving force and source of self-improvement.But this kind of emotion is like a weed, which spreads and grows after a little indulgence, covering the whole heart, and at the same time casts a shadow over my life.Therefore, we must step out of the shadow of envy.

2. Leave a warm corner for tolerance to live in
There are two kinds of people in the world: takers and givers.The former may eat better, but the latter definitely sleeps better.

A man once said that he would rather live ten years less than marry a beautiful woman.It can be seen from this that if a woman is beautiful, she will be naturally loved by thousands of people.

Beautiful women can be self-willed, because there will naturally be men who will tolerate them; beautiful women can be lazy, because naturally there will be men who will work for them; Spicy, because naturally there are men who are willing to pamper them... It doesn't matter that beautiful women have thousands of shortcomings, but don't be picky and mean. Once a woman is infected with this bad habit, no matter how beautiful she is, she will become Everyone dislikes it, because no matter how beautiful the face is, it will become ugly because of pickiness and meanness.

For men, the most unbearable thing is a woman who often ridicules herself.Conversely, even if a woman is not beautiful, if she has a tolerant heart, she will feel comfortable.

Picky and mean women are usually very stubborn and willful. If they insist on a certain point of view, they will not give up easily even in the face of opposition from the whole world.However, these viewpoints they hold are often counterintuitive, illogical, and even absurd.For example, people who don’t like to wear red clothes, or people who like to wear hats crookedly, will vomit when they eat oranges with seeds... Many women have similar characteristics more or less, which is probably also female. Vanity is at play.

If this kind of pickiness is still a bit of a petty personality, then there is a kind of pickiness and meanness of a woman that is a bit annoying.They are picky about everything, always thinking that this is not good and that is not good, as if God has done something wrong to them.

They often say something like this: "Look at that person's virtue, he really has no quality!" "Look at what kind of junk these are, they are of low quality!" The mirror is as ugly as Zhu Bajie!"

Listen carefully to these vitriolic words they said, and you will find that their mentality has a characteristic, that is, they look very passionate, but in fact they are very negative, and they are best at slander.Their subconscious thought: "If the whole world is not born for me, then it should be destroyed."

Generally speaking, this kind of woman does not have any advantages at all, and is likely to have no talent or good looks, let alone the family capital to show off. Maybe she chooses to use harsh words to ridicule and satirize others so that they have the opportunity to show themselves Well, it is both hateful and pathetic.

There is also a kind of women whose pickiness and meanness not only make them more and more impetuous, but also have a bad influence on the whole society.

There was such a news on the Internet, saying that a female college student who had just graduated took the bus company to court in anger because she missed the bus by a few steps, probably because of lack of service awareness or the like.At that time, it was the climax of promoting legal awareness, so she finally won the lawsuit.

Of course, rights protection must start with awareness, and the more details you have, the more you cannot ignore them. This is true.But from another point of view, this heightened awareness has also made many women particularly interested in trivial matters.

As a result, they have become more and more fond of finding faults, and even gradually deviated from the original intention of rights protection consciousness, breeding some silly behaviors that are fabricated out of thin air and grandstanding.If they can't be sober, their so-called rights protection will eventually become a meaningless picky act, which will eventually be condemned by the public.

Therefore, women can have their own opinions, but they must not associate these opinions with being picky and mean.You can stand up for your rights, but for some innocuous little things, it's better to be magnanimous.To be generous to others is to be tolerant to yourself.When you stop focusing on those boring things, when you start to reflect on yourself, it is possible for your life to improve.

At the same time, being picky and mean is also a kind of self-harm, because your unintentional pickiness may hurt someone. If the other party is a magnanimous person, he will naturally not care about you, but if the other party is a small-hearted person or even a vengeful person, Then you are likely to become the target of the other party's attack.Therefore, when you want to express critical words and deeds, you must think twice before speaking, and don't hold back your words.

In all fairness, no matter what kind of pickiness it is, it can't set off a woman's temperament, it will only make a woman appear uncultivated, and even annoying.A mature woman should be able to tolerate the world, and be able to accept everything that has a reason for existence in a moderate state.Of course, this does not mean that they are weak, but because they have their own principles, but this kind of principle is not picky or capricious, it is the basis of being a person and the bottom line of doing things.This does not mean that they have no thoughts, on the contrary, because they put all their energies on useful things, they make their thoughts more active and advanced.

Therefore, as a woman, be more tolerant and less picky and mean.

3. Life cannot carry too much material desire and vanity

Cats like to eat fish most, but cats can't swim; fish like to eat earthworms most, but fish can't go ashore.God has given you many temptations, but he will not let you get them easily.

The famous novel "The Necklace" by the French writer de Maupassant is a story about vanity.

The protagonist of the novel is Mathilde, who was born in a small staff family.Although her family background is not high, Mathilde looks a little bit pretty, which gives her a reason for vanity, she is not willing to live an ordinary life.However, her heart is higher than the sky, and her life is thinner than paper. Because she has no dowry and no assets, those rich and powerful people will never marry her. In the end, she had to marry a small employee.

The poor life after marriage is very different from the luxurious life that Mathilde imagined before. She is very unhappy and full of pain in her heart.Once, her husband brought home an invitation to a banquet, which really made her very happy.But after a while, she became worried again, because she didn't have a decent dress or jewelry.In order to satisfy her request, her husband made her a new dress with the four hundred francs he was planning to buy a shotgun, but what about the jewelry?At this time, Mathilde thought of her friend Mrs. Flashger, so she borrowed a necklace made of diamonds from Mrs. Flashger.

The day of the banquet arrived, and when she appeared at the banquet wearing a necklace, it aroused the admiration and flattery of the audience. That day, she stole the limelight and her vanity was greatly satisfied.She was intoxicated with joy and felt that she was the proudest and happiest woman in the world.

Unfortunately, on the way home, the diamond necklace was lost.In order to compensate for this necklace worth [-] francs, she was deeply in debt.In the next ten years, she lived a more miserable life in order to pay off her debts.But when the debt was paid off, she realized that the original necklace was fake and worth five hundred francs at most.

Maupassant did not write a clear ending to this novel, and it stops abruptly here, leaving a huge room for imagination for the readers.For the heroine Mathilde, the most tragic thing is not that she owed a huge debt, but because she has lived a life of anxiety for ten years, all of which stem from her vanity.

Someone once said: A vain woman is a prisoner of money, and a vain man is a prisoner of power.Vanity is a bad psychological emotion, a distorted and exaggerated self-esteem.Vanity-minded women always like to listen to other people's compliments and good words. They are enthusiastic on the surface, but they are very cold on the inside, and they like to show off and show off.

On the surface, vanity women seem to have strong self-esteem and are always eager to get praise and honor, but in fact this is a manifestation of their extreme sense of inferiority.Because behind the vanity must be dissatisfaction with self-knowledge in one aspect, so I am eager to use exaggeration in other aspects to attract people's attention, so as to cover up and make up for my own shortcomings.In fact, what is often hidden is deep psychological defects such as low self-esteem and guilty conscience.

In fact, everyone in the world wants to have a certain honor and status, which is a very normal psychological need.However, at the same time, it should be understood that the pursuit of such honor and status must be consistent with one's own social role and ability.Face is "necessary and cannot be forced". If you "swell your face to make yourself fat", excessively pursue honor and show yourself, your personality will become distorted.At the same time, setbacks and setbacks should be treated correctly, and certain experiences can be summed up from them, so as to build self-confidence, self-love, self-reliance, and self-improvement, thereby eliminating vanity.

(End of this chapter)