Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 28 The pure whiteness of life, keep the pure land of the soul (2)
First of all, if you want to eliminate vanity, you must build self-confidence.Vanity women must be extremely unconfident in their hearts, or their self-confidence is often based on some false images fabricated by themselves, which is extremely unstable.Therefore, in order to get rid of the trouble of vanity, women must build self-confidence.Second, we must pursue truth, goodness and beauty in life.If a woman knows how to pursue truth, goodness and beauty, then she will not show off herself through improper means, and of course she will stay away from vanity.Also, don't compare blindly.If you always compare yourself with others horizontally, you will never be able to balance your mind, and your vanity will naturally become stronger.If you must compare, then compare yourself with your past to see if you have improved in all aspects.At the same time, you must also correctly view the superior conditions and achievements of others, and use this as your motivation to move forward.At the same time, we must continue to improve self-cultivation.Admiring vanity is a kind of mental illness. As the saying goes, "a heart disease needs a heart medicine".Therefore, continuous and active efforts to improve one's inner quality and self-cultivation are also a good way to overcome vanity.Finally, don't demand perfection in everything.Everyone has some perfectionist tendencies more or less, but don't let the pursuit of perfection reach a state of almost demanding, otherwise you will invisibly put a heavy burden on yourself, and vanity will follow.Therefore, properly unload the burden of pursuing perfection, let yourself relax, and keep your vanity away from yourself.

Vanity is a stumbling block and a burden in life.Only by completely getting rid of the slavery of vanity can one live a relaxed and confident self.If you want to gain personal confidence and happiness, you must root out vanity from your life.

Human desires are unlimited.The psychology of vanity will also follow you step by step, and it will become more and more intense.Therefore, if you don't know how to face your work and living environment calmly, you won't be able to get out of the "swamp" of vanity, but you will sink deeper and deeper into it.So in order to have a healthy life, you must stay away from vanity.

4. Don't always look up to other people's happiness

The scenery we often see is: a person always looks up to and envies the happiness of others, but when he turns around, he finds that he is being looked up to and envied.In fact, everyone is happy.It's just that your happiness is often in the eyes of others.

There is an old saying that goes well: Men conquer women by conquering the world, women conquer the world by conquering men.It can be seen that there are great differences in the way men and women gain a sense of security.

Generally speaking, men don't want to be the man behind a woman's back. A man should stand up for his family. If he hides behind a woman, he will definitely be gossiped about.But on the contrary, women like to be the woman behind a man, because for women, being the wife of so-and-so makes them feel more comfortable.

For many women, they hope that their man is the dragon among men with outstanding looks and successful career.Of course, women are also very realistic, they know that this wish is not so easy to achieve.

Therefore, they settle for the next best thing, if they are not outstanding, they can make money, if they don’t have literary and military talents, even if they don’t take advantage of these, at least they have a good temper and obey their own words.In short, as the other half of life, one's own man must have one thing that can be compared with others, and he must win the comparison.Why do these women think so, because they all have a common characteristic, that is, they like to compare themselves. When they were young, they would compare with their classmates for their prettiness and clothes, and when they grew up, they would compare their boyfriends with their friends for handsomeness. They make a lot of money, and after they get married, the object they use to compare with others becomes their husband.From appearance to work, from background to ability, they will compare everything that can be compared.

If you can compare with others, you will be complacent, if you can't compare, you will be extremely painful, and then spread all the grievances in your heart on the man, which will bring a lot of disputes to the originally peaceful family life.

She was very beautiful. When she was in college, she had many suitors. After choosing and choosing, she chose Hu Kai.Hu Kai looks very ordinary, and his personality is relatively introverted. The classmates felt that he was not good enough for her, and they were all surprised why she chose the humble Hu Kai.But she knew in her heart that although Hu Kai's appearance was average, his family was very rich, his parents were running a company, and Hu Kai was the only child in the family.

One year after graduating from university, Hu Kai inherited his parents' company, and another year later, she married him, and Hu Kai prepared a grand and luxurious wedding for her.The wedding stole the show and gave her a big show in front of many old classmates and colleagues.After getting married, she quit her job and lived the life of a rich wife at home.However, Hu Kai is not very good at doing business. After only half a year, the company lost a lot of money.

After another six months, the company completely closed down.Hu Kai had no choice but to start working part-time. In this way, she changed from a rich wife who had no worries about food and clothing and stayed at home full-time into an ordinary white-collar wife. She had a huge psychological gap and began to complain about Hu Kai in every possible way.

Once, she took her husband to a college reunion.While the men were pushing and changing glasses, the women began to whisper and comment.At this time, she no longer had the prestige of the past. The husbands of the other female students were either managers, bosses or state cadres. They all had bright futures. Only her husband was an ordinary white-collar worker.

But seeing that other female classmates were praising her husband, she didn't want to just bow down like this, but after thinking about it for a long time, she couldn't think of anything special about her husband.Although he used to start his own company, but now the company has closed down, and he is just an ordinary white-collar worker.In terms of appearance, her husband is not handsome at all, and in terms of IQ, it is not much higher from the fact that he closed down the company.After thinking about it, she became more and more depressed.

From then on, she began to find fault with Hu Kai everywhere, no matter how she looked at it, she was not pleasing to the eye.I began to scold him every day, comparing him with the husbands of other classmates: You see how capable Xiaomei’s husband is, he is the HR manager of a foreign company; look at Xiaoli’s husband is even more powerful, he has already opened two companies; Xiaodan's husband is not yet forty, and is already the director... Hu Kai heard her scolding and didn't want to quarrel with her, so he had to swallow his anger.Seeing that her husband didn't speak, she felt even angrier, saying that her husband was a wimp who couldn't afford to support him.

She divorced Hu Kai, and then left Hu Kai with her two-year-old daughter.She wants to find another husband with good conditions in all aspects, so that she can live an enviable life again, and win when comparing her husband with her friends.However, it is so easy for a divorced woman with a child to find a new marriage partner. Two years have passed, and she has not yet married.

However, what she didn't expect was that Hu Kai was very lucky after the divorce.After the divorce, Hu Kai was very sad. He resigned, left this city, and started his business again in another city.After previous failures, Hu Kai has accumulated some experience, and with the help of a few friends, after two years of hard work, he has become a successful man again.After she knew the situation, she brought her daughter to Hu Kai, hoping to start anew with him.But Hu Kai rejected her, and at the same time asked her to get back the custody of her daughter through legal procedures.In the end, she was left with nothing.

The Frog Prince in the Grimm's fairy tales was originally an annoying character with a huge head, ugly face, and a cold body. The princess hated him very much.However, when it was thrown against the wall by the princess, it turned into a handsome prince.So the prince and princess began a happy life.

If the frog hadn't turned into a handsome prince, would he still be able to marry the princess?Are you still eligible to enjoy a happy life?The reality is cruel, even this fictitious love is for the prince, not for the frog.But the frog still likes to dream.In this world, those men with unattractive faces, low status, weak abilities, and weak personalities also want to get a true love.But most of these people were thrown into the world of frogs by women, and it was even more difficult to turn over.

In fact, if you think about it carefully, the frog prince is not worth mentioning. Because the frog prince's external conditions are not good, they usually have a "beautiful heart", know how to cherish, value love and righteousness, and can give women a sense of security for a lifetime.Comparability and vanity make women forget this point.Women, mostly save face, for the sake of face, they can sacrifice love.

When women usually choose a partner, they will say: "There is no condition, as long as you can bring it out." However, don't underestimate this "bring it out", this condition looks simple, but in fact it has a lot of meaning. high standard.Those who are short are not good, those who are ugly are not good, those who have no talent are not selected, those who have no wealth are not good, and those who have ID cards but no status, don't even think about it!

The unlucky woman hugged the prince and saw a frog.In fact, when your eyes are all about fame and fortune, and your heart starts to love vanity, you will definitely not be able to calm down, and you will definitely not be able to see true love.Losing love for the sake of face, there is no more stupid choice than this.Ladies, take this as a warning.

5. Achieve the superiority of others with a low profile
Low-key is a kind of self-cultivation, a concept, and a supreme spiritual state.Only those who know how to behave in a low-key way can perform every role well on the social stage and walk every step of the journey of life well.

Pavlov once warned people: "Never fall into pride. Because once you are proud, you will be stubborn when you should agree; because once you are proud, you will refuse the advice of others and the help of friendship; because once you are proud, you will You will lose your objective criterion.” That is to say, don’t always think that you are the smartest, and don’t look down on anyone, that’s no different from arrogance.Arrogance and ignorance are twin brothers.As the saying goes: "The sound of drums is loud, and the words of madness are big." All arrogant people overestimate themselves and underestimate others. If this continues, it is likely to end in failure, and what is more serious will be self-destruction .

(End of this chapter)