Self-control 2: How to control your emotions and destiny?

Chapter 25 Teaching You to Work Happily (1)
People deserve to live their dreams and deserve their dream jobs.But the premise is that complaining should not be used as a tool to relieve stress, but should go all out to overcome roadblocks and not make excuses for themselves.

◎Why does work make you unhappy?
1% bad mood will lead to 100% failure, there is no doubt about it.

Take 1 minute every day to ask: Am I happy in this job?If the answer is No, then, Why?

Now, there are a lot of unhappy people, and our offices are filled with "human skin fireballs" that are ready to explode at any moment, burning each other to death with anger, worry, or anxiety.In various environments, "emotional wars" at different levels are staged every day.

Newcomer Severin

Not long after she graduated from a prestigious university, Severin got her wish and entered a certain big company she yearned for.Although she had undergone strict pre-employment training before entering the job, she found that it did not help much in solving work problems.She was so annoyed, because interpersonal relationships were more difficult than handling work, and she felt that she could not guess what her colleagues and leaders really meant.Therefore, she often offends people, and her work is constantly frustrated.

always disgruntled william

William has been serving this company conscientiously for five years, but every time he is promoted, he becomes the one who is squeezed out by others.He went to the leader's theory several times, but the leader always had a more reasonable argument.The most hateful thing is that he found that some colleagues at the same level as him had higher salaries than him, and those people formed a circle, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't join them.While he wanted to change jobs, he was worried that he could not find a company with better wages.It stresses him out, and he can't help being extra angry or frustrated all the time.This month, he has lost control of his emotions and contradicted his boss twice, and the next time, he will probably be kicked out without resigning.

Duncan, an old salesman who is "stressed"
This year's performance pressure has doubled several times compared to last year, and Duncan found that his hair began to grow gray.No matter whether you open your eyes or close your eyes every day, the performance report is always emerging.Many colleagues are reluctant to chat, because opening their mouths means work, complaints, and pressure. Everyone has become an old cow who is constantly being whipped, and if they stop moving forward, they may be dragged to the slaughterhouse.

Duncan is an old cow in shackles. He still has 20 years to pay off the mortgage, his child will enter a private school next year, and his wife needs to go to the hospital frequently. But the heavy work really makes him physically and mentally exhausted. For this reason, he suffers from insomnia for several months.

mary dissatisfied with any job

If you ask Mary what kind of work she likes, she will say that the work itself is painful, do you like pain?It means that she doesn't like all kinds of work, even if she is allowed to sleep in the office, she will feel that there is no soft Simmons in the office.

Mary changed jobs five times within a year, and each company could not survive the trial period.Her reasons for resignation are constantly being updated: "The boss's hair is like Hitler." "The colleague is a caveman from ancient times and has no interest at all." "Do you believe that the company's pantry does not provide coffee?"

If there were a tool to measure the "emotional temperature" of the workplace, what would the result be?Will it explode?Because either the temperature is too high or too low.

Facing the ever-increasing work pressure, can we just complain blindly and be unhappy?In fact, this situation can be improved. As long as you find fun in your work, work will become a kind of enjoyment.

First of all, you have to develop an optimistic working attitude.Frequently ask yourself a few questions:
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Am I thinking in the right way?Is it right or wrong? ——
Are recent events an accident or the norm? ——
Do I often think about the worst? ——
Is there a better way to handle this matter? ——
Have I discovered and demonstrated my strengths?
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Am I worse than everyone else?
After clarifying these problems, you need to solve them in a targeted manner, dissect everything calmly, see where improvement is needed, and solve them one by one instead of leaving them alone.The scariest attitude for people is - I know everything, but I don't do anything.

Here, I offer several ways to work happily to help you find the source of happiness in your life.Brace yourselves and act now!
looking for simple pleasures

Psychological research has proved that a person who is always happy does not maintain a good mood because of strong excitement, but comes from the continuous accumulation of small happiness in life.Some people laugh once a month, such a person may not be optimistic, on the contrary, he may be a person who is easily pessimistic; some people have little things that make them happy every day, even if there are no surprises and excitement, He's also always happy and has a better tolerance for stress.

From now on, you can prepare a small notebook for yourself, record your daily mood, and write down the things that make you happy, such as eating a new flavor of candy, being praised by colleagues for the beautiful dress, and difficult customers today Put forward excessive reasons, the coffee in the pantry tastes good, etc.These little pieces add up slowly, and you develop the habit of accumulating joy.Even if you are scolded by clients and bosses to the point of crying at work, you can cheer yourself up by going to review the little joys.

Do jobs that are easy to make you happy
There are a lot of jobs that don't make people happy and can be very annoying.Don't we love this job?Of course not, because the work is difficult, and it is difficult for me to fully and easily use my abilities to solve them smoothly and quickly.

Knowing this, the problem is much simpler.We can dissect a job, list each link, and check it first.At this time, you will find that no matter how difficult the work is, in all its links, some parts are always easy and some are difficult.Then, start with the part that is easiest for you to play, from easy to difficult, and gradually advance.

For example, if you want to create an advertisement, the planning part is the most difficult part, which is the focus of the whole work.You sit in front of your computer and chew through several pen nibs, and you don't have any ideas. At this time, you should divert your attention and give up this part for a while.You can collect information, refer to other good ideas, compare their differences and similarities, and then discuss with colleagues, first do the simplest preparations, and look for opportunities to break through in the process.Even if it is difficult to easily access, you can get more inspiration.With this happy start, the next job is much easier and the job is less painful.

If possible, find a job that immerses you in
Many people can't do the work they like, which is why most of us are unhappy at work.A person who wants to travel around the world has to wait on the phone 24 hours a day to wait for the "scoring" from the customer. Is he happy?Even if his salary were doubled, he would not be happy.A person who is talented in writing and dreams of becoming an excellent reporter can only sit in front of a computer and write program codes every day. One can imagine the pain in his heart.

It is difficult to completely separate our work and life. Work affects life, and life affects work.The most perfect combination is the consensus of life and work-I love this job and immerse myself in it, even if life makes some necessary concessions to work, it's okay.

So, if possible, find a job you love.In terms of looking for a job you like, don't have any hesitation. You must find a career that you are really interested in before the age of 30, otherwise you may live in an unhappy atmosphere for half your life or even your whole life!

Find a sense of accomplishment outside of work
Most people's sense of accomplishment comes from the success of their careers. They are workaholics, devoting at least 60 hours a week to work, or even 70-80 hours, completely neglecting their families and other lives.Therefore, once the career is frustrated, some people may lose their sense of accomplishment and easily fall into self-doubt.

Studies have shown that the more diverse the image a person builds for himself, the easier it is for him to get happiness from life and work, and the faster he can get out of negative emotions.What is the image of diversity?It is to enhance your performance in multiple fields.

You need to build other sources of fulfillment outside of work, such as knowing a musical instrument and reaching a professional level.If you encounter a bottleneck at work and it affects your emotions, you can get another kind of recognition by showing your musical instrument skills, which will greatly reduce the impact of unsatisfactory work.

More importantly, we want to establish multiple roles in our lives.In addition to being a good advertising designer, you have to design your life well - you must also be an excellent father or mother, a filial son or daughter, a warm friend, a seer A well-informed traveler, a seasoned foodie, or a well-written columnist.When you have so many characters, even if you encounter a lot of trouble at work, your mood will not be affected too much.

Abandon the "utilitarian" view of work
When our traditional companies connect with their employees, it is always through contracts.Simply put, we sign a contract: you work for me and I pay you.In the process of work, employees have obvious utilitarianism and potential resistance.In the same way, the company will also have some kind of motivation to "use employees" in the process, and it is difficult to really create a happy working environment for them—just like many domestic companies.

I advocate a concept of "joyful work", which requires people to surpass themselves and regard work as an indispensable growth process in life, which will make life more valuable and meaningful.This is the meaning of work.If you treat work as something that oppresses humanity, or makes it a tool for some other end, it will never be joyful.

Don't make too many predictions about your future job
Do you always predict the future?This is not smart, the most common mistake people make is to focus too much on the future and ignore the meaning of the present.The more you predict the future, the more likely you are to be unhappy in the present.Why is this?People are always more inclined to predict future accidents, even if they fantasize a lot of good things, "accidents" are always in the category of our worries.

The suggestion of "happy work" is: you must do the work in front of you and prepare for the future, but don't worry too much.The better and more you do now, the less likely there will be accidents in the future.If you always use the future standard to measure the meaning of the current work, the present will become meaningless, and you will live in regret all the time.

It is not difficult to achieve "happy work", as long as you find the right method and correct your attitude.When you achieve happiness at work, you will find that other people become happy too.Because joy is contagious, especially if you're on a team.Surrounded by high-spirited and happy people, you feel like you're being eliminated, so it's hard to slouch.

The premise is that you must regard yourself as the master of your work and control your life, instead of being enslaved by it and afraid to make your voice.

Emotional Self-Management Course
my reason?

★"I don't like my job, I don't enjoy any pleasure from it, so I'm not happy!"

★"I can't forgive my mistakes, I always think about them, so it's hard to be happy."

★"I don't know the value of my work, no one told me, and I'm confused, so can I be happy?"

★"I envy those successful people. No matter how hard I try, I can't do it, so I'm not happy."

★"I take myself or others too seriously, to the point where I don't get understood, so I'm depressed every day."

★"My colleagues and superiors are sorry for me. This is the root of my unhappiness. I always think so."

◎Visual emotions on the desk

Messy drawers, file folders, shredded papers, and even those signature pens that you will never find when you need them urgently.These trivial things are not "important", so why does it always make us unhappy?Because they always take our energy and keep us busy and clueless.Let's get serious - it can destroy our positive aspirations in life.

If your life is filled with these visual, fragmented bad emotions, the troubles will occupy your mind, and this will become their position, and then plant the flag.Your mentality will gradually become gloomy, your fighting spirit will weaken, you will suffer from headaches, and it will be difficult to bring out your creativity and passion at work.Some people even lose interest in their work because of these trivial things, life becomes faltering, and he dare not try any challenging goals.

The question is, do you recognize the reason behind this?
The Determination of Circumstances: Am I Happy or Depressed?
Circumstances fundamentally determine your happiness, not your salary.This is often the case.In one of our surveys, we found that companies with a clean office environment have a low employee turnover rate, while companies with a chaotic office environment have a very high turnover rate, and employees often only work there for three to four years. I will find another job in the next month.

This shows that a clean and tidy environment makes people feel happy, and their acquisition of happiness is more likely to be achieved.Even if the salary is a little lower, they can bear it, which shows how much loyalty the environment provides, because they are always in a good mood when working here.They tend to see the positive side of life.

In a messy environment, it's a different story.An employee reported that he had a "big head" feeling: "Especially within 2-3 hours after going to work in the morning, I don't want to stay any longer, looking forward to the time to get off work." Employees are also more likely to encounter setbacks , generating more negative associations at work.

This must be a useful lesson for bosses all over the world: what kind of environment do I want to provide for my employees?In a tidy environment, the working team can easily cultivate a happy and positive culture, and their mentality is more sunny and energetic.On the contrary, you may always see the bad side, because those unimportant things are always wasting their energy.

Rhetorical question: Why not sort it out in advance?

Is it so difficult and painful to get these things organized?

A sophistry guy: "If I take even one minute out of my busy schedule to think about such trivial things, it is killing my future."

A lazy manager: "I need someone to do this job for me, but I can't find the right one right now, what a headache!"

Is it harder to tidy up by yourself than to bear such a painful job?
If you read this and find that your desk has become a mess, don't make excuses anymore. There are never enough excuses.Look around you - do it now, do it now, and put them back in place.
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Empty chocolate boxes should go to the trash can under the table;
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Hey, the rollerball is about to drop under the table!Do you see it, put it in the pen holder quickly;—
This is the office, put away the intimate photos of you and your male (female) friends;
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Is that a takeout order?Why is it caught in your work notes?Put it elsewhere at once;
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Is this book useful now?If not needed, put it on the shelf at once;—
Why are expired post-it notes still stuck on your computer? ——
Please put your keys, wallet and mobile phone in your personal bag;
……

These are small things that can be done easily, but for many lazy people, it is even more difficult to do them well, let alone keep them tidy every day.Some people swear by it: "The more messy, the more efficient." They just like the feeling of being in a hurry—even if the effect is not good.

Ms. Zheng, who works in a fashion magazine, is a typical workaholic. She has no hobbies other than talking about magazine sales every day.She is young, beautiful, smart and capable, and she comes to work in very professional and beautiful clothes every day. She looks like a very decent person, using a very popular saying: "High-end atmosphere and high-grade."

However, her desk is really unflattering. There are all kinds of snack bags, every issue of similar magazines, half-broken lipsticks, dry refills for signature pens, newly prepared interview drafts, full of papers, etc. Dust notebooks with fingerprints on them, mobile phones, keys... almost everything she might use is under her nose.The most unbearable thing is that on a high pile of magazines, there is a box of leftover instant noodles, which has been forgotten for almost a week, and there is a strange smell in the office from time to time. smell.

Many colleagues reminded her to clean up the table, but she said with disdain: "I'm too busy, I don't have time." Or she said: "I enjoy this feeling of fullness, if you don't like it, you can clean it up for me."

As time passed, Ms. Zheng became more and more sloppy, and some colleagues began to discuss:
"No wonder I can't find a boyfriend, who would dare to ask for such a mess!"

"Looking at her dressed so brightly, I didn't expect her living habits to be so bad. She really can't be judged by her appearance."

"I guess her house must be a small dump."

Of course, Miss Zheng couldn't hear these words, and even if she heard them, she wouldn't care.Until one day, her department was about to hold a very important meeting, and suddenly her leftover box of instant noodles fell on the newly prepared meeting report in the chaos. She panicked and swears .This suddenly stunned everyone in the office.Miss Zheng was severely reprimanded by her boss for delaying the meeting process, and almost lost her job.

Here, we'll provide a few strategies to keep your work environment tidy and clean, helping you start your day organized and productive.

Reasonably Divide the Office Area--Maximize the Use of Space
(End of this chapter)