Self-control 2: How to control your emotions and destiny?

Chapter 26 Teaching You to Work Happily (2)
Some secretarial work often needs to deal with documents, and the limited space on the desk is often not enough.At this time, you should divide your office area into areas and stack items in an orderly manner according to their functions.For example, you divide the space into ready-to-use document area, customer information area, office stationery area, personal items area, etc. In this way, not only can the space be effectively used, it is convenient to find things, but also greatly improve your work efficiency.

Pack unused items into cardboard boxes – keep your desk tidy
When working, there are only a few things that we really need in the short term, but those things that are used to beautify the office area often take up most of the space, such as snack bags, mobile phones, wallets, cosmetic bags, etc.Now, you need to tidy up your work area, and only keep the most frequently used things on the desktop, and put everything else in a cardboard box or in an area that does not disturb your work.Take special care to remove your coffee mug, which has become the biggest "file damage killer" for computer folks.

Category management - organize and record your folders

We will pile up more and more folders, and sometimes it has reached the level that the desktop cannot tolerate.Don't leave them alone. If you don't organize them all the time, you may not find them if you look them up and down the next time you need them.

Find a few cardboard boxes, and classify those files that are not commonly used or that are not needed in the short term according to your needs.If it can be classified according to year and month, it can also be classified according to purpose.In this way, the space on the desktop is cleared, and even if it is needed in the future, it can be easily found from the sorting carton.

The last step is to make a backup.It might take you some time, but one day you'll be glad you did.

Effective Post-it Tactic - "Hey, I'm here!"

With the acceleration of the pace of work and the subdivision of work content, post-it notes have become a tool that almost every office worker needs to use.Someone's office is like a photo room, and all the spaces are filled with various post-it schedules.

Is it efficient to use it like this?of course not.

You should sort the post-it notes and replace them in time, and tear off the expired post-it notes immediately.You can buy several Post-it notes in different colors or shapes, and each one records a different event reminder.For example, red records meeting reminders, green records appointment time for customers, yellow records your private events (this is best posted in a private place), etc.In this way, you can know at a glance what needs to be dealt with during the day, so as to better organize your time.

Get in the habit of cleaning - wipe down your desk regularly!

After the files were sorted, the desk was indeed a lot tidier.However, there is also the problem that some office workers never wipe their desks, and never clean them unless they are clearly stained.

You may wish to check your desktop, is there a thick layer of dust on some areas that are not often touched?Are there any food scraps caught in the crevices of some documents?Is your computer screen ready to write on?

Get into the habit of cleaning the desktop after entering the office every morning, even once a week, and slowly you will develop the habit of organizing files and disposing of garbage.

Emotional Self-Management Course
Think about what else?
Unique processing: Only one important thing is allowed to exist in our mind, and it is the work currently being processed.Just like having only one file on the desktop, it helps us focus and use our full creativity to get the job done.

Take off your shoes: Find a way to be happy, starting with learning to take off your shoes.If you toss your shoes before bed, you'll have a random day the next day.Seriously arrange your shoes in front of the bed, do this every day, stick to it, and then the next morning, you will have a completely different mood, and usher in a serious and dedicated work state, which will make your whole body full of vitality.

Neat mentality: You need to know that negativity can never change the problem, it can only destroy yourself.Let yourself get rid of distracting thoughts, don't think about those negative news, keep a high degree of attention to the positive side, and then use your happy attitude to infect your colleagues, you can enhance the team's happiness index.

◎Tear off malicious labels

Once I went to see a salesperson in a company, and she was a beautiful white woman named Ricky.She wanted to negotiate a business with my advertising agency on behalf of the company, but there was some dispute over the price.She asked me out twice just to get this out of the way.On the phone, I said we could meet at the coffee shop, the atmosphere is nice, and I know there is a store in Los Angeles that has a good wine, you can try it.

On the other end of the phone, Ricky was silent for 5-8 seconds and said, "Mr. Paul, I know another great place, why don't we go there?"

I said yes, you can do whatever you want.When I arrived at the place, I found that it was a Chinese restaurant opened by Chinese, very simple and clean.After entering, Ricky was already waiting for me on the sofa near the door, but there was no excitement and anticipation on her face, but anxiety and a bit of grievance.

Seeing her like this, I suddenly realized that she was wary of me.When I mentioned the atmosphere of the cafe and the good wine, Ricky thought too much, and imagined that I was a big villain with evil intentions.Out of vigilance, she asked to change the meeting place.This is a Chinese restaurant, there is no private space, and if I want to do "bad things", I'm afraid I have no chance.

During the meal, I brought up the subject candidly and told her not to think too much about it.I said, "I'm going to the airport in an hour to pick up my wife, who just came back from China." Ricky understood right away, and she apologized shamelessly, "I'm sorry, Mr. Paul, please forgive me. Your misunderstanding."

Ricky's mentality is very common in modern society, and we don't need to make a fuss, and of course I don't need my forgiveness, because I must understand the hard work and unfair treatment she has suffered as a business person.Especially some people-they have the power to sign contracts, or they have high positions. When facing a woman, they may use this as a bait to force her to agree to some unruly conditions by any means.When faced with such egregious behavior from clients, they often make the extreme choice of either being forced to commit the crime or losing their business or even their job.Undoubtedly, this kind of work is unspeakably happy, and sometimes anger cannot be controlled, and there are also cases of conflicts.

At work, the customer is God and cannot be offended; the boss is God and cannot contradict.We all know this, so people have become sandwich biscuits, and they are angry at what they do.Especially female employees, they are in a dilemma and have been trapped in a kind of extreme depression for a long time. This kind of emotion is difficult to explain, and problems will definitely occur after a long time.

Modern society is a competitive society. If there is fair competition, it is of course good, but the reality is cruel. Competition often does not abide by the rules, or even flouts the rules.For example, many bosses will use the luster of female subordinates to engage in public relations, trample on their personal dignity, and achieve the purpose of making money. This has long been a habit in the eyes of some bosses.

Case 25: Serena, a [-]-year-old woman, was sold by Washington Insurance Company

One day, a client called me and said let's meet, he had an order he wanted to sign for me.He is the representative of a major client, which is of course a good thing, and I have called him many times before and had an interview with his company, but I did not get an interview opportunity.

Now the client took the initiative to contact me, of course I went to the appointment very excitedly.Unexpectedly, after eating this meal for an hour, he didn't mention a word about work, and kept chatting with me and inquiring about my privacy.For example, do you have a boyfriend, are you married, and what kind of man do you like.Later, he proposed to go to a nightclub to drink and dance.Just as I was about to decline, the big client's face changed and he stared straight at me.I grudgingly said yes, thinking I hadn't gotten an order for 1 weeks.

After arriving at the nightclub, amidst the crazy music and the lights gradually dimmed, he pulled me into his arms involuntarily, holding me so tightly that I could even hear the other person breathing.He hugged me, danced, and muttered to himself, not knowing what to say.I don't know what to do, like a frightened bird, I can only passively let him manipulate me, hoping that this will end soon.

Of course I was very angry, I didn't expect him to be this kind of person at all - in the eyes of us low-level employees, he is a world-renowned business legend and a successful gentleman, but today, he gave me the impression that he was a man with malicious intentions. despicable man.However, when I thought about the huge benefits this order would bring me and the need to keep my job, I still chose to hold back.At that time, I thought, as long as he doesn't make more outrageous actions, I'll spend it with him like this.

Fortunately, he was just hugging me. Two hours later, he finally let me go, with a much lighter expression on his face.During this period of time, he may have been engaged in a fierce ideological struggle himself, and in the end he didn't go any further, bought me two more glasses of wine, and then sent me home.After a few days, I finally got my order.

Every time I think about it, I feel like it was a crucible.When facing a stranger whom you don't know anything about, how do you judge his behavior, figure out his mentality, and how to deal with his "maliciousness"?After listening to my story, maybe you will laugh at and despise me, but I can only choose this way.If this price is something I can bear, I will not choose to confront the client, and the same is true for my boss.

Maybe this is the different control principles for different groups of people?At least those of us in the insurance industry are used to it.None of us can afford to offend, and we will not teach anyone, even if he is a bad guy.Successfully getting the order is our greatest joy!

Case 29: Su Wenmei, a [-]-year-old business manager in a company in Shanghai

I am the manager of the company, and my daily job is to deal with different customers.Most of the company's clients are men, and I have to work my way around them.There are all kinds of people in this world. In my interactions with them, I will inevitably meet some people with malicious intentions—their "thoughts" are written on their faces, just like posting a card saying "I am a wolf." "Tag of.

For example, they deliberately put their hands on my lap when we were eating together, talked nonsense after a few glasses of wine, made very low-level jokes, or talked about their romantic affairs in front of our female colleagues in the business department to show off their wealth.If you don't like to hear it, or even have a sullen look on your face, they will take the opportunity to get angry, find fault with the company on the product, and trouble the company on the price.In the end, the trouble came to us subordinates.One of their bad intentions brought bad consequences to the employees of our business department, such as deduction of bonuses, fines or dismissal.

For these, I am not surprised, I don't take it as a big deal, and I don't think that I have been insulted.I clearly know that what I am engaged in is this job of communicating and using each other. If I am too cautious and sensitive, I may not be able to do anything, and I will not be able to complete my work smoothly.I know that anyone who wants to achieve a career has to pay a certain price. People have their own helplessness, and no one will be smooth sailing and get what they want.However, at the same time, I also believe that this price is definitely limited. I have my own principles and the bottom line of patience. I will not accommodate others in everything, or even lose my dignity.Therefore, within the scope of my patience, I will pretend to be deaf and dumb, treat them with tolerance, and will not lose control of my emotions, but if I can't bear it, I will definitely not compromise easily.

There is a client who has known me for two years and has cooperated with the company for a long time. He is a key client in the eyes of our boss.Usually, I have a good feeling for him, the relationship has been stable, and there is no bad impression.Sometimes, we also talk about topics other than work, and we have a certain intersection with each other.One day, our company was going to cooperate with him on a bigger project, and the boss asked me to be in charge of cooperating with him.For this reason, I attach great importance to it, and have made very sufficient preparatory work and spent a lot of effort.Finally, everything was ready, and we were left to sign the contract.

On the day I was about to sign the contract, I called him and asked if he could come over, and he replied simply: "Okay, you can come over now." When I came to his office, as soon as he entered, he suddenly After closing the door, he reached out and hugged me from behind, and despite my objection, kissed me forcibly, and pushed me onto the sofa.Immediately realizing what was about to happen, I fought back desperately and pushed him aside.

I was very angry at his behavior, which was completely beyond my expectation. How could a person who is usually polite and polite suddenly make such a move?I reprimanded him loudly: "Sir, you have betrayed my trust in you. I never thought that you are also a shameless person who takes advantage of women!"

He calmed down, and even though I was angry with him for a long time, I didn't say a word, and even showed regret.Then, he began to find reasons for himself.He said that his family lives in other provinces, and he hasn't been close to women for several months; and he likes me, so he can't help himself to wait for a bunch of excuses, and finally hopes that I will forgive him, understand him, give him a chance, and don't call the police. Otherwise, his big boss will definitely let him get out of the company, and his life will be over.

What he said was indeed the truth. He is a foreigner and has been developing his career in Shanghai all year round, but he has never enjoyed the warmth of his family.As a man, he has erotic needs, and he can't control his emotions for a while, and acts impulsively, which seems to be forgiven.I listened to what he said and expressed my understanding to him, but I just don't want similar things to happen again.He reassured, apologized, and I left his office.

What I didn't expect was that my vague worry became a reality-why did this happen on the day the contract was signed?Things may not be impulsive as he said, but planned for a long time.If I disagree, it is estimated that this contract will be difficult to sign, right?My rejection this time may threaten the signing of the contract.After walking out of his room, I started to worry, because the boss attached great importance to this cooperation and concentrated the best resources of the company. I have been looking forward to it for several months, and I also need this success to improve my career. career achievement.

Sure enough, by the time I contacted him again the next day, he had become ambiguous about the contract.When I asked him what he meant, he still asked me to go to him for an interview, and this time changed to a different place - not in his company, but in a hotel on the outskirts of the city.It was obvious that instead of giving up, he made unreasonable demands on me by signing the contract as a ploy.His attitude is clear: if he refuses, the contract will not be signed; if he does not refuse, I will become his prey, a victim of his malice.The former cannot be explained to the boss, and the latter violates my principles of life and exceeds the bottom line of my tolerance.

In this dilemma, what should I do?

From these two cases, we can see where is the source of other people's "bad intentions" towards you.First, these bad intentions are always based on your need for him.Second, these dark thoughts are often related to the interests of the other party, just like people fighting openly and secretly with colleagues in the office. Once the two parties have conflicts of interest, it will lead to mutual speculation and bad intentions between them.

From another perspective, there is no absolute fairness in reality, so put away your dissatisfaction and treat others' "maliciousness" with tolerance instead of confrontation and hostility.Treat yourself like a peaceful religious man, and then—no misfortune can touch your heart, no malice can touch your faith, can it?

To forge iron, you must first be strong yourself - your own ability is excellent, and you can do what others can't do.At work, your leader can't do without you.Therefore, for a strong person, there is no need to be afraid of other people's "bad intentions" towards you, because this is a world where ability speaks, and strength comes first.As long as you have strength, any malice will only bounce back in the end, hurting themselves severely.

Ms. Hess is an advertiser I met 3 years ago. She is only 29 years old, but she has already set the best record in the United States with annual sales of 7000 million US dollars.When I introduced her to colleagues in the company, everyone in the conference room applauded and gave her the highest courtesy.Attitude speaks for itself, and people know this is an ad man worthy of respect.

But what happened 7 years ago?Hess said: "When I first entered the industry 7 years ago, I knew almost nothing. At that time, I entered this industry with a burning dream, and I was eager to change my life through my own efforts. In my first week at work, I I was squeezed out by my colleagues and lost the important work that should have belonged to me. I proposed the plan and finished the creative copywriting, but the specific operation was taken away by others. In the second month, I was sexually harassed by a client , got drunk, and was thrown on the road, and I let the cold wind blow and vomit all the way for 2 miles before I found a hotel where I could stay."

"So, how did you face it?"

Hess shrugged: "I didn't make any statement. I neither expressed resistance nor approval to all these encounters. I clearly know that this world only believes in strength, never in tears or complaints. Of course, everyone It is their right to shed their tears, vent their grievances, and make everyone else unhappy if they are not happy, but it is also the right of the strong to kick them out of the room, isn't it? Any kind of rule is It was made by the strong, and I only believe in this. So, my way of coping is to make myself stronger and stronger."

(End of this chapter)