just passing by you

Chapter 31 Love has traces (1)

This love, which was deliberately forgotten by themselves, is still recorded by the years; although the image is blurred and the plot is fragmented, it still lies peacefully in a corner, waiting for the two hearts who loved each other, When looking back, I can still remember that they had such a beautiful and innocent time holding hands in the chaotic past.

She and him met in a play.It was a winter many years ago. After graduating from an art school, she had nowhere to go in Beijing, so she had to move to various production crews, and a large group of young people drifting north to fight for the monthly room and meal expenses. Role.Because of her delicate appearance, she often has the opportunity to play some maids and maids.And he is also often mixed in the crew, so he can be considered handy as a passer-by and a bandit soldier.They gradually got to know each other like this, and when there was an opportunity to recruit extras, he was often the first to run to tell her.That year in Beijing was extremely cold, but because of his friendship, the city instantly became warm and soft in her heart.

He has been in the crew all year round, and he is used to eating instant noodles and drinking cold water. Because of his strong body, he doesn't feel so tired even though he needs to travel to several places every day.It's just that she was born weak, so when a snowstorm hit, she fell ill all of a sudden.He wanted to ask for leave for her, but the crew disagreed, saying that he couldn't miss a wonderful snow scene just because of her, a little girl.She struggled to get to the filming location, changed into a thin costume, and waited tremblingly for the director to start filming.It was a scene where the maid was slapped because she offended his wife with a single sentence.At first, because of the fake beating, the expression on her face was always unable to meet the director's requirements.Later, the director got anxious and ordered Zhen to slap him.She knew that for the sake of art, many actors have paid more than this, so she endured it silently.

It's just that the actor who played the wife this time seemed to be quite close to each other. After two fights, he couldn't satisfy the director.Her head was already dizzy due to the fever, and she knew that if she did it again, she might fall to the ground and be unable to get up.At that moment, she suddenly felt sentimental. She didn't know when this life of running for hundreds of dollars would end, and when would the longing for the future of being the protagonist come?As he was secretly sad, he came over suddenly, bowed to the actor who played the wife, and then said in a low voice: Please, you must have acted this time, and play it as lightly as possible, okay?The actor glanced at him a little arrogantly, and said: "It was her who hit her, and she was also hurt. What are you worrying about?"Isn't that what extras do to make money?His face suddenly turned red.On the side, she thought that he was being ridiculed, felt aggrieved, and wanted to act impulsively, so she came to stop him.Instead, he uttered a sentence very clearly: She was the one who hit her, but it was me who hurt her, and moreover, it was a heartache that you wouldn't understand.

This sentence has made her feel at ease since then in this bustling but cold city.Although I still live in a dark and damp basement, I still eat plain water instant noodles, and the way back is still a jingling bicycle.However, because of him, everything is like a pool of water blown by the spring breeze, clear, clear, and filled with infinite vitality.He learned to use bamboo strips and candles to make lamps in period films, and then hung them all over her room.He said that with these bright lamps, her heart would not feel desolate in the dark basement.Every night, when he sent her back, he always had to help her light up all the lamps in the room one by one, and only then would he leave in peace amidst the jumping and flickering sparks.The instant noodles, which were already tired of eating, became like that rich and delicious delicacy because of the happiness of two people fighting head to head.After filming every day, he rode his jingling "BMW" and drove her, swimming freely like a fish among the off-duty crowd.From time to time, someone would exclaim in surprise at them who were flying like lightning.She smiled at the passer-by with a little guilt, then leaned gently on his back, closed her eyes slightly, listened to the wind in her ears, and rushed over with the budding happiness.

She thought she would go on like this forever, just like the only scene where she and him appeared in the camera at the same time: the two looked back at the bombed home, and then held hands and continued on without hesitation.But life is still like a flower tree that no one has pruned. Outside the main trunk, there are more miscellaneous branches and more coquettish flowers.Her intelligence quickly attracted the attention of a film and television company and asked her to sign a contract.She hesitated for a long time, but finally went.At that time, he was holding the information of the two of them, looking for opportunities among various crews like a salesman; when he heard the news that she was about to sign a contract, his heart was blank for a moment, but then he laughed and said, our spring , is finally coming.

Since then, her life has really been like the plants in spring, when a plentiful rain falls, the green mountains and wilds are spread out in one fell swoop.Although she is still playing some dispensable supporting roles, a stable job, gradually accumulated contacts, and more and more opportunities still make her feel happy in her heart, and in front of him, she has a little bit of love. The pride and pride that I didn't realize.She no longer had to beg for help in order to compete for the role of a maid who didn't even have a line, and was pushed around like picking oranges.She didn't need to rush to buy instant noodles to eat in a hurry.She can even be like those white-collar workers with decent jobs. After get off work, she is not in a hurry to go home, but invites three or five friends to drink coffee or go shopping.After all, she is a smart and smart woman, but within half a year, she knew how to use those newly-acquainted friends to realize a life that only appeared in dreams in the past.

And he seemed to be floating rootless like duckweed, following a group of old women or strong men every day, waiting for the crew to pick them.Once when she had nothing to do, she went to film with him, and he played an unknown soldier who was shot and died.Seeing him lying in a pile of "killed" soldiers in blood-stained clothes, she originally thought it was funny and wanted to laugh, but for some reason, when she saw an officer walking over indifferently and kicking him, she Her heart was suddenly gripped by an inexplicable sadness.She thought, is life doomed, and she can only let him, whom she likes, be humbled into a soldier without life or dignity?If this is the case, then who will give her the stable life she wants?

She didn't tell him the troubles accumulated in her heart, besides, they were so busy with each other that they didn't have time to sort out those trivial emotions.In this windy and sand-ravaged city of Beijing, they finally dried up slowly, until at the end, they couldn't even remember that the love affair hanging outside the window was once like an autumn fruit, plump, moist, and extremely fragrant.

Naturally, as outsiders predicted, they broke up peacefully because of the changes in their lives.He continued to be a wandering extra, playing one role after another as insignificant and helpless as himself.As for her, she took this opportunity to abandon her career as an actor, which was not going to improve much, and switch to a more stable behind-the-scenes job.After that, they both experienced many things. She got married and had children, and he also worked hard to find a more secure life for a woman.

She thought that this difficult love had disappeared without a trace in the years, until one day, when she sorted out the old things, she saw the disc that was the only time that she and him appeared in the camera at the same time.She was curious for a while, so she let it go to watch.A lot of scratches made this movie intermittent, and she was impatient, "fast forward" to the end, and then saw that scene: she and him, looking back at the home burned by the war, and then turned their heads , hold hands and move on.The moment he turned his head, the disc stopped again.On the screen, there were his sad eyes, such vivid reluctance and attachment, which instantly hit her heart.

She finally understood that this love that they had deliberately forgotten was still recorded by the years; although the image was blurred and the plot was fragmented, it was still lying in a corner, waiting for the lover who loved each other When the two hearts look back, they can still remember that they had such beautiful and innocent years of holding hands in the complicated and chaotic past.

If I'm down, please don't tell me.

Xin Xiaohan was the proudest girl in our middle school class.Of course she has the capital to show off and is sought after by boys, her singing voice is mellow, her writing is clear, her appearance is beautiful, and she knows how to lead the fashion of dressing, which is almost considered avant-garde in our little closed town back then.No girl would dare to take off her heavy and dull cotton-padded clothes and only wear a bright and eye-catching sweater when doing exercises for the sake of beauty in the freezing cold winter.And spring has just shrunk out one foot, Xin Xiaohan has already put on a beautiful cotton white dress, and a piece of warm jade on her chest, tied with a thin red silk thread, when walking, she followed her evenly Breathing, moving slightly, with a touch of sexy charm, looking closely, it has the smell of a little woman.

In fact, in the eyes of girls, Xin Xiaohan, who is two years older than us, has a charming and coquettish charm.This kind of feeling prevents us from getting close to her forever. We can only see her wearing bright clothes from a distance, walking her own way unrestrainedly under the sight blowing slowly like the wind.As for those ugly but unwilling boys, apart from writing some love letters that she would not even read, they can only greet her humblely in their dreams, and see if the coldness on her face was rejected that day. The sunlight melted silently.Even though it's as cold as ice, Xin Xiaohan's scandals still come and go, and come and go.In almost every puppy love incident that caused a stir in the whole school, the heroine, without exception, would be Xin Xiaohan.Every time we talk about this kind of story, we feel like a distant and gorgeous movie, with beautiful pictures. When the curtain ends, in addition to bringing us winding dreams, it is more full of sadness and loss.

In the last year before graduating from high school, Xin Xiaohan once again left a colorful mark on our memory.She was the top science student in the previous class. One year after graduation, she still couldn't forget Xin Xiaohan, skipping classes again and again to find her.He stood in the corridor next to our classroom and begged for a whole week, but Xin Xiaohan stubbornly refused to say a word to him.In the end, the brother who made all our junior girls go crazy, when Xin Xiaohan walked to the door of the classroom again, he stretched out his arms and stopped her.They all thought that Xin Xiaohan would lose his temper at him in the midst of crowds watching and ambiguous booing, but never thought that she just gave him a sideways glance indifferently, then lowered her head, and entered the classroom from under his arms.Xin Xiaohan, she lowered her head, but let everyone see her natural superiority and arrogance in the endless love.And this kind of disdain and contempt, more than any romance and style, makes us young and plain little girls feel sharp pain and sentimentality.

(End of this chapter)