just passing by you

Chapter 32 Love has traces (2)

In this way, with a suppressed inferiority complex, he was admitted to the university, and deliberately stopped asking himself about everything about Xin Xiaohan.Because, what else can she have besides the happiness that we can't reach?However, we who are young and frivolous do not need anyone's beauty to cruelly explain ourselves who have been neglected or forgotten by love.A few years later, those of us have all started to step into society. In the ups and downs, ups and downs, we gradually fade away the fantasy and simplicity of youth, knowing that life is so practical that we cannot tolerate the slightest arrogance or arrogance; life is forever In other places, all we can do is to cover our secular heart with the same gorgeous and vain robes in the brilliance of others.And Xin Xiaohan, at this time, once again broke into the life that we need to compete in order to get comfort.

After graduating from high school, Xin Xiaohan, who only studied in a junior college, did not want to venture outside, so he followed the arrangement of his parents and returned to our small town to become an ordinary clerk.Her love is still blooming and swaying.In the end, under the coercion of her parents, she married a wealthy businessman in a small town.After only being a businessman's wife for two years, Xin Xiaohan quickly divorced.Just because, at an alumni gathering, she met the number one scholar in science who pursued her so hard.At that time, he was already a department manager of a company in Shanghai. After losing the recklessness and flashiness of his youth, he actually had a maturity and wisdom that many men of his age could not compare with.Like a ginkgo fruit, the experience of wind and rain in the past has finally achieved today's fragrance, so that those women who once ignored him need to look up to see his youth.Finally, Xin Xiaohan couldn't resist his radiant charm, boldly ended his dull marriage, and then began to approach his accomplished suitor.

However, Xin Xiaohan forgot how mercilessly she hurt his self-esteem when she was the most beautiful.Now, he is very beautiful, but she, in his eyes, is just a divorced faded woman in a small town.Compared with the fresher and fuller flowers, her decadence is already in sight.Therefore, even if she ran to Shanghai to find him again and again, he would no longer have the love and passion of the past.Xin Xiaohan, this rose with thorns that no one dares to pick, even if he pulled out the thorns one by one, he finally lost the previous strong fragrance.

That year, I don't know if it was because of Xin Xiaohan, we suddenly eagerly longed for a party.The party was held in a higher-end hotel in the small town.The classmate who organized the party called Xin Xiaohan many times after all of us ordered him to come.We used to be unable to know exactly what kind of time concept ten years was; it was Xin Xiaohan who made us suddenly understand that ten years was to transform a careless girl into a slightly fat, rough-skinned and The process of a haggard woman.During that meal, many students who were overshadowed by Xin Xiaohan all ate with great interest, as if a stone in their hearts was instantly moved away, breathing was unimpeded at once, and the flowers of happiness also bloomed proudly .

In the interval between us clamoring for a group photo, Xin Xiaohan walked away silently.It was in front of a stall selling trinkets that I met her again.She bent over and carefully selected those dusty silk scarves and bracelets.I walked over suddenly, pulled off a lavender silk scarf and handed it to her, and said softly: "Xiaohan, you will look beautiful wearing this one."Xin Xiaohan, who once represented my highest dream for a woman when I was young, finally knelt down and cried loudly in these words.

I know that Xin Xiaohan's cry is to let everyone at the party know that if she is down and out, please don't tell her.However, we are still so cruel, revealing our naked and embarrassing life to her like this.

How can I pay back the loneliness that I owe you.

When we were in high school, we were taught English by a teacher named Lin Zhi.It is almost a great honor to be his student.He was only 35 years old at the time, he was cool-looking, and his lectures were even more exciting.Students from other schools often come to listen to his classes.Even if I can only stand by the window in the corridor and listen to every word for 40 minutes, I am willing.When he was 30 years old, he became an excellent teacher in the province. In ten years, the English college entrance examination scores of each graduate must be far ahead in the city and even the province.

Such an excellent teacher, of course we like and admire infinitely.Moreover, when we talk to students from other schools, we often have a sense of pride and complacency that cannot be concealed. It seems that we can be disciples under such a perfect teacher, and even we ourselves are shone by his light to be superior to others. .The boys in our class all liked to imitate his way of walking, with their heads held high, their faces full of confidence and joy, and their steps steady and firm; Pat your shoulder brimmingly, and give you a warm encouragement and greeting.The girls, on the other hand, are almost in love with him. They not only record their love for him in their diaries and articles, but even after he asks questions about them in class, they will be jealous of each other.Sometimes we would joke with Teacher Lin Zhi, saying that you have almost become a public lover!Lin Zhi always laughed and said: Then you are very happy, you have a popular lover to like, unlike me, I don't even have an underground lover.

We all just thought it was a joke of his, and we didn't take it seriously.Because he must have already married, although we have never seen his wife and children, but occasionally in the vegetable market in front of the school, we will still be very happy to see him come back with a large bundle of fresh and tender green vegetables. Guess with certainty that he must have a happy family, otherwise, how could his face be full of happiness and satisfaction?Later, I was surprised to hear from a well-informed classmate that Lin Zhi, who is already middle-aged, not only has no children, but also his wife is half-paralyzed!Such news, for our group of students who admired him infinitely, what filled our hearts was nothing but admiration and emotion.We never thought about what this kind of life meant to Lin Zhi.We only know that the image of Teacher Lin Zhi is more noble in our hearts because of this paralyzed woman.

At the beginning of the second semester of the second year of high school, news of Lin Zhi having an affair quickly spread throughout the school.It is said that she is a young and beautiful TV hostess, after evening self-study, some students will see Lin Zhi and her walking on the road hand in hand, very intimate.When the light came on at night, Lin Zhi's face was filled with sweetness and tenderness like first love.The hostess was dressed very enchantingly, like a gorgeous night rose, Lin Zhi's passion poured out, making her petals bloom to the most beautiful every day.

This news, like a bomb, blew up in our class.After the smoke and dust passed, we found that our faces were covered with dust of humiliation.In our hearts, Lin Zhi is no longer as tall as he used to be, and he is almost humble!We must stop Lin Zhi's extramarital affair and let him become our pride again, otherwise, not only himself but us innocent students will be ridiculed.Thinking this way, we also started to implement our plan.

It was the study committee member who started the speech first. In the routine 5-minute speech of the English class, she clearly and unmistakably expressed the ridicule we suffered from the students in the foreign class and the anger caused by it in English.Lin Zhi stood at the door of the classroom. Several times, I saw him pushing the door and going out.But he still insisted on listening to the speech, and then in the concluding remarks of the study committee, which was almost like a warning, he walked up to the podium with a smile, and said with difficulty: Yes, a teacher should be a model for others, and should be something that students can be proud of. It should be a good example, and you should have noble words and deeds, but...Lin Zhi finally stopped when he looked at the students who no longer respected him in the audience.

Lin Zhi only had fewer dates with that hostess, but the fact that the two were still together did not change.Occasionally when we saw Lin Zhi reluctantly bid farewell to the hostess under the dim street lights, we would suddenly hate him.No one came to listen to his class anymore, but our group of students would often be stopped and gleefully asked about Lin Zhi's extramarital affairs.Lin Zhi, who originally filled us with glory, became a disgrace to our whole class just like that.

We began to publicly snub Lin Zhi.Seeing him, he no longer greeted him, but walked away coldly with his head held high, without even looking at him.The girls no longer surrounded him after class, but deliberately and loudly discussed a star with both virtue and skill.Sometimes in class, there are even bold boys, who often refuse to answer his questions.In our collective isolation, Lin Zhi's face moistened by love finally began to show a trace of melancholy.

We never met Lin Zhi's wife, but we thought that she must be grateful to us.The hard work of all our students for nearly a year finally brought Lin Zhi's extramarital affair to a hasty end.I heard that it was Lin Zhi who proposed it. That woman even came to the school to look for Lin Zhi, but he hid himself and refused to see her again.Someone once saw the hostess crying and walking out of the school gate.The classmate said that for some reason, he suddenly felt a little sad in her tears.

The immaculate Lin Zhi is back with us and his paralyzed wife.It was close to the college entrance examination at that time, and we began to prepare for the college entrance examination with all our strength under his leadership.During the college entrance examination, our English class took the first place in the city.It was only in those few days that we saw Lin Zhi after the breakup and smiled a little bit.It was just a little bit, some students thanked him, but he found a reason and avoided it.

In ten years, our group of students have all gone to work, and we have a happy family, and we have begun to truly understand how important a beautiful love is to a person.It can make a person, and when it is lost, it can completely destroy a person.

However, it was too late.Lin Zhi, who has warmed our memory, is 45 years old, and the chalk dust of ten years has drifted down, whitening most of his hair.His wife died of a serious illness not long ago.It is said that when she was leaving, she had no affection for Lin Zhi.Their combination was only due to the pressure of their parents.She never liked him. Her paralysis was caused by a car accident when she eloped with the person she liked.After that, they have been living in pain.She recalled her dead lover, and Lin Zhi, who we are proud of, gave all his heart to his students.But we, because of our unrevealable selfishness, cruelly killed the love he had devoted himself to.

Lin Zhi is still working as a teacher in our middle school, but, except for us, no one knows how helpless and lonely he is in his heart that lacks love.And no one knows what kind of conscience condemnation we will endure for the love we owe him.

(End of this chapter)