foster husband

Chapter 188
Everyone has a dream, even if my past and present are so unbearable, I want to embrace my dream and live.

——I am Zhu Wuya
The goose feather snow is falling all over the sky, and I am under this white snow.

The snow is so white and so cold, I think I'm going to die, there are many things that I can't figure out after thinking about it for a long time, perhaps because of the reflection of the light, they jumped into my heart one by one.

Before I was called Zhu Wuya, there was actually another name called...Weidan.

This is really surprising.

Before I had time to digest the surprise in my heart, my mind had already climbed up, various memories of Wei Dan and Zhu Wuya.

It was March in the spring of that year, and I was born in the Cihui Palace where every corner of the room was filled with gold, silver and jade.

It is said that besides asking my father which concubine's bedroom the emperor will spend the night in, what my mother cares most about is her gold, silver and jade articles, as if only in this way can she fill every empty and lonely night.

Seven days after I was born, the queen mother finally begged for a name for me when my father was sober.

Shan—it's not that my father wants me to live a simple and pure life, but he is saying "Why is it only you?"

It can be seen that he dislikes me and the queen mother.

Eight years later, no matter how reluctant my father was, I was still registered as the crown prince.This is the first time I know that even the emperor sometimes fails to fulfill his wishes sincerely.

What needs to be mentioned is that besides me, my father has four sons.

The eldest brother is Wei Liang who is five years older than me and the same age as my elder sister.Later, in the year when I was about to ascend the throne, I died in the strange fire in Prince Liang's Mansion.

I heard that it was my mother who did it.

Father almost strangled her to death because of this, but he also ruined his body because of it.

I always feel that such a result is actually the ultimate goal of the queen mother harming Wei Liang.

Six months after the eldest brother passed away, the father was bedridden for half a year, but he still couldn't escape the bad luck of his death.

I became emperor when I was only 12 years old.I know that my mother has paid a lot for my ascension to the throne, and even the gold, silver and jade objects that blocked the road in the Cihui Palace are scattered away little by little.

That is why, no matter what kind of unclean woman my mother is, as a son, I can only hide my resentment in my heart.

But all of that tortured my heart all the time.

I have nowhere to vent, I can only turn my resentment into hostility.

Killing those who I don't like.

The first one to suffer was my second brother, Wei Jun.

He is my father's most beloved son.But what's the use of having the emperor's love!Wanting to rely on an old and sick emperor to launch a palace coup that affects the whole body is simply a dream.

One month after my father passed away, I collected [-] weapons in Wei Jun's mansion, and let Wei Jun go back to the west.

Followed by the old four Weiping, only three months younger than me.The old five Weilin and Weiping are twins.

When I was drunk, I threw the two newly married daughter-in-laws to the guards.Regardless of whether they really dare not complain, how can I keep them in this world?

In the autumn hunt in the second year after I ascended the throne, Wei Ping was stabbed to death, and the "murderer" was Wei Lin.Of course, this is just a play full of loopholes arranged by me.

It's not that I don't have a better plan to kill them, but I don't want to use it. There is no reason. All I do is to make myself happy.

I killed all those brothers who would make me sleepless, for me, or for all the royal people, what brothers are just doomed.

Those brothers of mine thought that I was young, that I hadn't secured the throne yet, that I would not be courageous, and would never dare to act rashly, but what did I have to be afraid of?
If I hadn't acted first, I would not have been their doom, they would have been my doom.

It wasn't until I became Zhu Wuya that I realized the truth that a person's doom is planted early, and it corresponds to your psychology. To put it bluntly, doom is just the demon in your heart.

When did the magic root grow in my heart?

Maybe it was when I knew that my mother had more than me and sister Huang.

There are countless women in the harem, but only one real man.

Even the Queen is no exception.

What's more, the relationship between my mother and queen and father's emperor cannot be described with ten "bad" words.

The emperor father would not step into the Cihui Palace for many years, and the queen mother's daily pastime was to make things difficult for those favored concubines.Even I was just a bad strategy that my mother had to make in order to stabilize the heir - a calculation.

In fact, according to the original intention of the father, the queen can't do nothing, and it is enough to have a princess.

Therefore, my elder sister is different from me, she was doted on by my father from birth.

The emperor's favor is like this, you are either someone he has to use, or someone who won't affect the overall situation even if you are favored.

Later, using a "loved" eldest princess to trap the entire Lin family is probably a beautiful thing that even my royal father could not have imagined.Of course, until his death, he never imagined that the Wei family's dynasty would still be destroyed by the Lin family.

This is royal ugliness.The so-called couples are nothing more than betrayal and calculation.Some of the so-called father and son are just using and defending against each other.

Speaking of which, the simplest person in my family is my eldest sister, and the most powerful is my queen mother. My father is just a fool.

The eldest sister's innocence doesn't mean that she doesn't know how to calculate, but that she values ​​family affection more.

And the queen mother is powerful, but even the emperor has been fooled.

Fornication with others, dark knot in the fetus.Nine months pregnant, he treated himself cruelly, making himself pale and emaciated.In the last two months, she was bedridden with illness and gave birth to a child in Cihui Palace.

If it hadn't been revealed when the child was secretly transported out of the palace, the father would still have been kept in the dark.

The confidante maids and guards around the queen mother became scapegoats, but the emperor still couldn't let go, so he ordered the child to be castrated and became the youngest eunuch in the palace.

I don't know if my mother cried bitterly because of that child. I only know that my mother sometimes looks at me with hatred in her eyes. She sheltered and protected me in the deep palace, but she never said a word to me, let alone Will not teach me the truth of life.

My mania and violence seem to have nothing to do with her.

There is also the elder sister's marriage, she clearly said in private that "the Lin family is not kind", but when my father asked about it, she smiled lightly and said "yes".

I think this is the queen mother's revenge on the emperor father. This is the psychology that arose when I knew the existence of that child when I was ten years old.

At that time, he had long since escaped the fate of being bullied and became my elder sister's confidant.

After the death of my mother, Liu Zheng was a half-brother of my elder sister and I, so he died in my stomach.

What is there to say?After all, it is not a very honorable thing for a biological mother to be unclean, on the contrary it is a shame.After I ascended the throne, I vowed not to meet her in my life, and even if she died, I would never say anything about her again.

And that Liu Zheng, who is two years older than me, is my brother anyway.I have done all kinds of bad things in my life, but I have rarely done good things. After all the calculations, there is only one thing.

That's how people are. Liu Zheng doesn't have so much resentment and resentment if he doesn't know about the past. It's better to live a simpler life.

After all, one's origin cannot be chosen.

I think, given a choice, he would rather be a beggar's child than my mother's child, right?
Anyway, if I could choose my origin, I hope my surname is not Wei.Whether I was born in a family of traffickers or pawns, or a family of slaves and prostitutes, as long as my surname is not Wei, my wish is nothing more than that.

As a descendant of the Wei family, as an emperor, not only me, but even my father is unqualified.

I don't know if my father's lifelong ambition is to be a good emperor. Anyway, I have been determined to win the throne from the beginning, but I feel that it is just a plaything of mine.

Expecting a child whose father doesn’t care about his mother to carry forward the family’s business, I don’t know if others will be particularly ambitious and hardworking. Anyway, my choice-is just to destroy everything that people care about most and everything that I don’t have .

This is the difference between me and my father. The stupid decisions he made were because he was stupid, and the decisions I made that later led to the destruction of the Wei family dynasty were because I was happy.

Is there any king in the world? When I was young, I thought that as long as I ascended the throne, everything in this world would be mine.I thought this way for a long time, until my elder sister married Lin Qingluan.

At that time, I realized that even if I became the emperor, many things in this world would not be mine.

Like my elder sister.

After she got married, although she was still my eldest sister, I always felt that it was different from before.

I grew up with my eldest sister. My father and mother never regarded me in their eyes. This is something I knew after I survived a serious illness when I was five years old.My only relative is my elder sister. I am used to seeing me in her eyes, but I can't bear the presence of others in her eyes.

For this reason, on the day she got married, I hid and cried for a whole day.

Then Lin Qingluan became one of the people I hate the most after my father and mother.

After the death of my mother, when I completely grasped the government affairs, I tried every means to get my eldest sister out of the Lin family.

I think that's the only way, the elder sister is my elder sister.

As for the consequences... I will only act arbitrarily, so I won't think about those meaningless things.

Lin Qingluan's death was when he faked his death.

I wanted to bring my eldest sister into the palace several times, but I just thought about it.

I don't care what other people say, but even if Eldest Sister is ashamed, she still doesn't want to leave the Eldest Princess Mansion where she and Lin Qingluan lived together.

I hate that there are memories of Changjie and him everywhere, so I specially selected countless beautiful men and wanted them to erase those memories.

Later, when Lin Qingluan raised his troops, my worry was not that I would not be able to be the emperor, but that my elder sister and him would be together again.

I had trouble sleeping and eating for half a month, and I got angry that day and wanted to burn all the books in the palace, and accidentally found the bamboo slips that recorded the secret of Jiuyunding.

Legend has it that the Jiuyun Ding appeared in a ground crack 500 years ago, and a high mountain in Wuxiang appeared together with the Jiuyun Ding.That mountain was originally called Jiuding Mountain. It was originally a low mountain that even children could climb, but after the ground cracked, it turned into a towering mountain with snow all the year round and nine peaks reaching into the sky.

The bamboo slips also say that there are eight tripods buried at the foot of Jiuding Mountain according to the eight gates of Qimen Dunjia Zhongxiu, Sheng, Hurt, Du, Jing, Death, Surprise, and Opening. At the top of the mountain, fill the cauldron with the blood of nine men who were born on the same day, the same year, and the fate can be changed, and even everything that you want to change can be changed.

Therefore, when Lin Qingluan was about to attack Luoyang, I managed to find nine men who were born in the same year, the same month, and the same day as me, and nine men who were born in the same year, the same month, and the same day as my elder sister. The eldest sister rushed to Jiuding Mountain with her men and horses and Jiuyun Ding in a hurry.

I am looking forward to changing my destiny, not because of the soon-to-be-lost throne. I may not be the emperor, but I must be with my elder sister.

I succeeded in burying the blood-filled Jiuyun Ding on the highest peak of Jiuding Mountain, but I met Lin Cong at the foot of the mountain and died of him.

Later, I became Zhu Wuya, a strange man who was born and grew up in the mountains.

God always fulfills your wish, but at the same time, he does not forget to plant a foreshadowing for you to cry bitterly.

When I became Zhu Wuya, he had already become a witch doctor.

My understanding of witch doctors is to use medicine well, not only for others, but also for myself.

Zhu Wuya not only damaged his body by taking drugs, but also damaged his head.

So when I came back to life, I didn't know who I was.

Just imagine, if I knew who I used to be, how could I do such stupid things for the throne.

I lost that throne in the first place, and I don't care at all.

God is always so irritating. What I didn't pay attention to in my previous life has become the goal of my life. It's really sad and ridiculous to think about it.

This may be God's punishment for me, for my waywardness.

Even if I didn't have much interest in the throne in the past, I can't hold back the management of Zhu Wuya's group for several generations.

I couldn't think of myself, so I completely became him, and I could only follow his arranged life trajectory step by step.

During this period, I was particularly concerned about the news about Pei's residence.

It's as if it was preordained somewhere, even if I don't remember that I was Wei Dan, I can still sense where the elder sister is.

The acting king is Lin Qingluan, this is something I only found out after I unraveled the mystery of the magic weapon.

Back then, when Lin Qingluan extended his life for the acting king, it was his own life that was extended.One soul has two functions, one is strong and the other is weak, this is a preordained thing.

At first, I couldn't believe it was true. After all, such a thing as using a weapon to renew one's life has never been successful in the clan.

However, now I think that if there is no Jiuyunding, even if I can't remember who I used to be, I won't believe in the secret of reincarnation passed down from generation to generation by Zhu Wuya.

It is because I have great expectations for this matter that I believe it is true without hesitation.

Later, I discovered Pei Jinyu's secret.

At first, she was just skeptical, because her familiarity with Princess Wei's mansion was really suspicious.Later, it was intuition, without any solid evidence, but felt that she was the reincarnation of Princess Wei, and was very surprised by it.

As for the reason for the surprise, it was something that I didn't understand after much deliberation at the time.

For a long time, I couldn't figure out what kind of feelings I had for my elder sister.

When I was still Wei Dan, I once confide my depression to the imperial doctor Zhang Wendao when I was drunk.

I told him I was sick.

I still remember that fat and stupid Zhang Wenwen, kneeling up to me, trying to get my pulse.

In fact, what is wrong with me? It's just a heart disease.

I want my elder sister to be only my elder sister. In fact, my elder sister is indeed my elder sister, but she is still someone else's wife.

Even I myself became someone else's husband in the end.

But I'm just not happy.

No one can tell me why.

Even if the queen mother is alive, even if she is willing to listen to my thoughts, she will only smile coldly, showing that she is not ashamed of me.

I also feel that I am quite shameful. Could it be that I have a male-female love for my elder sister?

I don't think I should be so inferior to a beast, or I just prefer other people's wives.

To this end, I have made many attempts, such as taking other people's wives, taking plump women... In short, I have done all kinds of bad things, but I only have more and more terrifying loneliness in my heart.

Like, right now I'm lying in the snow.

The snow is very cold, but it is not as cold as the coolness in my heart.

I am a bad person, no matter in my previous life or in this life, I have the blood of many people on my hands.

I don't care how unbearable my past and present are, I still hope that if I have my elder sister by my side...

Only then did I realize that all I wanted was companionship.

Just like when I was young, she held me in her arms and hummed a simple tune.I don't need to be favored by my father and mother, as long as I have my elder sister.

Turns out I just never wanted to grow up.

But how can someone never grow up?

I was a bad guy, dying silently in the snow.

(End of this chapter)