Men love such a woman: 12 lessons a happy woman must take

Chapter 10 A little selfish, a woman should do what she likes (1)
In modern society, there is a kind of woman who is self-centered.Pursue self, nature, freedom, ease, get calm, lose calm.In their eyes, there is nothing important in the world. What you say can be ignored, and the person you love can be changed again. Why bother to be true to yourself, as long as you are happy.Such a woman looks a little "selfish" and a little "bad".But they live a happy and nourishing life, do not live in the gazes and comments of others, and do it chicly: go their own way, and drive if others want to drive!

Delicate and pitiful, no one is sympathetic, only happy beauties attract people's love

Lin Daiyu in "A Dream of Red Mansions", among the many sisters in the Jia family, is at the top level in terms of appearance and talent.But such a beautiful woman has a small imperfection in her character-sentimental.This makes her overly sensitive to everything around her. A careless remark from others will cause her to think about it for a long time;Such a woman, no matter how beautiful she is, is no match for the torment of reality, and will eventually die with hatred, her beauty unlucky.

Apart from Jia Baoyu, who is "unworldly", how many people in Jia's mansion, a place full of filth, really feel pity for sister Lin who has a rough life experience?
In real society, the situation of "Sister Lin" is even more difficult.If someone sighs and sighs all day long, even when a leaf falls, he has to feel sad. Such a person may be respected and regarded as a mental illness.There is a popular saying on the Internet that satirizes this kind of people, which is called "weeping at the flowers and convulsing the moon".

But there are still many women who regard "weakness" as the embodiment of "beauty", and interpret Sister Lin's morbidity, melancholy, and bitterness as femininity.This kind of woman is always sentimental, always staring at the three-acre land under her feet, as if she is the center of the whole world, if she is pessimistic and frustrated, the whole world really has no joy to find.Such a woman self-righteously regards life as a disaster, even though God saves all living beings.But he couldn't lead her out of the sea of ​​suffering.This kind of woman seems to be born with only sorrow and lamentation, no joy and joy.If a man is infatuated with such a woman, he will inevitably step into a world of depression, misery and sorrow.

You know, women tend to grow old if they are frowning all day long.But after traces of melancholy climb up the face, sentimentality will not have the so-called "beautiful" effect, at most it will be an ugly look of "imitation".

Besides, are there really so many sentimental things in life?
Xiaolan is a talented student in the Chinese Department of a prestigious university.After graduation, I worked as an editor in a publishing house, and my work went smoothly.But she is a literary youth in her heart, and she often published some articles when she was in college, and sometimes a single rain can cause her great sorrow.At work, she continued this style, moaning and moaning over trivial matters all day long.With a frowning face, there is always a cloud of cloud around her, which makes her colleagues stay away. Although she is very capable, it is not a good feeling to be isolated in the unit, so Xiaolan's sentimentality is even more serious.At last.She herself could not bear the pain of being isolated by others, so she resigned.

Liu Ying works in a foreign company, her salary is good, she gets along well with her colleagues, and has a handsome boyfriend. The relationship between the two is stable.The friends around are envious, why all the good things are taken by Liu Ying, she is really a happy girl.Yes, career and love have both harvests, and everyone will feel very happy and happy if they are replaced.However, Liu Ying often complains to the people around her how annoying she is.For example, "I invite my boyfriend to drink coffee, but I am ruthlessly rejected, annoying!" "The computer has a virus, and the file cannot be opened, annoying!" "The company does not have a salary increase, but I am the first one to deduct bonuses, annoying!" "Li Xiaopang always chats with me on QQ, how can I have so much free time to chat with him? It's so annoying!" In fact, what she is bothered about is trivial matters.

Just imagine, a girl who is frowning all the time, a girl who yells "annoyance" every day, even if she has a beautiful appearance, can she still talk about beauty and happiness?

Real life is not art, there are not too many joys and sorrows, ordinary life is life.There may be many bumps and bumps and some small troubles. We don't need to magnify these small problems to show our weak beauty.Being sentimental like Xiaolan and passing on her pessimistic emotions to everyone will only lead to being rejected by others and making her life uncomfortable.

In this modern society, all people around us are busy, and this kind of busyness is an inexplicable busyness, but many people don't know why they are busy. Perhaps, we are worried about the competition. Under the pressure, you will lose your inner sense of security, so pessimistic sighs arise spontaneously.

We might as well learn from "bad" women, be more generous, and learn to smile when things happen.All will disappear.

There are few things more touching than a sunny smile.A smile has a magical power, she can dissolve the ice between people, at the same time, a smile is also a symbol of your physical and mental health and happiness in life.

"Bad" women remind female friends, don't let sorrow climb up your face, it will add horrible wrinkles prematurely, and make your heart gradually tired.It is very simple to be more happy. Smile more, treat others and yourself, simply move the corners of your mouth, and a natural arc will fully carry your happiness.

To be loved by others, you must first love yourself
Women live for love, and women live for love even more. When love comes, women always devote themselves wholeheartedly, even if they are "moths to the flame".However, love has its own logic, and it doesn't mean that the more you give, the better.

Qingqing failed the college entrance examination when she was 18 years old, so she opened a flower and gift shop in her hometown. Because of her friendly hospitality and good management, the small shop business is booming.Later she got married, and her husband was her high school classmate, a talented wit. Although he went to university in other places for four years, he always had a soft spot for her.

After marriage, Qingqing moved to other places with her husband. She still runs a flower shop, while her husband works in a foreign-funded enterprise. Due to his outstanding ability, his income is getting higher and higher.The excellence of her husband made Qingqing feel more and more inferior. Only by serving him desperately can she feel at ease.In order to take better care of her husband's daily life, Qingqing even sold the flower shop and became a full-time wife, washing and cooking for him every day.Take care of the housework and keep the house spotless.She thought that doing so would keep her "humble" love, but after less than two years of marriage, she still had no choice but to divorce because her husband was tired of her sweetness.I think she is too selfless.

The great German poet Goethe said: "Although everyone begs a lot, what each of us really needs is very little, because life is short and human life is limited." Ten, seven points are enough.

One of the mistakes women often make is that when they fall in love, they should focus on him, and they will be the ones they talk about from now on.It’s him you talk about, and it’s him you think about day and night; when you’re with him, he’s your whole world; if you’re not with him, the whole world is him.But love is such an unreasonable thing, your infatuation may not be rewarded in return, maybe what you get will be bruises all over your body!Li Shangyin, a poet of the Tang Dynasty, had a famous saying: "The spring silkworms will not be exhausted until they die. The wax torch will turn into ashes and tears will dry." Women are like this.Once in love, it's too stupid, too crazy, giving blindly, but never thinking about it.When the candle burns out, what else can you have?When you lose yourself, what is left of your love?
Love is measured, in the heart of every "good" woman, love is above all else, she is very attentive to the man she loves, she gives everything she has, but she is always bruised all over her body.But "bad" women are not so stupid, they will never put men first, they "do whatever they want" and do their own way, but unexpectedly, their lives are often "satisfactory".

One thing a woman must do is to break free from the traditional definition of a woman. "Bad" women are also lovely women, they are ice-snow and smart, with a pure heart, and they are as fragrant and sweet as peaches.They have charming smiles, gentle dispositions, and they are as much admirable women as "good" women.

In fact. A "bad" woman is the same as a "good" woman, except that she makes no judgments without fear of losing her man.That is to say, the difference between these two kinds of women does not lie in their personalities or their moral character, but in their behavior - "bad" women will never give up themselves for men, and because In this way, "bad" women can deal with men calmly and freely, and easily win the favor of men for themselves.

Throughout, the "bad" woman sticks to her individuality.She will not change her preferences and interests, will not give up her dreams for him, will not deviate from her normal life, and will not get carried away with a man who is "death to death" in love with a man. Incredible.But what is dramatic is that the more they are like this, the more men are afraid of losing them.Because such a "bad" woman is not exclusive to him, he has to bother to please her; because she is not dependent on him like a bird, he wants to "hold up" her.

Despite a man's strong desire for an independent, self-contained woman, he still seeks out a woman who is as nurturing as his mother.He wants a free, long-term "live-in nanny" who will cook for him, sweep the floor, and do his laundry.But don't expect him to love you "hopelessly".

There is such a woman, when she was just married, she threw a pair of black jeans and her husband's white shirt into the washing machine. When his husband squeezed out the ugly stained shirt from the washing machine, he finally said She said the words she dreamed of: "Baby, you are really stupid like a pig, don't worry about my clothes from now on."

"Good" women should know that even if everything you do can be regarded as a model of "virtuous and kind", he still longs for the seduction of "wildflowers on the roadside". A "good" woman is the antithesis of a "wayside wild flower." "Wildflowers by the Wayside" represent fresh, unexpected passion, whereas "good" women are steady, "rule-following" motherly caresses. A "good" woman is the companion every man desires as much as he needs a mother.His mother always satisfies and accommodates him unconditionally, and it is precisely because of the stability and comfort of maternal love that he has unlimited confidence and strength to pursue the passion of love and desire.Men will be attached to maternal love, but they will never call on maternal love, just like you will not discharge your loved ones, this is a normal emotion of normal people.

"Good" women are always changing themselves to suit men, "bad" women are just the opposite.For example, on a dark and windy night, your boyfriend suddenly wants to go out to "bath the moon" and eat barbecue on a whim, so he calls you to make an appointment. At this time, no matter how busy a "good woman" is, she will leave the important things in hand, Dress up and go to the scene. The "bad" woman would bite an apple in her mouth, and lazily say to the phone: "Oh, I've been busy all day, you're so bad, don't let me take a break, let's eat it another day, good boy!" The man put down the microphone happily, and fell asleep in the dreamland with the "bad" woman.

Among men, "good" women are often "tremendous", but "bad" women can easily play with men "without any effort". In the final analysis, men are "animals" who like "challenges".

Do what you want, be a chic girl "let me do what I want"

Some girls often give up their will, live in the standards of others, and find their own value in the judgment of others.For such a girl, a slander from others is enough to destroy all her confidence, because she cares too much about what others think of her.Bad women will never be like this, they are like Ren Woxing in Jin Yong's martial arts novel "Swordsman", they do what they want, they don't go against their own wishes for the eyes of others, respect their own behavior, and do what they really want to do Do what you really want to do.They believe that only in this way can they achieve a happy and comfortable life state, flying as lightly as a swallow.

The famous Hollywood director Sam Wood once said that the most troublesome thing for him is to help young actors learn how to maintain themselves. "Young actors who are just starting out almost want to be a second-rate Lana Turner or a third-rate Clark Gable. The audience has already tasted that, and they need something new."

The worst thing about a person is not being able to maintain his body and mind. Each of us has 46 chromosomes, and there are hundreds of genes in each chromosome. Any single gene is enough to change a person's life.Therefore, everyone is unique in this world.There has never been anyone like you before, and there never will be.It is so unique and must be cherished.

"There are thousands of people in the world, why did you choose me?" You asked him like this one day.

"It's not because of your beauty, your wisdom, or your gentleness, but because you have your own personality. You won't follow me blindly. Being with you is more like being with friends than being with pets." He said answer.

Some girls care too much about what others think, and some even live their lives for others.They want to win the favor of all kinds of people, and they immediately attach great importance to the slightest dissatisfaction of others, and try to make up for it, so they are not flattering everywhere.Often, a casual expression from others will make her guess for a long time.Thinking before and after doing anything, timid and exhausted.

There are often such girls in life, in order to look glamorous, it takes hours to dress up when they go out, and they are satisfied under the envious eyes of everyone.

There are also some girls, because they are always scruples about other people's ideas, so they are obedient, and they think that others have prejudice against them when there is trouble, and they don't think about food and drink, and worry endlessly.It is impossible for such a girl to be happy.It can also be very exhausting to be their family members because they are sensitive and vulnerable.

It doesn't matter whether you can win the favor of others. Even if some people criticize you, if you think you are not wrong, you don't have to worry about it.The most important thing for a person is to maintain one's own personality. In the process of insisting on oneself, what you get is the happiness of "I am me".

When Yang Erche Namu is mentioned, people will be amazed at her: "She has so much personality!" "Her taste is very unique!" "She is not simple!" Indeed, this extraordinary Mosuo woman has It clearly embodies the dynamic vocabulary of "energy, socialization, sex, freedom, escape, pursuit..." In short, she really has her own set.

"My character is destined to be like this. I like the feeling of being on the road. I like to switch different roles and try various things. As long as I want to, I will do it. Nothing can stop me! "If it weren't for this aggressiveness, Yang Erche Namu might still be like her sisters in the same village, still herding sheep, collecting firewood, and cutting wheat by the lake surrounded by mountains, and she would never get out of those mountains in her whole life.The biggest spectacle she ever saw was the horse races and boat races across the lake during the holidays.Over there, you can see more people walking into the mountains from the outside to play.Those foreign tourists in different costumes told her that the outside world was very big and wonderful.It is also the idea of ​​"going out" that made Yang Erche Namu, who didn't know what an electric light was, a star among many female compatriots.

As a girl, just stick to your individuality.In the hundred gardens of the world, you will also be a wonderful flower.Everything in the world cannot be imitated and is unique.As a member of a big family of women, you are also unique in this world.

You can completely regard Zhang Ziyi and Jolin Tsai as idols in your heart, and you can completely marvel at the amazing wealth created by Yang Lan and Zhang Can, but you must not belittle yourself. Although you have one or another defect, you firmly believe that you are unique. If you show your personality, you can make achievements that are not inferior to theirs in your own field.

Only by living for yourself can you live a more wonderful life

(End of this chapter)