Men love such a woman: 12 lessons a happy woman must take

Chapter 11 A little selfish, a woman should do what she likes (2)
In this world, as long as there is more love, there will be more beauty.Therefore, a selfless woman is beautiful, even if she does not have an angelic face and a devilish figure.Trendy clothing.Mother Teresa, known as the "living saint" of the slums, is such a woman.She has helped the poor all her life, but she herself is also poor. Her life is simple and unpretentious. Where she lives, the only electrical appliance is a telephone; she wears only three sets of clothes, and she washes them herself; she only wears sandals and no socks... ...but in people's hearts, she is the most beautiful and holy goddess.

However, in modern life, most women are ordinary and ordinary. They will not become the second Mother Teresa, but they have the spirit of selfless dedication of "Mother Teresa".In life, they "dedicate" all their love to their boyfriends or husbands, in exchange for the happiness of their families at the expense of themselves.They work hard and think that love is "dedication" and requires "sacrifice".They think that this is a "good woman" and they will win the love of others.

However, many "good women" have become poor "resentful wives" who have been abandoned because of "devotion", so they attribute all the responsibility to men who have no conscience and are ungrateful. In fact, more factors are on themselves.They only know to be a good woman, they only pursue dedication without expecting anything in return, and as a result they lose themselves and lose themselves.Such a woman cannot but be said to be pathetic.

When Lingmei was in college, she met Ling Feng, a boy from the same department who was a year older than her.When graduating from university, Lingmei prepared to take the postgraduate entrance examination as planned, but Lingfeng said: "Don't take the exam, let's get married, I need you very much." Is it marriage or the postgraduate entrance examination?Lingmei couldn't make up her mind for a while.

In the end, Lingmei decided to give up the postgraduate entrance examination and marry Lingfeng.Because Lingmei believes that since she is married, she must be a good wife. If she is a graduate student, she must not have time to take care of her husband. If a wife neglects her husband because of her studies, she is not a good wife.It is often said that love is devotion, and Lingmei firmly believes in this.So, she decided to give up her ideals and build a harbor of love with her husband.

After graduation, Lingmei became a teacher, and her husband prepared to take the postgraduate entrance examination after working for a period of time.While her husband was preparing for the exam, Lingmei found out that she was pregnant.The pregnancy reaction is quite severe, and it is often that the food is vomited out soon after eating.But her husband is busy with exams, not only has no time to take care of her, but also needs her to take care of him.It is often Lingmei who vomits while cooking.But thinking that her husband was about to realize her dream, she secretly swallowed all the pain, and she thought it would be fine just waiting for him to be admitted to graduate school.Later, the husband got his wish and the child was born.

At this time, Lingmei was even busier. She had to work, take care of Xianzi, and her husband who was in school. She was very nervous.Picking up the children, shopping for vegetables, cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning up the room, Lingmei has almost done all the housework.But when she saw her beautiful children and her husband who worked hard at graduate school, she was relieved and felt extremely happy.

In order to take care of her family, Lingmei almost gave up all her hobbies.She no longer has time to go to the mall to buy a satisfactory dress for herself; she no longer has the interest to sing a song with her friends; she can't even watch the TV series she likes from beginning to end, but she never complains, she thinks Her contribution is worthwhile, because her family is more harmonious and happy with her contribution.

Lingmei originally thought that after her husband graduated, they would usher in their second honeymoon, and he would repay her dedication.But the truth is that their relationship is not what it used to be.After my husband graduated, he went to a joint venture.He was very busy with work, and he often came home late at night with a tired look on his face.What made Lingmei even more angry was that her husband didn't bother to talk to her anymore.Sometimes, Lingmei couldn't bear it anymore and said to him, it's time for us to talk.But he said, after being married for such a long time, there is nothing to say.sometimes.He would also say, can you talk about something else? It's really boring that the host is always the master or the west is the shortest.

Finally one day, her husband showed up to Lingmei and said, "Let's get a divorce, I'm in love with someone else." Lingmei never thought that everything she did would result in such a result, so she asked her husband in puzzlement: " What did I do wrong, isn't it good enough?"

"You did nothing wrong. You are a good wife. I am sorry for you. Now that I am with you, I don't have the same feeling as before. You are not as ideal and passionate as before." The husband replied.

"I sacrificed so much for you, isn't it worth it? Do you have a conscience?" Lingmei almost collapsed.

"But sacrifice and love are two different things," the husband said calmly.

This is the truth, cruel, but also alarming.When a woman loses her original charm due to "devotion", she is also in danger of losing him.Instead of being a good woman who is "selfless and dedicated", it is better to be "bad" and "selfish". This may make it easier to win the hearts of men and get the happiness you want.

"Bad" women remind female friends, don't just know "dedication", let yourself lose confidence.If you love him, you should love yourself even more, so that others will easily see your charm and praise you, and you will gain more confidence from these praises, and you will live a more radiant life and always maintain your enthusiasm for life , which is a virtuous circle.Stop saying silly things like "I love you more than I love myself," and don't think that love is all about giving.

A "bad" woman has never been a goddess of "selfless dedication". She knows that "dedication" will not make herself a goddess like Mother Teresa, but she may become an abandoned goddess.

Therefore, women should not "dedicate" to the end at any time, and forget to cultivate and improve themselves.You know, love yourself more, do what you want to do, no matter what others say, you will be happy.In the eyes of others, this may be "selfish", but it is more a kind of wisdom.Unfortunately, many women believe that the only way to please their boyfriend or husband, to ensure his loyalty and love for them, or to get more companionship is to cater to and fulfill the other's wishes and demands, and selflessly give their love. For this reason, they Don't hesitate to change yourself. "Bad" women are different. They would rather be a "selfish ghost" than a "dedication" goddess, because in their eyes, they are the most important.

There must be prerequisites for dedication

The opera Narcissus is a lyrical fairy tale opera composed by Czech composer Anton Dvořák based on a script written by playwright Jaroslav Kvapil.The content described is:
In a lake in a big forest, there lived a water fairy. She fell in love with a handsome prince. In order to become a human being and meet the prince, she had to ask the banshee for help.The banshee told her that she could satisfy her request, but she must become dumb. At the same time, once she lost the prince's love, she must live in the deepest part of the lake forever and the prince would suffer misfortune.The water fairy came to the world, and she really fell in love with the prince, but on the day of their wedding, the prince fell in love with a princess from a neighboring country who was a guest.The water fairy was in great pain, so she had no choice but to keep her promise and return to the depths of the lake, half human and half demon.Soon, the prince regretted it. He came to the lake to call the water fairy, and asked for her forgiveness, but it was too late. The prince's body sank to the bottom of the lake.

The water fairy in the opera lives for love, and in order to be with the one she loves deeply, she does not hesitate to abandon her fairy identity and become a mortal to love, but the end is the end of moths flying into the fire.

Who are women living for in real life?
Yulan's family background is not good, and she has many brothers and sisters. After graduating from the middle school, she returned to her hometown to become a teacher, but she was squeezed out and left the campus.She married a man who was three years older than her soon after she left the campus. The man was doing business outside and could not return home several times a year. Later, she had a daughter, which made her completely in that patriarchal family. Losing her status, her mother-in-law's attitude towards her became worse and worse.The husband also returned to the end less often.Later, I heard that I had an affair outside and wanted to divorce her.After the divorce, it was very difficult for her to take care of the child by herself. Others advised her to remarry. It is not easy for a woman to take care of a child.But she disagreed, she was afraid that the "stepdad" would treat the child badly.With the qualification of graduating from a middle school, I ran a preschool education class at home and took in a few students to make ends meet. A 30-year-old woman who looks very old. She often said: "I have nothing in my life, so I only count on my daughter. Without her, I would have died a long time ago."

For the sake of children and husbands, the living space women leave for themselves is getting smaller and smaller.Of course, it’s not that women’s dedication is bad, but that women should not forget themselves when caring for their children and husbands, but also live for themselves, and don’t bet everything on a man or a child.

In life, we often hear some women sigh: so tired!So annoying!In fact, you can not be bothered or tired at all. The problem is that you have to know how to live and live for yourself.There is nothing more substantial and important than this.

Cherish the present and enjoy every second of happiness
There is a story that a dreamy little fish traveled far away from home in pursuit of happiness, hoping to live a good life in the sea.It swims and swims, and swims through thousands of rivers, but it still can't find the sea in its heart.Later, it met a very big fish and asked, "Smart big fish, you must have been to many places in your life, please tell me, how can you swim to the sea?"

The big fish wondered, "This is the sea!"

The little fish said, "But I think it's just water!"

Many women are often like that little fish who don’t know how to be blessed when they are in the blessings. Happiness is at hand but they don’t know how to hold it tightly. Instead, they unconsciously take the happiness they have for granted and don’t cherish it. , not to enjoy.Just like at the beginning of a relationship, every move of the other party seems to touch every nerve of yours. A phone call, a compliment, and a care can make people jump for joy.However, after the relationship is stable or married, all the phone calls, compliments, and cares seem to become so "natural" and dispensable, and naturally the original happiness will not be found.

We have all had this experience, that is, after losing some happiness and happiness that we took for granted, we know how to cherish and feel grateful.For example, I found out in a panic that my beloved puppy was lost, and a few hours later, the puppy returned safely by itself; Flesh wounds... so our hearts are full of gratitude.

In fact, whether it is a pet that returned safely, a healthy body, or a friend who knows each other... Isn’t all the happiness and happiness we have already?
Undoubtedly, unhappy women spend most of their lives worrying about all kinds of things.It is said that women have "long hair but short knowledge". In fact, most women not only have long hair, but also long knowledge.Especially women's sense of urgency always seems to be stronger than that of men.They allow past problems and future worries to dominate the present, resulting in anxiety, frustration, and depression.Moreover, they set aside their contentment, their inherent advantages, and their striving to find joy in their hearts.How can such a woman walk with pleasure?
In the living room a huge wall clock was ticking.One night, a sobbing sound was heard suddenly, so the furniture in the living room looked everywhere for the source of the crying, and it turned out that the second hand was crying.

The second hand cried and said: "My life is so miserable! Whenever I run a lap, the long hand only takes one step, and when I run sixty laps, the short hand only takes five steps. I need to run 440 laps a day. There are seven days in a week, 30 days in a month, and 360 and five days in a year..., I am so thin, but I need to run every minute, how can I run? I can't do it."

The desk lamp next to it comforted it and said: "Don't think about things that haven't come yet, you just need to walk forward step by step according to your duty, and you will walk easily and happily."

There is such a sentence in the "Bible": "Don't worry about tomorrow's things, because you still have today's things to worry about." This is a word of great wisdom, but it is not easy to do.

There are many things in life that we can't let go of and can't let go hold us back, preventing us from getting real happiness.Every woman should learn to choose, know how to give up, be happy for today, be satisfied with everything she has now, and be an angel today.

Don't worry about your lack of outstanding appearance, because the skin is inherited from our parents, we have no choice but to accept it calmly.

Don't be suspicious all day long to judge whether your lover is loyal or not. Believe that you can't get what you want, and you can't escape what you want. Cherish every moment you are together.

Don't quarrel with your lover all day long because of financial constraints.Money is a possession outside the body, "come and go naked without any worries", you must firmly believe that there are no obstacles that you cannot overcome, and you must believe that difficulties are only temporary.

Don't worry about the child's naughtiness, that is his most primitive innocence, we should regard it as a rare thing, once the child shows a sensible and melancholy that is not comparable to his age, you will feel sad.

Don't be depressed all day long because of illness, because you not only belong to yourself, but also belong to your relatives, and your emotions will trigger their emotions.As long as you work hard and persevere now, I believe you can change the status quo, even if you can't change it, then you don't have any regrets.

Don't be depressed because of the loss of money and things. Everything in the world is balanced. "It's a blessing in disguise." Maybe you lose something today, but you will get an unexpected surprise tomorrow!

Some people say that women are like water.If there is no water, how can everything in the world survive?
Some people say that a woman is a flower.If there are no flowers, how can there be a picturesque country?
In this case, why not be a happy woman.In fact, it is very simple, cherish possession, just for today.

Here's a "Just For Today" happy plan, written by the late Sybell Patrick.This scheme is so effective that thousands of copies can be made and given to others.If you can do this, you can eliminate most of your worries and greatly increase your "joy in life."
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Just for today, I want to be very happy.Lincoln was right when he said, "Most people can be happy if they set their minds to it."Happiness comes from within, not externally.
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Just for today, I'm going to adapt myself to everything, to try to adjust everything to fit my desires.I'm going to treat my family, my career and my luck that way.
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Just for today, I'm going to love my body.I'm going to exercise more, take care of myself, cherish myself, don't damage it, don't neglect it, so that it can be a good foundation for me to strive for success.
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Just for today, I'm going to strengthen my mind.I want to learn something useful and read some books that require thinking and concentration.
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Just for today, I'm going to train my soul with 3 things: Do a good thing for someone else, but don't let them know.Also doing two things that I don't really feel like doing, just to exercise, as William James suggested.
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Just for today, I want to be a pleasing person, I want to groom my appearance as much as possible, dress as decently as possible, speak softly, act gracefully, and don't care about others' reputation.Don't find fault with anything, don't interfere or lecture others.
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Just for today, I'm going to try to think about how to get through this day without solving all my life's problems in one day.I can do one thing for 102 hours straight, but if I were to do it for the rest of my life, it would freak me out.
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Just for today, I'm going to make another plan.I'm going to write down what to do every hour.Maybe I won't follow through exactly, but I'll make the plan anyway, which will prevent at least two evils--too much haste and indecision.
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Just for today, leave yourself a quiet half hour and relax.In this half hour, I want to make my life more hopeful.
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Just for today, I will have no fear in my heart.In particular, I want to have happiness, and I want to appreciate everything about beauty.To love and to believe that those I love will love me.

Happiness is by your side, and happiness comes from ordinary life. A smart "bad" woman should be good at finding happiness from life.It is because of this that bad women seldom complain about birth.Because they know that happy people do not have more happiness than others, but because they have different attitudes towards life and difficulties, they never ask "why", but "for what", they will not I spent a long time wrestling with the question of "Why is life so unfair to me", but to find a solution to the problem.It is because of this that a bad woman is like a woman who enjoys pleasure in time.

(End of this chapter)