Men love such a woman: 12 lessons a happy woman must take

Chapter 26
For example, in a conversation, when you need to praise the other party in some places, you should word it appropriately and pay attention to the proportion. The purpose of praise is to make the other party feel that you really admire him (her). Let the other person feel that you are insincere.For example, after a public relations officer received a guest in a warm and friendly manner, the evaluation of "Your reception is really pleasant, and your enthusiasm has left a deep impression on me" is obviously better than "You are the most enthusiastic person in the world." People" praise will be much more ear-splitting.Therefore, even the praise that people are generally willing to hear should be moderate, and excessive flattery and flattery are close to disgusting.Especially for your superiors, it is even more inappropriate to say flattery words respectfully in social occasions.When speaking to juniors or people with lower status, you should not use a contemptuous or indifferent tone.

If you want to keep the conversation going, you can choose some humorous language or tell some jokes.Humorous language is both funny and profound. If it can be used properly in a conversation, it can not only enliven the atmosphere, but also enlighten the mind, attract the audience, and achieve the purpose of better communication and communication with people.But there must be a limit to everything, the use of humorous language, and the telling of jokes must vary from person to person, and there must be a time, place, and occasion, and there must be a sense of proportion.For example, some people like to laugh at other people's physical defects and shortcomings, especially when talking about topics between men and women.In fact, this not only fails to show my wit and humor, but also shows my frivolity and boredom.To know.Good manners and presence are based on the principles of friendliness and consideration for others.This kind of short-cut "humor" hurts people too deeply.Not only is it immoral, it may not be beneficial to yourself.Therefore, we must pay attention to grasping the propriety, and leave room for speaking and doing things.

In addition, in our daily life, it is very difficult for us not to beg for others, and it is also very difficult not to be begged by others, so whether we ask others to do things, agree to do things for others, or refuse others, we must pay attention to what we say. room.In addition, there should be room for praising people, criticizing people, mediating incidents, resolving conflicts, dealing with embarrassing situations, regulating dissatisfaction, and even assigning tasks and reporting work.Only by leaving room can one advance and retreat freely.

Always remember to exchange information with friends

How many successful and famous people, if it was not for the encouragement and help of friends that made them firmly stick to their positions, I am afraid that they would have given up at some critical moments in their careers, or even died down.If there are no friends in life, life will be a barren and barren desert!

If there is no help from friends, maybe you will still be spinning in circles after all your efforts.But if you can keep in touch with your friends in time and exchange some information with each other, then you can make a difference.

Tom is an employee of a large company in the United States and works as a junior accountant.Later, he felt that he could handle all aspects of work freely, and hoped to be transferred from the west to Florida in order to have a better future.

However, he never had any contact with companies in that state, and contacted through letters, employment agencies, and some companies he knew, without satisfactory results.At this time, Tom decided to realize this wish through the network.

After brainstorming all the connections he could use, he jotted down the contact information of these people, all of them had direct or indirect connection with the Florida affairs, and they were related to the accounting firm.He further considered, which of these people is more closely related to the accounting firm?He ended up picking two people: one was his boss, Mr. Smith, and the other was his sister's good friend Nancy.

Tom's next move, and the most important one, was to find a way to get them to his help first.Once this step is achieved, the other party will help him realize his wish in the form of repayment.Tom asks his sister that Nancy wants to join a sorority.So he found a good friend of his, Frank Ritty, because the good friend's sister Alice was a member of the fraternity.

Tom meets Elise.With the help of Elise.Nancy successfully became a member of the association.Nancy therefore introduced Tom to her father.Although her father had no direct ties to any firms in Florida, he was well-respected in lawyer circles there as an attorney.

Soon, with the help of a friend of Nancy's father, Tom found the general manager of an employment agency in Florida.Under the warm recommendation of the general manager who lived there.Tom finally got his wish, not only successfully transferred to Florida, but also found a very satisfactory position.

Friends are a person's most important capital.Often exchanging information with friends and getting the information you want from them will not only save you time, but more importantly, it will allow women to achieve their goals more conveniently, just like Tom.

But once you lose your friends, you are left alone and panic about it.

American writer Jack London's childhood was poor and unfortunate.He later went to Alaska and joined the gold diggers.

Among the gold diggers, he made many friends.Among them was a middle-aged man named Cullinan, whose bitter history could fill a thick book.His experience strengthened a goal in Jack London's heart: writing, writing about the lives of gold diggers.

With the help of Cullinan, Jack London used the rest time to read and study, and constantly traveled among these gold diggers to understand their stories, experiences and thoughts.In the process, he also made friends with these gold diggers.

In 1899, 23-year-old Jack London wrote his debut novel "To the Hunter", and then published the collection of novels "Son of Wolf".These works are all based on the bitter life of gold diggers, so they have won the love of the middle and lower classes.

However, with the increase of money, he forgot about those gold digger friends who shared weal and woe, and no longer contacted them, and did not try to understand their experiences.

Over time, he left the life that gave him inspiration and material.

Leaving friends, life, and the source of writing, Jack London's thinking gradually dried up, and he could no longer write a decent book.His money, too, has been squandered.So one day in 1916, Jack London, who was in a mental and financial crisis, ended his life with a revolver in his apartment.

It is often said that an enemy is not permanent, and likewise, a friend is not permanent if you don't take care of it. One day he will leave you.Jack London's wealth gradually went from being poor to being rich, but his friends went from being rich to being poor step by step. In the end, he ended his life without information and spiritual sources.

Socializing is actually an art, and so is being with friends.In the workplace, women don't have to use official affairs as a common topic of communication with colleagues. Properly communicating with colleagues about some private matters in life is often easier to enhance mutual feelings and increase mutual trust.

Maybe there are some private matters that cannot be said, but there is no harm in talking about some private matters.For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend's work unit, education, age, personality, etc.; if you are married and have children, there will be topics about lovers and children.After work, you can chat by the way, it can enhance understanding and deepen relationship.If these contents are kept confidential and never tell others, then the distance between you and your colleagues will be opened invisibly.

If you take the initiative to talk about personal matters with others, others will tell you, and sometimes you can help each other.But if you don't say anything, and people don't know anything about you except your work, then how can you convince people.Trust is based on mutual understanding.

Therefore, friends need care to maintain, and also need to exchange information to care for each other.Social networking requires investment, and when you must invest, you must not be "stingy".Because only if you pay, can you gain; it is unrealistic to imagine that you can get something for nothing.The same should be true for the socializing of young people in their twenties, and achieving a win-win situation through reciprocity is the best result.

Liu is a policeman who handles criminal cases in a certain city. He is the one who has solved the most cases in the history of the same department, and is also the youngest and the fastest-rising one.

He said: "Actually, I'm not much better than other people, I just have a network of contacts for my enjoyment. Over the years, I have cultivated a group of informants. They are mostly thugs, and I occasionally give them a little favor in exchange. information."

"Many years ago, when I was in the anti-narcotics team, an informant was a counter worker in a small hotel. He called my house and told me that there were some suspicious people who might be dealing drugs in the room. So, I took A group of people rushed to the scene and arrested the criminals in one fell swoop, and later learned that this was the largest drug smuggling case in the city in recent years."

Although women do not develop their friends as informants in interpersonal communication, they can learn from Police Officer Liu's way of communication, "If you want to get it, give it first". If you understand this, then when you build a network of interpersonal relationships , it is much easier and more convenient.

Women always remember to exchange information with friends, share information resources with others, and often get more.For example, when you know a certain aspect of "knowledge", you can share it with your friends. When your friends get the information they need from you, you also get different opinions from them. You can make up for your own deficiencies in a timely manner.Not only that, but you can also get more benefits from it.Because what you share with others is useful and helpful to others, and others will thank you.

Secondly, your willingness to share resources with others is a kind of willingness to give. Others will think you are an honest and sincere person, and friends around them will also be willing to make friends with you.When everyone around you is willing to be your friend.You have the "fate" of socializing, and this "fate" is the foundation of your career and the source of your inexhaustible relationship.

When Watson, a New York financier, was working as a bank clerk, his boss once asked him to prepare a document as soon as possible, and the person who had such a document was the general manager of a company.In order to complete this task.Watson decided to visit him in person.

But what he didn't expect was that the general manager had been perfunctory to him from the beginning to the end, always pretending that he didn't want to talk about this issue at all, so this meeting ended very quickly, and there was no result.

Watson really didn't know what to do at the time, so in a chat with a friend, he mentioned the incident to his friend, but unexpectedly he got a message from his friend that the general manager had a 12-year-old Kids, love stamps so much.So Watson thought that their bank's foreign department was also doing stamp collection work, and those stamps came from all over the world.

In the afternoon of the next day, Watson visited the general manager again and said that he had brought some strings with stamps for him.So, he received a warm welcome. The general manager was smiling, looking at the stamps and saying, "My George will definitely like this one. Look at this one! It's a treasure!"

They spent half an hour talking about Stamp and his son, and then more than an hour talking about what Watson needed.Watson got a lot of evidence, data, reports and documents, and the trip was rewarding.

Therefore, every woman who pursues success and is unique should establish her own friend profile as soon as possible.In this file, maybe not all the people are familiar with you, but sometimes, contacting them and talking with them will also have unexpected gains.Because they are active in all walks of life in various industries, contacting them will allow you to keep abreast of the latest news from various industries in society.

Don't be careless with people
A smart woman knows that only friends with good character, kind heart and willingness to help others will be of great help to her in her life, and people with bad character will only have bad effects.Therefore, each of us must choose our friends carefully, and we must not take it lightly when interacting with others.

A young man came to work in Mike's company.Because it was recommended by my friends.Mike also paid more attention to it, so he often gave this young man some important tasks, and the young man could complete them smoothly.Young people are also more dedicated in their usual work, which is seen by Mike.Mike also thinks this young man is good and plans to train him.

Gradually, Mike transferred this young man to work by his side, often discussed with him the development of the company, and even let this young man master some important internal information of the company.

The young man's future should be very good, but he doesn't think so, he has his own bigger ambition: to usurp Mike's company.

Because of his success, many of his subordinates approached him, which of course was exactly what he wanted.Gradually, this young man also built a large network of relationships in the company.And because Mike trusted him so much, he didn't notice these changes.

The opportunity finally came, Mike had a big business and needed to travel for a month, so he handed over the company to this young man to take care of.It was during this time that the young man began his long-planned plan.He joined forces with Mike's friends, found Mike's competitors, and acquired most of the shares of Mike's company.

When Mike came back, he couldn't believe it. The chairman of the company's board of directors had become that young man.Fortunately, Mike remained calm. After investigation, he found out that his friend and this young man had jointly seized his company.

In order to restore his own company, on the one hand, Mike borrowed money to reverse the acquisition of his own company. On the other hand, he united several other partners to put pressure on his competitors, and personally persuaded his competitors. After these difficult efforts.The company eventually returned to his hands, but the price Mike paid was too heavy.

After this incident, Mike realized deeply that you can't trust a person easily, even if he is your friend.

It is often said that your worst enemy is your best friend.Therefore, when women make friends, they should be careful, even if they are their best friends, they should not trust him 100%.Although this does not necessarily match your friendship principles, it can protect yourself in a modern society where interpersonal relationships are becoming more and more complicated.

Many people know the truth that having more friends makes it easier to travel. Most people can treat each other with sincerity and help each other, but there are also some people who, in order to achieve their own interests, do not hesitate to use emotional investment to defraud the other party's trust and fulfill their own inescapable goals. purpose of telling.

Maybe sometimes, there will be such people around you. They don't have much contact with you, but suddenly, they are overly enthusiastic about you and try to get close to you.In the face of their enthusiastic offensive, you may not refuse, but you will treat him with the same attitude.But often at this time, you have to pay more attention, maybe their enthusiasm has ulterior motives for you.

The puppy was walking in a hurry on the grass. It had to get home before dark, so it chose an unfamiliar path.It can be seen that the puppy has walked a lot and looks very tired.

At this time, a fox jumped out from the side, "My friend, you are very tired. I will carry you on my back, and I will go the same way." The fox said to the puppy.

Seeing that the fox was very enthusiastic, the puppy could not refuse, so he climbed onto the fox's back.After walking for a long distance, the puppy also got a good rest. Seeing that the fox was also very tired, the puppy said embarrassedly to the fox: "My friend, I will carry you."

So the fox came down and lay on the puppy's back.Walking, walking, the puppy stopped, its feet fell into the swamp, the fox jumped over, turned around and said to the puppy: "Thank you, that's why I carried you just now."

The little dog suddenly had an indescribable feeling, so he had to stop there, not daring to move.Waiting for help.

In real life, there are also people like puppies and foxes among women.A woman should neither be like a fox, nor should she be like a puppy. "Convenience with others, convenience for yourself" does not apply to any occasion.Some people feel that the other party is very trustworthy, and they say everything without reservation. As a result, when others have fully grasped your information, it is you who suffer.

It is often said that universities are the last piece of pure land in society.There, they only came into contact with simple students and teachers, and their life was as beautiful as a fairy tale.In fact, they who are not deeply involved in the world do not know that the real life is completely different from what they imagined.

As the saying goes, "the heart is separated from the belly", everyone is not like what he shows, you can never fully understand a person, even if you have lived with the person for 20 years, you may not know him well.Therefore, there is no way to know whether others are plotting against you.Based on this, you need to be careful when interacting with people in your daily life, as the saying goes, "be careful when sailing for ten thousand years".

(End of this chapter)