Men love such a woman: 12 lessons a happy woman must take

Chapter 25
When you are unable to meet other people's requests or really don't want to help, you can introduce him to several ways to solve the problem.If the way you pointed out is still "this way does not work", I believe your friend will not blame you, after all, you are trying to help him make suggestions.Of course, if it succeeds because of it.You will naturally be the object of gratitude.

5.Say "no" with avoidance.

You and a friend went to see a bad martial arts movie, and when they came out of the theater, the friend asked, "What did you think of this movie?" You could answer, "I prefer more lyrical movies." You have a fever, but don't want to tell Friends, so as not to cause worry.The friend asked with concern: "Have you taken your temperature?" You said: "It doesn't matter, it's just that the weather is not very good today."

6.Change the subject to say "no"

It's not necessary to answer a request with "yes" and "no," setting aside the question itself is synonymous with rejection.If a friend says, "Shall we come back to this park tomorrow?" requirements.

7.Say "no" politely

When someone gives you a gift, but you can’t accept it, you can politely refuse: one is to say polite words; Wait.

8.Say "no" diplomatically

When diplomats encounter questions they don't want to answer or are unwilling to answer, they always use one sentence to prevaricate: "No comment."In life, when we are temporarily unable to say "yes" and "no", we can also use this sentence.

In order to be accepted by others, you have to give something
Once upon a time there was a man who was lost in the desert, and was dying of thirst because of the unbearable heat.He groped around staggeringly, and finally found an abandoned house.The house was weather-beaten, and the doors and windows were gone.But there is a pump outside the door that draws groundwater.Overjoyed, he staggered over and pumped the pump like hell, but there was still nothing dripping from the spout.Disappointed, he suddenly found a bottle on the top of the pump with a cork on the top of the bottle. On the bottle was written: "My friend, please fill this bottle of water into the water outlet first, and then the water can be pumped. Also, Please fill up the bottle before you go." He pulled the cork away and saw that there was indeed water in the bottle.

At this time, should he put all his eggs in one basket and pour the water in the bottle into the water outlet?What should I do if I can't pump out the water after pouring it in?Isn't it a dead end?If he drank up that bottle of water, at least he could temporarily save his life from dying of thirst.In that case, why would he risk pouring water into the spout?

But somehow, he followed the instructions on the bottle, and then frantically pumped the pump.The instructions on the bottle were really good, and the groundwater flowed out continuously from the outlet!So he had a good drink, then filled the bottle, corked the cork, and added this sentence on the bottle: "The above instructions are absolutely true! You must first give to get something in return."

Indeed, what should you do if you want to be successful and to form a good network of relationships that are conducive to self-development?A woman must be like the man above, learn to give first, in order to have rich rewards.Next, let us take a look at what happened to Yoshio Shimamura, the Japanese rope king. Although what he said is a business matter, it also has some enlightenment for our interpersonal communication.

Yoshio Shimamura, the Japanese rope king, was originally a clerk in a packaging company.one day.When he was walking aimlessly on the street, he happened to notice many beautiful ladies, besides their own leather bags, each of them was also carrying a beautiful paper bag.These paper clothes are used by the shopping malls for them to store things when they are shopping. It is really practical and convenient to store things in such paper bags.After careful observation with multiple purposes, Shimamura found that more and more people use paper bags. It seems that paper bags are a very promising thing for development.

So Shimamura managed to visit a paper mill again, and sure enough, the factory was as busy as the scene of a fire just broke out.After the visit, Shimamura was shocked. He asserted that paper bags would be all the rage in the future!Then, the ropes for carrying paper bags will also be in great demand.Therefore, he resolutely decided that he must resign and work hard no matter what.

After countless times of hard work, Dao Cun finally applied for a loan of 200 million yuan from the bank.With the funds, how can we gain a firm foothold in the highly competitive business world?At the beginning of his business, Shimamura decided to give up before earning, and adopted a strange "original price sales method".

The so-called "original price sale method", that is, he bought a large amount of hemp rope at the price of 5 cents a piece of hemp rope with a length of 45 centimeters in the producing area, and then sold it at the original price of 5 cents each to a paper bag factory in Tokyo.

After a year of loss-making business with no profit at all, the reputation of "Shimamura's ropes are really cheap" spread everywhere.Orders from all over the world are pouring in like snowflakes.Therefore, the far-sighted Shimamura took his second step step by step.Taking the shopping receipt, Shimamura went to tell the ordering customers: "Up to now, I haven't earned you a penny, but if this continues, I can only go bankrupt." As a result, his honesty naturally moved the customer, making the customer willing to raise the price to 5 cents a rope.

At the same time, Dao Cun came to the hemp rope production area to discuss with the manufacturer: "You sold me a rope for 5 cents, and I sold it at the original price, so I have so many orders. However, this kind of 'losing money' I can’t continue to make money.” The suppliers were shocked when they saw the receipts and invoices issued by Shimamura to customers, because it was the first time they met such people who were willing to do business without making money, so they agreed, Each rope was supplied to him for 4 cents.

In this way, once the two parties negotiated, each rope made a dime, and he had ordered 1000 million pieces a day at that time, so the profit was a considerable 100 million yen.In this way, in just a few years, Shimamura transformed from a poor man who was almost penniless and empty-handed into a famous rope king in Japan. After 13 years of starting his business, his daily delivery volume has exceeded 5000 million.The current ropes are more exquisite, including plastic belts, satin ribbons, silk ribbons, etc., each priced at about 5 yuan, and the profit is even more considerable.

In the above case, Shimamura seems to have suffered greatly at the beginning, but then he took advantage of it even more.Because the loss-making business with no profit not only enables him to win a large number of users, but also forces other competitors to withdraw from the competition, thereby achieving his real goal, squeezing out competitors and monopolizing the market for himself. How is this different from interpersonal communication? ?Isn't this what women should learn in interpersonal communication?

Learn to see things from the perspective of others
There was such a story:
One year, when Christmas came, a mother took her 5-year-old son to buy gifts.Christmas carols echo in the streets, the windows are decorated with lights, elves in cute disguises sing and dance, and the shops are full of colorful toys.

"Come on, baby, look, what a beautiful Christmas night scene!" The mother said to her son, but the son held her clothes tightly and cried loudly.

"What's the matter? Baby, if you keep crying, the Christmas elves won't come to us!"

"I... my shoelaces are untied..."

The mother had to squat down on the sidewalk to tie her son's shoelaces.Mother inadvertently raised her head and looked up slightly, ah, why is there nothing? --There are no gorgeous lanterns, no charming windows, no Christmas gifts, and no richly decorated dining tables... It turns out that those things are too high, and Xianzi can't see anything.What fell in his eyes was a pair of thick feet and the low skirts of women, rubbing against each other, colliding, coming and going...

For the first time, this mother sees the world from the eyes of her 5-year-old son.She was so shocked that she immediately got up and picked up her son...

From then on, the mother kept in mind that she should never impose the "happiness" she thought on her son again. "Look at the problem from the standpoint of the child."Mother realized this through her own experience.

Not only does a good mother need to look at problems from the standpoint of the child, in fact, each of us, especially women, needs to look at problems from the perspective of others.Only by empathizing and empathizing with others can we truly understand what others are thinking.

In life, we should never easily impose our own preferences and logic on others, look at the scenery from different angles, each have their own feelings, and know whether we are warm or not.People who can look at problems from the perspective of others and think more about others can always win people's love and respect.In fact, it is not difficult to learn to be considerate of others, as long as you are willing to seriously look at the problem from the perspective and standpoint of the other party.

On one occasion, Dale Carnegie advertised in a newspaper for a secretary.About three hundred cover letters came in, and they were pretty much the same: "I saw an ad in the Sunday morning paper. I'd like to apply for this position. I'm in my twenties..." Only the first lady was particularly bright, and she It wasn't about what she wanted to fight for, she was talking about what spare parts Carnegie needed.Her letter is as follows: "Teacher: Your advertisement may have attracted two or three hundred replies, and I believe you must be too busy to read them all, so you just need to make a phone call." …I would be happy to come over and help with correspondence to save you precious time. I have 15 years of secretarial experience...”

She went on to talk about some important bosses in the past.Carnegie was ecstatic when he saw the letter.He called her immediately and asked her to come.Carnegie said that people like her really have a bright future.

To sincerely look at things from the perspective of others means that a person should put himself in other people's position and situation to think about problems, understand other people's views and feelings, and understand and recognize other people's emotions and emotions.The "others" mentioned here can include anyone who gets along and deals with you, such as your parents, leaders, colleagues, friends, customers, etc.

There is a super rich man who was a homeless man who had nothing when he was young.The young man came to a remote town in the west with the gold rush army, and was warmly received by the mayor.

At this time, it was the time of spring rain, and the path in front of the mayor's gate was muddy.People passing by walked from the flower garden in front of the mayor's gate for convenience, and the flowers and plants in the flower garden were trampled in a mess.The young man was very angry, and was about to go forward to urge people not to leave the flower garden.At this time, the mayor picked up a load of cinders and immediately paved the muddy road.

Since then, people have consciously walked on the cleaner and more convenient roads, and no one has stepped on the flowerbeds anymore.

At this time, the mayor patted the young man on the shoulder and said meaningfully: "You see, young man. Taking care of others is taking care of yourself!"

The young man suddenly came to his senses. He remembered the words of the mayor and considered everything from the perspective of others, and became a generation of oil magnate.He is the great Rockefeller.

So, when we have conflicts with others, why not try to think from the perspective of others and put ourselves in other people's shoes?Perhaps, when someone else's problem is solved, your problem will be solved too!
Convenience to others is the greatest convenience to yourself
The unhappiness in life is often the gain or loss of the slightest, the short and long of half a step.Everyone in the world has their own survival principles and actual conditions, so don't care about other people's comments and evaluations, and don't interfere with others.Keep a tolerant heart at all times, and leave room for others in everything.Don't forgive others, resent others, and not forgive others, it will only make yourself more sad, it will not bring bad influence to others, it will only increase your burden and make yourself unhappy.Therefore, we must be tolerant to others, give ourselves a little leeway, and give others a step.Learn to live in different places and think more about your own shortcomings.Know enough to be content, do something and not do something.A woman who distinguishes right from wrong and leaves room for things is a smart and popular woman.

Leave room for both yourself and the other side. Even the most aggressive and aggressive negotiators will give themselves or the other side room for maneuver.In case the other party can't step down, this kind of embarrassment will lead to subtle changes in the psychology of both negotiators, and even affect the balance of victory and defeat.Unless you are convinced that it is beneficial for you to push the opponent into a corner, you can fully control the opponent's struggle, otherwise you must leave room for the opponent.

Everyone says that there is room for doing things, but they often don't know if there is any limit to this room. If there is room for calculating tomorrow's achievements, then this room is not worth mentioning.Because this is simply that some people are inflating their pockets for themselves, and leaving room for it is just a performance.

There was a person who applied for the city marketing director of a large company. The two sides talked very speculatively and were not limited to a specific position.For a number of reasons, this individual was not offered the position.While expressing regret, the two parties also expressed their willingness to cooperate again if they have the opportunity.After a period of time, the company called to ask if this person would be willing to serve as the company's northern market director.In fact, in a sense, this is the benefit of leaving room.

Even if you're leaving a less-than-great business, don't make the relationship too fraught.You are struggling after you change jobs, and the company is also developing. Maybe the two sides can cooperate at a higher starting point, after all, they know each other very well.

The two sides of a coin are not the same. Similarly, in this world, nothing is completely absolute, and everything has two opposite sides.In other words, it means that we should not be too absolute in life, and we must leave some room for maneuver, whether it is for ourselves or others.

Zhuge Liang captured Meng Huo alive seven times, but finally released him again.Some people will say that he is stupid, after spending so much time and energy catching a person, he "let the tiger go back to the mountain" in the end!In fact, if we look at it from another angle.Otherwise, Zhuge Liang not only left room for himself, but also left a way for Meng Huo to retreat. Zhuge Liang, who is well versed in the way of employing people, knew that if he wanted a person to serve the country willingly, he had to be convincing. surrender.really.After capturing Meng Huo for the eighth time, he finally willingly surrendered and surrendered. Zhuge Liang's move has also become a good story handed down from generation to generation.

In a sense, leaving room is a positive state of mind.Buddhism said: "The heart is kind like water." Liu Yong once wrote in his book: "People are often surprised by the heat of the sun, but the earth under their feet has an even more amazing heat. The sky is not warm, the earth warms first, That's why many flowers bloom through the ice; human feelings are not warm, but the heart is warm first, so we can be a cleanser in the world." A kind-hearted person can often consider a lot for others, so he often leaves room for others, maybe he He will lose some fame or property because of this, but at the same time, he has gained the gratitude of the other party, which is something more precious than money.

Of course, we can also say that leaving room is another manifestation of happiness.As Socrates said, being too sensible is not a good thing.To survive in this world, what one pursues is not only beautiful appearance and great wealth, but also more important friends, family members and lovers.If a person is too rational when dealing with things around him, even if he gets what he wants, he will lose a lot, and the value of the latter obviously cannot be compared with the former.Try to treat the problems around you with emotional thoughts, it won't make you lose anything.On the contrary, you may even reap a great deal of happiness!

Leaving room is only a small detail, but it can determine success or failure.Wang Zhongqiu wrote in "The Charm of Details": "I long for greatness with all my heart, but greatness disappears; but I am willing to be ordinary and do every detail carefully, but greatness comes unexpectedly. This is the charm of details. surprise!"

Do not draw the bow too full when doing things, and leave a little room for yourself and others, so that you can move forward and retreat freely in life...

Leave room, in other words, just don't run out.Volume [-] of the Qing Dynasty's "Essays on Two Autumn Rain Temples" recorded "four inexhaustible", that is, "the merits cannot be exhausted, the officials cannot be exhausted, the favors cannot be exhausted, and the bandits cannot be exhausted."It means that if the meritorious service is to be exhausted, the meritorious service will be overshadowed by the master, and the emperor and the heroes will be very disturbed. It is okay to meet the honest Guo Ziyi, but if they meet the wolf and ambitious Sima Yi, then a bloodbath will inevitably occur.As for the highest grade official, under one person and above ten thousand people, it seems that the glory is unrivaled, but in fact, there are dangers everywhere, and the monarch and his ministers are jealous, and there must be a fight to the death.Nian Gengyao, who was so tall that he could not be appointed, did not expect that he would be demoted to [-] ranks one day later, and finally be bestowed to death.There are two meanings for the bandits not to be killed. One is that the poor bandits should not be chased, and they will fight you desperately if they have nowhere to go;These "endless" are of course reasonable and effective, and they are also a wise way to protect oneself.

In addition, when communicating with people, we should also pay attention to leaving some room.

(End of this chapter)