Men love such a woman: 12 lessons a happy woman must take

Chapter 27 There are details in the rough, the charm of a woman is usually in the details (1)
Perhaps due to the delicate nature of women, it is determined that details have extraordinary significance in a woman's life.As a woman, you will find that a woman's elegant conversation, decent makeup, happy life, and successful career are closely related to your every word, smile, and action.Therefore, the charm of a woman is usually in the details.That glimpse of beauty can only frighten people's eyes in an instant, and the details can exude moving brilliance.

It is often the small movements that ruin the image
Some women don't care about some seemingly small words and deeds that appear on themselves, thinking that they will not damage their image, but they are not.A seemingly ordinary bad habit can often bring you a lot of trouble.

Etiquette and temperament are necessary weapons for a woman in the social field. If you want to be an elegant and lady-like social queen, then you should always pay attention to whether your behavior will damage your image.Women must not let themselves fall into this vicious circle of bad habits. Once you accidentally develop bad habits such as smoking, talking and laughing in public without any scruples, walking, and sitting without any rules, then your temperament will also be affected. will disappear invisibly.

Sometimes, the reason why your temperament loses points is often some bad habits in your daily life.Although carelessness and informality can show the heartiness of your character, it will make you lose your bearing unconsciously.When many girls go shopping together, they like to walk side by side with four or five people, talking while walking. The bodies of four or five people are enough to block a road, which causes great inconvenience to others, and there is no way for others to walk faster. This is very impolite, and your impression in people's minds will be greatly reduced invisibly.

once.The classmates gathered together, and Xiao Min said that she would never cooperate with Xiao Han again.Everyone was surprised, saying that we are all classmates, and cooperation with each other can not only increase the relationship, but also be mutually beneficial in business, why don't you like to cooperate with her?

Xiao Min said: "After so many years, she still hasn't improved at all. I feel like vomiting when I hear her chewing gum. Also, I drag her to negotiate with others. Her body language is too exaggerated. Sometimes she shakes her head and sometimes Clap your hands and laugh, let the other party feel that we are not on the same level as others, how do you do business?"

In fact, Xiaohan is a good person and has many other advantages, but these small problems in self-cultivation and etiquette always hinder her work, but she doesn't care about it, thinking that the mistakes in work are not caused by these trivial problems at all Yes, so she never thought about getting rid of these bad habits of her own.

If you want your temperament to be your main song, and if you want to become the darling in social life, then you must learn the right choice and get rid of those bad habits that are difficult to be elegant.In the following aspects, women should pay special attention to their behavior.

Generally speaking, going in and out of the door is the easiest way to show whether you are elegant and polite, such as: usually when you are the host, maybe you have to leave your friends for a while, or when you are going in and out of the supervisor's office, it is extremely inappropriate to turn your back on people. Polite gestures, therefore, a good entry and exit gesture is roughly facing people most of the time.

For a woman to grasp this principle, take a few steps back facing your friend or supervisor before turning around and leaving the room.

Which hand you use to open the door is also important.If the door is hinged on the left, the door is usually opened with the left hand; if the door is hinged on the right, the door is opened with the right hand.In this way, when opening the door, you can stand sideways in a standard three-quarters posture, face your friend or supervisor, and signal to leave with an expression on your face.On the contrary, it is very easy to form a posture with the back to the person.

The looming pair of beautiful legs in front of Xiangche's car door will always give people unlimited reverie and temptation, showing charming taste and charm.But if you lower your head into the car first, then step in with your legs in turn, and enter the car in a "climbing" posture, leaving your buttocks outside the car, is it still beautiful?If you often enter the car in this posture, you may lose even the most basic courtesy, and you don't know it.It is not rude to enter the car with your body sideways when getting in the car, and never go in head first.When getting out of the car, you should also step down sideways, with your feet stretched out of the car door first, followed by your head, and stand up immediately.

When going up and down stairs, keep your head high, your back straight, your ribs straight, and your hips tucked in.Under normal circumstances, you should put your feet firmly on the stairs to avoid feeling unstable.

Generally speaking, bad habits refer to those bad life details, behavioral habits, and ways of thinking that people accept and form in their daily life, intentionally or unconsciously, slowly.If you can pay attention to what you say and do when those little problems are not yet a habit, then you will not destroy the image you have built by yourself.

Overcome shyness and get along well with others

Most girls have the shyness of still holding the pipa half-hidden, which seems to be synonymous with classical feminine beauty.Although shy, Jiao Didi is really charming.Heart-warming, however, this affects women's social life.

Social communication is an indispensable activity for everyone in modern life. However, many introverted women will feel uneasy in interpersonal communication, and will appear blushing, sweating, rapid heartbeat, stammering and bewilderment. Damage their own image, but also affect their interactions with others.

Wang Xia is a professional woman who has just stepped into the workplace.Although she has graduated from university and joined the work, she has a sense of fear of interacting with other people, and her face turns red when she sees people.Especially when meeting strangers, she would feel an inexplicable nervousness, and her face would blush so much that she could bleed.When she sat side by side with others, she always wanted to look at others. This desire was very strong, but she dared not turn her face to look because of fear.If she had to get in touch with others because of something, no matter whether the other party was a man or a woman, as soon as Wang Xia approached the other party, she would feel flustered, tense, and her face would become hot, and she would not dare to look up at the other party.If the other party is a stranger again, when the distance is about two meters, she will start to feel anxious, her palms will sweat, and her expression will be extremely unnatural.For this reason.She is very afraid of contacting others, and further afraid of going out to do business. Over time, it has seriously affected her work performance and normal life, which made her feel very painful.

Shyness is actually a kind of psychological disorder. The symptoms it shows are: unable to fully express one's inner world, restricting one's words and deeds too much, and even have a feeling of difficulty in interpersonal communication.With such a psychological barrier, it is inevitable that you will fail in interpersonal communication, lose many opportunities that could have been used, and also lose opportunities for success.

If you are a shy woman like Jiang Xia, then you might as well restrain your shyness from the following aspects.

trust yourself
Only if you believe in yourself, that is, self-confidence, you will not bite your fingers at every turn.As a result, they dare not communicate with others, and it is difficult to show their talents.

do some exercise to overcome shyness
Stand on both feet steadily, then gently lift up the heels, hold for a few seconds and then put them down, repeat 30 times each time, do this two or three times a day, you can eliminate the feeling of restlessness.

Shyness makes you short of breath, so forcing yourself to take several deep, rhythmic breaths can ease tension and build a foundation for confidence.

Participate in more social activities

when participating in social activities.You should try to sit in the center of social situations and "intentionally expose yourself".A shy woman tends to sit in a corner when she socializes, afraid of being noticed.This is indeed not easy to attract the attention of others, but it also loses the opportunity for others to know her, so it will cause a result-a lot of opportunities for others to pay attention to you and contact you.

speak louder

Speaking loudly and methodically and insightfully can attract more attention.Shy women tend to slur their speech in social situations and keep their voices low.Raising the pitch of your voice will not only allow more people to hear you, but it will also give you a sense of self-fulfillment, which will increase your confidence to continue speaking.

broaden knowledge
Sometimes your shyness is not entirely due to being overly nervous, but because your field of knowledge is too narrow, or you know too little about what is going on at the moment.If you can often read some extracurricular books, newspapers and magazines, broaden your horizons, and enrich your experience, you will find that you can express your opinions without difficulty in social situations.This will go a long way toward building your self-confidence and overcoming your shyness.

eyes to look at each other
When the other party is talking to you, you must look at the other party's eyes, which is an expression of respect for the other party.But shy women often forget this basic courtesy.Of course, you don't need to stare at the person, but you should let the person know that you are paying attention.If you can't look directly into the person's eyes, you can look at the part below the person's nose.Doing so will also make the other person value your response.

Only by building self-confidence can we eliminate social phobia and be able to socialize successfully. With confidence, you will definitely show your communicative charm on the stage of social life.

Use your eyes skillfully to increase your etiquette quality

The eyes are the windows to the soul, and the eyes are the color of the windows.When your eyes are dull, when your eyes are cold and dull, you lose your femininity.

In interpersonal communication, expressions truly and credibly reflect people's thoughts, emotions and their psychological activities and changes.Moreover, the emotional information conveyed by expressions is much more subtle than words.American psychologist Albert Merabian summed up the effect of human emotional expression into a formula: emotional expression = language (7%) + voice (38%) + expression (55%).

Among them, eyes are an affectionate and implicit silent language, which can often express meanings and emotions that are difficult to express in spoken language.Therefore, women should make good use of their eyes in interpersonal communication.Enthusiastic eyes express friendliness and goodwill, agree with others, and praise others; contemptuous and arrogant eyes mean that people are thousands of miles away, and it is difficult for ordinary people to approach them.

Meng Jia works as a senior secretary in a foreign trade company. She has a stable job and a good salary. She is considered a successful person among her peers.

Every time he goes out, the leader will ask Meng Jia to accompany him.This is not because she is very beautiful, in fact, she is also very ordinary, but she pays more attention to self-cultivation. Whether she is attending company meetings, dances and other activities, or receiving customers, she always puts on a decent makeup, neither It will obscure the light of the leader, but it can also draw the attention of others.What's more important is her graceful demeanor. Whether she is talking to leaders or receiving customers, she always has a smile on her face, neither humble nor overbearing, and uses her eyes to convey information appropriately.She knows that if she is absent-minded during the conversation, always looks around, or dare not look directly at the time, and the gaze time is less than 1/2 of the entire conversation, it will not be easy to gain the trust of the other party, and she will lose the responsibility of a senior secretary .

In fact, outside of work, Meng Jia also pays attention to her manners. She can always get along with friends just right at gatherings. She neither stares at friends of the opposite sex nor squints her eyes to communicate with them. Talking with each other, she vividly expressed her dignified and elegant lady image.Made a good impression on friends.

In communication, eye contact is a common way of communication, but eyes can express different meanings.For example, staring at each other for a moment expresses frankness; staring at each other expresses hostility; squinting glances expresses contempt; staring squarely and staring closely expresses orders; constantly looking up and down expresses provocation; eyes express disgust; blinking eyes express doubts; eyes wide open To express surprise; to squint to express either happiness or contempt; to look left and right, to lower one's head to secretly glance to express embarrassment; to pay attention to express respect, etc.

Everyone's eyes are different, one hundred people have one hundred kinds of eyes.Eyes can be controlled and changed, learn to use your own eyes, let it be like lake water, like the sun, like moonlight, like blue sky...

In communication, pay attention to the time and position of staring at the other party, and pay attention to the etiquette and norms of eyes.

gaze time

When talking with others, don't stare at each other for a long time.Under normal circumstances, the eyes look at each other 50% of the time, and the other 50% of the time looks at 5-10 cm away from the other person's face.For Orientals, you can only stare at each other for 1/3 of the time. It is impolite to stare at each other from beginning to end.In social situations, do not look away when you accidentally meet someone else's eyes. You should look at each other naturally for 1 to 2 seconds, and then leave slowly.When making eye contact with the opposite sex, it should not exceed 2 seconds, otherwise it will cause the other party to make unreasonable guesses.You must grasp the time of gazing according to the object and occasion you are watching.

gaze location

When gazing at the other party, it should be natural, stable and gentle, instead of staring at a certain part of the other party, or constantly looking up and down on the other party's body, this is extremely impolite.Where to look at the other party depends on the information conveyed and the atmosphere created; the specific location of the gaze and the range of gaze should be selected according to different occasions and different objects.

The fixation intervals that people adopt in ordinary social situations are social fixation intervals.The scope of this interval is an inverted triangle area connected by the upper line of the two eyes and the mandibular forehead as the apex.Since gazing at this area is the easiest to form a sense of equality and create a good social atmosphere, people often use it in tea parties, dance parties, receptions, parties and other general social occasions.Focusing on the area of ​​the talker can make the talker relaxed and natural, and can express their views and opinions more freely.

The gaze interval used by people in an intimate relationship when talking is the intimate gaze interval, which mainly looks at the eyes, lips, and chest of the other party.Between lovers, loved ones, looking at these areas can stimulate affection and express love.

dare to face up to each other
Dare to face each other politely in a conversation, which is a kind of frankness, self-confidence and respect for others.Eyes going up, down, squinting, squinting, closing eyes, wandering, wandering, inattentive, etc. during a conversation are taboo eyes in communication.Don't look at the other person when he's embarrassed, and don't look at the other person when the conversation is taking a break or when the conversation has stopped.

Differences between different nationalities and different cultures
There are also differences in the use of eyes in different countries, different ethnic groups, and different cultural customs.For example, in the United States, under normal circumstances, men are not allowed to stare at women; two men cannot look at each other for too long, unless they get the other's acquiescence; when Japanese talk, their eyes should fall on each other's neck. It is impolite to look at each other; the Arab nation believes that no matter who you are talking to, you should look at each other.People in most countries are taboo to look directly at each other's eyes, and even think this kind of gaze is provocative and insulting.

When some women are talking with others, they are always afraid to raise their heads to look at the other party, with a look of "still holding the pipa and half covering their face", thinking that they are beautiful.In fact, this is very impolite behavior.When talking with someone, you should look into the other person's eyes. In addition, you should also remember: don't keep blinking or moving your eyes.

Greetings, affectionate and polite without embarrassment

The main purpose of pleasantries is to break the deadlock in interpersonal communication, to shorten the distance between people, to express one's respect to the conversation partner, or to express to the other party that one is willing to make friends with them.Therefore, when meeting with others, if you can choose appropriate greetings, it will often lay a good foundation for further conversations between the two parties.

Greetings when meeting for the first time
The most standard way to say hello to someone you meet for the first time is: "Hello!", "Nice to meet you", "It's a great honor to meet you".If it is more elegant, you can say: "I have long admired you", or "It is a pleasure to meet you", if you want to be more casual, you can also say: "I have heard of your name a long time ago", "Someone often talks about you to me" Or "I have read your masterpiece a long time ago", "I have heard your report" and so on.

Greetings among acquaintances
When exchanging greetings with acquaintances, the language may be more friendly and specific.You can say "I haven't seen you for a long time", "Meet you again", or you can say: "You look good", "Your hairstyle is awesome", "Your little granddaughter is so cute", "It's so windy today" , "Are you going to work?" Greetings do not necessarily have substantive content, and can be long or short, depending on the person, time, and place, but it must be concise, friendly, and respectful.

Greetings should be brief
Greetings should be simplified, not too stylized, like writing stereotyped essays.For example, when two people meet for the first time, one says: "I've heard about the great name for a long time, it's like thunder, I'm lucky to meet you today", and the other says: "How dare you, how dare you!"

be friendly
Greetings should be friendly and respectful.It is neither allowed to play haha ​​perfunctorily, nor can it be used to tease each other. "Look at your virtue", "Hey, you've gained weight again" and so on should be banned.

When you are introduced to someone, you should greet them.If you just nod to him, or just shake hands, it is usually interpreted as not wanting to have a deep talk with him, not wanting to make friends with him.When you run into an acquaintance, you should also exchange a few words with him.If you turn a blind eye and say nothing, you will inevitably appear arrogant.

Head start, voice can change image

Everyone's voice has unique characteristics. Whether the voice is beautiful or not reflects the degree of cultivation of a person, and the voice can also change a person's image.A woman who knows etiquette must have an elegant and approachable voice.

Mellow and melodious voices are the inherent advantages of women.For the same sentence, the high and low voice and the rising and falling intonation will affect the expression effect, giving people different feelings and evaluations.

(End of this chapter)