Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

But if we add the perspective of a bystander...

It's really strange that I would casually create a controlled nuclear fusion system, or even a clean version of it, just because I want a heater when it's cold.

Since the birthday party, most of the daily life entries in her diary have been like this: either the girl's various inferiority complexes, anxieties, researching higher-level uses of the "All-Round Diet" technique, or creating impossible gadgets like Doraemon because of her own small requests.

This daily life, marked by constant tug-of-war and repetitions in their relationship, finally took a new step in the second year after they met.

It wasn't that someone confessed their feelings, but rather that some truly important information was finally revealed.

—An invitation from the moth that chases the flame.

……

Today I did something despicable. I did all the work and experiments myself, but I pushed it all onto Jiang Cheng, making him bear the responsibility that should have been mine.

If it's just about communicating with others, I can do that too. As long as I don't leave Jiangcheng within three meters, I can communicate with others.

But I ran away from this job simply because I didn't want anything to change.

I don't want to meet or have contact with people outside of Jiangcheng.

I don't want any changes to my already happy life.

This everyday life, as dazzling and beautiful as a bubble in the sunlight, is something I can live happily in. It must... it absolutely must not be popped.

If I hadn't realized that there were deeper things hidden in this world, and that if I didn't actively explore them, I probably wouldn't have accepted Moth of Fire's invitation.

Just because of my own ideas, I forced the young man who embarked on the journey to stay here like me.

I'm truly beyond selfish.

……

……

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

121. This is a dead end [Free]

Kill me...

How could someone as filthy, incompetent, useless, despicable, shameless, and as dark as a rat as me be worthy of staying by Jiangcheng's side!

Obviously...

That was clearly a responsibility I imposed on him.

It's clearly because of me that he's communicating with those strangers he doesn't know.

I...I...I feel fear because of this scene, fear because of the scene of Jiang Cheng and others communicating lightly and calmly.

Just three minutes ago, Jiang Cheng was gently patting my head and comforting me, but in less than three minutes I felt jealous and had negative thoughts.

I really want to perform a full-blown apology in public, even if it attracts strange looks from others, even if Jiang Cheng dislikes me, it's the only way I can express my apology to him.

Foolish and incompetent, always going back on their word after speaking, hypocritical, unable to even express their true feelings.

Just the thought of Jiang Cheng wasting his precious time on me, and his journey coming to an abrupt end because of me, is enough to make me realize how much he has to do.

I really want to be taught a lesson, to use pain to teach this body, which will never be like a normal person, a lesson and a lesson to learn.

juvenile……

They definitely wouldn't do that, would they?

Even if I actively requested punishment and knelt on the ground to hand over the instruments of torture, he would never hurt me; he would only investigate whether I had done something wrong.

A guy like me would actually compare someone as good as Jiang Cheng to Alicia, simply because he is also surrounded by people.

Jiang Cheng and Alicia are two completely opposite people and should not be confused. How can you feel familiar just because of this scene?

……

In a sense, it seems that I am actively seeking an unsettled life.

Because whenever everything quiets down, I can't help but recall and fantasize about the past, as if I were still that lonely person.

It's like a mouse alone in its room, someone who can only leave the room alone, eating hot pot alone, performing alone, watching movies alone, shopping alone...

Without realizing it, the loneliness of being alone seems to be the norm, almost infiltrating the heart, something that has become familiar since birth.

If that kind of life hadn't been so unbearable and difficult to endure, no one could have become one of those so-called people who can enjoy solitude.

Every lonely night and day, I can only stay alone in a dark corner, feeling the emptiness and endless downward spiral in my heart.

I... I might really have to treat this as something acceptable, something normal.

No matter how chaotic or terrible things are, the events that happened with Jiangcheng, even if they are just a jumble of thoughts, are enough to prove time and time again that things are not the same as in the past, and that we have embarked on a new journey.

……

I've been bothered by a lot of people again today. It seems that no matter where you are, the nature of humanity is largely the same. Most people admire the strong and bully the weak, and this doesn't change in many cases as their intelligence increases.

The world is essentially a makeshift operation; national institutions are makeshift operations, corporate institutions are makeshift operations, and even moths drawn to flames are makeshift operations.

No matter how prestigious or renowned an individual may seem to the outside world, or how many titles they may be bestowed upon, they are essentially just ordinary human beings.

It's human.

That means it's bound to have flaws.

It is destined to have flaws that are difficult to change.

No one can keep their nerves constantly on edge, leaving no room for composure, and control all their emotions and behaviors.

Even if the bowstring is pulled too tight, it needs to be eased and relaxed, let alone the more abstract and fragile mind.

Even individuals can exhibit many inappropriate behaviors over a long period of time, let alone a collective that brings together countless individuals.

You might be able to build a Tower of Babel out of sand, but it would be nothing but a magnificent exterior, and could be blown away by a gust of wind.

Stacking straws together cannot create something harder than steel. However, if compressed to the extreme, it might produce a qualitative change, provided that humanity can truly unite in an inseparable way.

I'm not going to think about it anymore. Today was another pleasant day with Jiang Cheng. He's still as dazzling as ever, able to chat happily with anyone. Apart from having trash like me by his side, he has no flaws.

……

Having nothing to do today, I stole a pair of panties and four pairs of socks from Jiangcheng. They were all freshly taken off and were full of the unique scent of a young boy.

Although it has been repaired in time, if it is discovered, all that can be done is to continue to sit down with a full sense of apology and hand over the whip.

As a specially manufactured product, it won't cause any significant harm, only prolonged pain. In that case, Jiang Cheng should be able to accept being taught a necessary lesson.

Anything given or inflicted by Jiang Cheng, even pain, is an important reward and something worth cherishing. If it leaves a mark and proves my relationship with him, that would be even better.

Unfortunately, for the sake of my health, he has always refused to do anything that would cause permanent damage.

She wasn't as delicate as he had imagined.

Even severe injuries can be repaired using medical technology.

what……

I'm such a terrible person!

It's so rotten that even its soul is stinking.

Even his apology was tainted by his own greed.

He must have a tough life every day, having to deal not only with outsiders but also with a perverted rat, trash, and useless person like me.

Even someone like me deserves respect, and I would do everything I can to protect the dignity and so-called face that I never actually had in the first place.

……

Today marks my third month with the Firemoth. I've thoroughly investigated this organization from top to bottom, including its financial backer and all the secrets associated with him. I never imagined they were so well hidden.

Although it's an easy task for me, if I didn't only have to spend a few minutes each day and spend most of my time trying to please Jiangcheng, it would actually only take one day to complete.

At least in this matter, even a useless rat like me can do it.

The organization did indeed provide me with ample resources and funding, just as stated in the contract, and the required working hours were practically nonexistent.

Taking everything into consideration, it's not too bad. The only problem is... they don't seem to like Jiangcheng very much.

Even though I'm just a useless piece of trash, a mere supporting character, a caterpillar that would die if I left Jiangcheng, those old guys with gray beards would rather chat with me than go and talk to Jiangcheng, the owner of the Spiral Workshop.

They talked about trivial things; they had already solved the problems that the others had been pondering and researching their whole lives when I was about three years old.

I'd rather use this time to think about how to make Jiang Cheng happier and get him to accept the rough, painful treatment he's giving me.

The fact that Jiangcheng is disliked...

Shouldn't this be addressed?

The eyes of those elderly people who weren't very articulate looked at them like they were looking at fox demons and monsters from the land of China, like Daji and Meixi who wreaked havoc on the country.

Are they presumptuously believing that they are being dragged down by Jiang Cheng because they spend most of their time trying to please him?

If I weren't a teenager, I would already be "dead" by now. Compared to the countless good-for-nothings like me, someone like him is truly extraordinary, truly worthy of praise, and worthy of being admired.

While strictly speaking this isn't really a problem, I do have quite a bit of experience when it comes to dealing with other people causing trouble.

but……

It seems Jiangcheng did this to protect me.

She will spend more time with me every day.

I am such a damned ingrate, I should be trampled on, stomped in the mud, beaten until I am bruised and battered, and I deserve to stay in a doghouse.

If this were discovered, even Jiang Cheng would never be able to forgive it easily.

……