Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

that's true.

If you stay with Alicia all the time, it's normal to be unaware that there are dark places in the world and that there are useless people who only know how to wallow in self-pity.

I'm so sorry...

I seem to have tarnished perfection.

They probably already had nowhere else to go.

Please allow me, as lowly as a rat, to continue defiling you whenever I have the chance.

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

……

It was another wonderful day.

I can see Jiang Cheng every morning when I wake up, and I can chat with Jiang Cheng while I'm working. He offers me help by asking about my well-being and serving me tea and water.

This is something I should be doing, but he always says, "When someone is doing mental work, someone else has to do physical work."

From that day on, I experienced things every day that I could never have imagined before.

Being cared for and loved... these are things I wouldn't even dare to fantasize about.

Today is another day to thank Alicia.

Although it may sound despicable to say this, if it weren't for her, someone like me probably would never have met Jiang Cheng in my entire life.

Let alone spending time together like we do now, it would be impossible for someone like the boy and me to even bump into each other.

The only problem is that I still don't dare to confess my feelings.

They didn't even dare to express their feelings directly.

Just looking into those eyes, filled with concern, made it impossible for me to reveal my own base and filthy greedy desires.

No matter what I say about it being defiled, or how I say that once I've made a decision, I'll go all the way and never hesitate, I ultimately don't have the guts.

Even though he could do that when facing Alicia.

They were willing to gamble everything on it.

They would dare to charge recklessly even if they were facing a cliff.

Why is it that I can't find even a shred of courage at the very last step? Even if I open my lips, all I can say is "hello."

Trying to confess your feelings via text message, even though you're only separated by a wall, the final message will only be a simple "Are you there?"

Although there's no need for a confession, someone like me is content as long as I can be bathed in sunlight; I don't need to crave anything more.

But without some definitive proof... I'll probably just start to feel sorry for myself again.

I'm still really worried that Jiangcheng will leave.

It will suddenly disappear like bubbles, leaving only a pile of bubble water. If you dip your finger in it, it may taste slightly sweet, but it is also poisonous.

If this life is just a bubble in the sunlight, only briefly dazzling, then I definitely wouldn't be able to accept living alone anymore.

Is there any way to make him remember me so vividly, so that he will never forget me?

Perhaps we can reuse that secret technique from before.

……

Today, after making a mistake, I couldn't help but apologize in that inappropriate way again.

It was clearly me who did something I shouldn't have done.

I was the one who did something only a psychopath would do.

Jiang Cheng's face remained calm and peaceful, showing no sign of being unhappy or disappointed that I had messed things up.

The only emotional fluctuation he experienced wasn't due to dissatisfaction with the mess he made, but rather because the way he apologized was so humble and shameless.

"—This kind of behavior with a touch of emotion can indeed bring joy, but this little bit of pleasure can never compare to my love for you right now."

Don't bow down in front of me for anything, because I care more about your dignity than your trivial hobbies...

That sounds like something he would say; only someone like him would say something like that to someone like me.

Hearing this made me feel even more apologetic. The thought that I might have done something to hurt Jiang Cheng made me want to be taught a lesson, preferably a harsh and cruel one, to make the memory more profound, so that my body would remember it and never make such a mistake again.

Well……

The thought that I would still disobey Jiang Cheng's advice and make the same mistake again after making it, prompts me to perform a full-body apology.

To make mistakes after making them, to use despicable methods to blackmail others even when you know they are not allowed, and to want to be punished just to express your apology, and to be clearly warned that these things cannot be done.

Sure enough, someone like me, a rat in the gutter, is perhaps as disgusting as a spider, and I can't even find peace and tranquility by staying near him.

This pampering and gentleness is completely unsuitable for trash like me. I need to be taught a lesson first before I can even understand human language.

-

This was the last ripple in several subsequent diary entries. From then on, the girl would always use this inappropriate, excessively humble method to please herself in the story at crucial moments.

Although from the beginning this humility could not bring him any pleasure, but instead he felt helpless and could only sigh silently.

This is not just my own guess.

This is not a glorification of the past.

It is an emotion that truly comes from the bottom of one's heart.

Losing memories and the past can, in a sense, be understood as losing the personality and self constituted by those memories.

Human beings are not so weak and powerless. All the feelings in life are not limited to memory. Those excitements, those sorrows, those angers, some will be engraved in a deeper place.

That is something that cannot be explained by the theoretical basis of matter, something that countless scholars and geniuses throughout history have been unable to explore, something called the soul.

Perhaps in materialism.

Talking about the soul seems ridiculous.

Aside from a few believers, no one in this world who has received a rigorous education would believe that the soul truly exists in the world.

But if this world can be struck by a completely unreasonable disaster called Honkai, and even a unique life form like the Herrscher can be born.

Can the word "soul" really be denied so easily?

Is it really not because human technology cannot explore the soul or higher levels, and therefore we presume it doesn't exist?

That feeling has long been deeply engraved in my soul. So-called forgetting is just a temporary misstep. As long as I see that moment again, as long as I recall that time, even if it is just a tiny bit, it is enough to touch my heart.

Perhaps many more memories remain sealed away, and even now, the name of the girl in the diary is still unknown. The diary is filled with detailed descriptions, but none of them are related to her own life.

The only place that might have recorded names and the past has been completely torn away, leaving no trace of writing.

This feeling is enough to be felt the moment you take that perspective.

—A sense of helplessness born of disappointment and frustration.

The girl clearly possessed such extraordinary talent.

Despite possessing a beauty that would move even Alicia, her childhood friend, and be etched in her memory, and a figure so stunning that she could make someone prostrate themselves before her, the girl regarded her dignity and everything about her as lighter than a feather, as cheap as a pebble on the roadside.

Even a stone, a stone that can be kneaded and trampled on at will, would never intentionally come closer to rub against your foot.

Why……

Why are you so self-deprecating?

You have accomplished something that even Alicia could not do.

You have proven that your courage shines brighter than any rare metal in the world.

Every component that makes up you is unattainable, unimaginable, and something that ordinary people wouldn't even dare to dream of.

Even if you insist on feeling so inferior, at least first understand that this wonderful, happy, and warm life is something you earned with your own two hands.

Having already defeated the Demon King and married the princess as a hero, let's settle down and cherish this happy life, even if it's just a prize.

--No.

Possessing boundless courage and talent, the hero defeated the seemingly invincible Demon King, a figure whose mere presence required immense effort to confront, and received his due reward. The hero, who was destined to live a blissful life with the princess, was instead defeated by a tiny monster by the roadside.

No matter how you look at it, this is a joke that could only have been born from surrealism, or even something that should have been a form of comedic entertainment.

This is essentially the same as a world-class swimmer drowning in a shallow area of ​​ten centimeters, where they would have to lie face down just to touch the water.

People who are good at swimming are often the easiest to drown, but there is a prerequisite that the rivers they are going to challenge are truly hellish in difficulty.

Humans can slip on a banana peel while walking, or accidentally bump into a stone and fall, but an obstacle should never be just a grain of sand.

Ironically, this surreal scene actually occurred in reality, right in front of Jiang Cheng's hands, holding a diary that recorded everything about a certain girl.

The mighty hero was not only defeated by the monster, but would have died if it weren't for the princess's all-out efforts to provide healing buffs.

After that prostration, the girl's mood did not improve at all despite her attempts to stop it.

This expectation and hope that the girl would stop engaging in such a humiliating act as a full-body prostration, trampling all her dignity and self-respect into the mud, was not only useless, but also had the opposite effect.

The girl originally only performed a full-length kotatsu to express her apology when she made a mistake, so the psychological pressure she suffered was not too deep.

But ever since she expressed her dislike for that scene, the girl has had to endure a lot of psychological pressure even to perform such humble acts.

That's really outrageous.

Jiang Cheng turned to the end of the third month of his new journey in this excessively long diary, which seemed to have been treated with some unique technology that could condense a terrifying amount of information into a single book.

The girl did not become any more lively or cheerful, or at least less self-conscious, despite my careful help and persuasion.

It's not that nothing has changed; at least his identity as a scholar and genius is constantly being strengthened, and he is learning about everything in a miraculous way.

Their original wisdom was already unattainable and unimaginable, like the ultimate genius that only exists in games and anime.

After embarking on a brand new journey with herself, even the constant anxiety and uncertainty is better than the abyss and poison built by loneliness and solitude. The girl actually becomes more diligent and focuses on learning.

At least they didn't give up like others, saying they weren't worthy, but in reality, they didn't accept their unworthiness with a clear conscience. Instead, they tried their best to keep moving forward in order to fulfill their own desires.

Although for that girl, her own inferiority complex made her feel that no matter how hard she tried, she was never good enough for this wonderful thing.

It might be quite sweet to watch from the perspective of someone directly involved.