Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

The sandstorm has stopped, but this is not natural. The endless destructive energy sweeping through these ruins will continue to circulate like the ebb and flow of the tides, perhaps until the day the world is destroyed.

[Simply because you don't want any more noise in your ears, even if there's only a slight chance it will bother you.]

[The natural disaster that had raged and surged here for countless years, preventing even the world's serpents from setting foot here, vanished so easily.]

Isn't this the capricious nature of a life called a Herrscher?

Just like how humans arbitrarily reshape the world.

You gently turn to the next page of your diary, and without realizing it, your pursuit of the beauty recorded within seems to have outweighed your search for the truth. Or perhaps, the pursuit of beauty is itself the search for the truth.

The story unfolds day by day, with farces of all sizes taking place. The diary entries seem to depict a truly perfect fairy tale, a thousand times more intense than the sweetest candy in the world. Just a gentle taste on the tongue is enough to transport you to a beautiful paradise.

From that day on, my writing became more plain and simple—this doesn't mean there were no more dramatic moments to write about; on the contrary, the waves that once surged are now far too numerous to mention.

Hiding in a dark corner, concealed in a ditch, all one can see is a narrow ripple, a sliver of light accidentally cast by.

Like a frog in a well, unaware of how vast the world is, it assumes that what it sees is the whole world.

[Whether it's her intelligence, talent, or the experiences she's had, few in the world can compare to her.]

[But I have a wealth of experience; I've seen these mountains, I've seen this sea, I've seen how flowers bloom, how water flows, and how clouds drift across the sky.]

The most magnificent scenery, the most desolate ruins—a scene unimaginable even in dreams, because the materials are incomplete, and even with all one's efforts, it cannot be pieced together—was once merely a path casually trodden by a young girl.

[However, they lack the exploration of their own hearts, and do not know what feelings their inner emotions bring. For a lonely person, stepping into the world alone only makes them feel more empty and more alone.]

[My already impoverished heart yearns for more spacious places, even losing the sense of security I feel in a cramped room. I can't hear an echo when I speak; there's no surprise of discovering the truth, only loneliness.]

Although the beginning of the diary had been torn out, the girl later mentioned that she had worked as a magician, performing the most thrilling tricks, creating miracles with her talent, and chasing applause and cheers after her performances with one thrill after another.

[Essentially, it's about seeking recognition; even if you're incredibly lonely inside, you might find yourself amidst thunderous applause.]

[Although it was later proven to be meaningless.]

Like an anesthetic, it temporarily numbs the mind.

Before the disaster struck, technology had reached its zenith, allowing anyone to access boundless knowledge through the fast-paced internet—a level of knowledge that the ancients could never have attained in their entire lives.

However, contrary to the expectations of many ancient people, the dissemination of this knowledge did not lead to much progress, nor did it create a perfect, utopian world.

[On the contrary, it has spawned many people who use short videos to kill time, using one thing after another to relieve boredom that only brings physical smiles.]

There are many reasons for this behavior, one of which is that lonely people can barely survive by peeking into the lives of others through a crack in the door.

The most incurable forms of wear and tear, of spiritual barrenness, are those that originate from within; the only way to fill that void is to have the ability and opportunity to do something else.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this, because the term "wasting time" was coined by humans. If one can find pleasure in things that seem like a waste of time, then it can't be called a waste of time.

An individual's life is insignificant compared to the vastness of the world; if one cannot make good use of their time, life becomes like purgatory.

The only problem is...

[Is this really of any use?]

Can this kind of happiness truly be called genuine happiness, or is it merely a way to kill time and escape an empty self?

Just like being in a bustling crowd, you might think you're not alone, as if you have friends you can chat with. But in reality, when the crowd disperses and everyone leaves hand in hand with their friends, you're still left alone in the same place.

This statement may have seemed somewhat abstract to you before, as you hadn't experienced it firsthand, so you couldn't fully empathize with it.

You can read the girl's sadness in the text, the feeling of being looked at with strange eyes despite being a vulnerable person.

A highly utilitarian society seems to accept only the ordinary, only the universally accepted, and not any individual characteristics.

Anyone who behaves differently from what others consider normal will be despised and torn apart by the tide of public opinion.

[When no price is paid, the evil in human nature and the instinctive xenophobia are more terrifying than any calamity in the world.]

Human intelligence decreases as population grows; the more people there are, the dumber they become, and the more likely they are to blindly follow the crowd and attack those who are different.

You once believed that unless you experienced it firsthand, most empathy in the world is nothing but a false lie.

[It wasn't until this day, when you looked at the diary as an amnesiac bystander, that you realized your arrogance.]

Even without personal contact, without experience, even without visuals, there are only words arranged in the diary.

This emotion seems to transcend the barriers of time, resonating with the soul, and unfolding like a scroll in words before your eyes.

The girl's inferiority complex and self-loathing stemmed from the fact that despite having achieved a life she never dared to dream of, she was constantly plagued by anxiety and insecurity. She couldn't even bear it herself and didn't believe she deserved this life.

[Every day I sway in the towering waves I've created for myself, yet I'm also on a warm, large ship, feeling no ripples whatsoever.]

The deep-seated inferiority and uncertainty within me were gradually dispelled by the Jiangcheng and my former self recorded in the diary, proving my authenticity with love and reassurance.

No matter what happens, no matter what state I'm in, it will all eventually be easily calmed and resolved by the self I write about in my diary.

[Perhaps it's because the writing is so excellent, this diary entry reads like a captivating novel, with your appearance being the climax.]

[Simply by making an appearance, a few sweet words are enough to solve all problems, even though the solution lies in manipulating the girl's psychology.]

[As long as she doesn't suffer from low self-esteem, at least not in the short term, the talent the girl has shown is enough to accomplish everything.]

……

Eh eh eh eh——

I actually... I actually behaved in such an inappropriate way in front of Jiang Cheng!

It is something that should absolutely not be shown to anyone, something that needs to be buried deep in one's heart forever, and something that should not be revealed to the outside world in the slightest.

How could Jiang Cheng discover something that could only be kept in the shadows, something that would be despised or even cursed at if seen?

We've already achieved great success, we've already solved all the problems, so why does an error and a problem occur at the last step?

They were all ready to start a new life together with Jiang Cheng. They had even defeated Alicia and crossed the seemingly insurmountable abyss.

After persisting for so long, why can't I resist relieving stress?

How could we have overlooked this one thing?

Is it really because I've lived alone for too long and can't find any friends to keep me company? So much so that even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to treat them well or adapt to them?

If a rat stays in the shadows for too long, it will become covered in the stench of the sewers, lose its sight, and become afraid of even the light, unable to accept the stimulation.

Not to mention rats, spiders, and other creatures that are born to live in the shadows and are considered pests or trash.

what……

what……

We're doomed.

Jiangcheng, he...

They must think I'm a very dirty person.

I'm sure I will.

Having done such a thing, having acted such a thing, even if Jiang Cheng doesn't say it, he must hate me in his heart.

A gentle person like him would never directly criticize or hurt others. Even if someone like me did such a thing, he wouldn't directly criticize me; he would just keep it to himself.

No.

Absolutely not.

It is absolutely unacceptable that someone would hold such a terrible memory in their heart!

If things continue like this, I'll definitely lose him. If there's really no other way—since I've already shown that abnormal side of myself in front of him, it seems the only way is to go all the way down.

I have now made my choice, whether it was subjective or unintentional, and all I can do is carry out this decision.

Let that perfect boy be tainted with some darkness.

Be more aggressive, be more rude.

I happened to be traveling in the Far East when I heard about an absolute secret technique. Legend has it that once used, it leaves behind a memory that no one can easily forget, one that can erase all other impressions.

It seems like it's time to use that.

I heard that the highest level of that skill is prostrating oneself on the ground.

Besides my hands, feet, and forehead, I also need two other places to be pressed firmly against the floor. I don't know if I can reach the highest level.

Dignity and status are nothing compared to Jiangcheng.

If I can keep them, I don't care what it takes to pay the price.

I just want to savor this moment of warmth a little longer.

"I accept your apology. If I feel like I can't release stress next time, I can go on a trip with you. You don't have to worry that I will hate traveling. I don't really care whether I'm in the sky or in a room."

"The only thing I care about is who is walking beside me, and whether she will look at me?"

"—Stop doing this, or I'll have to sit down too."

Jiang Cheng seemed to dislike my humble behavior, and even ignored my perverted actions. Even considering the highest effect of looking at the manual, the erosion of my memories was a bit too much.

……

Chapter 118 has an error.

I just woke up and was adjusting my sleep schedule when I accidentally clicked the wrong button. That chapter was supposed to be released for free, but it was rejected, so it was given a different name. I didn't expect it to turn out like that. I'll ask the editor tomorrow if it can be changed.

Ah... it feels like I've been suffering from colds and preparing for colds for a long time. When I was writing this book, apart from the beginning when I was in better condition and had no symptoms, I could hardly find any normal time. I really need to take better care of my health.

You all need to take good care of yourselves, because it's going to get colder here again in a couple of days.

According to normal years, the really cold weather hasn't even arrived yet.

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

120. Wilvi: I'm truly hopelessly selfish. [Free]

Is it because they have never seen a rat in a dark corner in their past lives, and cannot imagine the huge differences in personality between people?

All I know is the beauty under the sunlight, the petals blowing in the wind, and the birds dancing in the forest. With a slight flap of their wings, they create a dreamy pink glow.