Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

……

Eh……

Jiangcheng?

I never imagined that a gentle boy would say such things.

Even in his occasional fantasies, a boy could never become so unreasonable and willful.

Even under my past training and guidance, they would at most become somewhat abnormal and violent, and after confirming that it would not cause any bad consequences, they would choose to vent their emotions.

Unlike before, when he was unpredictable and seemed to tolerate everything, as if everyone would receive the boy's greatest tenderness and love, it was this somewhat rough behavior that confirmed that the person named Jiang Cheng was essentially just an ordinary mortal who was prone to favoritism.

My act of wanting them all is dividing the uniqueness and preciousness of love, but in a sense it also confirms my firm determination not to let go of any of them.

Because of greed, because of shamelessness, because of being a bad person, I will not give up the love in front of me, so I will take on all emotions like a monster.

For Jiang Cheng, this should be considered the greatest insult, to make someone who values ​​emotions and love so much, a pure love warrior who, in terms of the weight of emotions alone, is no less than anyone else in the world, do such a thing.

Even though he felt disgusted and bit his lip until it bled, he still chose to offer a way out and reach out to the boy.

How could one possibly deny it?

……

……

What right do I have?

What right do I have?

In front of the boy who already has a new lover, in front of a new lover who has never made any mistakes... unlike Alicia who was deprived of her emotions by so-called wishes and even suffered two deaths, and unlike herself who made him live in pain in the world for a long time.

Faced with a girl who truly and wholeheartedly loves a boy, how could someone like me be worthy of participating in this pleasurable feast?

Just the fact that it appeared in front of her and Jiang Cheng was enough to spoil the mood, like a cockroach or a rat in the sewer, annoying and bothersome.

Vilvi still remembered the ending that Alicia had told her about the boy's first time, an ending where he died alone in loneliness and solitude.

That's why he rejected even Mebius's suggestion to prolong his life, or even to become a higher level of being and gain great power. He gave up on treating his body and, against his instincts, dragged himself to his death little by little.

……

246. Velvet: Mei, let go of Jiangcheng!

With Mebius's abilities, even if he is not as good as himself, it would be easy for him to save a Honkai disease patient. As the young man is the minister, as long as he is willing, the world's top medical rescue will unconditionally provide him with the most and the most unlimited rescue services.

Even so, I would rather die slowly.

Even so, I would rather my body be filled with pain.

Even so, I don't want to see even a single glimpse of this beautiful world.

This was clearly not death from illness, but suicide, a form of burial. However, it was an involuntary suicide, not an immediate act of burial. Because in order not to let the life he had saved with his own life pass away meaninglessly, and unwilling to live in a lonely world where only one person remained, he created meaning and made contributions while waiting for death to come.

I don't want to die, nor do I want to live. My body and soul are suffering immense torment. There's nothing in this world I'd want to hold onto, but because this life was saved by someone I love, I can't just give it up so easily.

what……

That's incredibly cruel.

Is there any torture more terrifying than this?

Her fingertips, pressed tightly against the ground, remained clenched, covered in dust and soil, yet refused to stop. Beneath her forehead, buried in her long hair and pressed against the messy, broken pavement, lay eyes filled with utter self-loathing. All her anger was directed at herself, her pearly teeth, which had bitten her soft lips until they bled, concealed an unbearable hatred for herself.

From the very beginning of Alicia's narration, she began to hate herself again, hating this incompetent self who couldn't do anything.

The so-called final plan was something that even the two key figures hadn't anticipated, and they hadn't expected Alicia to be so weak and incompetent.

She never imagined that the boy's feelings for her would reach the point where he was willing to die for her, willing to endure all kinds of torment and still give up his last hope.

—How am I worthy?

—Why should I?

He trusted me so much, loved me so much, yet I couldn't even make him fall in love with someone else after my death, so that he could have a better life.

If only they had thought a little more at the time, included more people in the plan, and prepared more backup plans, Jiang Cheng's life would have been less painful, and he could have at least lived a happy and fulfilling life.

Why didn't I think of that?

Why weren't you prepared?

Why can't they think more, calculate more, and at least make use of some of the useless, trashy talent that the boy could proudly call genius?

……

People with low self-esteem often feel uncomfortable with the care and love of others, believing that they are not worthy of it. The more care they receive, the more this feeling is triggered. When this emotion reaches its limit, all the unexpressed dissatisfaction and disgust will turn into inner anger.

The girl is facing not just simple inferiority, but a storm of guilt and self-loathing stemming from the backlash of love itself.

Jiangcheng, he...

He truly gave his life to fulfill the most sincere promise.

When the boomerang came, all the distrust of this burning love, all the insecurity, and the experiences that required the boy to spend a lot of time carefully comforting him all turned into inner thorns.

At this moment, Wilvi truly felt why her other self had fallen asleep, and it was even more intense and devastating than simply falling asleep.

—I want to die.

I really want to die.

How can a piece of trash who hurt the boy so many times, made the boy have to go to so much trouble to comfort him, and ultimately did nothing deserve to live?

Such a shameless life, a piece of trash who can do nothing but boast about his position and can't even protect his loved ones, will only continue to waste other people's vital resources for survival in this world.

From an outsider's perspective, saving others is not a mistake at all, and dealing with the aftermath is not something that the deceased should be responsible for. A person who disregards their own life in order to protect and save others should not be punished even if they did not do a good job.

The girl has really done a great job saving lives. She has saved a life from an absolute catastrophe, a life of a boy who has no theoretical resistance to Honkai energy and is just an ordinary person.

But for Vilvie, the mere fact that she was living a painful life as a teenager was enough to make her hate herself to the point of wanting to die.

Nothing is greater than a boy, nothing in the world can compare to anything related to a boy, a boy's emotions are the most important thing... These are the principles that the girl has engraved in her soul from the very beginning.

Even derivative elements, such as mood swings, desires, dreams, and favorite things, are important.

How could a girl who would give her all for a month just for a little smile or a tiny bit of joy possibly accept years of suffering caused by her own mistake?

unacceptable.

Can not accept.

Just thinking about this mistake makes me dizzy. After seeing the boy in person, I can no longer cover it up by thinking about letting him punish me personally, or by prioritizing finding the boy and making sure he is safe.

Words like, "You bastard, let go of Jiang Cheng! Let go of that place of yours!" are spoken, making him sound more like a clown.

……

The fact that Shi sat down on the ground did not improve his mindset. Instead, the selfish desire to stay by the boy's side fueled his self-loathing and ignited new flames of resentment.

Just like a snowball thrown down a snow mountain, once it has rolled its first round, its growth is unstoppable.

Until the boy's voice slowly approached, as if it had foreseen all of this, forcefully and brutally stopping the escalation of the anger.

"Don't refuse!"

"No rebuttal allowed!"

"And you are not allowed to deny it!"

"Whatever you're thinking right now, throw it all away. If you have anything you want to do, get over here right now. Before my little revenge is over, none of you are qualified to do anything else."

……

……

There was no need to look up; just by judging from the breath, one could clearly picture the unique scene on the boy's face in their mind.

It was by no means a verbal expression of dissatisfaction or rudeness, nor a posture that seemed like that of a tyrant or a foolish ruler. It was almost a forced demand that he trample his dignity underfoot and into the mud. The deepest part of his eyes, the inner emotions that even light could hardly touch, were absolutely delicate and sad.

Jiang Cheng is not such a wicked person at all.

To call it gentle might be an overstatement.

It's not that I accept everything without question, nor am I a weak and incompetent person who will silently endure persecution.

They will eat the sugar-coated bullets offered by others and throw the bullets back. If they can't tolerate something annoying, they will not hesitate to retaliate. Due to their lazy nature, they may even attack extremely thoroughly, leaving no possibility of future trouble or problems.

However, no matter what, he was just an ordinary person, an ordinary person whose heart was softer and more fragile than anyone else's.

Excessive politeness and avoidant aloofness stemming from past experiences can even give others the illusion that they are being treated with equal care.

I don't want to hurt others, nor do I want to cause trouble for others because of my own reasons, and I will try my best to be tolerant of those I care about.

For such a gentle and ordinary boy to utter such harsh words, to become like this, and to do such things, it must be either extreme anger or such deep care and love that he is willing to break his own bottom line.

The girl was too lazy to delve into where she ranked, or perhaps her observation was too obvious, leaving no room for self-doubt.

If you truly hate or are truly dissatisfied, you won't choose to get close. As a pure love enthusiast, a young man would also be extremely disgusted by his own infidelity and would absolutely not accept the possibility of hurting his lover.

This was clearly a bottom line that the boy had never willingly crossed.

Alicia had to use amnesia to break the bottom line.

Now, however, he is willing to let his incompetent self join this silver party while he is embracing his lover and being intimate with his beloved.

Isn't this the greatest forgiveness, the greatest mercy, even towards a good-for-nothing who always boasts but can't do anything right?

— Jiang Cheng's fear stems from his fastidiousness regarding love.

—Because they were afraid of being abandoned.

Even Alicia, who was the most important person in Alicia's life since childhood, only had the opportunity to become the boy's lover after she herself had completely died, and after the boy had died once, and even lost a lot of emotions due to the side effects of her wish and resurrection.

Back when she was with Moth of the Flame, she was very reserved in expressing goodwill towards Möbius, and even when giving him a birthday present, she would drag him along.

Having lived together for so many years, there has been no infidelity or dissatisfaction. He doesn't even want to glance at any other woman besides himself.

A young man like this, who pursues sincere love and is willing to give his all, even willing to sacrifice his life for his lover, is perfectly normal even if he can only have room for one person in his heart.