People in America: My Uncle Don Quixote

The family managed to understand the details of these expenses only with the help of Google Translate.

General anesthesia: US$14250; Private bill for attending physician, assistant physician, and anesthesiologist: US$25335.12.

Where did this damn $0.12 come from? Do they charge by the second?

Operating room rental fee (3.5 hours total) + some supplies: US$62400!

Is my dad on some kind of spaceship project? The surgery, which lasts over 3 hours, costs more than $6!

Looking at the densely packed other bills, although he didn't want to admit it, there was a moment when Wang Haoran really wished that Wang Qiang wasn't his father.

If I had a middle-class white father with insurance, I certainly wouldn't have encountered this situation!

Now that's good, they're moving away!

"Okay," Ms. Palmer said, wriggling her large body, "I must remind you, well... although the rent in Sunset Park is cheaper, and both Sunset Park and Flushing are areas with large Chinese populations, it still can't compare to the living conditions in Flushing."

"I know," Wang Haoran was still angry, "but my father just had surgery, and he's on a weekly wage without insurance, so..."

"God bless you, and I hope your father recovers soon," Ms. Palmer said, giving him a sympathetic look. "So, your landlord is refusing to renew your lease now?"

"Yes," Wang Haoran said with a frown, "After the landlord found out about the bill, he refused to renew the lease for our family, so we had to temporarily rent a house in Sunset Park."

He didn't mention that it was a small basement with a monthly rent of $850, excluding utilities, a humidity level consistently above 75%, and a roof covered with a crisscrossing network of cast iron drainpipes.

"Oh my God, that's terrible," Ms. Palmer said, giving him a sympathetic look. "What's your father's credit score now? Is it 500?"

"No change," Wang Haoran shook his head. "It's still 720, barely at an excellent level."

"I guessed so," Ms. Palmer couldn't help but ask. "Logically, your credit score shouldn't change for at least another month. How did the landlord know? You know, kid, if you run into some problems, the school can arrange for a lawyer to help you."

"No, Ms. Palmer," Wang Haoran explained, barely containing his anger. "Our landlord is a doctor, and he found out about my father's bills through the hospital's system."

Damn landlord, we all speak Chinese, why can't we help this family?

"Well..." Ms. Palmer submitted the updated system. "Good luck, and I wish your father a speedy recovery... Also, if you need to find some part-time work, you can contact me."

...

When Li Wei returned home from his part-time job that evening, he found Don Quixote drinking with José.

"Hey, nephew," Don Quixote raised his cup, "come and have a drink with me."

"Do you know I can't legally drink alcohol until I'm 21?" Li Wei laughed as he joined them. "You won't get custody of me if you do that."

"Fuck! Who cares about them!" Don Quixote slurred drunkenly. "I'm telling you, Susan bought that building in the Bronx today! It's now under our asset management company's name!"

"Congratulations!" Li Wei picked up a can of beer and clinked it against his. "How many shares did you have again? 5%? Does that mean your net worth has suddenly become $5?"

"5?" Don Quixote wagged his finger. "Wrong! It's $126! Susan spent $12.6 million to buy the rest of the building and even offered me a 10% stake!"

"But I believe," he said, "that in less than six months, that $126 million will grow to $400 million, or even more."

"When you're ready to go to college a year from now," he said smugly, "I can cash out this share and cover your college tuition."

"I also want to thank Tang for giving me this opportunity," José said, raising his glass. "He was willing to give my wife and me a job and teach me how to get a work permit through asylum."

"But you should also be careful," Don Quixote warned, "you need to stay here for at least 180 days without any criminal record, otherwise you won't get a work permit, and without a work permit I can't provide you with insurance."

"In addition, I need you to quit drugs for the next 180 days," he said. "You can't do it again after that."

"I swear on my wife's and my lives," José immediately assured him, "I'll do whatever you say."

"Thank Susan, she's the one who gave you a chance," Don Quixote said with a smile. "Besides, I'm now a senior manager at 'Summit' Asset Management."

After José left, Don Quixote told Levi privately that his salary had been increased from $3500 after tax to $15000 before tax per month.

Susan has agreed to hire him as a full-time employee and provide him with medical and various insurances.

While this might not be considered a top-tier income in New York, it's certainly respectable enough these days.

儘管加上19%的联邦所得税、6.2%的FICA工资税、6.2-6.5%的纽约州所得税、3.4-3.6%的纽约市所得税，最终15000美金税后能拿到9700多美金。

Moreover, another $2000 in alimony will be deducted, reducing the pre-tax amount from $15000 to $7700 after tax, effectively cutting it in half.

If it weren't for Susan's connection that allowed Don Quixote to live in his current house for free, he would probably have to pay a quarter of the rent.

After deducting the medical insurance, utilities, internet, and telephone bills that Don Quixote planned to buy, Don Quixote estimated that he would only have about $3000 more disposable income than his previous after-tax income of $3500.

But this is still a significant step forward!

This means that Don Quixote has finally escaped that damned Alice in Wonderland! He has good health insurance, a proper job, and is back in the normal social system. And most importantly, he can finally save money! He can go to the hospital for treatment!

"Congratulations!" Li Wei was genuinely happy for him. "You can finally breathe a sigh of relief now."

"It's alright," Don Quixote said modestly. "It's even less than what I earned in my first year at JPMorgan Chase after graduating from the University of Chicago 20 years ago. My first year's salary was already $20 before taxes."

"You were that awesome before?" Li Wei asked in surprise.

"Hmph!" Don Quixote snorted. "Your uncle was once the youngest VP (Vice President) in JPMorgan Chase's investment banking division. I became an ED (Senior Vice President) when I was 30."

Investment banking job titles are usually exaggerated. Although they are called VPs, they are actually just employees who are two levels above newcomers. EDs are upper-middle-level employees who are one level above VPs.

"That was the height of my fame," Don Quixote said, lost in his memories. "I remember I passed my dissertation defense the day after my 30th birthday and was promoted to ED. Do you know how much money I made back then?"

He drunkenly gestured: "80 US dollars! Even after deducting 45% tax, I could earn more than 4 US dollars a month on average! At that time, I really didn't want to drive. I would take a taxi whenever I went out, and I would always travel in first class and stay in international 5-star hotels."

That was $80 15 years ago; now it would be at least a million dollars a year.

"Including meals," Don Quixote chuckled. "You know, one of the advantages of working in investment banking is that we don't have to pay for meals; we can get reimbursed no matter how expensive the restaurant is."

"So, our investment banking staff eat at Michelin-starred restaurants at least 70% of the time each week, because it's all on behalf of our clients," he said. "As for the company itself? They don't really care; it's an industry norm."

"Once, I actually took a client to a restaurant he'd always eaten at since he was a kid. The two of them spent over $200," he said, laughing until tears streamed down his face. "And when I went to get reimbursed, the finance department frowned at it for a long time. Do you know what they said?"

"What did you say?" Li Wei asked.

"Because the two of you only spent a little over $200, which is too cheap," he laughed, "so it doesn't meet the company's regulations for client entertainment and can't be reimbursed! Hahahaha, damn it! Eating at a Michelin three-star restaurant costing over $400 per person is reimbursed without a second thought, but a cheap restaurant costing a little over $100 per person can't be reimbursed because it's too cheap..."

As he spoke, he took another big gulp of beer.

When he wanted to buy a new can, he was disappointed to find that he had only bought a dozen beers, which were already finished.

"I...I'll go buy some more wine," he said, swaying as he stood up. "We're happy today...let's drink some more..."

Li Wei managed to stop him.

"What about the champagne I brought back last time?" he asked. "That's high-end stuff, have you finished it?"

Don Quixote shook his head somewhat blankly.

After Li Wei helped him to the sofa, he rummaged through the refrigerator and found a large bottle of champagne that he had brought back from the boutique last time (Chapter 40).

Since there were no champagne glasses, Li Wei simply found two paper cups and poured the champagne into them.

"This is the most worthwhile moment to celebrate," he said. "Cheers to your first step back on the road!"

"Cheers...cheers!" Don Quixote said slowly. "I'm really happy today, you know?"

"I'm genuinely happy today, I mean it," he repeated. "You know... when that bitch kicked me out, I told myself I... I was going to take back everything that was rightfully mine. I thought... I'm fucking better than those losers who couldn't even get into community college, right?"

Livy realized that Don Quixote was talking to himself rather than to him.

"But it's so hard, Li Wei, it's really so hard. How can individual efforts be so powerless under the pressure of fate and society?" he said dejectedly. "I want to turn my life around, but I just can't... At first, I lived in my Mercedes—the first car I bought after I started working. Then I realized that without a fixed place to live, I couldn't even find a job... Later, because I couldn't afford to maintain the car, I sold it and lived in a basement. Only then did I barely settle down."

"I have experience working at top banks, and I graduated from a prestigious university," he said, feigning nonchalance. "So what? Will a degree from the University of Chicago get you a few more jobs? Why should I pay you more? Just because you can eat escargot in a more elegant way?"

As he spoke, Don Quixote's eyes reddened again.

He choked back tears and repeated for the third time, "I'm truly happy today, truly. I can get up—and I'm going to prove them wrong! I can do it! I'm going to fight for this!"

He took another sip of his drink and suddenly started cursing loudly.

"And that Julian! He's a complete idiot! Did you see how Julian treated me? Did you see the way he looked at you?" he roared, spitting onto the table. "If I were still his older brother! If I were still his boss! Would he dare say no? Would he dare question you?" (Chapter 25)

"What right does he have to question my nephew?! My family! To my very eyes!" He erupted like a frail old lion. "Who's he trying to fool with that hypocritical act? Pretending it's a damn difficult situation! It's just a letter of recommendation! He's deliberately mocking me! Mocking me for having to sell my blood to afford a worthless pen that costs over $800—talking about a collector's edition Macallan. Back in my day, I used to drink Macallan like mouthwash!"

"What's past is past," Li Wei comforted him. "The future will be better and better, and you'll definitely do better than him."

After the outburst, Don Quixote lay down slowly on the sofa, as if he had lost his bones.

"Yes...the past is the past," he said, closing his eyes. "At least I held firm to my principles...I didn't steal, I didn't rob, I didn't commit any crimes, I was happy to help others...I'll definitely go to heaven, right?"

His voice grew softer and softer until it was barely audible.

"Wait a minute!" Li Wei became alert. "You can't just say things like that."

However, Don Quixote did not respond.

This startled Li Wei, and just as he was about to go over, Don Quixote's snoring began.

Li Wei breathed a sigh of relief and went back to his room to drape a blanket over him.

He quickly tidied up the trash, returned to his room, and continued studying his other AP courses.

After an unknown amount of time, rustling sounds came from the first floor again.

"No way?" Li Wei walked downstairs in surprise. "He's drunk like this, and he still won't calm down."

Under the moonlight, Don Quixote once again donned his armor.

However, this time he was swaying unsteadily and hiccuping.

"I...my friend!" he cried. "I can't control my body anymore!"

He became increasingly panicked as he spoke, and almost tripped and fell to the ground.

"I can't stand up—I'm cursed!" he cried out in panic, leaning against the wall. "I've been cursed by a witch!"