Crazy Nezha

Under the cover of night, Li Tianbao was making a call to 120 (emergency services).

"The grove behind Shihe Park, huh? An electric scooter exploded, there's blood everywhere... No, really!"

"He's dying, hurry! He's not injured anywhere else, just that one spot..."

"Okay, okay, got it, I'll hang up now."

Sun Baoqiang clutched his groin, his face contorted in a grimace: "What did they say?"

"The ambulance is on its way." Li Tianbao hung up the phone and shook his head. "The doctor initially thought I was drunk and making things up!"

"An explosion, everything else was fine, only that one spot was damaged, it really sounds like a joke!" Sun Baoqiang screamed, "But! I was putting out the fire, I peed on top of myself!"

"Who blew up the dick?"

Li Tianbao asked, "Can you still walk? Let's go to the roundabout up ahead and wait for the ambulance."

Sun Baoqiang staggered to his feet, took a few steps, and said, "No, it hurts too much."

"Leopard Head, carry him for a while," Li Tianbao ordered.

The cow reluctantly lowered its body, and Sun Baoqiang forced himself to climb onto its back, while Li Tianbao helped by giving him a slap from behind.

"Be gentle, it hurts! Ouch!"

Li Tianbao glanced at the wreckage of the electric scooter. Fortunately, there were no flammable materials nearby. The flames on the scooter gradually diminished, and he whispered:

"Xiaotian, you stay here and keep an eye on the fire. Once there are no more sparks, come find me at the entrance of the Central Hospital."

"Third Master, don't worry, it won't catch fire." The Celestial Dog barked twice.

The cow had already carried the person. Li Tianbao said, "Follow me. There are alleys here that make it difficult for ambulances to get in. Let's go to the roundabout up ahead, it's only a few dozen meters away."

A few minutes later, a cow carrying a person with a groin injury stopped at the roadside near the roundabout.

Li Tianbao had already put on his coat; if he had still been dressed the way he did before, it would have been easy for people to misunderstand.

In the distance, the ambulance's signal lights were flashing.

"The ambulance is here."

Sun Baoqiang, perched on the cow's back, looked on with gratitude. "Thank you, brother! What's your name?"

Li Tianbao smiled and ignored it, offering no reply.

The ambulance came to a stop, and the paramedics got out. The first thing they saw was a huge cow, and they were all stunned for more than ten seconds.

"What's wrong with this cow?"

Li Tianbao explained, "He was in so much pain that he couldn't walk, so the cow carried him here."

The situation was urgent, and the emergency doctors couldn't worry about anything else. They called over this person and helped lift the person onto the stretcher.

Sun Baoqiang looked utterly desperate. "Doctor, is it inside?"

The paramedic frowned. "Such a serious injury? Xiao Liu, cut his pants."

Li Tianbao said, "The electric car caught fire and exploded. He urinated to put out the fire, and then the car exploded."

The doctor's eyes widened: "It really exploded?!"

A medical worker nearby clicked his tongue in amazement and then burst out laughing: "That's absolutely awesome!"

The doctor, suppressing a laugh, roared, "What are you laughing at! Is it that funny?! We're doctors, the patient's in this state, and you're still laughing!"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Qi, my pants..."

Sun Baoqiang cried and said, "I just want to know how serious my condition is!"

"Your condition is very serious!" The doctor peeled back the wound and shook his head as he looked at it.

"Huh??! Ah—"

In special cases, the best approach is to conduct temporary disinfection and stop the bleeding on-site first.

The scene was bloody, and with Sun Baoqiang screaming incessantly, it was a horrifying sight for Li Tianbao to witness.

Dr. Qi called out, "Yanzi, open the bottle of potassium permanganate, quick!" Potassium permanganate, also known as manganese oxide, is used for medical wound cleaning and disinfection. The dilution ratio is 1:5000 to 1:10000.

A young female nurse brought over the medicine.

"I didn't bring potassium permanganate, is iodine solution okay?"

Li Tianbao said, "Iodine burns really fast. Should we use iodine solution instead?"

The female nurse said, "We only have iodine."

Sun Baoqiang, who was listening from the side, had veins bulging on his forehead and his eyes trembling.

Dr. Qi, steeling himself, asked, "Young man, are you afraid of pain?"

Sun Baoqiang: "I want to die."

Dr. Qi kindly advised, "If the wound isn't disinfected promptly, it could become infected, which would be a serious problem..."

Sun Baoqiang yelled, "Apply it! Apply iodine to me. Quickly! Ah!!! Be gentle!"

"I haven't applied it yet!" Dr. Qi shouted.

Li Tianbao found a piece of wood nearby and put it near Sun Baoqiang's mouth. "Take a bite."

Sun Baoqiang, with a piece of wood in his mouth, stared wide-eyed and let out a wailing scream. His hands gripped the steel pipes on both sides of the stretcher, his knuckles turning white.

Dr. Qi patiently rinsed the wound, a process that lasted about three minutes, until the blood and dirt were washed away.

"It should be fine inside. The plastic residue has been rinsed away. There's a small tear in the foreskin, young man. You can either stitch it up, or you can come to our hospital and have a circumcision!"

The emergency doctor was quite responsible; after thinking for a moment, he added, "Given your condition, you should have had a circumcision a long time ago."

Sun Baoqiang spat out the piece of wood, grimacing in pain, and managed to ask with difficulty, "How much... for a circumcision?"

The doctor asked, "Do you want the Korean style or the traditional style?"

Li Tianbao quickly advised, "Don't get the Korean style. I have a friend who got the Korean style, but halfway through the surgery, they refused to finish unless he paid extra."

Sun Baoqiang: "I make cheap! Traditional food!"

"Traditionally, the whole procedure would cost around 1500, but you can save on anesthesia costs, so it shouldn't be that expensive."

Sun Baoqiang hesitated; he wanted to do it, but it seemed he couldn't afford the money.

"Yanzi, come here and help him turn over. I'll rush inside."

"Dr. Qi, I..." The nurse named Yanzi was very pretty with her eyes and eyebrows curved. She seemed to be an intern, and she was a little shy.

"Yanzi, hurry up, this is a patient, what are you standing there for?"

Yanzi was wearing thin rubber gloves, and the two were very close. Sun Baoqiang... couldn't control himself and started having inappropriate thoughts.

With a soft "plop," the small tear split open, and the tear grew larger and larger...

The doctor was dumbfounded, and Yanzi was so frightened that she immediately let go.

Li Tianbao was shocked and filled with awe; this young man was indeed extraordinary!

Sun Baoqiang looked embarrassed... For a moment, he even forgot to scream, "I don't know why this happened."

After observing for a while, the doctor said, "No need to cut it."

Sun Baoqiang asked, "Do we still need to go to the hospital?"

The doctor thought for a moment, "It's up to you whether you go or not. It's already been disinfected. I'll bandage your wound. If you want to save money, go to a surgical clinic and have the dressing changed every other day."

"Thank you, doctor. I won't go to the hospital."

The medical staff packed up the first aid kit, and one of the cashiers, wearing a blue vest, took out a receipt book and wrote with a scratching sound: "Ambulance 150, emergency treatment fee 80, iodine + sterile gauze bandage material fee 65, total 295 yuan."

"Scan the code or pay in cash?" The medical staff took out an electronic payment code.

Sun Baoqiang, enduring the pain, gritted his teeth and pulled out his phone to scan the QR code, but the scan failed. "Not enough money..." He turned his gaze to Li Tianbao...

"What are you looking at me for? You still haven't paid me back for your electric scooter!" Li Tianbao raised his eyebrows!

Sun Baoqiang: "Brother, I will definitely pay you back! Help me."

Li Tianbao said impatiently, "Call your parents!"

Sun Baoqiang: "Never mind, doctor, I'll leave my ID card with you, and I'll send the money over in a couple of days, okay?"

Li Tianbao retorted angrily, "What's there to be embarrassed about with your own parents! Why don't we go to the police station and have them contact your parents?"

Sun Baoqiang lowered his eyes and said in a low voice, "When I was a child, my father became paralyzed, and my mother ran away with someone else."

"I..." Li Tianbao swallowed the rest of his words. Three hundred yuan wasn't a lot, so Li Tianbao scanned the code and paid.

The medical staff who collected the payment tore off the receipt and handed it to me, adding, "If the wound becomes red, swollen, or suppurates later, remember to go to the hospital promptly, don't delay."

Li Tianbao took the receipt, glanced at it, and saw a detailed list of all the expenses. It was stamped with the red seal of the emergency center. He then put it in his pocket.

"Okay, thank you for your help."

Dr. Qi paused, looked Li Tianbao up and down, and said, "Hey, wait a minute, aren't you Director Yin's son?" He had felt that the young man looked familiar from the beginning.

"You know my mother?" Li Tianbao asked, somewhat surprised.

Dr. Qi smiled warmly and shook hands with him. "Hehe, I've met you a few times. My surname is Qi. I was a soldier under Director Yin during the fight against the epidemic in Echeng!" He then turned to the nurse and called out, "Yanzi, bring out the mupirocin ointment and ibuprofen."

Yanzi took out two boxes of medicine and handed them over.

Dr. Qi said, "You can take ibuprofen now. As for this ointment, have your friend apply it in three hours. You should go to the clinic again after dawn."

"Okay, thanks." Li Tianbao said, "Dr. Qi, could you please not tell my mom about this?" Seeing the doctor's puzzled look, Li Tianbao leaned closer and whispered:

"Here's the thing, my friend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and isn't quite mentally stable. He's the one who raises these cows, and my mom doesn't really want me to be friends with someone like that."

Dr. Qi suddenly realized that everything that happened tonight made sense. "I understand. Young people these days face a lot of pressure, and mental illness is indeed affecting younger people."

"Then we'll be going now." Dr. Qi got into the car, and the medical staff packed up their things and got into the car one after another.

Before the door was even fully closed, bursts of laughter erupted from inside the car. The car lights came on, and their silhouettes, gesturing wildly and laughing, were reflected on the glass. Surprisingly, it was Dr. Qi who was laughing the loudest.

The car started and the ambulance quickly disappeared into the night.

Sun Baoqiang held the cow with one hand, his face stiff.

"Where do you live?" Li Tianbao asked.

"I live in an internet cafe," Sun Baoqiang added. "Six months ago, my dad took three boxes of cephalosporin and a pound of fentanyl. I have no family left."

Li Tianbao was moved, but his expression remained unchanged. He said in a deep voice, "You owe me money and the car, and you have to pay me back!"

Sun Baoqiang looked grateful. "Aren't you going to call the police?"

Li Tianbao held out his hand: "Give me your ID card."

Without a second thought, Sun Baoqiang took out his ID card and slapped it into the other person's hand.

Li Tianbao carefully put away his ID card, then lightly leaped onto the cow's back, looking into the distance. "Come stay with me for a few days."

Sun Baoqiang looked at the young man riding on the back of a cow, the moonlight shining on him. In the distance, taxi horns honked, and night cars occasionally drove by on the roadside. It all felt so unreal.

"Aren't you worried that I'm a fraud, just spouting nonsense to gain your sympathy?"

"Eyes don't lie," Li Tianbao said with a faint smile. "Scammers are smart; they won't be stealing batteries anymore."

Sun Baoqiang stared blankly at the back of the man riding the ox, feeling inexplicably that he possessed an indescribable aura.

Li Tianbao turned around and smiled, "Let me introduce myself. My name is Li Tianbao! I'm 24 years old!"

Sun Baoqiang was stunned. It all seemed so absurd, like something out of an online novel where the protagonist encounters a mysterious organization.

Li Tianbao lowered his body, stretched out his hand, tilted his head, and said, "Get the beef."

"Yes!" Sun Baoqiang nodded emphatically, stretched out his hand, and clasped his hands together.

Li Tianbao gave him a hard shove, and Sun Baoqiang jumped onto the cow's back. He touched his wound and let out a strange cry of pain.

Li Tianbao patted the bull's head and whispered, "Let's go home."

Sun Baoqiang asked, "Where do you live?"

"Xincheng Hengbi Garden".

"Wow, that's a high-end neighborhood."

Li Tianbao: "I was born in May, what month were you born?"

"I was born in August, can I call you Brother Tianbao from now on?"

"Can."

"Brother Tianbao".

"Um."

"Woof! Woof!" Not far away, the celestial dog came running over like a frolic, closely following.