Marvel Magic Case Files

Chapter 345 London Traffic (Second Update)

"Given that we're about to enter English airspace, I expect you have entry clearance, Coulson," Salomon said bluntly through the cargo hold monitor. "I don't want to jump out of here and shoot down two Tornado fighters. These pilots are the elite of humanity, and while the British Eagles may not be as glorious as they once were, I still need them—I mean, I should be able to recruit them. Get the bottom of the work done, and the rest is just getting the planes east. Don't question me, girl (referring to Skye, as she and Salomon were the only ones in the cargo hold). I absolutely will not allow ordinary people to witness a massive portal opening in the sky until the Sorcerer Supreme's orders are revoked."

"Wow, you sound like a conceited jerk right now," Skye muttered under her breath. She sat on the hood of a Jeep, a brand-new laptop on her lap. She didn't care at all about Salomon buying her the computer, and her description of Salomon's current attitude wasn't wrong; Salomon was indeed speaking to them in a commanding tone.

Because he activated his Stigmata, his emotions towards humans became slightly weaker. Looking at Salomon from a shallow ethereal perspective, one could see a faint divine golden light emanating from him.

"I have to remind you, there's the latest news about the Asgardian army on social media: they took bus number 8 from the Terminal 5 bus stop at Hiross Airport. According to fellow passengers, the bus was packed with burly men in golden armor and a blond man with a curly beard, and the air quality was absolutely terrible. Dr. Eric Shavig said those Asgardians were going to Greenwich University, and it looks like they're going from Egham to Waterloo Station, then on a 41-minute subway ride. After that, they're going to North Greenwich for another 19-minute subway ride. I guess that's sensational enough, and a little more magic won't hurt."

“That’s Fandral. He’s reliable enough, as long as Volstagg isn’t around.” Skye’s sarcastic remark broke Salomon’s newly built-up composure, and he immediately relaxed. “I don’t know how often Asgardians bathe, but I’m 100% sure their armor doesn’t secrete soap,” he said. “A bus can’t fit 100 Asgardian warriors; considering their weaponry, it would be overloaded. So they must have been going to Greenwich University in batches. I can imagine how terrible that must have been for their companions.”

"The good news is that the London police won't stop them. I think that's thanks to S.H.I.E.L.D."

"If they had stopped the Heroic Warriors, they would have died." Salomon curled his lip in disdain. "Those are veterans who have served for over 1500 years. They don't have the naivety of the new generation of Asgardians. They are true warriors who have experienced the flames of war. You should be grateful that S.H.I.E.L.D. saved those idiots' lives."

"You're a complete bastard. You should say that to your Queen. Buckingham Palace is in complete chaos right now," Skye snorted, continuing, "I can't believe that after all this time, Downing Street still hasn't come up with a suitable plan to contact the Asgardians! Westminster Parliament is practically a zoo. What a corrupt country. Who would imagine that a feudal queen still exists in modern society? Maybe Guy Fawkes is up to no good?"

[Note: Guy Fawkes once attempted to blow up Westminster Palace and murder attendees, including the then-King of England.]

"The level of civilization's development cannot be judged by its political system; that's a characteristic of human society. Asgard is a feudal society, yet it's still the most powerful nation in the universe," the sorcerer cleared his throat. "Furthermore, although I am a British citizen, the Queen of Windsor is not my queen. On the contrary, I possess the right to claim Great Britain, and when the time comes, I will restore..."

"Okay, okay, I feel sorry for your people."

"They should feel honored, because after that, the entire universe will be drastically changed. Humanity's previously peaceful living environment will cease to exist. Various extradimensional bastards will wield their tentacles, pincers, spores, numerous genitals, and all sorts of slimy limbs, rushing towards Earth to retaliate by establishing all sorts of bloody and lewd religions to devour human souls and flesh. The gods of mythology will return in a grand display, claiming their dominion over humanity, the sky, the earth, and the sea, while humanity's insignificant power will be unable to withstand any attack. Humanity will only suffer defeat after defeat—humanity cannot even escape unscathed from a hole only ankle-deep!" He paused to catch his breath and continued, "Of course, all of this will happen if Kamar-Taj collapses completely, but that's unlikely, because the Holy Sword and the Holy Lance still exist."

"So—" Skye drawled.

So enjoy life while it lasts; these are some of the few happy times you can have.

After Salomon's intimidation, Skye quieted down considerably. She stopped babbling nonsense like a squeaking mouse and obediently reported the movements of the Asgardian army to Salomon.

Coulson listened to the entire conversation. While he was pleased that Skye was no longer distracted and was focused on the mission, he still thought Salomon was being too serious. To avoid leaving his team with any psychological trauma, he decided to lodge a small protest with the arcane mage.

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"Huff..." Fandral let out a long sigh. He couldn't understand why the army hadn't taken a few airships with them when they set off. That way, they wouldn't have to be crammed into those pathetic, crowded carriages filled with homeless people and vomit, like fish squeezed into metal cans!

Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. Being a guide for the Asgardians wasn't as easy as she'd imagined; it was Jane Foster's punishment for throwing away her car keys—she'd initially thought it was a reward, after all, being surrounded by a group of muscular men was her dream. But soon she realized something was wrong; these heroic warriors wouldn't talk to her, and their overwhelming masculine aura almost suffocated her.

"We're finally here," Darcy said with a sigh of relief. She squinted and looked up, but didn't see the person she wanted to see. All she wanted now was a hug from someone who wasn't wearing armor. "Weren't you already here?" Darcy dialed a number. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Asgardian soldiers marching through the school gates with impunity.

After hesitating for a moment, the security guards gave up trying to stop them.

They chose to call the police.

"I've arrived, Darcy," Salomon's voice came through the receiver. "But the plane has its reflective panels or something, meaning it's invisible. Agent Coulson is looking for a place to land. He thinks the atrium at Greenwich University is nice; there's a large open space and lawns—yes, S.H.I.E.L.D. loves landing on lawns, just like they landed on the lawns of Eton College when they came to find me… Anyway, where are Thor and Sif? I don't want one or two kids getting lost while the school kids are out on a picnic."

"The others rode with Jane in Eric's car, which was almost bursting at the seams. But... they had to cross the M4 highway..."

"You mean, they're stuck in traffic?"

"Yes. Perhaps the M25 highway would be a bit faster..."

[Note: The M25 highway is almost twice the length of the M4 highway]

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Darcy pouted and kicked at every pebble she could find, bored. Salomon knew London's traffic like the back of his hand; he even suspected the person who designed the system was a devil from hell. He couldn't imagine any more terrible punishment in the world than traffic jams.

London's roads generate massive amounts of negative emotions and accidental souls that are sweet and juicy to the devil every day.

After a long pause, Salomon spoke again, "Didn't Thor consider flying over here with his hammer ahead of time?"

"He can, but he doesn't know the way... I think Sif seems to have a lot of hostility towards Jane. If Thor flies over with Jane in his arms, I can't guarantee she won't stab Jane to death with her sword."

"That's true..."

It's okay that the update is late, I don't mind.

(End of this chapter)