Love Apartment: Yifei is my junior aunt

Chapter 713 The Reunion of Two Conceptual Gods

Guan Gu led Zhang Wei to the kitchen, cut the ropes binding their hands, and headed straight for Zi Qiao's bedroom.

He pounded on Ziqiao's door and shouted, "Ziqiao! Come out!"

"Ziqiao!!"

"Lu Ziqiao!!!"

After a while, Ziqiao, still half asleep, opened the door.

His eyes were tightly closed, and he uttered mumbled sleepily, "What?"

Guangu shoved Zhang Wei into Ziqiao's arms, gritting his teeth as he said, "Zhang Wei is yours now. Don't let him bother me again tonight, or the three of us will die together!"

He stormed back to his bedroom after saying that.

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"Hello!"

When Ziqiao saw Guangu slam the door shut, and then turned to see Zhang Wei's honest and innocent smiling face, he instantly felt like his head had been swollen.

In less than two nights, Zhang Wei managed to wreak havoc on Zhanbo and Guangu, the most honest guys in the apartment. He's definitely a troublemaker.

All I wanted was to get a good night's sleep, why did I suddenly have to be hit with such a troublesome problem?

Ziqiao immediately wailed, "Guan Gu, couldn't you just put it in a brown paper bag and burn it?"

Zhang Wei grinned at Zi Qiao: "Good evening."

"Fine, fine, I guess tonight's my unlucky night!"

Ziqiao sighed and helplessly pushed Zhang Wei back into his room.

"Go to bed! Sleep!"

After Ziqiao finished speaking, he crawled into his quilt and lay down to continue sleeping.

Zhang Wei lay down on Zi Qiao's bed, keeping his upper body still while twisting his hips back and forth.

"Ziqiao, your pillow is so hard, it's nowhere near as good as Guangu's pillow."

"Ziqiao, your mattress is so hard, it's much worse than Guangu's mattress."

"Ziqiao, your calves are so hard, they're nowhere near as hard as Guangu's."

"No way, what the hell did you do to Guan Gu all night?!"

Ziqiao stared wide-eyed in horror and silently moved away from Zhang Wei.

"Big brother, please be quiet and go to sleep. I have a date tomorrow morning."

"oh."

Zhang Wei closed his eyes. He had just watched the outrageous web series that Youyou recommended, and now he felt sleepy.

As the temperature inside the blankets slowly rose, Zhang Wei's breathing gradually became steady and long, and he slowly drifted into a sweet dream.

Slowly, slowly...

He vaguely sensed someone putting their arm around his waist, and a large, strong hand slowly reaching inside his clothes.

Zhang Wei suddenly jolted awake and kicked Zi Qiao, who was hugging him, off the bed.

"Lu Ziqiao, you're a pervert!"

He clutched the blanket tightly to his chest, asking in utter terror, "When did you start liking to touch men?"

"hiss……"

Ziqiao clutched his waist and stood up awkwardly.

He rubbed his eyes and let out a long breath: "Oh, Zhang Wei."

"I was still half asleep when I touched someone next to me and I thought..."

"oops!"

Ziqiao rubbed his face: "Sorry, sorry, it's just my professional habit kicking in."

Zhang Wei smirked, a hint of annoyance in his eyes, "You're pretty professional at picking up girls!"

"Love what you do, and be passionate about each job you do."

Although Ziqiao had strained his back from Zhang Wei's kick, he was in the wrong after all, so he could only endure the pain and lie back down on the bed.

"It's okay, go to sleep."

He rubbed his temples: "Don't worry, I'll remember this time that you're right next to me."

Zhang Wei stared intently at Zi Qiao: "It's not that I don't trust you, but your behavior just now really makes me uneasy."

"it is good."

Ziqiao silently moved away from Zhang Wei, pressing himself against the edge of the bed: "I'll try to stay as far away from you as possible, okay?"

"Please go to sleep, I'm so sleepy!"

"All right."

Zhang Wei lay down on the other side, trembling with fear. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he heard Zi Qiao suddenly ask a question.

"By the way, Zhang Wei, did you know that your calves are also quite weak?"

"hiss……"

Upon hearing this, Zhang Wei's body trembled, and his scalp tingled. At this moment, he finally understood how Guan Gu felt when he heard those words.

"Oh no, I'm really not going to be able to sleep now."

After Ziqiao's antics, Zhang Wei's drowsiness vanished instantly.

Just now, Ziqiao only put his hand inside his clothes. What if he puts his hand inside his pants when I fall asleep this time?

"Oh, you can rest assured!"

Ziqiao, who had just been sound asleep when Zhang Wei kicked him awake, felt like his head was about to explode. He wailed, "I'm not interested in men at all! Not even a little bit!"

"But I really can't sleep right now."

"Then count sheep, and you'll fall asleep while you're counting."

"oh."

Zhang Wei blinked and slowly counted, "One sheep, two sheep, three sheep."

"Four sheep, five sheep, six sheep."

"Seven sheep, eight sheep, nine sheep..."

"Depend on!"

Ziqiao gritted his teeth and cursed under his breath, covering his ears tightly with both hands.

……

One hour later.

"Two thousand forty-six sheep, two thousand forty-seven sheep..."

"Aaaaaaah!!!"

After being tormented for an hour, Ziqiao angrily stood up, glaring at Zhang Wei and roaring, "Why aren't you asleep yet?!"

"I don't know either."

Zhang Wei sat up and said slowly, "Actually, I've always felt that this method is unscientific."

Why?

Zhang Wei clapped his hands and said, "Think about it, the method of counting sheep came from abroad."

"The English word 'sheep' sounds very similar to 'sleep,' and repeating it too often can create a psychological suggestion."

Ziqiao raised an eyebrow: "So?"

Zhang Wei shrugged: "But how can Chinese people use the psychological suggestion of English?"

Ziqiao laughed in exasperation: "Then what do you want?"

Zhang Wei said with great enthusiasm, "I have a new method to help you sleep that is more effective and more direct."

"It is—counting! dumplings!"

Ziqiao was stunned and opened his mouth wide upon hearing this.

Zhang Wei continued to explain to Ziqiao, "Dumplings, sleep—that's the psychological suggestion Chinese people use!"

"Then why didn't you say so earlier?"

Zhang Wei blinked and said matter-of-factly, "You're the one who made me count sheep."

Ziqiao clenched his fists, suppressing his urge to punch Zhang Wei to death.

He lay back down, groaning, "Fine, I was wrong, you count."

Zhang Wei leaned against the headboard and continued counting slowly, just like he had counted sheep before: "One dumpling, two dumplings, three dumplings, four dumplings..."

Three minutes later.

"Ninety-six dumplings, ninety-seven dumplings, ninety-eight dumplings..."

"etc!"

Zhang Wei suddenly sat up, and his unexpected shout startled Zi Qiao awake.

Zhang Wei looked at Zi Qiao and said matter-of-factly, "I'm hungry."

Zi Qiao: o_o......

Zi Qiao: (╯▔ DIS▔)╯! ! !

He stared at Zhang Wei for a long time, dumbfounded, and finally silently raised a finger towards him.

Fuck you!!!

……

In the early hours of the next day, because she hadn't found a job yet, Meijia, who was working the night shift, could only do odd jobs like Wanyu and Curry Sauce before her. She pushed open the door and returned to 3602.

She glanced at Ziqiao, who was leaning against the sofa, nodding off, and asked curiously, "Ziqiao, why aren't you sleeping in your room so late?"

"what?"

Ziqiao woke up with a start again. He rubbed his face, his voice trembling with a hint of tears: "It's all because of Zhang Wei! Thanks to him, my entire night's sleep was ruined!"

"Zhang Wei? Shouldn't he be sleeping with Guan Gu tonight?"

Before Ziqiao could reply, Meijia said, "Oh, I see. Zhang Wei was just kicked here by Guan Gu like a football, right?"

She craned her neck and looked around, asking, "Where is Zhang Weiren?"

"He couldn't sleep and kept asking for dumplings, so I... mixed two pieces of rat poison into his dumplings."

"ah?!!"

Meijia was struck dumb: "You poisoned Zhang Wei to death?!"

Ziqiao sighed and leaned back on the sofa in a low voice: "I swear, I really wanted to mix rat poison for him, but we never have rats on the sixth floor."

"I had no choice but to settle for second best and mixed two sleeping pills into his mouth, hoping to calm him down."

Mika blinked. "So he's asleep now?"

No, he was sleepwalking.

"Sleepwalking?!"

Meijia exclaimed, "Did you tie Zhang Wei up?"

"Just kidding, Zhang Wei in his sleepwalking state is incredibly strong, harder to hold down than the pig slaughtered in the village for the New Year!"

Ziqiao shrugged: "Besides, tonight he and I... had a little misunderstanding. In short, he's really resistant to me touching him now."

"He hits me the moment I touch him; he almost punched my lungs out just now!"

Meijia snorted, "Then you can't just let Zhang Wei sleepwalk by himself like that. What if something happens?"

Ziqiao waved his hand: "Don't worry, nothing will happen. Someone is watching him."

Meijia was taken aback: "Who is it?"

Meijia's question seemed to be exactly what Ziqiao wanted to hear. He raised an eyebrow and a smug smile appeared on his face.

"For a being like Zhang Wei, who is at the level of a conceptual god, only the other conceptual god in the apartment can rival him."

He pointed to his slightly ajar bedroom door and said, "They seem to be getting along... pretty well now."

"What a load of nonsense."

Feeling uneasy, Meijia muttered to herself as she walked toward Ziqiao's bedroom.

When she reached Ziqiao's bedroom door, she gently pushed it open and peeked inside...

Mika was instantly struck dumb. Her eyes widened, and she exclaimed in disbelief.

"Teacher Zeng?!"

In Ziqiao's bedroom, Zhang Wei's eyes were glazed over, clearly in a sleepwalking state.

At this moment, he was nestled in the arms of Zeng Xiaoxian, whose face was flushed and eyes were glazed with drunkenness, whispering and sobbing, "My beloved concubine! My beloved concubine!"

"My mighty Qing Empire has come to an end just like that."

"I am not reconciled! I am not reconciled, my beloved consort!"

Zeng Xiaoxian, who was so drunk that he didn't even know who he was, chuckled to himself. He patted Zhang Wei on the shoulder and hiccuped as he said, "Your Majesty, I'm here with you."

"Hiccup... Your Majesty, please take care of your health."

Meijia stared at the appalling scene before her with distorted features. She turned to Ziqiao and demanded, "Lu Ziqiao, how did Teacher Zeng get so drunk out of nowhere?"

She pointed at Ziqiao's nose and asked, "Tell me honestly, was this your doing?"

"Of course."

Ziqiao leaned closer with a sly grin and said, "I tricked and swindled my way into getting Teacher Zeng drunk."

"When Teacher Zeng arrived, 3602 was leveled; when Zhang Wei's beloved concubine arrived, he was finally able to have some peace and quiet."

"Lu! Zi! Qiao!"

Meijia said angrily, "How could you treat Teacher Zeng like this? You've gone too far!"

Ziqiao pursed his lips and pointed to the kitchen: "I've prepared popcorn for you. You can enjoy a close-up view of this fallen empire from a first-person perspective."

Meijia's eyes lit up instantly upon hearing this: "Really?"

Ziqiao nodded: "When I bought the sleeping pills, I happened to see that the convenience store next door was having a popcorn sale, so I just bought some."

"Ziqiao, you're amazing!"

Meijia rushed forward and hugged Ziqiao, then excitedly ran to the kitchen, muttering to herself.

"Popcorn, my popcorn!"

[Idiot is idiot... Where did this convenience store come from next to the pharmacy downstairs?]

Ziqiao crossed his arms, squinted at Meijia's jubilant back, and smiled slightly.

(End of this chapter)