Don't use Type-Moon references in Oregairu!

Don't use Type-Moon references in Oregairu! (Author: Mechanical Gray Wolf)

Introduction:

Fujimaru Ritsuka, seventeen years old, is a student.

With the arrival of a peaceful 2017, we no longer need to fight.

Hachiman Hikigaya: The sword of glory, indestructible and unparalleled, even if only for this moment! A vow without a sword!!

Yukino Yukinoshita: I'll melt away your body and soul, along with all traces of your existence—I'm coming... I'll engulf everything you have! Benzaiten Five-String Biwa

Senji Muramasa: I'm entrusting this power of mine to you. Do your job well!

......

Give me back my everyday youth! Stop using Type-Moon references in Oregairu! Merlin, no, Kōji is about to cry!

In short, we must fight to reclaim our daily lives!

But before that, let's look at Yukinoshita's regretful face as she puts on the sardine clothes, and then help Hikigaya crossdress!

Hehehe...

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

〇 The gatekeeper's admonition

At first it was dark, then there was light.

A girl emerged from the light.

The girl had long, silky, silver-white hair, bound by a hooded garment that was sheer in the front and back. This also completely concealed the sides of her head. The hood covered her eyes, leaving only her thin lips visible. Her clothes were predominantly white, with extremely intricate decorations, including flower-like embellishments at the hem, revealing long legs encased in black stockings. The stockings deliberately showed gaps at her sandals, intentionally displaying her adorable toes.

The girl was like a fairy emerging from the forest, carrying a dreamy and ethereal atmosphere.

"Ah, are you a traveler who has strayed here? This is the boundary between reality and illusion, a gap left by the intersection of countless imaginary world lines. This is not a place you should come to. You might easily lose your way in life."

"Huh? If you want me to speak like a human, what should Merlin do?" The cute girl who called herself Merlin tapped her thin lips with her finger, then clapped her hands, suddenly realizing, "I should really break the fourth wall and learn from Deadpool's methods."

"Clang clang clang!"

She brandished a wand far too large for her body, and a screen of light appeared in the air:

[Dear reader, you have mistakenly entered a side story volume. If you haven't read this book, please skip to Volume 1.]

[What are your plans?]

[I really should have skipped ahead and checked out the plot of this terrible first volume.]

[→I'm too lazy to read the first volume. Hurry up with the side stories, let me see how this noob lets loose in the side stories.]

"Hmm, what a rebellious fellow. Then please enjoy the extra 'if' world, a place where reality and illusion intertwine, perhaps within the main historical world, or perhaps within the edited event world."

① Oh yeah ka mi da!

In the year 20XX, at 6 a.m., the citizens of Chiba City were already getting up and preparing to start their new day's work.

Kyosuke Takasaka wiped the food crumbs from his mouth with a tissue and nodded to his wife: "I'm ready to go."

His wife stepped forward and tied his tie: "Take care on your journey, Ishtar, may you be blessed."

She performed a devout prayer, and Kyosuke gently embraced her: "Ah, Ishtar, please be safe, everything will be alright."

Stepping out of his house, he squinted, gazing at the towering mountain in the distance—that was Mount Ebifu, the sacred peak that suppressed Chiba City and even the entire prefecture, with the temple of the great god Ishtar residing at its summit. The strange, ATM-like shape was now intimately familiar to the people of Chiba, who would even proudly explain it to astonished outsiders.

If it weren't for the miracle that happened back then, with the arrival of the sacred Mount Ebifu, both I and my wife Kirino would have died in the chaos, right?

Therefore, it is not only natural to show reverence to a deity who saved the lives of an entire county.

"I should get to the company soon. I need to coordinate the logistics. I heard that the lapis lazuli and gemstones for this year have been delayed again. Honestly, everyone thinks that the great god Ishtar is merciful, even the offerings are so slow."

-------------------------------------

Atop the towering sacred peak, Fujimaru Ritsuka withdrew her gaze.

He reclined on the wide throne, almost naked except for a tube top, black and gold shorts, and a single blue stocking that would drive anyone with obsessive-compulsive disorder crazy.

However, even though other men would appear strange in their attire, he exuded a dignified and imposing presence.

My body is naturally perfect in every way!

With this thought in mind, he stepped down from the throne, walked with elegant steps, his long, well-built legs crossed, and reached the edge of Mount Ebifu. Suddenly, he spoke: "I heard that Yukinoshita recently returned to Chiba City, is that right?"

"Yes, Your Majesty Ishtar, Your vision is as flawless as beauty itself."

"Heh heh, long time no see, Hiratsuka Shizuka. Do you really think she's confident she can surpass my beauty?" Fujimaru Ritsuka grabbed her elbows with both hands and pulled them upwards, revealing her perfect abs.

Hiratsuka Shizuka rolled her eyes where Fujimaru Ritsuka couldn't see, and said softly, "I don't know, after all, I'm just a priest serving God."

"Shouldn't you be looking for the Messiah who has descended to earth? Why are you lingering in the territory of this heretical god?" Fujimaru Ritsuka teased Hiratsuka Shizuka.

"The Messiah is the savior who saves the world. You, who uphold universal love and save people, are you not the Messiah?" Hiratsuka Shizuka bowed respectfully.

"Hmph, perfunctory, but not bad. Go and bring Yukinoshita to see me. I need to ask her."

"Have we found any clues that would allow us to recreate the real Chaldea and restart this desolate world?"

① Whose husband are you?! guna

The world is sick.

Black snow fell continuously from the sky; it was dust stirred up by years of war.

The dust combined with the magic in the air and the water vapor, transforming into shimmering black crystals that sprinkled across the earth.

Thick clouds obscured the sky, and the sun occasionally struggled to peek out from behind them, but only managed to cast a meager sliver of warmth.

If pre-war human technology hadn't advanced to such an extreme level that it was able to grow food and breed animals in greenhouses, and even synthesize proteins, then even food wouldn't have been available.

Even so, life on the land has dwindled to almost nothing. Only a few important cities have survived thanks to the protection of supernatural forces.

Chiba City, on the other hand, is only able to maintain a semblance of normalcy thanks to the protection of the sacred Mount Ebifu. Maintaining this protection requires a continuous consumption of lapis lazuli and all sorts of strange gemstones. These minerals are normally extremely valuable, but now they can only be traded for food.

But the consumption is always high, not to mention that there are always people who come to cause trouble from time to time.

Fujimaru Ritsuka, annoyed, looked at the massive figure approaching from afar: "Is that guy here again?"

It was a bizarre and terrifying figure, riding a monster of indistinguishable race. Its lower body had no legs, only spider-like segmented limbs. One hand held a giant hammer, the other a sphere of condensed lightning. A crown adorned its head, and long demonic horns extended, pointing towards the sky. This enormous monster stood over ten meters tall, and as it propelled its steed forward, the earth trembled and lightning roared.

"Do you need any help?" Shizuka-sensei asked Yukinoshita, who had brought her over.

Yukinoshita looks exactly the same. It seems that more than a decade has left no trace on her. She still has long, smooth purple hair and a face as delicate as a young girl.

"I'm used to hammering this guy. Do you have any clues about spirit particle transfer or imaginary number stealth?"

Yukinoshita remained silent, and Fujimaru Ritsuka didn't seem to mind: "Then let's talk in detail after I've dealt with this guy."

He boarded the celestial ark, flew into the sky, and approached the enormous demon: "Baal, you're here again. Don't you get bored doing this futile thing all day long?"

"Haha, although we couldn't take down Chiba City, meeting you is a good thing."

"In short, when will you agree to my request to get back together?"

Fujimaru Ritsuka looked speechless: "Although my beauty surpasses everything else, I still can't accept a man's confession to me."

“No, Ishtar, or rather, Astarte, this is not a declaration of love, it is a reunion. You were meant to be my spouse, and if we are united, we can return to the mythology.”

"It's so noisy. Who wants to return to mythology with you? I didn't want to stay in this lousy place for a long time. You bumpkins think you can rule this land?"

"Damn it! Are you going to defy me, Bayel, again?!"

"Go eat shit, Bayeley! Come out! Bull of Heaven!"

②IF Worldline: Let's become virtual YouTubers to save the world (Part 1)

"...Nine, ten!" Sakura Hibiki lay on the sturdy chair, finished a set of flyes, put down the dumbbells, and wiped the sweat from her brow with a towel.

As she sipped her energy drink, panting, she pondered the persuasion she had received a few days earlier: should she continue to participate in the plan proposed by that handsome guy?

"VTuber (virtual streamer)..." Hibiki Sakura muttered to herself, recalling the news she had heard earlier.

She was tempted and eager to try—especially when the other party placed the promised character illustration in front of her, it was like an arrow piercing her heart.

She was a pretty girl with pigtails, dressed in a red, blue and black outfit, wearing a Gothic Lolita dress. She was so energetic that she seemed a little dim-witted—but she was actually a literary girl.

"Hehe, you know about VTubers too?" Akemi Souyuu heard her murmur and started a conversation about something other than muscles, which caught Hibiki Sakura off guard.

She chuckled and scratched her cheek sheepishly, "Oh my, Zhu Meijiang, you're actually interested in this? Don't you usually only look at muscular men?"

Sōryūin Akemi puffed out her cheeks and said angrily, "Sakura-san, how rude of you! I'm not someone who doesn't care about anything except muscles. I also pay attention to the latest trends!"

She took out her phone and, unusually, enthusiastically promoted a male VTuber: "Recently, I've really become a fan of him. He streams very frequently, and his witty language and cheerful smile have captivated me."

Ah, could Zhu Mei be talking about the rainbow-colored Master Ye, or the club president who likes to play rock music, or the very manly bartender? I can't imagine Zhu Mei watching their live stream.

Sōryūin Akemi took out her phone, swiped a few times, and handed it to Sakura Hibiki.

Hibiki Sakura casually took the phone and glanced at it, then almost spat out a mouthful of Gatorade.

The image depicts a masked man laughing heartily, his muscular chest heaving, shouting: "No oppression, no resistance! Workers must rebel against their oppressors! That's love! Love!"

"Here are a few helpful tips for initiating a rebellion..."

"\Ai-chan/\Ai-chan/\Ai-chan/\Ai-chan/"

Sakura Hibiki stiffened her neck and turned to look at Akemi.

Zhu Mei's eyes filled with hearts as she gasped for breath: "Look at those strong muscles, that passionate speech! Ah, this is love, this is love!"

Wait, aren't you the young lady? She's about to rebel against you!

Hibiki Sakura fell into deep melancholy: if she remembered correctly, she had seen this VTuber's character art next to that handsome blue-eyed guy.

Does this place called Chaldea Project actually have members who are like cult leaders?

Should I join or not?

Hibiki Sakura began to think carefully.