Don't use Type-Moon references in Oregairu!

Fujimaru Ritsuka didn't even think about how to reject Abby or play a test—as for things like "you don't really like me," she didn't want that kind of impure love.

The carnivorous Fujimaru Ritsuka could only scoff: "Purity? What's the point? Compatibility is what truly matters after spending time together. As long as Abby continues to love him as she is now, he'll naturally love this adorable Abby too. The meat's already in his mouth; he's not going to let it escape." Fujimaru Ritsuka's biggest concern right now was how to legally avoid the crime of bigamy.

On this quiet night, as Fujimaru Ritsuka was indulging in his harem-loving thoughts, his phone rang. Fujimaru Ritsuka pulled out his phone and answered, quite surprised, "Hello? Is this Kaiki Deishuu? Why are you contacting me all of a sudden?"

The voice, devoid of intonation, rang out, its unique atmosphere making Fujimaru Ritsuka feel as if she could see a man dressed in a somber, mournful color standing before her.

He said, "Let me guess, you haven't seen Hachiman for almost half a month, and you haven't received any response from him, have you?"

Fujimaru Ritsuka held her phone, pondered for a moment, and said, "Let me guess. You called not to tell me bad news, but because you sensed something was wrong and had no clue whatsoever, right?"

Although Bei Mudshou liked to create mystery, this beginning was probably just to confirm whether he had any clues.

"Hmph, it's so convenient to talk to smart people. Do you know their schedule? No, if you did, you would have just said it."

On the other end of the phone, Bei Mu Ni Zhou showed a hint of pleasure, but then sighed slightly.

"That's it. Where did you spot the bad signs?"

"Recently, the Shinsengumi took a lot of supplies and tools from me and then disappeared. Hachiman kid promised to send me the payment this month, but it still hasn't arrived."

Fujimaru Ritsuka understood. Hachiman Hikigaya was the kind of person who seemed to look down on social morality, but secretly kept his promises to friends and acquaintances. Even though he had been tricked into making a promise to cross-dress, he didn't go back on his word afterward. He had promised to repay Kaiki Niibei this month, so he wouldn't easily break his promise; at the very least, he would contact him to explain the situation.

So, something's happened?

A thought flashed through his mind, and Fujimaru Ritsuka suddenly remembered something. He asked, "Mr. Kaiki Deishuu, how did you settle accounts with Hachiman?"

"The priority is to preserve the materials. After all, if he sells them and then pays me back, there will be a markup in between. So reducing the middleman benefits both of us." A tapping sound came from the other end of the line, like knuckles hitting the table. "...You mean, that guy got arrested by customs for carrying too many materials and not paying customs duties?"

"Tsk, Mr. Kaiki Deishuu, you avoided mentioning the possibility of being robbed and murdered by others or dying in the cave. I suppose you already have the answer, right? Why don't you tell the truth to the person who inspired you?" Fujimaru Ritsuka walked to the vicinity of her house, opened the door, and complained to Kaiki Deishuu.

"...I hate perceptive brats like you the most. To make a long story short, based on the variety of supplies they requested and the enhanced communication items, they've probably gone to the London Caverns." A rapid clatter of keyboard clicks followed, then the voice of Beki Mudsho, which had paused briefly, resumed. "I just contacted a few guys who set off for Albion's Tomb, but they haven't replied. And their social media hasn't been updated in a long time."

"Huh? This judgment is a bit unexpected."

“One of them is a YouTube influencer who said he was taking a break for almost half a month, and now it’s been almost 10 days since he last posted. And that talkative guy, if he comes back, there’s no way he won’t be posting lewd pictures on Instagram.” Kaiki Deishuu concluded with great certainty, “That guy is the kind who would die if he didn’t show off his body every day.”

"Hiss~~~ Could you please tell me your ID, Master Siji? No, let's get down to business first. In that case, are there any other ways to confirm?"

"Among the group that went to Albion's Tomb, a few should belong to an organization. I'll go and check. Although newly established organizations don't care too much about personal matters, there are a few good ones among them." Kaiki Deishuu was silent for a while, then unusually asked Fujimaru Ritsuka for help, "If I confirm the news, I might need your help with some business in Japan so I can get away from it."

"Okay, that's settled then. Let me know as soon as you've confirmed everything tomorrow."

"Will do."

Kaiki Deishu decisively hung up the phone, and Fujimaru Ritsuka put away her phone, feeling that she was about to get another batch of business to handle.

Hopefully, Hachiman is alright. You know, our team isn't stable yet, and we can't just rashly bring people over. The key issue is that we lack information about Albion, the Tomb of the Dead.

Shaking her head, Fujimaru Ritsuka finished washing up, lay down on the bed, and prepared to receive training from the two big shots.

Opening her eyes, Fujimaru Ritsuka was surprised to see Senji Muramasa and the Count of Monte Cristo squatting together, melancholy as they puffed out cigarettes.

"Ah, what's wrong? It's unusual that you didn't attack as soon as we met. It's like you're being chased by your ex-girlfriend, Master." Fujimaru Ritsuka joked with a laugh.

Senji nods weakly: "It's not quite, but it's very close."

Fujimaru Ritsuka:?

79. Hey, haven't seen you two madmen for a day, what happened to you? You've become so lame.

If you were to ask Fujimaru Ritsuka what his impression of the two guests living in his dream was, he would definitely say, "Ah, they're cool, arrogant, and domineering. In one word, they're domineering!"

Muramasa Senji, whose body once chopped off the elbow of the King of Heroes, how many Servants could do that? After gaining the experience and abilities of the first swordsmith, his personality became even more handsome than anyone else's.

With a casual tap, he wielded a fine sword worthy of Miyamoto Musashi's duels against the Heroic Swordsmen. He could also single-handedly destroy a city and shatter a sealed natural barrier with a single, all-out strike. As the top mercenary of the alien gods, he could team up with a demonic monk who loved mapo tofu to systematically defeat groups of Servants, leaving them utterly helpless. At his peak, he could even cleave through high-ranking beings with a single blow.

However, if the Thousand Sons Village is so arrogant and domineering, then the Count of Monte Cristo, the King of the Caves, is no ordinary person either.

In his mortal life, he single-handedly slew the powerful Roya, a disciple of the Twenty-Seven Ancestors. After becoming a Servant, he's the perfect candidate for the Moon Boyfriend, silently protecting his Master's dreams and always offering guidance when faced with difficult problems. The Curse of Goetia, singularity events—none of these are problems in his presence. The moment you see him, you feel safe. His strength lies not in combat power, but in his wisdom to reverse dire situations and his iron will; this is what is meant by "in times of crisis, rely on the Earl."

(Although the new swimsuit storyline flopped.)

Fujimaru Ritsuka mentally grumbled a few times, but she still found it hard to believe that these two Servants, who were radiating style from head to toe, would one day be in this state: the two of them were squatting like farmers, pulling out cigarettes from somewhere, taking a puff from each other, and looking at the smoke with melancholy expressions.

It always gives me the feeling of sitting by the curb with a heartbroken brother.

"Cough cough cough~~~" Fujimaru Ritsuka waved away the secondhand smoke, looking quite disgusted. "I haven't seen you guys for a day, how come you've become so lame? Don't act like an old riddle-maker, talking nonsense. Explain yourself clearly."

Senjimura sadly stubbed out his cigarette and sighed, "As expected, I still prefer smoking a water pipe."

"It's already difficult enough for me to even get a cigarette out here, so I'll just have to make do."

"That's true."

Fujimaru Ritsuka watched the two of them putting on a stand-up comedy routine and twitched the corners of his mouth: "Ah, so it's just that you're not used to smoking. Well then, I'm leaving. I'll pretend I never heard about that ex-girlfriend thing. You two smokers and drinkers, enjoy yourselves."

He turned to leave, but then a strong, large hand grabbed his shoulder, gripping it like an iron clamp and causing him excruciating pain.

"What's wrong? The riddle-maker got anxious because he found out others weren't solving riddles?" Fujimaru Ritsuka turned to look at Senji Muramasa, who was grabbing him, and scolded him, "I'm telling you, Master, you're supposed to be an old man at heart, so don't play like a young person. I'm trying to drive you crazy. If you have something to say, say it. If not, I'm going to take a break."

Qianzicun was rubbing his hands, a little embarrassed, and hesitated for a few moments before finally speaking.

Edmund flicked his cigarette butt away dismissively and shook his head: "You bastard, didn't you say you were going to ask the Master for help?"

Senji Muramasa spat at him: "Stop pretending. Be careful that Haide or her family shows up later, and let's see how you'll explain yourself."

"Kuhahahahahaha." Edmund indicated that he didn't know the answer to this question and simply brushed it off with his signature laugh.

Fujimaru Ritsuka, however, got an idea from their conversation and the word "ex-girlfriend," and exclaimed, "No way! Has someone crossed over from another world? Is it a flat-chested, gluttonous British woman? Or a greedy, red-eyed Venusian demon? Or a preachy Indian goddess? Or could it be Mara, the demon king who plans to destroy the world?"

"Tsk tsk, old man, I didn't expect you to be so adept at this. You even managed to connect yourself to Mara, you're practically Xu Xian now. I thought this was hellish difficulty, but looking at it this way, it seems like it's just normal difficulty." The Count of Monte Cristo's skill in stirring up trouble is exceptionally high today.

Fujimaru Ritsuka paused for a moment: As expected of the Count of Monte Cristo, he has a very insightful view. Strictly speaking, he really did sleep with a snake.

Senji Muramasa didn't scold him, but was sweating profusely as he pondered whether there was a problem with what Fujimaru Ritsuka had said. However, he vaguely felt that what his Master said didn't seem to have any major problems.

He knew he was a boy named Emiya Shirou, with the possibility that he possessed all the powers of Senji Muramasa and had been reborn in the Bunki era. In other words, he was an older Shirou with the power of Senji Muramasa. But he never imagined that he also had so many sinful karmic ties.

"Ugh... This is incredibly troublesome. It's all my own fault. I only have the appearance of a woman in distress, but the sins committed by my other self are far too heavy. No wonder the threads of fate are so strong." Senji Muramasa muttered for a while, then grabbed Fujimaru Ritsuka's shoulder tightly. "If my master has something to do, I will do my best. I can only ask you to wake her up."

"Uh, please explain things clearly first!" Fujimaru Ritsuka thought to herself, "If you don't tell me, I'm going offline."

Senji Muramasa could only sit cross-legged with Fujimaru Ritsuka, and talk with a bitter face about the terrible problems he had discovered.

He started by asking an unrelated question: "[Eye of Karma], is it useful?"

“To be honest, it’s true.” Fujimaru Ritsuka nodded, indicating that this skill was indeed quite versatile. “As long as there is a connection, everything can be seen. The tangible and the intangible are all equal under these demonic eyes. Although it is sometimes obscured.”

Senji Muramasa sighed and said, "That's because your cultivation is not yet up to par, your karmic connections are not strong, or they are obscured by other factors, or the distance is too far, all of which will greatly reduce the effectiveness of your observations. I am different."

He separated his index and middle fingers, pointing them to his eyes. The light in his golden pupils was pure and clear, as if reflecting the entire world.

Senji Muramasa paused for a moment, then said something terrifying: "Didn't you contact Beki Mudsho, who possesses the power of Hohenheim, today? Through that brief encounter, I saw the thread of fate connecting all the way to distant London."

"There, the breath of fire burns the world, and the storms sweep across continents and seas. Everything will be destroyed by the terrifying behemoths. Judgment is near. He will unleash annihilation upon all things that fail the test. The monsters that surge forth, driven out, are merely appetizers. Behind them stands the dragon, neither good nor evil, who will preside over the judgment."

Fujimaru Ritsuka was silent for a moment: "Grandpa, are you sure you're not just sleepy and your eyesight isn't failing you?"

"Of course not, absolutely true."

"Oh, then I'll go for a walk."

80. Let's climb over that mountain and cross that river, and go fight the dragon together!

"Let me go! HA☆NA☆SE!" Fujimaru Ritsuka, who had been pinned to the ground by a flying armbar, frantically pounded her free left hand, crying out, "Master, stop! It's going to break! It's going to break!"

Senjimura squinted and chuckled, "So what if it's broken? It's just a dream anyway, so your pain won't be that intense. Stop fooling around and just agree to it."

"I agreed, okay?!" Fujimaru Ritsuka finally managed to extricate himself from the double-man situation, rubbing his arm in frustration and grimacing.

"Come on, you're just hesitating. When we were fighting, the knife went in and your intestines spilled out, but you still wrapped them around your waist and kept hacking at each other. Your arm isn't even broken yet, and you're already giving in? Don't try to fool me." Senji Muramasa rolled his eyes.

I've eaten more salt than you've seen any erotic pictures, do you think I'd be fooled by you?

Fujimaru Ritsuka, somewhat dejected, rested her chin on her hand, unsure how to express her conflicted feelings: "I had only just fallen asleep when you told me a huge thing was going to run over London. It might be a world-ending crisis. Did you even consider how bewildered I am?"

He complained about the two servants' absurd behavior: "The suddenness of this is no less than when a deadbeat is watching his crush get confessed to, and then a stunning beauty drives up in a luxury car and tells him, 'Hero, get going! We're going to save the world!' You're sitting in the helicopter with no idea what's going on. All you hear from beginning to end is, 'No time to explain, get in!'"

"I get it. It's like starting suddenly without lubrication. It must be very dry, right?" Senji Muramasa roughly understood Fujimaru Ritsuka's thoughts.

?

No, old man, speak properly! Why are you driving?

"Machine engines are like that, and so are people."

Oh, so that's what the appliance repair expert wanted to say. That makes perfect sense.

"Then let me lubricate it for you first, pfft..."

Fujimaru Ritsuka: (?_?)

"Ahem, don't be so scared about what I'm about to say. That guy is still fast asleep deep inside." The old man, Muramasa, said, "I just wanted to make a big fuss to scare people."

Fujimaru Ritsuka: (一`'一)

So all my worrying was for nothing.

"She's still in the morning grumpiness stage, and it'll be at least another month before she starts moving around." Senji Muramasa gave Fujimaru Ritsuka a thumbs up, his teeth gleaming, as if to tell him, "[Brave boy, go and create a miracle!]"

"Oh, that's good, there's still a month left..." Fujimaru Ritsuka nodded with relief, then slid down, hugged her waist, tightened her grip, and exerted force.

"Eat my Argentine back throw!"

"Gurgle." Senji felt a jolt in his head and eyes, and golden stars floated in the crimson sky.

Fujimaru Ritsuka clicked her tongue, ignoring the still dizzy, old-faced rascal, and turned to Edmund, asking, "So, what do you guys think? Judging from what this useless old man is saying, that dragon is probably not just a landmine; I might not even have the destructive power of an intercontinental ballistic missile in a month."

The count took a deep drag on his cigarette and exhaled smoke rings: "Don't worry, that's the power the thing inside can unleash on the ground after it comes out. When you go into the cave to carry out decapitation strikes, you shouldn't be facing terrifying creatures of humanoid nuclear bomb level."

"How much will it be weakened again?"

"...A high-attack, low-defense character capable of sinking warships?" the count said hesitantly.

"Hopeless, just wait to die. Goodbye. I'm logging off now and summoning a bunch of people for a tag-team battle." Fujimaru Ritsuka unleashed Bian Que's three-hit combo, really wanting to beat these two up—warships, warships, the [fishing boats] I used to fight the Vietnamese uncles are warships, aircraft carriers are also warships, this fluctuating combat power is too unreliable, to the point that it seems like a lie.

"Oh? Really? Perhaps this is an opportunity to increase our combat strength."