Konoha Drunkard

"How about this, we'll spread out and hunt them down around the Konoha camp. If we run into the Konoha Red-Haired Man, we'll run away immediately. I don't believe he can kill us all!" said the man carrying the large machete.

"Hmm! This young man is absolutely right! Young people are so quick-witted! What's your name, young man?" a figure said, putting his arm around the fat man's shoulder.

"Haha! I am the famous Pipa Juzo..." Pipa Juzo said, only realizing halfway through that he wasn't one of the seven people, and they didn't even know his name.

"..." The surroundings were silent, and the six people looked at the person who was hugging the fat man in unison.

Redheads!

Three scars on my right eye!

It looks exactly like the portrait of someone spitting on it at the entrance of the Water Shadow Pavilion!

Six sounds of swallowing saliva rang out simultaneously. The fat man's face was pale, his lips trembled incessantly, and his face was covered in sweat.

"Hey! Fatty, don't be so nervous! I just came to check on you. I didn't do anything to you and you're already like this. If I really did something to you, would you wet your pants?" Shanks said, patting the fat man on the shoulder.

After spotting three figures tonight, Shanks bid farewell to his son-in-law and the others, and followed them to their meeting place. After overhearing their conversation, he realized that these were not the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist, but rather the Seven Hidden Mist clowns!

"Red... Red-haired Lord, good evening! Have you... eaten yet?" Pipa Juzo stammered. It was truly an inauspicious start. They had worked so hard for so many years, waiting for this opportunity to make a name for themselves in the ninja world, but they ran into this formidable opponent as soon as they arrived.

"I just finished eating, and you guys bumped into me while I was eating!" Shanks stroked his chin and looked at the future Juzo Biwa. To be honest, he really did look a bit like Zabuza.

"Haha! Really? What a coincidence! I didn't mean to disturb your meal. We're so sorry, we won't bother you any longer, we'll be going now!" After saying that, Pipa Juzo immediately turned around and was about to run away.

"bump!"

Before Juzo Biwa could even take a step, Shanks delivered a powerful punch to his head.

"So fast!" Everyone watched as Shizuku, who had just turned around a second ago, was hit on the head by Shanks before he could even take a step.

"It hurts! It hurts so much! It hurts so much! Ah!" Pipa Juzo lay on the ground, desperately rubbing the bump on his head and rolling around in pain! It was so damn real! It hurt even more than when the uncle next door slashed his face with a knife after he peeked at the aunt next door taking a shower.

"It hurts? That can't be real!" Everyone watched as Juzo Biwa rubbed the large bump on his head, rolling on the ground and yelling in pain, wondering if they were under a genjutsu! Dude, we're ninjas! Are we afraid of pain?!

"We're all going to die anyway, everyone charge!" The middle-aged man with the large door panel reacted and swung it at Shanks!

Upon seeing their leader appear, the other six swordsmen drew their ninja swords and began hacking wildly at Shanks.

"Clang, clang, clang!" The aristocratic clanging of metal from Los Angeles rang out once again.

Shanks didn't lift a finger; he just stood there, letting the six of them practice their blacksmithing.

"A little to the left, right, right here, a little harder, haven't you eaten? And you fatso, does this sharkskin have no teeth? How come it can't bite anyone? Bite at this pressure point! And you, the one with the toothpick, you're poking in the wrong place!" Shanks instructed him while letting him struggle.

Half an hour later, Pipa Juzo recovered, his headache was gone, and he stared at the big bag, picked up a large machete, and joined the ranks of blacksmiths.

"You're the one staring at the bag on your head! Didn't you eat? Holding such a long machete, you're so weak and powerless. You've disappointed me!" Shanks shook his head in disappointment as he looked at Juzo Biwa.

269. The idiot Wuyin Qi, utterly despondent.

Seven goofballs spent two hours forging iron around Shanks. The fat guy watched as the other six were still desperately hacking at Shanks with their broken swords. His eyes kept darting around. Rather than waiting to die here, he might as well take the opportunity to slip away.

"boom!"

Shanks suddenly appeared next to the fat man and delivered a loving punch to his pig-like head.

"You fatso, you've got quite a few tricks up your sleeve! Keep forging, I'll let you go when I'm satisfied, otherwise... hehe..." Shanks raised his iron fist and punched each of them on the head.

"Bang bang bang bang bang!"

"Ouch! It hurts! It hurts so much!"

"Oh my god! It hurts so much!"

"........"

They finally understood why Juzo Biwa had pretended to be dead after only being punched once—it really hurt!

"Stop playing dead! Get up, pick up your weapons, and keep hitting me! If you can't satisfy me, I'll make you even more satisfied!" Shanks said, looking at the seven idiots rolling around on the ground.

"...Red...Red-haired Lord, we haven't offended you, please let us go!" Tongkusa Norito pleaded, rolling on the ground with tears streaming down his face.

"That won't do. You've already aroused my urge to crush you. I'll let you go when you've satisfied me. Stand up, all of you, pick up your weapons and fight back against this evil devil! If you don't stand up, you'll get a beating!" Shanks activated his new skill, Hitler's Seduction Technique.

After hearing that they would get punched at the end, the seven goofballs, despite their headaches, stood up and frantically grabbed their swords, not caring who had whose sword, and continued forging.

"Jingle bells"

The beautiful, aristocratic clanging of steel from Los Angeles continued to resonate throughout the surrounding area.

As dawn approached, the seven goofballs, having spent the entire night forging iron, collapsed on the ground like limp shrimps. Their seven ninja swords lay discarded on the floor. They had never hated the sound of forging iron so much; it was just too damn tiring. The Konoha's Red-Haired Shanks were truly inhuman.

"That's more like it! It's good to practice ironwork regularly, it can even loosen up your joints! Stop thinking about fighting all the time. If everyone gives a little love, the world will be a better place!" Shanks said, leaning loosely against the big tree and looking at the seven weaklings.

"..." The seven men collapsed to the ground, staring blankly at the sky. The weather was clear and cloudless, but their hearts were pouring with anger. Why were they so stupid to have to be the first to charge! Before they even got a chance to show off, they'd run into a god of pretense... What else could they be but a god of pretense, forced to fight them?

"...Lord Shanks, this matter...the Seven Ninja Swordsmen?" Not long after, the second male lead's father arrived with Itachi and a group of Konoha ninjas, looking at the seven comical figures on the ground who seemed to have lost all will to live, and asked in confusion.

Otherwise, with those seven uniquely designed ninja swords on the ground, he wouldn't have been able to tell at all that they were from the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. Their empty eyes and lifeless expressions made them look like seven people who had just been raped.

He had originally planned to bring his son out to show him the cruelty of war, but instead of seeing the cruelty, the desperate man saw seven...

"Judging from their weapons, I can confirm they are indeed members of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. Taking them back would be good; they could help me with some blacksmithing from time to time. It's been decades since I've heard the sound of forging metal; I really miss it!" Shanks walked over, picked up Itachi, and gazed at the sky. He hadn't heard that aristocratic sound of forging metal since Android 24 retired.

"No...no! Red-haired sir, you said you'd let us go if we satisfied you." The seven goofballs' empty eyes turned into tears of grievance when they heard the words "blacksmithing."

"I did say I'd let you go, but I didn't say when. I'll let you go when Kirigakure surrenders, it's the same as letting you go! Don't worry, everyone in the ninja world knows that I, Shanks, one of the Four Emperors, am the most trustworthy. If I say I won't kill you, I won't kill you." Shanks patted Juzo Biwa on the shoulder to comfort them.

"..." The seven goofballs exchanged glances, confirmed each other's feelings, and then shed tears of despair. Next time they go out to show off, they must check the almanac first! This time, they ran into the god of show-offs because they didn't check the almanac.

"...Take them away." The second male lead's father looked at the seven heartbroken people, wondering what they had gone through last night. But based on their conversation just now...could it be that Lord Shanks has that kind of hobby?

The second male lead's father looked at his son riding on Shanks' shoulders with a gleam in his eyes; his son was the man who had ridden the red-haired man of Konoha...

"Little Itachi, do you like that sword? I'll give you one." Shanks asked the little Itachi riding on his neck.

"Lord Shanks, are these ninja swords very powerful?" Even a genius is still a three-year-old kid. Last night, he heard his father and a group of clansmen discussing how powerful the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist were, and he was very curious.

"Not bad, little Itachi, remember this: the real power isn't the sword itself, but the person wielding it! If that person is too weak, even wielding a divine weapon makes them just a slightly weaker weakling," Shanks said.

Itachi nodded, seemingly understanding, but it was so easy to teach a genius. Often, you just casually spout nonsense, and they can actually glean the true meaning of life from it, just like Itachi right now.

"Is our Sharingan like that too?" Itachi asked.

"Your clan's possession of the Sharingan is an advantage, and of course you should use it. However, you can't rely on it too much. Aren't there many people who aren't even using the Sharingan and are still very strong? If you're already very powerful without the Sharingan, wouldn't having a pair of Sharingan make you even stronger?" Shanks said. Even without the Sharingan, Madara at his peak was an incredibly powerful being. Apart from not being able to defeat Hashirama Senju, who else in the ninja world could compare?

The second male lead's father was secretly pleased to see Shanks seemingly instructing his son. It didn't matter if he didn't take on disciples, as long as he was taught. Besides, he had great confidence in his son's talent.

"So? Which knife do you like? I think this blunt knife is pretty good. It's got both a hammer and an axe, so it can both hammer and chop. It's incredibly cool." Shanks picked up the blunt knife and slammed it into a nearby tree.

"boom!"

The tree was smashed and sent flying.

"Teacher, this blunt knife is too..." Inuzuka Tsuru said speechlessly, his mind conjuring up the image of Itachi, a little kid holding a hammer in one hand and an axe in the other, which was just too harmonious.

“You’re right. This Executioner’s Blade isn’t bad either. It’s not flashy enough, but it’s long enough. And it can regenerate if it gets shorter!” Shanks said, throwing away the blunt sword and picking up the Executioner’s Blade.

"Lord Shanks, let's go back first." The second male lead's father interrupted Shanks after tying up the seven goofballs; it always sounded odd coming from him.

"Let's go, I'm exhausted from a night's sleep, I need to go back and get some rest." Shanks tossed the Executioner's Blade to the ground like trash.

"......It's us who's exhausted, you bastard!" The seven tied-up idiots felt a surge of anger upon hearing Shanks' words, but they didn't dare show it, fearing they'd be back to their old ways.

270. Even Grandpa Ban is blowing his own horn.

A few days later, news of Shanks capturing the Seven Ninja Swordsmen reached Konoha. Hiruzen Sarutobi was overjoyed upon receiving the news; seven living swordsmen were far more valuable than the dead ones. As for the seven swords, he didn't even consider them; the Seven Ninja Swordsmen had summoning scrolls, so they were useless to him.

"Hiruzen, hand those seven people over to me." Danzo, after receiving the news early in the morning, excitedly ran to his best friend to demand the people, completely forgetting that he had been beaten like a dog by that red-haired brat in the Land of Rain.

“This time it won’t work; they are our bargaining chips in negotiations with the Mizukage,” Hiruzen Sarutobi said, shaking his head.

"I can control them well. Wouldn't it be better to have them gather intelligence for us in the Land of Water? They can even serve us when necessary!" Danzo tempted his best friend like Hitler.

"...Can you guarantee you can control them?" Hiruzen Sarutobi was also tempted. The geographical location of the Land of Water made it difficult for them to gather any information. If they had these seven people, it would be much more convenient.

"Don't worry, I guarantee they'll behave!" Danzo said. He had the cursed seal on them! Why would he worry about them not obeying?

"...I've already informed Shanks. He'll hand it over to you once the Seven Ninja Swordsmen arrive." Hiruzen Sarutobi took a deep drag of his opium.

.......

"Lord Shanks, the Hokage has ordered us to escort the Seven Ninja Swordsmen back to the village." A dozen or so Anbu members, having received Hiruzen Sarutobi's orders, rushed to the Land of Water's battlefield within a week. They found the Seven Ninja Swordsmen, their faces streaked with tears, desperately clutching their ninja swords and staring at Shanks, the sound of hammering metal echoing throughout the camp.

"...They're not seven girls, why is the Hokage in such a hurry? I've only enjoyed myself for a week! You guys rest here for a month or so, then send them back. I'll tell the Hokage you were attacked and seriously injured." Shanks said, enjoying the clash of the seven goofballs.

"..." The seven goofballs initially brightened up when they heard they were being sent to Konoha, but their expressions turned sad again at the end. This bastard was disobeying their Hokage's orders! Help! The seven pleaded with the ANBU leader, "Please take us back quickly, bro!"

"...Lord Shanks, the Hokage needs them urgently, so he wants us to send him back tomorrow." The leader of the Anbu felt a chill run down his spine looking at the seven pleading eyes. How much had they been tortured that they were actually begging the Anbu from the enemy village?

"Is that old Hokage plotting something again? He's definitely one of Uncle Two's disciples, all cunning and treacherous! Take him away!" Shanks grumbled at Hiruzen Sarutobi.

The dozen or so secret agents pretended not to hear; both were bosses, and their underlings couldn't afford to offend them.

"Teacher, why does the Hokage need these seven people so urgently?" Little Cannon ran in and asked after the Anbu left with the seven goofballs.

"If you can't figure it out, how would I know? All I know is that the Hokage is definitely planning to trick someone." Shanks rolled his eyes at him. He had just activated his Observation Haki, and even these Anbu members didn't know, so he was definitely planning to trick someone.

........

"Lord Mizukage! We just received news that the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist have encountered Shanks from Konoha and have all been captured alive!" In Kirigakure, the Fourth Mizukage, controlled by Madara, was seeing off the Kirigakure ninja as the main force prepared to board the ship for departure.

"What! Is the Red-Haired Shanks from Konoha leading the battle here?" the Fourth Mizukage asked coldly.

"Yes, we just received news that they encountered Konoha's Shanks shortly after landing and were all captured alive," the ninja said.

"Hmph! Useless trash! Where are they being held?" the Fourth Mizukage asked.

How can we let such good cannon fodder fighters die before they even get a chance to fight? Madara can't bear to see them die. Even if they have to die, they have to kill a few people from Konoha before they die.

"They're being suppressed by the Anbu and are preparing to return to Konoha. They should still be on their way," the Mist Ninja said.

"Understood, I'll think of a way," Madara said, controlling the Fourth Mizukage.

"White Zetsu, bring those seven good-for-nothings back to me." In the underground entertainment center, Old Man Madara said to the white object.

"Okay! Lord Madara! I'm off, Lord Madara! Don't miss me too much, Lord Madara!" the white object said mischievously.

"Say one more word and I'll kill you!" Old Man Ban stared at the creation he'd made using his beloved medical insurance. Why was it that even though it was clearly his will, its personality was as goofy as his beloved's?! Was the impact really that significant?

Bai Jue dared not speak any longer and disappeared underground.

"Black Zetsu, Nagato must be despairing of the world now, right?" Madara said.