America: A Prodigy of Stereotypes

Wade was still wearing the same smart suit as last night. He arrived at the Laisheng Bar shortly after it opened for business.

Sitting down at the bar, Wade looked at bartender Johnny with a serious expression.

"Johnny, my house has been broken into, and the mattress I live in has been murdered. How do I find the woman?"

"I know nothing about this."

Wade silently took out a gold coin and pushed it in front of Johnny.

Johnny accepted the gold coin, his expression becoming just as serious as Wade's.

"Natasha landed in New York at 9:45 this morning and has already booked a return flight to Paris on the 28th. She's not here on a new mission, but to go back to New York for Thanksgiving."

"She is currently staying at a hotel in mainland China, room number 503. If the curtains are not drawn, you can see her in the room from the same spot as before."

“On Thanksgiving morning, she and her sister will go to the supermarket to buy a fresh turkey. If you want to get revenge on Natasha, you can try making sure she can’t buy a fresh turkey,” Johnny replied.

"She has a sister?" Wade was incredibly surprised. He and Natasha had been married before, and apart from their employers who gave them five-star reviews, not a single relative was present at their wedding.

“She not only has a younger sister, but also her adoptive father.”

“He’s my sister’s adoptive father, not Natasha’s,” Johnny emphasized.

"Johnny, very good, you still know everything as always."

Johnny calmly wiped the glass; his grandfather used to shine shoes on the street.

He took over his grandfather's job and has been answering everyone's questions in this place ever since, for a mere gold coin.

"Tell me about Natasha's sister and adoptive father..."

"Natasha's sister is named Yelena. She is 155cm tall, weighs 51kg, and is probably 16 years old. She has long, curly black hair. They are not related by blood. Yelena received the same rigorous assassin training as Natasha, but due to the lingering effects of the collapse of the Soviet Union, Yelena's assassin training was not completed."

"Yelena's adoptive father is Frank Castle. He is married and has a biological daughter. He is a former Marine Corps elite. He adopted Yelena, who had been smuggled to New York, by chance."

"Natasha returned to New York because this Mr. Frank helped Yelena contact Natasha."

“…” Wade tilted his head and looked at Johnny.

"Did Frank ask you for Natasha's contact information?" Wade asked Johnny.

“No.” Johnny calmly made a gesture as if playing an accordion in mid-air.

"I'll go to the hotel in mainland China now."

Wade got up from the bar stool by the bar.

"Wade, do you still remember the rules?" Johnny asked, watching Wade's retreating figure.

“I’ve never broken the rules,” Wade said, turning around.

“You seem a little eager to try,” Johnny said.

“I was just thinking about who I could spend Thanksgiving with this year,” Wade said with a smile.

Wade's initial plan was to spend Thanksgiving with John Wick and Helen, and he had even made arrangements for their dog in advance, but now he has a better holiday companion.

Chapter 216 What's in the Refrigerator?

"Could I use the restroom?"

Please make yourself at home.

The restrooms at the Rebirth Bar are very clean, with a cleaner coming every two hours. The patrons are also very well-behaved, and no one messes around in the restrooms.

Wade carefully selected the innermost stall in the restroom. As he was unbuckling his belt, he felt someone grab his belt and he fell backward to another spot.

The portal closed instantly, and Wade nervously gripped his pants and belt.

Wade stood up from the floor, and Bruce Banner was watching him.

“Wilson, I’ve thought about it seriously…” Bruce Banner said to Wade.

What are you considering?

“You need to restrain yourself. You can’t take advantage of your near-immortal healing ability to do whatever you want,” Bruce Banner said.

“I’m doing this, this ‘self-discipline,’” Wade said.

"You know what? I've been watching you."

Bruce Banner stepped aside, making way for Wade Wilson to watch the television behind him.

The television screen displayed a third-person perspective view of Wade watching TV.

Wade subconsciously checked the angle of the television camera and turned to look, but there was nothing at that angle.

"It's magic again."

“Given your current mindset, I will not allow you to learn any magic, nor will I permit anyone to teach you,” Dr. Banner said.

“It’s alright, I have a self-healing ability that’s even stronger than magic,” Wade said.

"You can't provoke others and let them beat you up."

“I’m building up my pain tolerance. I can heal myself, but the healing process is anything but easy; it’s incredibly painful, both painful and itchy,” Wade said.

“I know you’re starting to get addicted to this.”

"When the human body suffers a major trauma, it will adjust its endocrine state to cope with this special situation..."

“For a normal person, this kind of special situation might only happen once in their lifetime. However, Wade, you are treating this abnormality as a necessary behavior in your daily life, like self-comfort,” Dr. Banner emphasized to Wade.

“I also have a college degree, and I’ve taken human anatomy classes, so I know,” Wade said.

"Knowing is one thing, but self-control is another."

“If this continues, you really will become a vampire. Vampire is just a metaphor. Vampires are addicted to the blood of the living, and they feel worse than death without human blood; if you also become addicted to something, coupled with your near-immortal healing ability, you will be no different from a vampire,” Dr. Banner said.

“I’m harder to kill,” Wade chuckled.

"Dr. Banner, do vampires really exist?" Wade asked with a silly grin.

"some."

“These guys are living a low-key life now; technological advancements make it easy for ordinary people to kill them,” Dr. Banner replied.

"Are there any witcher jobs you can introduce me to?"

“If it’s hunting legendary monsters like vampires, I have plenty of energy,” Wade said.

“These monsters and demons have long since disappeared. If you want to work as a witcher, you’ll have to go back to Europe at least two hundred years ago,” Dr. Banner said.

"This is so boring."

"Thanksgiving is coming soon, which will give you a chance to see Indian ghosts."

"Really? Are we going to banish the returning Native American souls back to the afterlife like colonists?" Wade instantly perked up.

“No.” Dr. Banner’s expression was strained.

"Indian ghosts and spirits are essentially a collection of the resentment of the Native Americans who died on this continent."

"They are more terrifying than you can imagine. As long as white people continue to live on this continent, the collective resentment of these Native Americans after their deaths will never dissipate."

"All I can do is strengthen the seal and calm their emotions as this collective resentment riots on Thanksgiving Day," Dr. Banner said.

"Appease them? Do you mean we should offer them tribute? Kill a few people as sacrifices?" Wade opened his mouth and put four of his fingers in it.

“Every few years, a president of the United States dies an unnatural death. This is a curse of the Native Americans, and also a way to appease their resentment. But I have noticed that this curse of the president has been broken.” Dr. Banner looked at Wade.

"So, this Thanksgiving, we're going to kidnap the President and offer him up to the Native American ghosts to continue this curse?" Wade's eyes gleamed, his heart filled with eager anticipation.

"You don't need to do anything, just watch me chant the incantation."

“Alright then. I have things to do on Thanksgiving, I can’t be with you, Dr. Banner,” Wade said.

“I know who the intruder in your room is,” Dr. Banner said to Wade.

"who is it?"

"Your neighbor."

"what?"

“Your neighbor borrowed money from loan sharks, and the gang is demanding that he pay it back before Thanksgiving. He knows you’re not home, so he wants to raid your house.”

“But nothing was stolen from my house. It’s just my mattress that was damaged,” Wade said, puzzled.

“You don’t have anything of value in your house, so he thought you hid the money in your mattress and tore it open with a knife to check it.”

“This guy is incredibly stupid; he didn’t even look through my fridge,” Wade said, frowning.

When Wade retired, he amassed a pile of gold coins, which he hid in his refrigerator. Today, he even took out one of the coins and showed it to Johnny to ask him a question.

“He looked into your fridge, and there was nothing in it except expired hot sauce.”

"You'll be quiet when someone steals your refrigerator," Dr. Banner said.

“Dr. Banner, you really did see everything,” Wade said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't care about your gold coins."

“My name has been on the mission list in the underworld for the years I’ve been missing,” Dr. Banner said.

"Who wants to kill you? Dr. Banner, I'll take care of this person for you."

"They don't want to kill me, they want to capture me alive."

"So it was a capture alive. No wonder no one took the mission." Wade curled his lip.

Capture alive is the least popular type of mission in the underworld because it requires the person to be alive. The most common and popular mission is, of course, the murder mission.

“Some say my personal value is equivalent to half of the United States’ military power, which is a rather conservative analogy,” Dr. Banner said.

"The most intelligent brain in human history, I know that, on par with Einstein. With Dr. Banner's wisdom, we can accomplish another event that changes human history, comparable to the Manhattan Project."

“Not wisdom,” Dr. Banner said.

"It's Hulk." The Hulk in his spiritual form appeared silently behind Wade and poked Wade's back with his green index finger.

Chapter 217 Hulk's favorability -10

"Wow! Who is this?!"