I, Kousaka Kyousuke, the Knight of the Helping Table

"No, Kyousuke's butt isn't good at all! So stop playing with it."

Artoria put her hands on her hips and looked at Shaka. This was a matter of territorial sovereignty and there was absolutely no room for compromise.

"You're just plain jealous, right? Actually, you also want to play with Kyousuke's ass, right?"

Shaka said as he patted Altria's buttocks, "Hmm... it feels a bit rough. No wonder you don't like Kyousuke's buttocks. It turns out that you can't compare to him."

"No, mine is obviously better..." Artoria was frightened by Scathach's momentum and took a step back. Then she realized that she was deliberately teasing her. So Artoria could only pretend to be indifferent and said, "What's so great about it? It's just a butt..."

"Butt, butt. Could you two stop mentioning my butt?"

Seeing these two people commenting on his buttocks so unscrupulously in front of everyone, Kyosuke himself couldn't stand it anymore.

My two sisters, you don't care about my face, but I do care about it! How can I brag in front of Gil and Enkidu in the future?

"You are such an ungrateful brat. I am praising you."

Scathach shook her head, took out a cigarette from the pocket of her tights, lit it with her fingers, and began to puff out smoke, with a look that said, "Kid, Mom is very disappointed in you."

"Master, if you really want to praise me, please don't just praise my back half, please praise my front half as well, thank you."

Unfortunately, Kyosuke still grumbled about the bottom line of this female hooligan.

"So you like this tune? Then Kyousuke, your majestic O——"

"Stop! STOP!! Stop it! It's my fault. It's my fault. Let's move on to the next round."

Kyosuke quickly made a pause gesture to stop the old lady from continuing to make dirty jokes. He finally realized what it meant to be invincible if you have no shame.

"Tsk~ That's boring. I wanted to praise your firm chest muscles. You know, when I hugged you just now, your chest muscles felt pretty good to me."

Forget it. If I didn’t say stop, the word you said would definitely not be chest muscles. I heard the sound of ○.

Kyosuke said that anyone who believed this was a fool, and he turned his head to look at the lottery box, intending to ignore this female devil for the time being.

"Okay, let's get started then."

Seeing that everyone put their hands on the lottery tube, Jill gave the order to start the game again.

““1…2…3…Who is the king?””

"it's me."

This time, King Lao Fu did not give any other chance to guess, and consciously showed the king lot he drew.

"Well then... Number 5 and Number 2, why don't you two dance together."

What does this command mean?

Kyosuke didn't understand Holmes' logic at first. Generally speaking, shouldn't he have issued an order that was more shameful than the price? The dance was much worse than he remembered.

"I'm number 5."

Gilgamesh took out his lot and looked at Enkidu expectantly.

"I'm number 2."

Cu Chulainn felt that his luck today was extremely bad. Why did it become his turn again?

"Damn it... come on."

Cu Chulainn stood up somewhat dejectedly and held out his hand to Gil, asking him to dance with him.

Although dancing with a man is disgusting, it is much better than scolding yourself. The scene just now can be said to be restricted.

However, Jill did not reach out his hand but directly tied Cu Chulainn tightly with the Heavenly Chain.

"Wait, what are you going to do—"

Before Cu Chulainn could finish his words, Gil was shaking him like a sack.

"Dance."

Jill answered the big dog's questions expressionlessly, and used her hands to control the chains to make the tied up strong dog perform difficult moves similar to the Thomas turn.

Snapped!

When the big dog was thrown heavily to the ground, Jill indicated that the dance was over.

"Okay, it's over."

"What kind of dancing is this, you idiot?!"

"This is a characteristic war dance of ancient Babylon. Since my country has long been extinct, it is natural that you don't know it."

"Go to hell!"

Cu Chulainn stumbled out of the Heavenly Chains. He felt as if the whole room was spinning and he couldn't stand still.

"Hurry up and start the next game."

Cu Chulainn pointed at everyone with a shaking finger, urging them to hurry up and open the next one.

Lao Fu looked at him apologetically: "Sorry... I haven't said that yet... This is an order. Please execute it."

"..."

So Thomas did the big slalom*2.

"I'm going to kill you."

Cu Chulainn tried hard to suppress the urge to vomit. He said that he would not leave the field until he got the king once.

"Then continue..."

““1…2…3…Who is the king?””

"Ah, not again."

"Neither am I."

"Unfortunately... it wasn't me."

Everyone felt something was wrong. Why didn't anyone get the royal signature?

"Could it be that……"

Kyosuke looked back and saw Yokoshima standing there with the king's lottery ticket.

How on earth did this guy reach out and draw the lot? He didn't even notice her presence!

"Really? You can't quarrel~ burp~~" Yokoshima burped, "I saw you quarreling from the beginning to the end! You must get along well with each other and can't quarrel. How about this, let's all have a drink together. Alcohol is the best medicine to communicate feelings. This is the king's order~"

So that night everyone present drank urine.

Chapter 6 Kyosuke: Every time I wake up from a hangover, I always encounter something strange

"Well……"

My throat felt hot and painful, as if something was burning.

This was the first feeling Kyosuke had about his body after waking up, and the uncomfortable tingling sensation made him groan.

Kyousuke had completely lost his memory of how much alcohol he drank last night under Yokoshima's strange order. At least in his limited memory, he had never drunk so much alcohol in his two lifetimes combined. Both the quantity and quality were far beyond what he had ever drunk before. And by the end of the drinking, Kyousuke had already developed an indescribable fear of alcohol. This feeling of wanting to urinate when seeing liquids was really a terrible experience.

You have to know that under the influence of the Noble Phantasm, it is completely useless to use tricks like the Toilet Escape to exit midway. Although you can go to the toilet, after solving your physiological problems, you still have to go back to the table and continue drinking.

And he seemed to be the one who drank the least? Those perverts seemed to have almost emptied everyone's wine cabinet in the store. For Yingling, a non-human who could drink wine as if it were Sprite, this kind of thing was a piece of cake. Judging from the expressions of those people that Kyosuke spied on while they were drinking, Lily, the master, and Laofu were obviously going for Jill's collection.

However, Kyosuke had not expected that Yokoshima could actually fight against those Heroic Spirits as a human. He originally thought that the half-drunk guy would soon fall down. So Yokoshima was also a great person. If Yokoshima had not been drunk and tried to take off Enkidu's clothes and was knocked unconscious by Jill with a bottle, it is estimated that the first person to fall down besides Kyosuke would have been a big deal.

But when he thought of the half-empty wine cabinet in the store, Kyosuke felt that it would be difficult to do business tonight.

"Damn it... I hope that rich man can compensate for the loss..."

Kyousuke opened his eyes dazedly. He drank so much yesterday that he didn't even know where he slept. Although he felt that he was lying on the bed, the touch of the sheets was obviously not in his own room.

Then he saw something quite terrifying coming into his sight—Enkidu’s handsome sleeping face…

Wait, what's going on?! ⊙?⊙

Am I still drunk?

Kyosuke rubbed his eyes with his hand, closed them and thought for a moment before opening them again.

It was still Enkidu's face.

Good, I’m not hallucinating.

Kyosuke covered his mouth to prevent himself from screaming, otherwise if Gilgamesh, that narrow-minded guy, found out that he was sleeping with Enkidu, being pierced by thousands of arrows would be the least of his worries.

"Hmm... meow..."

Meow, you big-headed ghost! How can you be so cute even when you are sleeping! Σ(っ°Д°;)っ

It was the first time that Kyosuke knew that Enkidu could imitate a cat's meow when he fell asleep. Although it looked cute, it was a sweet trap wrapped in honey.

You need to calm down, Kyousuke. This guy is already in a relationship. You like a gentle older sister, not this pseudo-girl whose gender is questionable.

Don't stay here for long.

Kyosuke decided to leave here and slowly moved out of bed without waking Enkidu. So Kyosuke turned over and faced Enkidu as quietly as possible, and then he saw Gilgamesh's face (sleeping soundly).

Ha ha……

The previous part is omitted.

Grandma in heaven, I'm coming to see you soon.

Kyosuke is now in a state of wanting to cry but having no tears. Why is he squeezed in the middle by this pair of friends? What happened last night? ? ! ! 0ДQ

"Enkidu..."

Jill muttered her best friend's name and moved closer to Kyosuke.

Damn, you pervert! Don't come close! I'm not your little Enen! ∑(?Д?ノ)ノ

Facing Jill who was getting closer and closer to him, Kyosuke shamelessly chose the fake girl over the man. At least Enki would not defile his mouth. If he continued to face Jill, he might be sucked out of his tongue. But before Kyosuke could turn around and leave the back of his head to Jill, the other party grabbed his head with his hands.

"Don't be shy..."

Are you really asleep?

Kyosuke wanted to punch Gil in the face to wake him up. Even if he wanted to hit him afterwards, it would still be better than the current situation. However, man proposes, God disposes. Enkidu, who was originally quiet behind him, seemed to sense Gil's attention and moved closer to Gil. His limbs wrapped around Kyosuke like an octopus.