I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"what--"

As if the prank had worked, she pushed my face slightly back and a smile appeared on her face.

"This is a girl's precious first kiss—in exchange for this, you must provide me with more support and encouragement in our future interactions."

"...Um."

After feeling relieved from the excitement and shyness, I agreed to her request.

"Relieve me from this boring life."

Are there people who maintain their original curiosity about everything and are tireless in their pursuit? When doubts arise in my heart, questions that I can't figure out on my own, how many people will be there to accompany me and worry about me...

I believe everyone will have a different answer, but the answer I have seems to be the only one.

The person who provided me with the answer was right in front of me.

This is the only happiness I am sure I can have.

Snowflakes drifting into the shadows

My consciousness, immersed in a thick, dark dream, suddenly felt a chill, and I struggled slightly to break through that illusory world. As if being pulled by something, my eyelids felt heavy and sore that I couldn't open them at all, and my body couldn't move at all.

This is what deep sleep is like... Even if you want to move, your consciousness controls the body created in the dream.

Just a little movement... just a little...

After continuous efforts, I finally managed to stretch my legs, which had been curled up for some reason. At this moment, I felt my body gradually fall, and before I could figure out what was happening, I felt a pain in the back of my head.

“Aaaaaa——!”

The heavy dream dissipated in an instant. After slightly opening my still tired eyes, I found myself lying on the ground. Beneath me was the super comfortable lounge chair I had just bought as a reward for myself two days ago.

"It hurts so much..." He rubbed the back of his head with both hands, and then his body began to slowly roll to the side. Then he drove the rusty joints and gradually completed the extremely difficult combination of movements of standing up.

"...So sleepy."

It is indeed a lounge chair. The only other experience that allows me to fall asleep on my stomach is during math class in high school.

The only light in the dim room was the computer screen, which was still on. Using the little light, I lifted my chair and began to search for the chill that had disrupted my sleep.

"Is it raining..." After a quick inspection, I finally pinpointed the source of the problem. I'd left the windows open for ventilation, but now, with the onset of the autumn rain, a cold breeze, tinged with a few water droplets, blew into the room at an inopportune moment.

"..alright."

I closed the windows and turned on the air conditioner, finally warming the room again. I was still sleepy, but even though I couldn't tell what time zone I was in, I still felt hungry. Luckily, there were 24-hour convenience stores near my apartment, so I could buy ready-to-heat meals whenever I woke up. Of course, there were also plenty of other convenient foods that could be simply mixed with hot water.

I can't help but lament the increasingly decadent life I'm leading. Even though I only eat two meals a day, I've gained some belly fat from not exercising much—but then again, if I'm gaining weight, it means I'm living a pretty good life.

It has been nearly three years since I graduated. Although I don’t know what kind of work the people I knew before are doing now, in my opinion, what I am doing now is relatively free.

"really..."

The wind that now brushed my face and right hand was even colder than the wind that had just blown in from the window. The rustling sound of raindrops enveloped the streets illuminated by various lights, and as I walked along, the irregular sound of the raindrops added a touch of rhythm to my footsteps.

The hot air exhaled from the mouth immediately turned into white mist when it met the cold air, and then gradually dissipated.

Before I knew it, summer has already slipped into autumn. I don't know when it started, but time seems to be passing so quickly for me. It feels like I've only been drawing a few pictures and writing a few words, and yet so much time has already flown by. What kind of life am I leading now... Is it enviable? Or is it just pathetic?

"Ding--"

"Welcome... Ah, Mr. Sheji, are you here to choose your lunch box again today?"

"Oh, you're working part-time today too... It's tough." I habitually walked into the convenience store, not noticing she was the one on duty today. She had short black hair, and judging by her face, she seemed to be paying attention to her makeup, though it wasn't particularly dazzling. Although she attended a nearby university, it looked like she couldn't afford to make ends meet, otherwise she wouldn't be working at this time... In contrast, when I was in college, I didn't sleep during this time either, just playing games or watching live streams to kill time.

Anyway, I knew her name from the previous few contacts. It was Yan Xiaoye.

What a remarkable man! I sighed silently in my heart.

"I've chosen..."

"Well, that's forty-six dollars."

"Wait a minute, get me another hot drink."

"Okay... Which one do you want?"

"Which one do you like? Please recommend one to me. I'm not very deep into this kind of research."

"Okay, I usually prefer this strawberry flavored milk tea...it's not very expensive."

"Then... give me a cup." It is true...

"Fifty dollars."

So I held up my phone and let her scan the amount.

"Please take care... wait a moment, Mr. Sheji." She picked up the milk tea on the table, "The drink you asked for hasn't been taken away."

"...It's quite cold today... Although you don't feel it much in the store, it's still quite uncomfortable walking down the street. I'll save that for you to drink when you get off work."

"Eh? Is that okay?"

"...Just take it." I had already opened my umbrella and walked into the still rain as if to show off.

【Meet】 Snowflakes drifting into the shadows

I'm completely free of fatigue, and when I look out the window, I can actually see the sun... It feels like I'm in a different time zone every day. Can my body handle this?... Well, I'm still young, so it shouldn't be a big deal.

However, I've never had much luck. The lottery draws in games always have guaranteed winnings, and I've never found a penny from the ground since I was a child. Perhaps it's because of sacrificing that extra luck that my life is now stable.

“So hungry…”

I fell asleep in my chair again, feeling a sharp pain in my neck and waist. While I felt energetic, my body felt like a worn-out old thing. Stretching as far as I could, I walked to the window and found that the light rain that had been falling in the early morning had stopped.

After a quick wash and a hairband to tuck my messy hair back in place, I was able to look a bit more presentable. Now I could go out... I went to my usual place and ordered a bowl of rice, then on the way back I bought dinner and some water.

"...Although I still have some money left in the budget, it's still better to share a place." After checking my bank account balance on my phone, I couldn't help but lament the hardships of life. Even though this has lasted for two years, it can't last forever. Sooner or later, something has to change. It's just the difference between making the change yourself or being forced to do so by life.

The results are similar no matter which choice I make, so I choose the latter, hoping to change it later when forced.

"Welcome... Oh, you're up early today, Mr. Sheji."

After having what I didn’t know was dinner, lunch or breakfast, I met her again at a convenience store.

"...are you on night shift today?" Yesterday was also...

"No, it just ended in the afternoon." Although she stayed up all night last night, she still looked quite energetic.

"I see..." I muttered to myself and went to pick something.

"Come to think of it, I won't be working here again," she mentioned as she checked out my meal.

"Eh? What happened?"

"No, no, no, I found an internship job and don't need to work anymore." Before I could get nervous, she explained with a smile.

"..congratulations."

I feel a little relieved, not because of the hardships of life.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure if what I'm doing now can be called work... Even though I know she wants to share this joy with me, I can't react in any special way because I have never had this kind of experience.

"Come to think of it... I don't have your contact information, Mr. Sheji."

"...Want to add more?"

I wouldn't ask something like, "Why do you need my contact information?" at a time like this, which would be a disappointment. After all, she's a college student just entering society. Seeing someone like me with such an irregular lifestyle, she'd probably assume I'm quite mature... but unfortunately, even I don't know my own limits. But consider it a way to give her hope, and consider me a reliable mentor.

"Thank you. That's seventy-nine dollars."

"Ah."

【Didi (sound of collecting money)——】

Having said that, I don't think we'll see each other again. She'll definitely meet more reliable people in the company, gradually become familiar with her business, slowly become loyal to her work, and gradually forget about me, someone she had little contact with in the first place.

“Welcome next time.”

"...I will always come." After all, if I don't come, there will be nothing to eat.

But starting tomorrow... the person saying this to me won't be her anymore. Thinking about it, I do feel a sense of loss. It seems like she was the first person I met in this strange city... and I haven't had any contact with anyone else since.

.....

The heavy dream descended upon me once again, mixed with a slight pang of hunger in my stomach. I desperately wanted to wake up and cook noodles, but my body couldn't move. I could only carry out the things I had been thinking about in my dreams, but the hunger didn't subside in the slightest.

"Knock, knock, knock—is anyone there?"

"..." It seemed like someone was knocking on the door.

Could it be that the rent has increased again... The body that received this signal was quickly filled with adrenaline, and the originally active dream was interrupted.

"I'm coming..." I glanced at the time and saw it was already eight in the morning. But considering I didn't fall asleep until around four, it was understandable that I was in a deep sleep now. "Are you looking for me?"

If I get the wrong person, I'll get mad. After all, I get grumpy when I wake up.

"Oh, it's Mr. Sheji."

"...ha?"

Even though I was half asleep, I could still clearly tell who was knocking on the door after hearing the familiar voice.

"It's Xiaoye...how did you find me here?"

"..It's a little cold outside, can we go inside and talk?"

"...Oh, okay." There wasn't anything unusual in the room anyway. "I'm going to go wash my face and be right back."

After asking her to sit down, I went into the bathroom.

It wasn't until the cold water hit my face that I suddenly realized something was wrong.

"No, why are you here?!"

"...It seems you really don't know..."

"Know what?" I was very confused by her words.

“To put it simply, it means that after you find a job, you realize that the person you are working for is you.”

"...What kind of job did you get?" It seemed a bit unreliable. Besides, I didn't need that kind of service...but she probably wasn't that kind of person either.

"I'll be in charge of your work. My internship is over, so now I'm officially... a new employee, assisting you."

"Oh..." I see.

“And a business card…”

It seems quite formal.

"Are you in charge of my comics?" No one had ever discussed the creative direction with me before. "But you're just a newcomer..."

"Mr. Sheji, don't you believe me? Although I'm younger than you, I've studied a lot of works while in school, so I can definitely help." She patted her chest proudly.

"...Okay, but I'm sleepy and hungry now, so I can't guarantee that I can start creating right away." His eyelids were still very heavy and his hands had no strength.

"I guess so. After all, you always go out shopping late at night, so you must be creating in the afternoon and evening. Don't worry, to accommodate you, I will come to your place in the evening."

“..Ah huh?”

"I just came to confirm whether you were...ah, that's a bit strange to say. But when I got the author's information, I guessed it might be you, Mr. Shaji."

"..." We agreed to protect the author's privacy.

"I feel a lot more at ease now that I'm not working for a weird uncle~" she couldn't help but sigh.

"How do you know I'm not a weird old man?" I am very old. I am already 23 years old, and I haven't shaved for several days. My body has aged to the level of a 40 or 50-year-old.

"Mr. Sheji really knows how to joke. Well, I won't bother you anymore. See you this afternoon."

"..."

Before I could say goodbye to her, she had already opened the door and left. This made me wonder if there was some strange smell in my room... After confirming again and again that there was none, I finally filled my stomach with instant noodles as I wished and fell asleep again.

The difference is that this time the dream was quite relaxing.

.....

"Then, let's discuss the next chapter!" "Oh."

In short, as the sun set, the first discussion meeting was carried out in an orderly manner.