mygo, but Cthulhu

"is it?"

Su Shi nodded gently, but there was still no reaction in her heart. She found that she seemed to no longer care about what Li Xi said. Even when she put her hand on her chest and felt the continuous heartbeat, all she could feel was emptiness.

...Revenge is meaningless, so what is meaningful? Or, after losing even Aine, can she still find the so-called meaning?

Nagasaki Suyo looked at the tombstone silently with gloomy eyes, and Riki could only sigh again when she saw her abnormal behavior. She could only hate her own powerlessness again in her heart, and hate why she couldn't save Aine.

…No matter how hard you try, you will still

Nothing has changed, you're still so incompetent, Tatsuki Shiina.

She clenched her fists so tightly that her nails even tore her palms, and blood dripped down. When Lenai was about to speak, a serious voice suddenly sounded from behind her.

"Ritsuki, no matter how much you blame yourself, Aine can no longer come back to life... Stop hurting yourself."

"..."

Li Xi didn't look back. She just stood there with her head down. She didn't even take the jelly handed to her by Hai Ling. After a while, she spoke softly with a bitter expression.

"Two weeks... Not only did we lose Udagawa Ako's life, but Suyo and I also killed over three hundred people, over a hundred of them innocent people... Even after all that, we only gave Aine two weeks of lucidity. In the end, we still had to kill her."

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I don't regret it. I know what kind of crime I committed, but I don't regret what I did... I at least let Aine live for two more weeks. I only hate that I was so useless and couldn't save her in the end."

Lixi shook his head tiredly, and Hailing also sighed. She used magic to heal Lixi's wounds, and also looked at her with a complicated look.

"Ritsuki, I don't mean to blame you...but you risked everything to protect her, and yet, in just two weeks, she's dead, and the price is the lives of Udagawa Ako and many more innocent people."

"Lixi, you should understand, right? We're not the only ones struggling in this world. Those eaten by Aine also had their own lives to live... If their lives could be exchanged for Aine's survival, it would be fine, but she eventually fell into madness. Is her two weeks of life worth that of so many people?"

"Hailing, there's no point in saying this now..."

"So, Hailing, if I were in Aine's situation, would you do this for me?"

Toyokawa Shoko had also approached at this time. She couldn't help but frowned when she heard Hailing's words. When she opened her mouth to persuade her, Li Xi looked up at the black-haired girl with an expressionless face, which made her stunned.

"...I will, but I will only sacrifice innocent people when necessary. I won't kill ordinary people just to satisfy Aine's taste like you did."

After a moment's silence, she nodded slightly, and Li Xi smiled tiredly.

"Hailing, are you still insisting on this? It's all murder anyway. What's the difference between killing gang members and innocent people? Or rather, is there anyone who is truly innocent now?"

"Of course there are truly innocent people. There are many who don't know the truth at all. They haven't done anything wrong. They shouldn't have to endure so much pain..."

"Yeah, but I don't have the energy to care about this anymore. I really don't understand why you still care about such trivial things after you've been through so much with us."

Li Xi interrupted her softly, and Hai Ling couldn't help but widen her eyes slightly. After she reacted, her expression was full of fatigue and incomprehension.

"Lixi... I know you've endured a lot, but you shouldn't say such things, right? No matter how painful it is, we should maintain the most basic bottom line. Otherwise, how can we be considered human beings..."

"We are no longer human, Hailing."

Shiina Riki shook her head indifferently, and while Hailing was stunned, she raised her hand and pointed at herself and others in turn.

"I'm a Tindalosian hybrid. Sushi can borrow the power of Seigia. Lenai was a cat spirit from the beginning. It's not just us, Mujica is the same. Xiangzi is a descendant of Pan. Mu also has extremely high recovery abilities. Chuhua even has crazy blood... We have killed many people, we wield terrifying powers, we are all just monsters."

"But...we should at least try to preserve everything that is human, right?"

Hailing pursed her lips and spoke in a low voice, and Lixi just smiled helplessly and sarcastically, looking at his friend calmly.

"Do you think we still have the energy to do this? We can no longer return to our carefree past... Anyone who stands in my way, innocent or not, I will run over without mercy, because this is the way to survive in this world."

"Hailing, I know you can't forget the people you killed, but I don't think you need to blame yourself... After all, you were just lonely and needed a reason to live. Now, your reason still exists, so what's there to worry about?"

"..."

Hailing opened her mouth to retort, but didn't know what to say. After a while, she silently put the jelly back into her bag, turned around and left with a dejected expression.

"Hailing?"

Toyokawa Shoko raised her hand to stop her, but Hailing did not stop. She subconsciously wanted to chase after her, but then she remembered that she originally came to comfort Lixi and the others. While she was hesitant, Ruoye Mu nodded to her.

"Xiang, I will go find her, don't worry."

"Well, thank you, Mu."

Xiangzi breathed a sigh of relief. She watched Mu follow Hailing away. When she turned around and wanted to say something to Su Shi, who had remained silent, the latter suddenly spoke first.

"Xiangzi... after you successfully eliminate that special charm of yours, have you ever thought about what will happen next?"

"Eh? Sushi, what do you mean?"

Xiangzi didn't expect her to ask this suddenly, and he couldn't help but blinking in confusion. Su Shi also sighed slowly, and then looked at Sanjiao Chuhua calmly.

"I heard you talk about Chuhua, Xiangzi... She killed her mother for you, right? Although she had endured a lot of pain before, she exploded because of you, Xiangzi... In other words, if it weren't for you, she wouldn't have made that choice, and perhaps her mother would still be alive until now."

"If it weren't for Xiaoxiang, I would have degenerated into a beast like my mother sooner or later."

Sankaku Hatsuka responded with a frown, and Nagasaki Suyo nodded without changing her expression.

"Yes, perhaps it's better for you to do this... At least, until Xiangzi's charm is eliminated and the madness in your blood is cured, you can stick to your own ideas, right?"

"…What exactly do you want to say?"

"Sanjiao Chuhua, you once had a family member who always loved you. That was your father. He certainly didn't do well in many areas, but he also sacrificed a lot for you. Even after you killed his wife, he still tried his best to cover up your actions and never resented you in the slightest."

Nagasaki Suyo spoke softly, and Chuhua's expression became uglier as she spoke. She stared at the girl with long flaxen hair, and subconsciously clenched her fists, her voice filled with hostility.

"What does this have to do with you?"

"It's nothing, I'm just feeling a little emotional. You once had a father like that, yet you killed him to free him from this world... Considering everything we've been through, I commend your foresight. After all, being devoured by a monster, infected and transformed into a bloody cross, or simply dying in an accident would all be far more painful than the death you inflicted on him... However, once you're no longer swept up in madness, will you regret your decision?"

"I will regret it? What are you talking about? I killed my father so that he wouldn't have to endure so much. You also said that my decision was correct. After all, if he had lived until now, he would have suffered more..."

Chu Hua frowned and subconsciously retorted, but she had just said half of her words when she suddenly realized something. Her pupils contracted slightly and her voice stopped abruptly.

"You've figured it out, haven't you? Generally speaking, family love is often a two-way street. Just like I would kill innocent people for Aine, and she would insist on living for me, even if she didn't actually want to devour those people... However, this is clearly not the case with you and your father."

Nagasaki Suyo stared at the confusion and hesitation in Chuhua's eyes, and continued speaking softly.

"Your father lived for you, too. He endured the pain of his daughter killing his wife for you. He fabricated lies about himself being the abuser, hoping you could find the satisfaction of revenge while remaining completely in the dark... Yet, your love for him isn't that complicated. It's incredibly simple and pure."

"You saw the pain he was enduring, and you simply decided that he shouldn't have to endure it any longer. You simply gave him death and peace, without considering the impact his death would have on you... After all, you already had Xiangzi, and you didn't need anything more."

"do not talk……"

Chu Hua gradually understood what she meant, and couldn't help but tremble and beg subconsciously, but Su Shi didn't care about the fear on her face, and continued to speak with a flat tone.

"Of course you can do this without worrying about the pain of losing your father, because your childhood was already deformed. It's not so much your blood that makes you crazy, but rather your experiences that play a greater role."

"And on that day, Xiangzi's charm and care made you discover warmth, so you transferred all your love and dedication to her... This is the result of the combined effect of your blood and life, just as her special charm and her help to you are equally indispensable."

"Sanjiao Chuhua, in this respect, you are the same as us. You, too, have transformed pain into obsession. It's just that a variety of conditions have exacerbated this pathological state of yours, causing you to neglect your father... You love him because he treats you well, but your love for him is not to the point of wanting to lose him, because all your love is focused on Xiangzi."

Having said that, Nagasaki Suyo slowly walked in front of Chuhua. She stared at the trembling blonde girl with an expressionless face. When the latter looked up and met her eyes, her body subconsciously tensed up, and the original question was swallowed back.

All she saw in those dark blue eyes was nothingness...and it was precisely because of that nothingness that her own panic and pain were reflected so clearly, so undeniably.

"However, even if this extreme situation is largely due to psychological factors, objective conditions are still an important part... After Xiangzi's charm and your blood madness disappear, I think you will definitely still love her, and I'm afraid the degree will not be much less than now."

Nagasaki Suyo spoke softly, but her calm voice made Chuhua feel as if she had fallen into an icy cave, and she felt an indescribable despair welling up in her.

"Do not……"

"But then you wouldn't be as extreme as you are now... You wouldn't be able to love Xiangzi with all your heart, and you would think of your father. And when you think of your decision back then, I think you would regret it."

"Even if you know rationally that killing him was the best thing for him, you still can't help but think that if you hadn't done that, he could have had a happier life. Perhaps he could still be by your side, and you could do your best to make it up to him."

"Unfortunately, even if you regret it, he'll never come back... But this is actually a good thing, Triangle Chuhua. Death is the most terrifying thing for the living. Unless we actively embrace it, we will never be able to cross this high wall... However, your father is still sleeping peacefully at this moment, which is a blessing for him."

"However, his peace will be your future regret... Once you regain your consciousness, you will be like us, forever unable to break free from this selfish nature."

Chapter 381 Quarrel

"Cough cough cough..."

When Matsubara Kanon pushed open the door, the thick smoke that came towards her made her cough. She subconsciously looked up and saw that the room was dark. There was only a figure sitting silently by the bed, with sparks flashing on the cigarette butt.

"Misaki?"

She asked the question in a low voice tentatively, but received no response. Just when she was at a loss, Seta Kaoru sighed and walked quickly forward, pulling open the curtains to let the sunlight illuminate the room. Only then did Kanon finally see Misaki clearly.

The black-haired girl had a tired expression on her face, and the ashtray beside her was already filled with bent cigarette butts. Until this moment, she had never turned around to look at them, but just silently exhaled smoke, making the smell in the room even more unpleasant.

"Misaki...why do you smoke so much?"

Seta Kaoru opened the window and the fan, frowning in confusion. Ozawa Misaki sighed deeply, pressed the cigarette butt hard into the ashtray, and responded softly after a while.

"I'm sorry, I just feel a little sad, and I don't know how to deal with it."

"Then you shouldn't smoke so much at once. Your body won't be able to handle it."

Seta Kaoru sighed and approached her. When she saw the three empty cigarette boxes in the trash can, her expression became more worried, and Misaki just chuckled to herself.

"Don't worry, Xun. I'm a monster who can single-handedly slaughter the entire Sanyuan headquarters. It's just a few cigarettes. What does it matter to me?"

"Don't say that, Misaki. I know you don't want to kill Charlotte either, you just have to..."

"do not talk!"

Seta Kaoru put her hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her, but Misaki's face suddenly twisted. She sat up from the bed out of control, gritting her teeth and roaring as she shook her hand off, leaving both Kaoru and Kanon stunned for a moment.

"...I'm sorry, Xun, I didn't mean to yell at you, I just...I just don't know what to do."

After realizing what she had done, Ozawa Misaki's expression became painful again. She trembled and whispered an apology to Seta Kaoru, covering her face tightly, trying hard to suppress the urge to cry.

"My brother and sister also took the initiative to kill people... Even though I fought desperately until now, I still couldn't protect them. They were still twisted into this state by this world. They simply can't understand why I persisted..."

"Xiao Xun, Hanane, I'm so tired, I feel so uncomfortable, why do I have to endure so much? I really can't stand it anymore, I really want to give up..."

She sobbed and hugged Xun tightly, and the latter could only pat her back tiredly, trying to comfort her, hoping that he could make her feel better.

"It's okay, Misaki, we're still here. Don't be sad, we'll always be with you."

She and Kanon hugged Misaki and tried their best to comfort her in a low voice. With their efforts, Misaki's emotions finally calmed down a little bit. She gradually regained her sanity amid sobs and apologized guiltily.

"I'm sorry, Xun, Hanane, I looked so ugly just now..."

"Don't say that, Misaki. We all know how much you've sacrificed for us. You've worked so hard from the beginning until now. We actually blame ourselves for not being able to help you more."

Seta Kaoru sighed bitterly and responded weakly.

"It would be great if we could be as powerful as you. Then we could take risks with you."

"...No, it's better that you don't take this risk with me. I know none of you want to kill Charlotte. I'll bear this pain and sin alone."

After a moment of silence, Misaki silently shook her head. When she was about to say something else, the blonde girl suddenly walked into the room and asked softly with a serious and caring expression.

"Misaki, how are you feeling now?"

"..."

Ozawa Misaki didn't answer immediately, but gave her a very complicated look, and after a long while, she spoke slowly and tiredly.

"Xian Juanxin, you actually know that my brother and sister took the initiative to participate in that murder activity, right?"

"Yes, I know that. When they volunteered to sign up, I got the news right away."

Genmaki Shin was not surprised by her question and nodded calmly. Misaki couldn't help but grit her teeth and looked up at her angrily.

"In that case, why do you..."

"Why didn't I tell you? Misaki, you were still in a coma at that time, and their attitude was so firm. I couldn't tell them to wait until your sister woke up and then ask for her opinion... They wouldn't accept it. Besides, they also want to actively adapt to this world. This is actually a good thing for them."

"A good thing? Do you think teaching a child to kill someone is a good thing?!"

Even though she had been angry many times because of the strange girl in front of her, Ozawa Misaki still couldn't control her emotions. She spoke slowly with gritted teeth, and Genmaki Shin nodded calmly, her tone extremely calm.

"Misaki, I understand you don't want them to be stained with blood, but I think a little more strength and determination on their part would help them protect themselves. After all, we just fought a war, and the world is full of dangers."

"These dangers are clearly caused by you. If you hadn't established this damn system, allowing technology to advance so rapidly and weapons to proliferate to this extent, how could things have turned out like this?!"

Ozawa Misaki walked up to her and stared into her eyes angrily, while the blonde girl looked up and met her gaze with a calm smile on her face.

"Yes, this is all my fault. If you're willing, Misaki, you can do it to me again like you did last time. As long as it helps you vent your pain, I'm happy to cooperate with you."

"...I'm not interested in doing that right now. What's your purpose for coming here?"

After a moment of silence, Misaki couldn't help but sigh. She asked in a tired whisper, and Genmaki Shin just shrugged.

"Of course I'm here to check on your condition. Even though the doctors have tremblingly assured me many times, I still need to see you in person to feel at ease... By the way, there's something else I want to discuss with you."

"what's up?"

"Tamade Chiyu has requested a ceasefire and offered extremely generous benefits. This means she will no longer be able to compete with us. I believe it's time to negotiate..."

"Reject her,"