mygo, but Cthulhu

Ozawa Misaki spoke through gritted teeth, and Genmaki Shin couldn't help but be stunned for a moment, thinking and slowly asking.

"Misaki, are you trying to reignite the war? You're aware of how many people have died so far, right?"

"Of course I know, but if we don't completely eliminate Zhu Shou Zhiyou and the others now, it means they will have time to slowly recover. If a war breaks out in the future, the casualties will be much greater than if we continue the war now."

Misaki sighed and explained softly and weakly, with a sad and depressed look in her eyes.

"I know that life can't be measured in simple numbers... But as long as there are no more hostile companies in this city, such a terrible war should never happen again."

"I understand what you mean, Misaki... However, I'm afraid your wish won't be fulfilled."

Genmaki Kokoro responded softly, and Misaki couldn't help but be stunned for a moment. After she realized what was happening, she frowned and her voice became serious.

"You still want to negotiate peace with Tamade Chiyu? Why?"

"She threatened in a message that if I insisted on destroying them, she would recklessly attack other countries before her death, causing the entire world to suffer huge casualties."

Genmaki explained, and at the same time, she saw Misaki's expression becoming more and more ugly, and she couldn't help but sigh in her heart.

"By then, the other countries will tear up the agreements I worked so hard to reach with them. They'll send their armies to capture this place and completely destroy it... Misaki, you definitely don't want to see that happen, do you?"

"..."

Misaki Ozawa didn't say anything. She was silent for a long time, then sat down on the bed dejectedly. After a while, she squeezed out a hoarse voice.

"Doesn't Jojuku care about the lives of innocent people?"

"If she cared, she wouldn't have the power she has now."

Genmaki Shin patted Misaki's shoulder, and the latter lowered her head exhaustedly. She stared at the ground in confusion, only to feel the familiar feeling of powerlessness surge up again, making her feel as if she was drowned by the surging waves and fell into the dark coldness.

"...Xian Juanxin, aren't you most concerned about your own interests right now? Charlotte declared war on you, which must have caused you a lot of losses... Why did you still try to persuade me not to kill her?"

She looked up at the girl beside her, and Xian Juanxin was stunned for a moment before her expression became a little complicated. She sighed lightly, pursed her lips, and then slowly responded.

"Misaki, I've never said that what I care about most is profit. I've indeed changed a lot. I've used bloody and cruel means to gain power and capital. I've allowed the company's order to cover this city... But, these are just my means. I have only one most important goal, and that is to protect you."

"Xia Li's impulsiveness did disrupt my plans, but she is still my friend. I originally wanted to defeat the Sanyuan Group and then capture her... However, you were so angry that you insisted on killing her and the other executives directly. I had no choice but to agree to your request."

"...So, in your eyes, my opinion is more important than her life?"

Misaki Ozawa stared at her, and Shin Genmaki couldn't help but sigh again, her expression showing depression and fatigue.

"Misaki, I didn't want to make a choice, but given your condition at that time, if I had rejected you, you would have gone against the Mizono Group alone... Even if you were strong enough to change the situation, you wouldn't be able to fight against so many troops alone. You would have been exhausted to death."

"Xia Li is very important to me. I don't want to lose her if I can help it. But this war was started by her after all. If I have to choose between her and you, I can only choose you because you are more important to me."

"Am I more important to you?"

Ozawa Misaki stared at her blankly, and slowly repeated her words in a daze. After a long pause, she couldn't help but laugh bitterly with an absurd heart, her voice filled with incomprehensible sobs of collapse.

"Xian Juanxin, do you know what you're saying? Ever since Yumei's death, you've been deceiving me and using me. You made me help you suppress the students, you deprived me of my freedom, and made the tens of thousands of people I personally arrested become corpses... You turned my classmates into fanatical tools, and you made my family take killing for granted... After you've done so much to me, you tell me that in your eyes, I'm more important than Charlotte?"

"Misaki..."

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

Genmaki spoke softly with a complicated tone, and Ozawa Misaki angrily grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall, her face distorted as she stared at those strange eyes.

"Since you care about me so much, why do you make me suffer, break down, and despair over and over again?! If you really are like you said, then just go back to the way you were before! I don't want to see the disgusting you you are now!"

"That's enough, Misaki!"

Xianjuanxin looked at her tiredly and silently, but before she could say anything, Ozawa Misaki was suddenly pushed away with force. She staggered back a step, and subconsciously looked up in disbelief to meet Xun's painful and disappointed eyes.

"Misaki, you heard what Kokoro just said. She gave up Charlotte for you... She's obviously our mutual friend. Don't you think Kokoro wouldn't be sad to give up on her? She had to do it to save you!"

"Xiao Xun... do you know what you're talking about? Charlotte started this war, and this guy who looks like Kokoro, she slaughtered so many people and used our classmates as experimental materials..."

"Even so, are you going to keep blaming her and venting your anger on her?!"

Seta Kaoru interrupted her with gritted teeth. While Misaki was stunned, she quickly walked over, grabbed Misaki's collar, and roared tremblingly.

"Who do you think helped your family plan the safest living area when you were devastated by the tragic deaths of innocent people? Who do you think established the most basic order when you were angry at your classmates who had volunteered?!"

"You broke your heart like that for these people who have nothing to do with us, and she never even fought back. You killed Charlotte because of your own impulse, and she never blamed you for a single word... After all this, do you still want to treat her like this?!"

"..."

Misaki Ozawa looked at her in confusion, completely unable to understand why she suddenly became the one in the wrong. She subconsciously turned to look at Kanon, who also lowered her head silently. Her confused expression showed that she didn't know who she should speak for.

"Misaki, Kokoro did do a lot of cruel things... but, as she said, all the sins she committed were for us. Without her, your family and I wouldn't be able to live well until now. Without your cybernetic enhancements, you wouldn't have enough strength to ensure everyone's safety. We even have to worry about food every day and suffer from the rapid decline in living conditions."

At this time, Seta Kaoru sighed deeply, she let go of Ozawa Misaki, and whispered tiredly, her tone full of disappointment and pleading.

"I know it's hard for you to accept her changes, so we gave you a long time to adjust... But you're still like this until now, blaming everything on Kokoro and relying on her love for you to act recklessly... Misaki, you can't go on like this."

"...So, according to you, I should throw away my humanity, everything else, and praise her for her touching dedication to slaughtering innocent people for us?"

After a moment of silence, Misaki spoke softly, and Seta Kaoru just shook her head.

"I just hope you can face up to everything she's done for us, instead of blindly repeating her sins... She holds power, but we are the only ones she can truly trust. In this precarious world, shouldn't we be more tolerant of her?"

"To the point of completely abandoning our past, the very foundation of our hello, happy world, and taking massacre for granted? Xun, don't you think this is absurd?"

"At least, she cares about us, and that's enough for me."

"Really? Does she really care about us?"

Ozawa Misaki gave a bitter smile, then slowly turned to look at the blonde girl who was standing there silently, and spoke softly with an expressionless face.

"Xian Juanxin, if you really care about us, then what about what Amoris told me? You are using Yumei's brain data to create a consciousness similar to her, right? When you do this, have you considered our feelings? Don't you think that this behavior will only tarnish Yumei?"

"..."

After hearing her words, Xianjuanxin couldn't help but be stunned for a moment. She subconsciously opened her mouth and wanted to say something, but it was difficult to squeeze out the sound. At this time, Seta Kaoru and Matsubara Kanon also turned their heads to look at her in surprise, their expressions full of disbelief.

"Heart... Is what Misaki said true?"

"...Yes, what she said is true."

After a long silence, Genmaki sighed and nodded, and they suddenly didn't know what to say. When they were feeling complicated, Misaki quickly walked up to her, stared into her eyes, gritted her teeth and spoke slowly.

"Now, can you answer me? Xian Juanxin, why did you create a fake? You know very well that even if you succeed, that consciousness is not Yumei at all... Apart from blaspheming everything about Yumei, your actions are completely meaningless."

"I know that, Misaki."

Xian Juanxin answered softly, then she smiled bitterly and tried to squeeze out the sound with trembling hands.

"I've asked myself many times why I have to do this, why I still can't accept Yumei's death... I can't give an answer, but I still can't stop. I desperately try to complete all of this, want to fill the void in my heart... Even though I know this is just a persistence that is doomed to fail."

"Misaki, I understand why you hate me. I don't expect your understanding, and I am willing to accept all your anger and hatred... But I sincerely hope that you can continue to stay by my side. I can't lose you."

"Do I have a choice, Master Xianjuan?"

Ozawa Misaki responded sarcastically in a low voice, and while Genmaki Shin was stunned, she walked straight past her, put her hand on the door handle, and spoke with a sneer without looking back.

"After all, like Xun said, you've sacrificed so much for me. My family can live a safe life because of you... No matter what you've done, no matter how I feel, I have no choice but to stay here."

"You've got the power and capital you wanted, and you've already bound me tightly with invisible chains... Now that things have come to this, please stop telling me you care about me. I've had enough of your lies."

"Misaki..."

"Boom!"

Xian Juanxin turned around in panic, but all she saw was a heavily closed door, like a final, cold rejection from her friend.

In confusion and chaos, Xianjuanxin saw Xun and Hanane saying something to her worriedly, but she could not hear anything. There was only a noisy buzzing in her ears, which made her head ache.

She subconsciously reached out to the door, but she could clearly feel that what she had lost might never come back... Misaki, it was impossible

Trust her again.

...My heart aches so much, I feel so uncomfortable, so painful...Why did everything turn out like this?

Xian Juanxin couldn't help but ask herself in her heart, but she actually knew the answer, and in the end she could only sob weakly and desperately.

If you want to get something, you have to pay for something else... She finally had huge capital and violence as she wished, but what she had to pay was everything she had ever had, that is, Misaki's love for her.

…Even if the price was too heavy to be devastating, she still had no choice.

Chapter 382 About Self

"Boom, boom,"

Ruoye Mu knocked on the door gently, and after waiting for a moment, she spoke tentatively in a low voice.

"Hailing, can I come in?"

There was no response from inside, so she waited quietly at the door. A minute later, Hailing's tired voice finally sounded.

"Come in if you want."

After getting her reply, Ruoye Mu opened the door. What greeted him was not sunlight, but white light. The black-haired girl was slumped on the edge of the bed. The room with drawn curtains was filled with various things, from small dolls to Buddhist beads. Except that they were all stained with blood, these things had nothing in common.

Ruoye Mu walked carefully through the gap between them and came to Hailing step by step. She still kept her head down and spoke softly after a while.

"Do you know what these are?"

If Ye Mu didn't say anything, she understood that the girl in front of her just needed someone to talk to. After waiting for a moment, Hai Ling continued to speak, her voice full of suppression.

"When I was a hunter on the committee, I had a habit. Whenever I had to kill innocent people due to orders, I would take something from them and keep it... This behavior was of course not allowed, but fortunately, Chuhua's father helped me cover it up, and my actions were not discovered in the end."

"Sometimes, I don't even know why I do this. After all, what's the point of this behavior? However, as I collected more and more relics, I began to understand why I did this... I just don't want to be like other hunters, treating life as worthless. I want to remind myself that the crimes I committed were all to keep myself alive, nothing more."

Having said that, Hailing's expression became bitter. She took a deep breath, buried her head in her knees, and her body couldn't help but tremble.

"But... when I came to my senses, the world had become too strange and terrifying. Nothing had improved with the collapse of the committee. After President Tsuzuki died, everything was completely out of control... Even Riki had unknowingly become like that, no longer caring about life at all."

"Mu, what should I do? I want to keep going with you guys, but I'm afraid that sooner or later I'll become someone I won't even recognize... Will I still be Hachiman Kairei then?"

"Yes, because no matter how much we've been through, we're still ourselves. It's just that pain often makes us doubt this."

Ruoye Mu responded softly and seriously, and at the same time leaned over and gently held Hailing's hand, slowing down his voice and trying to comfort her.

"Hailing, I know how you feel, but as long as you can remain firm, you don't have to worry about whether you will be unrecognizable."

"I was once overwhelmed by confusion and pain. I gave up on myself and let despair overwhelm me... But later I realized that as long as we can persevere, we can eventually face the future, no matter how it takes."

"...I know your past, Mu. I believe the pain you endured must be much heavier than my guilt. After all, I was the one who inflicted the harm, not the one who was abused like you."

There was a moment of silence before Hai Ling murmured a complicated response. She sighed and looked up to meet those calm golden eyes.

The next moment, her words made Mu's pupils shrink instantly.

"Then, Mu, I want to ask you, when you rejected Hastur and chose to return to Xiangzi, was it really a decision you made for yourself?"

"...Why do you suddenly ask this?"

After a moment of silence, Ruoye Mu finally reacted. She was confused and asked questions subconsciously. The black-haired girl stared at her seriously for a while, then sighed and explained.

"To be honest, I've always considered myself a very self-centered person. While my classmates were discussing projects, costumes, and bands, I was more focused on the deceased's final expressions and how weapons were used... Therefore, I could clearly feel my own pain and unwillingness, and clearly see my struggle every minute and every second."

"But, Mu, the moment I saw you for the first time, I knew something was wrong. Even if many people say you look like a doll, you are still a human being. As long as you are human, you have your own self... However, I cannot see yourself in your eyes."

"..."

Wakaba Mu's body froze, even her breathing stopped completely. Her calm expression was completely frozen, and she stared straight into Hachiman Kailing's eyes. The latter did not retreat and looked back at her, continuing in a low voice.

"So, when you said back then that you didn't consider yourself a human, but rather an idol, I wasn't surprised at all. After all, I've never seen you truly consider yourself. You've always just considered Xiangzi your master, willing to give and endure everything for her."

"However, she had never experienced so much before. After she learned the truth, she couldn't accept you as you were. So you left in a daze, feeling abandoned. A puppet without its master is naturally worthless... I think we should even be grateful to Hastur for this. If He hadn't chosen you, you would have probably killed yourself that night."

"Then why do you keep repeating the facts?"

Ruoye Mu responded in a low voice, and Hailing sighed helplessly. She looked around at the large number of relics around her, and instead of answering her immediately, she stood up and packed them into the box.

The light green-haired girl also helped her clean up. When the room was finally completely cleaned, Hachiman Kailing silently looked at the sin that she couldn't let go of for a moment, then slowly exhaled.

"Mu, thank you for staying with me. I was afraid I would become a stranger... But after talking to you about this, I realized that change is inevitable. In today's world, we can only cherish what we still have, rather than being trapped in the past."

She raised her hand and used magic to make the boxes float up, and took them out of the room. Ruo Ye Mu followed quietly, and then she saw the black-haired girl let the boxes fall to the open ground. The flames condensed by the spell quickly engulfed them, and the smoke and dust floated into the sky.

"Since I am the Timoris of Avemujica, I must actively accept my changes. I can no longer be bound by things like the value of life... Because if I continue to stand still, sooner or later I will fall behind you, and I cannot accept this."

She sighed, as if she had accepted the fact that she would become selfish. She smiled and held Wakaba Mu's hand, looking at her sincerely.

"Mu, I now understand that it is not necessary to cling to the past to be human... As long as you can have your own self, you can truly

Only those who possess selfishness can be considered human beings."

"Back then, you responded to Xiangzi's prayers only because you believed Xiangzi wanted you to be her puppet again, so you gave up Hastur as your master... However, as your teammate, I sincerely hope that you can possess the selfishness that belongs to a human being, rather than continue to fill the puppet's shell with your own flesh and blood."

"...The other me used to think this way, but now she's been taken away by Hastur, and I can no longer think this way."

After a moment of silence, Ruo Yemu shook her head slightly, and Hailing also denied her statement in a serious voice.

"Mu, I know that a part of you can no longer come back... But she and you are the same person. Her desires are ultimately your desires. Since she has an independent self, I believe you can do it too."