As a commander, I will never meet a heavy female ship girl

Roommate: Log in, log in, the naval battle Genshin Impact is activated! We're going to play CW today!
Lorraine: Ok ok, go go go! (Closes tablet, opens computer)
Roommate: Wait, what are you looking at?
(Flips open tablet) (Tablet makes an inopportune sound: AZURLANE)
Roommate: You got blue?!
Roommate (pointing at Lorraine's nose): How did you get your nose dyed blue?!
Lorraine (crouches down with her head in her hands)
Roommate (anxious, speaking very fast): Did you know that the senior next door has been playing Azure for a month and said he wants to get 680 in the college entrance examination to enter the Maritime Academy to fight against the Sirens. Now he is going crazy!
(Play mp4:)
Senior (kneeling down in his Commander Academy uniform, holding his roommate's hand): Please come with me to the Maritime Academy and teach me how to chase ship girls! Wow, Darcy!
Senior's roommate (quickly pulls his hand back): You really are obsessed with yourself. End of video.
Roommate (scratching his hair in annoyance): Yes, yes, you are just starting to play Azure.
Roommate (pulling out his phone, speaking rapidly): It’s not too late to mend your ways and change your choice of school now!
Roommate (holding Lorraine's shoulders and shaking them hard): If you really choose Commander Academy as your only choice, you'll be ruined!
Lorraine: It's too late! I've already passed the Commander Academy and found my shipgirl!
Lorraine: There's no turning back!
Roommate (so angry that he fainted)