Ikari Shinji's Harem Comedy Daily Life

"...A bottle of beer? How much?"

"No, a bottle of vodka." Xiao Ding shook his head and said, "It's only 65 degrees, not much..."

"Snap!" Maya Ibuki saw her senior sister easily break a pen with just a force of her right hand.

"How many milliliters is that bottle of vodka?"

"...Uh, it looks like the regular packaging. 750ml, I guess... Oh, I tried Kirin yesterday, and honestly, it tasted pretty good..."

Hiss! The surrounding male testers all gave a thumbs-up in their hearts. This guy is really good! He drank half a pound of 65-proof liquor, and then drank a few cans of beer mixed in - are you crazy? ...

"Maya, take him down and do a test! Let's see what the concentration is in his blood right now." Akagi Ritsuko covered her head, looked at Ikari deeply, and said, "Shinji-kun, I solemnly ask you here - piloting an EVA is not a joke. I know you've been in the Soviet Union for many years, but! You're only 14 years old, how can you drink alcohol!!!"

"? I started drinking it when I was ten, and there's no major problem. My intelligence hasn't declined, my marksmanship is still very accurate, and I'm doing all the exercises." Ikari spread his hands and said, "Hey, isn't it just driving a large robot in battle? Don't worry, dear Miss Ritsuko - I guarantee it with my life, I will be absolutely fine even if I drink a pound now. Whether it's a tank, military vehicle, helicopter or large transport plane, I can drive it steadily. I can also fight, I..."

"Shut up! Eva isn't an ordinary large robot. You have no idea what an operating system looks like—you... you don't know how to spell death unless you suffer a little. Maya, drag him down... and, give him... a white coat."

Looking at Xiao Ikari's appearance, Akagi Ritsuko was still a little scared. This military uniform really made people feel uncomfortable.

Wearing a white coat should make things better.

As Akagi directed the other personnel to make adjustments to the test, Ritsuko felt the need to stop the test. Ritsuko's assistant, Maya Ibuki, found her own white lab coat and gave it to Ikari. The 24-year-old was a fangirl of Ritsuko's.

Gay guy.

Before the old theatrical version was completed, the one I saw was Ritsuko Akagi - and I gnawed on it.

She is Ritsuko's favorite assistant and junior schoolmate. She has mysophobia, but is in good mental condition - a rare conscience in NEVR.

"You really pissed me off today—Ikari Shinji-kun… Ah, my name is Ibuki Maya, you can just call me Ibuki."

"Okay, dear Ms. Ibuki, it's nice to meet you. I hope we can work together happily in the future." Xiao Ikari saluted, and then wanted to shake hands with Ibuki Maya in the test room.

"!!! Uh, hello...hello. Uh, no need to be so polite." Maya Ibuki blushed and stretched out her hand, seeming a little uncomfortable: "You...you have been abroad for a long time. Actually, the word "dear" is not commonly used in Japanese..."

"Oh, I see." Xiao Ikari nodded and smiled, "Ms. Ritsuko told me the same thing. Well then, Miss Ibuki, please come in."

As he spoke, Xiao Ikari showed his left wrist.

Maya Ibuki still wanted to remain reserved, but then she saw the scars on Ikari's body from last night.

hiss!

Japanese people will find this very familiar. Isn't this a suicidal act of cutting one's wrists?

"Ikari... Ikari Shinji-kun..."

"дорогой (dear), you can just call me Shinji. This is my Russian habit, you don't have to be equal to me." Little Ikari showed a sunny smile like a big boy.

For a moment, Maya Ibuki was stunned. A cheerful, handsome boy like that could fetch millions in a single night! If he debuted, she'd have to buy him a few promotional photos for a few months. A vulgar, impure thought welled up in her mind. But… "Ikari… ahem. Okay, Shin… Shinji-kun… you (anata)… you (ki mi), um… um… if you have anything bothering you, you must tell us. Piloting an EVA is very demanding mentally."

"? I don't have anything to worry about. I think I'm a good pilot of EVA. I have a very good mental state."

"Then, then these scars..."

"Oh... this. When you're on a sniper mission and can't sleep for days and nights, just take a knife when you can't hold on any longer. It's very effective." Xiao Ikari suddenly realized and said, "It's okay, smoke it."

"..." The handsome boy was so calm that the pretty young lady instantly became Spartan.

Could you please stop talking so nonchalantly?

"Okay, alright..." After a series of tests, the two chatted intermittently. Everything needed to be sped up; a blood alcohol concentration report could be produced in just three to five minutes. Within minutes, Maya Ibuki finally found herself amused by the handsome boy, and her fear and heartache eased a bit.

"Shinji-kun, do you want a haircut?" Maya Ibuki noticed that Ikari's hair was getting a little long. "Even though Shinji-kun is very handsome, and even growing his hair long would make him look very beautiful, right? - But when piloting an EVA, long hair can sometimes be a hindrance. Of course, too short isn't good either..."

Hairpin-type sensors are difficult to wear, so you have to use helmet-type or belt-type ones.

"It's okay." I was just trying to break Old Ikari's defense. "I usually just shave myself a couple of times with a tactical saber. In the past, my comrades and I would cut each other's hair with knives."

"?!?! I thought it was some deliberate cool hairstyle. This, this is just cut by a saber?" So cool?! Then what's the point of my haircut costing over 10,000 yen?! Am I being taken advantage of?

"It's okay... Oh, it seems the test is done."

"Well, let's take the report back... Oh, and put on that white coat. Your uniform looks great, but... ahem. Scientific research."

"Yes, it's scientific research work." Xiao Ikari nodded with a smile, and followed Ibuki Maya back with the report.

After returning to the testing room.

You said it was a coincidence or not.

Old Ikari is here!

Yesterday, we were rushing back from the battlefield to the base, our faces and hair unwashed. We rolled around in the mud, our hands calloused. Coming back from the battlefield, we were covered in dust and our hair was matted, so we weren't particularly impressive. And Ikari was wearing a rather lopsided hat?

Today, Xiao Ding washed his hair and took off his hat. He put on the white coat that Ibuki Maya had just lent him.

Old Ikari and Fuyutsuki came together to look at Little Ikari's test report, having assumed that the test had already begun. Although he disliked his son, he still had to personally observe the important EVA pilot test, at least for the first time.

Then the four lenses of Lao Ikari and Fuyutsuki’s glasses (Fuyutsuki now took out a pair of glasses and put them on himself) felt like they were all broken!

"Yu...yui (Wei)!?!?" An inaudible low sound came from Old Ikari's throat.

Dongyue on the side was so direct that everyone was stunned.

"Commander, Deputy Commander, hello!" Xiao Ding came and saluted in a businesslike manner, but did not intend to shake hands at all.

Finally, Ikari's voice brought the two back to their senses.

I'm in a hurry!

What kind of life is this!

Ten thousand horses of destiny are flying in my mind!

Ayanami is cut from the same mold as Ikari Yui.

But Xiao Ikari doesn't need to put on any makeup, he can cosplay Ikari Yui by just putting on a white coat.

In an instant, Old Ikari's defenses were completely broken.

His blood pressure skyrocketed, and his mind was foggy. Akagi called out to him several times before he regained his composure.

"Oh... okay." Old Ikari looked at Little Ikari for a long time, and finally turned his eyes away reluctantly. Fortunately, he was wearing sunglasses, otherwise: "I won't watch today's experiment."

"Eh? Commander..." Ritsuko wanted to say something.

"Well, I'm not feeling well." The iron-clad father collapsed. Old Ikari waved his hand, truly feeling a bit tired as he said, "You continue to host. That's your job... Oh. Oh, right! To better pilot the EVA, have the third most suitable candidate cut his hair short! Also, he's a Soviet soldier, so he can wear a military uniform. White coats are for scientific researchers, and he's not allowed to wear them! Got it?"

Why are you so mad? It's just a change of clothes and longer hair. Are you sick? Or...

Ritsuko looked at Ikari with shock - they looked alike, so alike!

Looking at it this way, it's almost exactly the same as his mother!

But you're his father! Why are you so shocked? — Then Akagi Ritsuko suddenly thought of a terrifying possibility. Instantly, her eyes were filled with fear for a second.

98 EVA - Freud DLC is now available

"There are so many troubles. Does he think I'm his son? He's my father? Why does he give me orders like this? - I'm just one of his mercenaries. You pay the money and I do the work. The price is fair and I won't cheat anyone. That's all -" Little Ikari kept complaining as he watched Old Ikari leave.

The ordinary researchers nearby were silent, but each one was trying to stifle laughter. Everyone knew Old Ikari's notorious reputation—there were some things he couldn't keep secret.

Ten years ago, Old Ikari started out as a small-time researcher like the others here, working for Yui Ikari, presumably through nepotism. But over the past decade, through a combination of scheming and flattery, he's risen from a small-time clerk to a powerful figure. Are his tactics rare? Therefore, few dared to mess with Old Ikari, especially since he was known for his petty, vindictive nature. Many who had spoken against him were subsequently exiled.

"...Although you may not like it, you are indeed the Commander's biological son. There is no doubt about that." Akagi Ritsuko softly retorted, "Alright, let's conduct the experiment."

"Tsk, they don't look alike at all. Who knows who my mother's heart was with back then?" Ikari stabbed again. He wasn't sure if anyone in the intelligence department would dare relay what he said now to Ikari. Ikari shrugged, indicating that he didn't care. "Okay, Miss Midori, let's get started—and here's my test report."

"Oh." Ritsuko calmed down. After all, she was a rational woman - she almost laughed out loud just now.

The mother and daughter may not be able to defeat Ikari Yui, but judging from the side - her son is really a worry: "Huh?"

Akagi was confused when he saw the test report in his hand.

"What's wrong, doctor?" Xiao Ding suddenly made a joke and said with a smile: "Can I still be saved?"

"You... don't need saving. You're really... healthy enough. When I tested you yesterday, I found that you seemed to be too healthy. But I didn't expect... if what you said is true, then if you drank so much yesterday, there would be no alcohol concentration in your blood today?"

Ritsuko Akagi looked at Ikari as if she was seeing some rare animal, and her expression gradually became dissected.

"Let me make this clear." Ikari took a step back, his hair standing on end, but he couldn't lose the battle. "If you want to conduct other scientific research on me, the price won't be $3 million a month."

“……?!” Several of the other researchers present suddenly turned around.

I've studied my whole life, but I'm not as good as this soldier? Three million dollars a month.

Mercenaries are much more expensive than regular soldiers, so why do people still sometimes prefer them? First... recruiting them right away is simply too slow. Second, while they may seem expensive, some types are actually quite affordable. Their high price tag is justified by their sufficient combat effectiveness. Furthermore, compared to large armies that require training and maintenance during peacetime, and then continued after war, recruiting mercenaries only when needed is definitely more cost-effective. Mercenaries are like real money; once they're used, they're gone.

"...Oh?" Ritsuko seemed to have heard of Ikari's salary for the first time, and she immediately felt envious. However, considering the nature of Ikari's job, she didn't envy him too much.

There is no need to envy the dead.

Of course, if Ikari fails completely, then all of humanity will be finished, so there won’t be much difference.

"Anyway, we can proceed with today's experiment. Okay, now let's go change into our combat uniforms... What a waste of time! I think you should give your health some thought."

Not long after, Xiao Ikari officially changed into his combat uniform.

This is much better. There is still a difference between the body shape of a young boy and that of a young woman. If Old Ikari had come ten minutes later, maybe he wouldn't have been so upset.

"Shinji-kun's physical fitness is really good." This time, it was Maya Ibuki who accompanied Ikari to the locker room. She held the combat suit she had prepared long ago and said something Katsuragi had said the night before, "I didn't expect it to be so powerful—ah, right. This combat suit is biochemical and chemical resistant. It can resist a certain level of mental pollution mentally, and it can block certain invasions and bacterial and viral infections biologically."

Is it useless?—Little Ikari thought, if this thing could really prevent all kinds of pollution, why would he have been so miserable last week?—Oh, it does have a use.

After Maya Ibuki handed the combat uniform to Ikari, she immediately turned her back very consciously.

She was born in the 90s and is 24 years old this year. She is mentally normal, so if you know about 24vs14, if you don’t have a legitimate reason or a background, you will be locked up for a long time.

"It looks pretty sturdy." Ikari began to undress. After accepting the combat suit handed to him by Ibuki Maya, he nodded and said, "The texture is good, but it doesn't look bulletproof or anything else. Or has capitalism really become so advanced? I can't see any bulletproofness, but what about cushioning? If it doesn't kill me, I'll be killed by shock..."

"Well... you don't need to worry about these problems when driving an EVA. It's really sturdy." You only need to worry about whether you will be trampled to death. You don't need to worry about bullets shot by humans - at least not until the apostles are finished.

"Hmm." Xiao Ding nodded, and then sighed: "Since it's so strong, yet so useless - is it used to protect my body?"

"Huh?" You're so smart?

"I don't know why capitalism loves tights so much. Even our Soviet astronauts wouldn't dress like this," Ikari said as he expertly put on a tights outfit. Glancing around, he frowned. "Who designed this combat uniform? Ah, never mind. Whoever designed it, it must have been approved by the highest commander in the region, right? This aesthetic... never mind."

That's true, but also not true. Ultimately, the approval of a military uniform still comes down to the highest leadership. Some, like the head of state, will directly participate in the design process, while others, like the US military, will have a cripple provide guidance.

But considering that Ikari-chan's mother was wearing a similar outfit when she changed her makeup, it really can't be blamed on Ikari-san - but it doesn't matter, let's criticize him first!

"..." Ibuki Maya didn't dare to respond. There was no need for a mortal like her to get involved in the battle between the gods. You guys are all nepotistic and hate each other. At most, I'm your senior's mistress.

Xiao Ikari changed into his combat uniform and was led directly into the insertion port.

"?! What the hell is this?" Xiao Ikari pretended to be surprised. He was indeed a little surprised that the soul from this plane came in for the first time, but he had already gotten used to the souls from the previous plane.

As for Shinji Ikari, he will return to his mother's womb sooner or later - look, mom, I'm coming in!

Xiao Ding touched this and looked at that. Then he stroked the joystick in front of him: "Where's the mechanical console? Where are the instruments? Even if it's a training plane, you have to give me a reliable one, right? How do you fly this thing?"

Xiao Ding was like a rookie pilot flying a J-10 for the first time. There was nothing there, no instruments, no control panel. There were only a few display screens, so how could I fly?

"Hehe—this is state-of-the-art technology, Shinji-kun." Akagi Ritsuko's tone was as if she was asking, "Please open the microphone for discussion," with a hint of pretense. "It's completely different from ordinary AS operation. Those are relics of a bygone era. This is groundbreaking, cutting-edge technology."

"?What's this?"

"Your spirit will be directly connected to it, and you can operate it with your mind."

"?! Uploading and downloading consciousness?"

"Oh? The Soviets know a lot."

"?! Will that cause damage to consciousness? I don't really understand." Xiao Ding showed a nervous expression, and his tone was quite apologetic. "After all, I'm not a frontline scientific researcher, sorry. I'm simply working backwards based on the concepts of science fiction. When I'm driving the AS, the operating system may be hacked, so I basically cut off remote communication. Mechanical operation is best, of course I can't give up a lot of electronic circuits - but this so-called most advanced technology, could it also be susceptible to mental intrusions and bugs?"

"..."

"Ms. Ritsuko? Ms. Ritsuko? - Can you please stop being silent? - Is there some kind of mental antivirus software? Isn't this the most advanced technology?"

"...The latest and greatest technology. However, since it's so new, it naturally comes at a price." Akagi Ritsuko said as she started the program: "First test begins, connecting the main plug system."

"Yes, connecting to the main plug system - access completed."

"Inject LCL."

"Yes, start injecting LCL, zero percent—"

The scientific research system begins.

"Eh? Ms. Ritsuko? What's that orange liquid around here? There's too much! Hey! The engine oil is leaking! Let me out..."

"Don't worry, this is breathable liquid. Don't be afraid, take a deep breath. Next, I'll show you the operating manual. It's better to learn while reading it, right?" As Ritsuko Akagi said this, a vengeful smile flashed across the corner of her mouth.

Although Shinji Ikari's action just now was "unintentional", it stabbed the heart of her, the best scientific researcher.