Ikari Shinji's Harem Comedy Daily Life

"By the way, Ritsuko, what on earth are we doing here?—It's so boring. Even making a helicopter takes so long." Katsuragi obviously knew why they were here, but he just complained a little: "By the way—besides the military, are there any politicians involved in this plan?"

"The military? Ah, the military isn't even involved. They have no right to participate in the product launch they tendered for, hahahaha... Politicians' words are even more... hahahaha..."

Ritsuko Akagi looked at the small notebook in her hand and sneered in disdain.

"Ah, no wonder you're so casual, bringing just the two of us along. Normally, you should at least bring Maya along, so it'll be easier to have a fight with a few more people..."

"No, if I didn't want to bring a military officer with me" to rescue me at the most critical moment: "I wouldn't even want to bring you with me - but this time 'Xiao Zhen' is here too, and I feel much safer - I'm leaving it all to you, Shinji-kun."

"Just call me 'Xiao Zhen', Sister Ritsuko!" Xiao Ikari immediately took advantage of the situation and climbed up the ladder. This definitely changed from a name of affection to a nickname of endearment! Xiao Ikari immediately said with a smile: "Don't worry, Sister Ritsuko - I'm in the position. I'm not dead, no one can touch you!"

"...This is how I'm treated normally." Katsuragi was a little jealous and nudged Ritsuko with his elbow.

"Hahaha, don't worry, don't worry." Xiao Ding patted his chest and assured, "Until all the men are dead, women are not allowed to get hurt at all."

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Xiao Ikari was led to a dining table in the banquet hall.

The huge banquet hall reminded Xiao Ding of many things. He subconsciously looked around for a place to hide, but was immediately led to a table in the middle, with no room to hide.

The enormous dining table, at least six or seven meters in diameter, was only set in the center, its drinks placed. The pristine white tablecloth was bare, with the words "NERV Reception Table" written on it. There were three chairs, one of which had been added. When they first arrived, Ikari noticed that they were the last group to arrive. The other tables were occupied by at least a dozen or twenty people, including those serving drinks. The atmosphere was cheerful, clearly a show of force.

But after seeing Ikari, everyone's eyes seemed to be a little straight - I don't know why this material came out. Some people even asked directly, "Who is this kid?" "Is it cosplay?"

NERV's confidentiality measures are actually pretty good - except that there are double agents inside.

When Ryoji Kaji was selling out Ikari's information, he was also working tirelessly! Then don't blame me for exporting your ex-girlfriend, my current wife! You don't know how to cherish it, but I have an endless treasure here.

"How annoying... these guys. Ritsuko brought me here just to avoid being embarrassed to death - does that mean we all die together?" Katsuragi crossed his legs, looking unhappy.

There was not a single dish on the table.

"Hehe~ Best friends are meant to be betrayed - I've taken a lot of bullets for you and this guy, now it's time for you to return the favor." Ritsuko Akagi said indifferently.

"Ahh, I made the wrong friends... Hmm? Shin? What are you doing?"

"Kacha—" Xiao Ikari pulled out a Soviet-made 1812 cigarette from his pocket, which the Soviet Embassy had specially brought for him. He lit it and looked at Katsuragi beside him: "Ah, do you want one, Misato-san?"

"...No, I'm not that fed up yet, but I might be in the future, we'll see." Katsuragi Misato only smokes when she's extremely upset, and right now, it's just work pressure. It can't even be called work pressure, at best, it's social death.

"Sister Ritsuko, you have one yourself, right? I won't give you a cigarette. I secretly asked the Soviet ambassador for this brand... Well, let's go!" Xiao Ikari grabbed the tablecloth on the table and pulled it towards him little by little.

"?!?!"

Have you no regard for social etiquette?

He pulled the wine, which was placed in the center and completely out of his reach, in front of him by pulling the tablecloth.

"Kacha!" There were no cups, and no one asked for them. Ikari opened a bottle of sake with the name "Dassai" written on it, drawing the surprised glances of the other bureaucrats and men in their forties who had glanced over at the noise.

“Tun tun tun tun tun--!” Xiao Ikari finished a large bottle of sake, about 700 milliliters, in one breath in front of everyone.

"Hey! Shin-chan, are you trying to kill yourself? Hey!" Katsuragi kept gently pulling Ikari's hand.

"Shinji... Shin-chan! That's enough!"

There's a scene in "War and Peace" where the Russians bet on drinking: They stand on a window several stories high, with their feet mostly outside the sill, using the soles of their feet to push hard. They chug a bottle of rum in one gulp, never letting the bottle drop from their mouths, and never touching the window. Once they're done, they're done. When they're drunk, they fall down.

"Bang!" Ikari finished a bottle of Dassai in one gulp, smacked his lips, and stared at the bottle. The surroundings were completely silent. He adjusted his military cap and said to Ritsuko beside him with a smile, "This thing is really small. Too small. It's not strong, the alcohol content is low—it's also incredibly small, everything is small, hahahaha. Sister Ritsuko, isn't this a case of things following their owner?"

"...Thanks a lot, Xiao Zhen. But I'm not so weak as to ask the child to help me get back at my feet - don't worry."

"I'm not a child."

"...Yes." Ritsuko glanced at Katsuragi beside her, smiled teasingly, and said, "But you don't have to be so restrained. Ah, although the people here are very rude, the drinks are free."

"Got it, Sister Ritsuko." Blowing into the bottle.

"Hey...Mina-san!" Finally, the host appeared.

I'd wanted to give NERV a break for a bit, but it looked like they'd be overshadowed if they didn't show up. On the main stage, a large banner read something like "Wishing the JA Experiment Success." I forgot the full text below. A bureaucrat dressed like a North Korean official, wearing a suit, tie, and large leather shoes, with a middle part, walked to the front of the stage and said, "Thank you all for attending our product launch event at the Japan Heavy Chemical Industry Association."

"Hua La La—" the audience applauded, as if to say, "Finally, it's here!" Everyone had a long lifeline, but no one wanted to wait in embarrassment.

"Well, thank you all for coming. I am Tanaka, the introducer of this product. Please be sure to go to the control room later to watch the public trial run. This construction..." About ten minutes of opening remarks and introduction.

Ikari finished another bottle and a few cigarettes. Misato, standing by, kept urging him to drink less, like a wife, with a simple implication.

You're drinking too much and you're messing with me again! Didn't you get enough yesterday?! Aren't you dating Ayanami? (jealous), if you can, get someone your age to share the energy with me (broken jar, broken jar).

"Okay, that's it!" Finally finished, the middle-aged man, in the midst of a Japanese-style celebration, looked so smug, so proud, so proud of his family, that one might have thought he'd fathered a child despite being infertile. It's understandable, but do you have the same ability as me? "If you have any questions, please ask them now."

"Hayi!" Finally, the wait came, Akagi Ritsuko raised her hand with a brave and experienced look.

"Oh~~ Oh, I'm so tired, oh, I'm so tired—come, please give the microphone to the renowned Dr. Ritsuko Akagi." With a gesture of invitation, spokesperson Tanaka said with a look of "you're here!" "It is truly an honor for us to have you here!"

Don't use those useless "Can I ask a question?"

"Of course." Like Cao Mengde, the other party laughed heartily. "Don't just praise me blindly, but if I can truly point out your serious mistakes, we are always happy to hear criticism—please!"

"According to what you just said." After fifteen minutes of nagging, all the information had actually been brought to him by double agent Kaji Ryoji. "The internal combustion engine is built-in, right?"

"Indeed, this is the main characteristic of this model. Compared to other small and medium-sized robots, it has distinct features, greater horsepower, and a longer endurance, capable of ensuring continuous combat for 150 days."

"But for a land-based weapon designed for melee combat, isn't it excessive from a safety perspective to place the reactor inside?"

"Hahaha, it's much better than a battery-powered toy that only runs for five minutes, right?"

"Stop arguing." Katsuragi also started drinking and muttered, "Stop acting like a child."

"The remote control system you just mentioned has hidden dangers no matter how you look at it!" Ritsuko Akagi began to dig a hole.

"Rather than increasing the burden on drivers, causing mental pollution, and making teenagers wail in pain, I think this is more humane."

"?" Xiao Ding's ears perked up. He hadn't been to last week's show and had no idea this existed—how did you know about mental pollution? A new product?

“There’s also the issue of human control…”

"At least it's much safer than robots that can easily get out of control. Don't think we don't know about NERV—" As he spoke, the other party picked up a document with "Top Secret" written on it.

Yes, it was given by Mr. Kaji Ryoji again.

The large screen at the back also played a video of Ikari struggling in pain inside Unit-01, clutching his throat until it bled. After emerging, he was unharmed, but covered in blood.

"This kind of junk that easily gets out of control is totally incomprehensible, just like a hysterical woman." This caused laughter in the room. It was obvious that colleagues in the technology industry were dissing each other, and the home team certainly did not give Ritsuko Akagi any face.

"That's why we need pilots and technology—"

"You, do you really think that using science and human willpower can suppress that monster? Do you really think so? Hahahaha..."

"of course."

"Oh my, then you're really boring. Human will is so ambiguous that it can be said to be useless. In comparison, the United Nations' continuous funding of NERV is incredible. Your incompetence almost caused 20,000 people in a certain country to starve to death. NERV, who believes in this, regards human life as worthless. To be honest, I really feel sorry for that poor child. That's great, NERV - your AT stance is also confusing. We know everything, we just don't say it - don't worry, we will replace the incompetent you. Spirit? Will? Or hysterical woman? Haha..."

Akagi Ritsuko was so angry that she squeezed the microphone, her eyebrows trembling. Katsuragi Misato was speechless because she couldn't win the argument.

"bump!"

Xiao Ikari slammed the bottle of wine in his hand on the table, then reached out to Akagi Ritsuko.

"Sister Ritsuko, it seems you don't plan to speak anymore. Can I say a few words?"

"Ah? Ha Yi, Dou Zou..." Unconsciously, Ritsuko Akagi used a respectful term when looking at Shinji Ikari like this.

"Thank you, Sister Ritsuko—" Shinji Ikari straightened his military cap, looked at the person opposite him with contempt, and began to chant again—in Russian-style Japanese, with a thick rolled tongue accent: "The most precious thing to a person is life. This life belongs to everyone only once. A person's life should be spent like this: when he looks back on the past, he will not regret wasting his years, nor should he be ashamed of being mediocre. When he dies, he can say: I have dedicated all my life and energy to the greatest and most magnificent cause in this world: fighting for the liberation of all mankind!"

Ko Ikari's words were eye-opening; some people in capitalist Japan had never heard such words in their lives.

"That's what one of my heroes, Ostrovsky, said." Ikari Shinji exhaled a long breath, pointed at his nose, and cursed his soul. "As for insects, they don't believe in will. As for the desert, they don't believe in spirit—and I tell you, the most powerful thing in the world is human will! We can cut the Dnieper River; the greatest thing is the human heart. We can eliminate capitalism! Ha, maybe. Maybe this country that can't even protect its own capital doesn't know what 'self-sacrifice' and 'internationalism' mean? Haha, sorry, I almost forgot you're not even a sovereign state."

Ritsuko Akagi was stunned. I asked you to open fire, but I didn’t ask you to attack indiscriminately, okay?

"Keep talking, talk him to death!" Misato Katsuragi was quite happy.

"Oh, this is... Mr. Ikari Shinji, right? The pilot of Unit-01, a mere 14-year-old. Little boy, I don't know what kind of snobbery has brainwashed you. But you should be in school, enjoying a good life. Not fighting and killing, right..."

Same old thing.

"Did you see this?" Ikari Shinji reached out to the first medal on his left chest, feeling as if he was holding his life in his hands: "I am a 'Hero of the Soviet Union' and a 'Guardian of the Republic'! I don't like you talking to me in this tone! - The child you are talking about boarded Unit-01 of his own accord a few months ago, because I know this is part of the struggle to protect and liberate humanity! - As for what you said, I don't deny the progress of science. I praise science and all scientists. But I tell you - she, Ritsuko Akagi Doctor, when I was battling aliens, she was right behind me. Unlike some who have gone off to who knows where, she, the mastermind behind the development of EVA, lived and died with me. She, Colonel Misato Katsuragi, was right beside me, sharing my rest and my days. She was my most excellent commanding officer—I'm telling you, old man, keep your mouth shut. What do you mean by a 'hysterical' woman? If you dare say anything bad about Ritsuko and Misato again, I'll either break down or beat you to death. You deserve it, Sokablit! Mutterfuck, Yu..."

Oh, a little too much? You were speaking so righteously just now, but now you're suddenly being unreasonable? Ah... what a happy ending.

"Sorry, I'm drunk. We'll take our leave now. We'll take a look at your startup experiment later - you, the fourth mother of the series! Misato, come and help!"

"Ah? Ah... OK!" My man... boy? So damn handsome!

Sometimes people feel that "their life has not been lived in vain" - some people will never have this feeling in their entire lives, while some people will have it naturally.

Some women know when they feel this way, and some women don't know when they feel this way.

Some women don't want to admit it when they feel this way.

130 Here I tear the jade lock apart. Hey! My stepmother fucked me. Today I know I am who I am!

"How loud the military songs are, and the military flags are flying! From the Baltic Sea to the Pacific Ocean! This is our great Soviet Union, its glory shines thousands of miles high, illuminating the earth! Comrades, set out bravely to move forward, defending the truth and fighting bravely! Let the banner of Lenin fly high and build a new world of communism! Ah~~~Ah~~~!"

"...What is he singing?" Katsuragi looked at the Soviet colonel who was happily drinking a bottle of wine in the locker room, and secretly pulled Akagi Ritsuko next to him.

"I don't know. The style is Soviet, but it sounds like Chinese—how would I know? I don't listen to many Japanese songs. Ah, actually, most of the pop songs nowadays, even if they're in Japanese, I can't understand what they're singing without the lyrics. There are so many rubbish artists with inarticulate speech... not to mention I have no idea what they're singing about."

Ritsuko Akagi looked at Shinji Ikari who was humming a song and drinking by himself, and said nothing.

"Aren't you going to stop it?"

"Why stop him?——Xiao Zhen did a good job." Akagi Ritsuko was very calm: "Besides, he is drunk and won't cause trouble for me."

"!!!" Oh, that's right. "Xiao Zhen, stop drinking! That's enough!" Katsuragi Misato snatched the wine glass from Ikari Shinji's hand and shouted at him righteously: "Drinking is not good!"

If you hadn't said it from the mouth of a drunkard woman like you, I would almost believe it - Ritsuko Akagi on the side teased in her heart.

"Hmm..." Ikari Shinji looked at the locker beside him, which had been dented by Misato Katsuragi's high heels, and sneered. The drunken man said, "Then I'll go vent a little too—"

"Don't act like a child," Ritsuko Akagi said, holding a lighter she'd borrowed from Shinji Ikari, her expression eerie and terrifying. It almost gave Ikari a PTSD attack, but he instantly sobered up. She used the lighter to burn the entire JA visitor guide. "He wants to be praised by showing off. This man has no guts—he's no match for our Shinji. Humph, he's just trash."

Ritsuko Akagi didn't seem angry, but she was very ruthless in her attack.

"But, Sister Ritsuko," Xiao Ikari straightened his military uniform, put down the bottle of wine and said, "I think things are not that simple."

"Oh? Xiaozhen, what's the matter?"

"There's a traitor among us! NERV has been infiltrated!" Shinji Ikari, who was extremely close to the female spy from the Sengoku clan, said righteously with a stern face, "I must have a serious talk with the intelligence department when I get back! Who leaked the military secrets?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Misato Katsuragi was also very unhappy: "They even know the AT's position, what else don't they know!"

There was much more they didn't know—and while Ritsuko Akagi knew this was just the tip of the iceberg, it was still a leak: "It was indeed a top secret."

"Leave it to me! I also want to return to my old job after training!——" A smile that a sinister young man should have suddenly appeared on Shinji Ikari's face: "I will let the traitor know how to write the word death! Don't forget where I came from!"

Ah, the Investigation Department?

"Let's leave this to the Intelligence Division." Akagi Ritsuko glanced at Ikari Shinji, wondering if this guy could actually find out anything. Ah, she was overthinking it. "Mind your own business and don't interfere—do you know what you're trying to do, Shin?"

"Uh...driving an EVA?"

"That's half right - drive the EVA and have a good rest, live well! Don't always think about charging into battle when there is nothing to do." Ritsuko Akagi has already decided that this godson has chosen one for himself!

Forget about winning the EVA, even if we can't, we need to protect it at all costs... Alas, the commander is so clueless, now he's drugging her to death. Ikari's physical condition is good, so she can hold on. To achieve the ideal EVA operation effect, they're using any means necessary... How about reducing the dosage a bit? Or speeding up the development of the puppet project? With the puppet project, Xiaozhen won't have to be on the front lines all the time, right?

"Uh... yes, Sister Ritsuko..."

"Hmph, hmph...it's almost time. Is Xiaozhen still awake? If not, take a nap here."

"I'm fine. Now you let me drive the EVA and I can do it easily." Ikari Shinji threw the bottle and said, "Fuck, go, ignore!" - Backflip and walk! "Look, Sister Ritsuko - By the way, have you seen the Cossack kick dance?"

"Uh... I've seen it... Hey, don't..."

"It's very simple—I'm perfectly clear-headed. This little bit of alcohol is nothing. One or two bottles is enough to rinse your mouth. Three or four bottles don't count. Five or six bottles is enough to help me walk with my hands on the wall. Seven or eight bottles is enough to keep me awake. It's all normal..."

"...A little drunkard, a big drunkard! They're really not from the same family." Looking at the young soldier who was using dance language to show that he was not drunk in front of her, Akagi Ritsuko said helplessly: "Then come with me. Remember not to leave my side, understand?"

"Of course. I'm the military attaché for these two ladies. I won't leave my dear Ritsuko and Misato for even a moment... Uh... Sorry, I have to go to the restroom."

"...Tsk."

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After both the alcohol and the message were sent, I felt refreshed instantly.

There are some things that even a time traveler's butterfly effect can't change. For example, if there's an earthquake on a certain day and at a certain time, plagiarizing a few books won't change that. Or if a meteorite fell 65 million years ago, even if you could summon every male and female Tyrannosaurus Rex in the world, it wouldn't change that.

This is a matter of macroeconomics. Unless you ascend to the level of altering the universe, macroeconomics cannot be altered. It's like Ikari knowing the exact date of the Angel's arrival—that was all NERV's own, self-directed, and calculated action. Whether it matures quickly or slowly, and whether it's superior or inferior, is entirely up to the director's own opinion.

However, some things can change at any time, even down to what someone said.

When JA goes berserk, will he be hit by AOE?