Longmen Memoirs

"But I... Alina, I..."

"You can't answer him, right?" Alina said warmly: "Actually, you always knew that if you were willing to leave, he would take you away. You always knew that he stayed here only because of you."

"But I can't leave, Alina, it's not fair, but I still...am I too greedy."

Tallulah lowered her gaze and looked at the hand she had just let go of.

This is not fair, whether it is to Alina, to the infected person who has been accompanying her all the way here, or to Chen Mo, whether she leaves or stays, it is unfair.

"I won't oppose you this time, Tallulah, but you are too greedy."

Alina leaned against Tallulah and gently arranged the quilt covering her body.

"Greedy, you are not even willing to face Chen's inner thoughts. Greedy, you want to use this way of escape to maintain your current relationship. Tallulah, if two people know what the other is thinking, but are unwilling to tell them, Each other, even if they know it well, what's the use? Will they feel tired because of it? Will they separate one day due to misunderstanding?"

"What do you mean? Is it Chen..."

"I said, Chen, he is the same as you." Alina said: "If this were not the case, why would he come all the way here just for a childhood friend? Maybe you don't understand each other well enough now. After all, you We have been separated for too long, but what about the future, will it continue like this forever? For us infected people, how long can we wait without any response?"

"Don't you think Chen Mo looks tired? Although I don't know what he has experienced in the past, Tallulah, he looks more and more like Mr. Patriot to me, but he obviously looks as old as us. , still looks very young.”

[Colombia, where I stayed until I grew up, then joined Black Steel International as a mercenary, and then by chance, I got involved in the Sakaz war. Later, after the war ended, I returned to Longmen, and later, Came to Ursus...]

Tallulah didn't think much about it at that time, but then she suddenly remembered that when he said these words, his tone was so understated and brief. It was obviously his own life, but he didn't want to stay any longer.

[Maybe I am different from the me in your impression... Maybe I have walked the road and made mistakes, and I can't tell whether they are right or wrong. 】

Perhaps everything had already been foreshadowed on the night when Chen Mo came to the snowfield and met Tallulah for the first time. They sat leaning on their shoulders in front of the bonfire. The light of the bonfire was so bright that their shadows overlapped in the swaying bonfire. Being together is like the candlelight on that rainy night when the power went out when I was a child.

But what happened then.

That's one promise after another that's more than a decade late.

It was not long after that that we parted.

Tallulah slowly tightened her palms.

Chapter 33 Living towards death ([-]): The father has eyes but is blind after all

Snow is the most common sight in the tundra.

The vision of the running person gradually blurs, and if the legs are stuck in the snow, each step will become more difficult and heavier than the previous one.

Frost Star's pace became faster and faster, so that the snow monsters behind her gradually distanced themselves from her.

Maybe she didn't notice this.

All she could see was the road in front of her and the tall figure at the end of the road.

"Sister, wait for us..."

The snow monsters shouted behind them, and the shouting snow monster was held down by someone's shoulders. Peloteva shook her head.

"Stop shouting."

They looked at each other and understood why Frost Star had become so eager. Frost Star could no longer be seen in their sight, and the snow monsters were following her footsteps.

The guerrillas are ahead.

Frost Star's memory gradually emerged in his mind along with the wind and snow.

The sunshine is very warm, not as warm as the tundra in the cold north of Ursus, but if it weren't for the tundra, where would the white snow outside the window come from.

The little girl in the room looked at the tall figure in front of her, with visible curiosity and doubt on Carters' immature face.

"We are not related by blood, right? It's quite strange that I keep calling you daddy."

Wendigo's expression was gloomy, perhaps because the title "Dad" awakened his long-standing memories.

"Do you look a little bad?"

"Why stay alone in the house instead of playing with other kids?"

Wendigo didn't answer her question, but asked like this.

"Are they afraid of you because of me?"

"No, it's not because...because my brothers and sisters are afraid of me." The young Carters raised his mouth and retorted loudly, turning his head to the side as if the secret in his heart was revealed.

The wendigo didn't respond.

After a while, Carters turned his head carefully to measure Wendigo's reaction. He sat opposite and looked at him quietly.

Custer plucked up the courage to whisper:

"Hey, do you have any idea how to prevent them from hiding away from me because of you?" She said, then raised her chin slightly and added: "If so, I can call you daddy!"

"Are you blackmailing me?"

Wendigo asked funny. Although his face was still calm, his eyes were much gentler. Perhaps because of his long military career, he had forgotten how to communicate with ordinary children, so that the words he spoke seemed to be... Interrogate enemy troops.

"Ah, blackmail? What does that word mean? You haven't taught me yet."

Carters' attention shifted quickly.

"Your brother learns everything very quickly. He doesn't learn things step by step like he does now. If it were him, he would have understood this without any instruction when he was about the same age as you."

"Hey, you said that my brother learned everything very quickly, unlike now he learns things step by step... Then where is my brother now?"

Custer moved closer to the sitting Wendigo and put his hands on his thick arms that were resting on the armrest.

The arm was so big that it looked like a thick tree pole in front of the little girl's small palm.

Wendigo didn't answer, but leaned down and gently asked Carters to hug him.

"Oh, oh?! Why are you hugging me suddenly! You will get frostbite!"

"...Are you crying? It seems like water fell on my shoulder."

"No."

"No?" But if not, the warm touch on the shoulder comes from this. Even the tall Wendigo, which the empire attaches great importance to. It is said that three heavily armored Wendigos can attack the city and capture the ground. Will shed tears.

Little Carters didn't feel the slightest fear because of this monster. She opened her hands and gently hugged the Wendigo's neck. Even though no one wanted to play with her because of her father, even though she wanted to play with her because of this monster. Becoming lonely.

But since her relatives left, she has always been lonely.

Because Wendigo rescued her from hell that day, and the dazzling sunlight fell on her dark and blood-stained ferocious armor. Even the sunlight was dim, but he leaned down and picked her up from the ground. So that day, the two Lonely souls have found each other's destination.His embrace was warm and peaceful, something Carters always remembered.

"Everyone says that Dad has no blood and no tears, does that mean that Dad won't cry?" She whispered in Wendigo's arms, and the sunlight outside the window fell on the father and daughter, who had no blood relationship.

"But dad is obviously going to cry...I was just talking nonsense, nonsense! Is dad crying because it hurts too much from the cold?"

She was like a child who had made a mistake, a little confused, a little guilty, and a little uneasy.

"Dad! Dad! I won't think about what I just said again. Moreover, when I grow up, when I grow up... when I grow up, I will make you a medicine that will prevent you from freezing!"

The small palms tried to wipe away the tears from the corners of Wendigo's eyes.

"This way you won't cry when you are hurt, right? I will grow up quickly!"

"my family."

"Family? Ah, you mean, my brothers and sisters, you and me, are all family, including my brother who is not here?"

"Well... in this case, daddy will be everyone's daddy!"

"I will definitely learn to fight, avenge grandma, and kill those who bully us."

"Don't say that, Yelena."

"Why! Dad obviously kills those bad guys every day!"

"I don't want you to be like me."

"...What do you mean you don't want me to be a person like dad? Isn't dad a good person?"

Wendigo let go of the girl in his arms and shook his head seriously.

"No, Yelena, I'm a bad person too."

"Why is Dad also a bad person?! I don't understand. Please explain clearly, why Dad is also a bad person." Carters grabbed his arm: "How can Dad be a bad person?"

The Wendigo was silent.

Carters, who received no response, let go.

"I hate daddy. Hate it!"

"If you don't learn from me, Yelena, maybe you can live in the city one day."

"Can we go to the city without following my father's example?" Carters was attracted by this sentence again, and she asked: "Dad...you think, can we really go to the city? What finger candies you were talking about before... Is it really delicious?”

"If you don't learn from me, you should be able to."

"If you don't have to be someone like dad to eat...well...!"

"I don't understand."

"Dad... you think, no matter what, I can be a good guy or a bad guy." Carters sat next to Wendigo and leaned on his arm: "As long as I am always with Dad and my brothers and sisters. ...It’s good to be together all the time.”

Which one is more important, blood or experience, maintains the relationship between people?

Perhaps to a certain extent, it is ironic that people who are not related by blood often know how precious things like family are more than those who have it, and blood relationship should not be the only sustenance to maintain family ties.

I don’t know when the wind and snow slowed down.

The memory finally stopped, because the blurry and tall black figure in the sight was walking towards here like a heavy mountain. The flag on the halberd was fluttering in the wind and snow. The Wendigo was no longer as intimidating as it was when he was young. Can look up.

Everyone has changed in time. It makes children grow up, young people grow old, and the old people may eventually turn into a handful of loess.

But memory will never stop, even if it will eventually be blurred and forgotten, it will never stop.

Froststar stopped.

She called out the familiar name as usual, and the tall mountains in her sight stopped. His gaze peered through the wind and snow, passing through everything in sight, and finally stopped at the white rabbit at the end of his sight.

------

The sunshine in the snowfield is still so dazzling but not gentle, as if it reminds people of the scene when they came here many years ago.

The camp in sight changed slightly, and there were more people than usual, most of whom were soldiers who had just returned.

Chen Mo spent three days in the air, which forced Shuangxing to tell him about the changes in the past few days, as well as the comments of the soldiers who came back from outside.

Alina said that Shuangxing might have become a little dependent on her, but Chen Mo didn't think so. He thought that this should be because Shuangxing understood more things. She was slowly changing from a warrior to a qualified leader. Her vision is wider, and it also accommodates many things that she usually ignores. These things are strange to her, but they are not enough to make her shrink. Carters, who realizes her shortcomings, is looking to make up for it, and Chen Mo is just leaving her at the moment. One of the recent ones.

She has become much more modest, and although it is not easy to notice, there is no doubt that she is changing, perhaps even she is not aware of it.

Chen Mo just listened quietly, and when Shuangxing asked for his opinion, he would respond.

The sun is still so dazzling, but the campground has a new look. All this comes from the efforts of everyone, rather than one person becoming the decisive factor.

Chen Mo never thought so.

He coughed lightly, and the coughing sound attracted Froststar's attention.

"Physical discomfort?"

"Fortunately."

"I wouldn't be able to bear it if you stayed awake for three days in a row, but you, on the other hand, have done nothing in the past three days and just stayed in that room. Are you worried about Tallulah?"

"I know even if you don't tell me." She turned her head, and after a while her voice came again: "...Thank you for your hard work, Chen."

Chen Mo was a little surprised and shook his head.

"Feel sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"make you worry."

"Hmm... the same statement as Tallulah." Shuangxing turned around in surprise: "Don't you often say that the camp should not be unable to operate normally just because one person is missing? What you say now makes me feel that you are... Look down on me, I know you don’t mean that, but you can trust us a little bit, Tallulah does a better job than you in this regard.”

"If you want to compare me with her, I will definitely not be able to compare with her." Chen Mo said half-jokingly.

"That's now."

"is it?"

Chen Mo said with a smile and put his hands behind his back. His palms were scarlet mixed with black blood.