Longmen Memoirs

"It's better not to mention this. What did you talk about? Why did it take so long?"

"It's nothing. I just talked about what happened in the camp these days. I made some suggestions and my thoughts about Tallulah. Mr. Patriot and I chatted some."

"Going south?"

"It's what the guerrillas experienced after encountering Tallulah, including going south."

"Then I guess he still didn't agree, stubborn old man." Shuangxing glanced past Chen Mo at the door behind him, where the Patriot was.

"Yes, stubborn old man." Chen Mo agreed: "But I think there is nothing wrong with the old man's stubbornness. He is just afraid that you will be disappointed in the end, Shuangxing. He is afraid of losing you but can't do anything for you."

Frost Star was silent, and she didn't answer for a while.

Carters was stunned and looked at Chen Mo.

"He... really said that?"

"I know he would think so."

"Don't tell me that you know him very well, Chen, he...may not be as easy to understand as you think."

"Or maybe it's because you didn't really try to listen to his ideas."

"..."

"Do you know why children always have conflicts with their parents when they are teenagers? Shuangxing, because they all feel that they understand each other very well. Children feel that they have grown up, but adults don't see it that way. They feel that their ideas are right. But in the eyes of adults, they will only feel that they are too naive." Chen Mo said: "You don't understand anything, they will always say that, people tend to overly ignore what they have, and they will only wake up when they lose it. .”

"Are you talking about me?"

"I'm talking about myself." Chen Mo said.

But even though he said this, Frost Star still understood what he meant.

"I understand what you are saying, there is no need to mention it on yourself intentionally." Frost Star said.

"Are you also afraid of losing? Chen." Shuangxing raised his head and looked at Chen Mo and asked. "I stayed here because I was afraid of losing Tallulah. I can see that if Tallulah is willing to leave with you, you will definitely not choose to stay for the sake of the infected."

"But she didn't do it."

"So you'll be disappointed?"

"The premise of disappointment is that I had expected it." Chen Mo said: "If I had been prepared for this from the beginning, it would not be called disappointment. At most, it would be a bit regretful."

"I asked you before. You seem to be able to handle everything yourself. You make me feel like you never need anyone to help you."

"Wrong, Shuangxing, no one can live on their own without the help of others, and I am no exception. I also have many friends. Before I met you, until now, I have made mistakes, and I have also relied on myself. When I couldn't handle it, my friends came to help me, even though they were all unreliable people."

"Can we also be considered friends?" Shuangxing suddenly asked with a smile.

"Of course not."

"Ok?"

"You forgot, we are not only friends, you are also my boss."

"I thought it would be Tallulah."

"At least I'm still under your control now."

"I can't control you." Shuangxing shook his head and leaned his gloved left hand on his waist: "I don't remember who asked us to obey his command before?"

Chen Mo was stunned for a moment, looking at the deliberately sarcastic Shuangxing in front of him, his gray eyes looking in his direction.

"...this time and that time."

Chapter 35 Chen Ta two-quarters ([-])

Young people are like a piece of white paper, the color of which is dyed by others later. Some people are very lucky, so the color is gorgeous and beautiful, while some people can only be accompanied by gray and darkness, and occasionally a little more. Other colors were too small, so small that even he couldn't see them clearly.

From youth to old age.

Often the more experienced people are, the more they have lost. People who have lost more are more afraid of losing, and those who are more afraid of losing are more likely to lose.

Life is like a long and bitter journey. At the beginning, we are ambitious, but in the end we are just tired and tired, but there is no end to this road.

This road leaves regret, debt, stubbornness and torture.

No matter how big a person's life is and how many experiences he has, if he wants to die, he will never be able to survive.

In the end, Chen Mo did not stop Shuangxing from entering the house.

Although he felt in his heart that he should probably hold Frost Star, he failed to do so after all.

It was a very strange feeling. On that Wendigo, Chen Mo seemed to be able to understand the thoughts deep in his heart. Maybe it was because of the devil's curse, or maybe it was just because of some other reasons.

Paradoxical experiences, the same heavy and unspeakable past, might just be an illusion.

Chen Mo didn't know.

He took out a cigarette and lit it, and the familiar nicotine breath flooded into his lungs. When the smoke rose, the infected camp in front of him still looked familiar, covered with snow and the sky was gloomy and gloomy.

The patriot sat alone in the longhouse, leaning against the eaves of the window. The light coming in from the window cast his huge shadow on the ground, and he looked out the window at the gloomy and gloomy sky.

The eyes under the helmet gradually became cloudy.

"Honey...don't be sad."

"You don't know how to renew your string? Don't be like this, my dear..."

That beautiful face was pale and weak. She was holding Wendigo's hand tightly on the hospital bed. At that time, Wendigo was young and vigorous. At that time, they had just left Kazdaele and were entrusted with important tasks in Ursus.

At that time, the young Wendigo met his love in a strange country. He swore allegiance to the empire that had given him everything, and he swore never to betray again.

"Sigh, but you won't agree with my nagging. You are as stubborn as a rock. How have I ever really convinced you?"

Even after saying this, the woman showed a faint smile, her eyes were full of tenderness, and she still looked so beautiful.

Maybe she is not strong, she is so weak and pitiful that she cannot be with her

"You're still going to fight, right?"

He didn't answer, and the woman knew that he would always have only one answer. He would just answer without opening his mouth.

What a charming man, as dull as a stone, yet so deeply loved.

"Promise me, Bodrokasi, promise me not to die on the battlefield."

"I just hope you won't be tortured anymore. Think about it. After I leave, our family will still be here to accompany you. Look, little Geer..."

The woman's fingers gently caress【%=

"His sleeping face, what a cute face it is, her two little red horns that haven't grown hard yet..."

"This is life, the continuation of my life, my child, the continuation of the lives of all people on the earth."

Wendigo just looked at the scene in front of him quietly, looking at the two most important people in his life, and looking at the corners of the woman's eyes that were gradually wet with tears. These were the most precious things to him.

"I know you won't eat me, you hate the Wendigo tradition so much."

"But I wish I could flow in your life forever, but life... is inherently immortal."

Wendigo was silent, his resolute eyes darkened, even the most cruel war could not dampen his fighting spirit, but at this moment, Wendigo found that he was not as tough as he thought.

"You are haggard. Excessive sadness will destroy you. Our child will still need your care in the future. Wandering here will destroy you."

She is always so considerate, even though she looks so ordinary.

"I'm just a cold-blooded monster, Helen."

"...No, Bodrocaste, you are not a cold-blooded monster." She retorted, staring into Wendigo's eyes: "Your love for me is real, even if I am only good at hating others. Women also have the same affection for you.”

"You are surprised...please don't be surprised, I love you, just like you love me so generously and warmly."

She raised her hand and brushed the side of the Wendigo's face with warm fingers.

"Bodro Kasti, my beloved...your future family will be my family."

"That's how I love you."

Inside the house, Wendigo sighed softly.

Even the erosion of suffering and illness could not break his will, but at this moment, the tall figure looked so tired and old.

I don't deserve your love, Helen.

I failed to keep you, and I failed to keep the oath between us.

my family.

Love...I don't deserve it.

"Father, I beg you! No, don't stand on the side of the empire anymore!"

"Orders? Empire's orders are a joke!"

Wendigo had never seen this side of his gentle son. When did he become like this? He suddenly realized that it was the years of war that made him neglect his son's care, which led to Today's situation.

"No, I'm sorry, Father...I'm not mocking you, no, I wouldn't."

"But the empire's decree is a cruel scam set for all of us. My friend Ye Keduo was beaten to death on the bridge with a cane just because he was found to be an Originium patient."

"Don't you also like his poems very much? Don't you also read them loudly at night and cry with joy?"

He couldn't forget that scene. He couldn't forget the scene where he watched his friend being beaten to death in the crowd. He was bleeding, and he couldn't even howl. The blood stained the bridge deck red, but he was just a person who liked to write poetry. Poet, he never thought about resisting the empire, and he did something wrong.

Just because he was infected with Originium Disease, he deserved to die.

"He is dead! Father, he walked on a dark road of death and left us forever. He will never look back!"

"As a poet, except for literature, no one has the right to let him die! The empire's so-called infected person decree is just a villain who broke into our hearts!"

The young man looked at the silent Wendigo in front of him and roared, hoping to arouse the kindness in his heart.

"That kind of disappointment, look, the death of the infected person only makes the person who takes the life and the person who loses their life abandon their dignity!"

"As soldiers of the empire, are we accepting favors from the emperor for such an undignified thing? How ridiculous!"

"You were born in Kazdare, and the infected Sarkaz grew up with you...Father, you must also be able to understand the infected people in Ursus!"

He grabbed Wendigo's shoulders, but when he looked over, facing Wendigo's eyes, his movements suddenly stopped.

"...Why are you so indifferent? Is your heart made of iron? Or is it that, as a Sarkaz, you are not infected, so you don't even have any sympathy in your heart?"

"We Sakaz... who could be more susceptible to the Originium Disease than us Sakaz."

The young man let go of his hand dejectedly and took a few steps back.

He looked at the father in front of him and his eyes gradually became unfamiliar. Maybe he was like this from the beginning, but he misunderstood his nature and misjudged him.

"Perhaps, only when one of us is infected with Originium Disease, you will know how ridiculous this crime is. Maybe then, you can leave the bloody road you are walking on now and walk on the spacious road of mercy!"

"Father... that's all, that's all! You are a Bozokasti. The Origin Stone will not get entangled with a strong soldier like you, so I can only let him climb onto my body!"

"You will realize your mistake only when he is sitting on my body laughing at you!"

"Don't let yourself regret it, Father!"

Wendigo stopped talking. In silence, he was like a stone without blood and tears. Only breathing could prove that he was still a living flesh and blood, but apart from that, what else was left of him.

The world says that he is just and great, and the world puts various names on his head, thinking that he is a warrior who fights for Ursus, for the infected, and for blood and oppression.

Only the patriots themselves know why they do what they do.

Because of a mistake he made many years ago, because of the innocent Growazel, and because of his hard heart.

After all, he failed to take the right path.

He regretted it, really regretted it.

But there is no way to express these regrets. These regrets can only be borne by himself.

Everything he is doing now is just to repay the mistakes he made many years ago. He has accumulated a lot of trouble and cannot look back. He will not stop and cannot stop, because stopping means betrayal.

"dad……"

The sound sounded at this moment, and the sudden sound woke up the Wendigo who was trapped in memories.

The white Custer stood walking towards him. He stood in the light and shadow at the door. When the Patriot looked over, the familiar name made him lose his mind for a moment.

Yelena, his later daughter, might have liked the child if Helen had still been alive.

------

"So, what did Mr. Patriot talk to you about?"