I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

"Really? Why didn't you inherit this from your mother? I, your mother, really like to eat vegetarian food. Why do you..."

Uh-huh?

Oh, I haven’t paid attention to Qiansui for a long time. Su Shi subconsciously treats him as his own child.

Ahem…it doesn't matter. Actually, she didn't make a mistake. She was just trying to deceive Chitose with good intentions! That's it!

The sunset was no longer visible outside.

However, the lighthouse on the private island in the distance would emit a faint light, making it possible to leave the villa immediately and play on the nearby beach.

"Wait a moment, Mom. I need to call the nurse to ask about your grandma's condition."

Whether it's "Mom" or "Grandma," how can I say these words so calmly? Nagasaki Suyo, you seem to have changed a lot.

"Ok!"

Qian Sui still maintained her well-behaved disguise. She followed the rules and experiences she had summarized before and presented all the beautiful fantasies that others had about their "daughter".

Sitting alone on the sofa by the floor-to-ceiling window, carefully playing with the dark green doll in his hand, a long and continuous plan was interweaving in Qiansui's mind.

My lovely little daughter, let your daughter bring you more life experiences.

I swear you will be very happy and very happy.

……

"This is the sea at night."

Half an hour later, on the beach, Su Shi, dressed in a white dress, pointed to the vast sea in front of her.

There were no waves on the sea, which is why it looked like a black continent.

"It's so dark, so different from the daytime!"

Holding the hem of Su Shi's skirt to prevent Lu Feng from blowing it away, Qiansui pushed the bangs that blocked her vision to the side.

"Yeah, that's why I said the sea at night is so interesting."

She had lamented the same thing one day ten years ago. It seemed as if time had been stolen by someone, and Su Shi had already turned thirty in the blink of an eye.

"I used to come here with the girls from the university club."

"Now you're with me!"

Qiansui held Sushi in his arms, just like a baby teddy bear holding a big teddy bear.

"Yeah, it's really great to be able to revisit the old place with Xiao Sui. Puchi, why is there sand on your face? Do you want to go swimming? But if you do, you can only stand on the shore."

Is it a bit long-winded?

Su Shi was astonished. She felt that she had completely adapted to the role of a mother.

I can't help but want to care about every aspect of my child. Is this annoying? But I have to say it even if it's annoying. After all, I really can't feel at ease if I don't say it.

"Okay!" Holding the Space Marine toy in his hand, Qiansui tried to pull Su Shi's hand a few times, signaling him to go with him.

"Why, do you want me to play with you too? That won't work, I'm a little tired."

"Hey, why is this happening..."

"You're looking at me like that, but I didn't say I won't accompany you. Xiao Sui, go play by yourself for a while. I'll watch over you, okay?"

"it is good!"

A little girl dressed in pure white is chasing the waves in the sea while holding her toys. Her steps are light, like an elf forgotten in the world.

Chitose, wearing the same dress but in a smaller size, really looks like a big, soft figure.

The moonlight tonight is very bright, and the lighthouse in the distance emits a green fluorescence. There is tranquility and loneliness lingering above the black sea.

If only my mother were here.

Suddenly, Su Shi thought of her mother.

A scene that she had never dared to imagine before appeared in her mind: she was talking and laughing on the beach with her mother and daughter, watching the sunset and waiting for the sea to turn black.

Well, in that case, it should be...

"Wow! Mom!"

Sui's voice disturbed Su Shi's sweet dream. Her heart beat faster and she quickly responded to Qian Sui.

"What's wrong? Is there a problem?!"

"The toys...the toys are gone!"

Rushing to Chitose Nagasaki's side, Su Shi squatted down, put his hands on the little girl's shoulders and began to examine her body.

"I was so scared... I thought something was wrong. Your toy is missing? Then mommy will look for it with you, okay?"

"Hmm!" Qiansui made a sound of grievance, giving people the illusion that she was easy to bully and asked people to bully her more.

Nagasaki Motoyo turned on the flashlight on her mobile phone and shone it towards the surrounding shallows.

She could clearly see the sand and stones and the small fish and shrimps in the water, but she couldn't see the dark green and strangely shaped toy.

In the end, she naturally chose to give up.

"I can't find it. It must have been swept away by the current. Mommy will buy you an identical one tomorrow, okay?"

I thought Chitose would listen to her obediently like before, but Chitose was shaking his head in a bad mood.

"No, I just want that..."

"Hmm? After all, there's really no way to find it."

Is it because you can’t bear to part with your toys?

The evening breeze finally stopped briefly at this moment, and Su Shi racked his brains to think of what to say to comfort Qiansui.

Once again, I sigh that the world of children is so simple. The loss or gain of toys can affect her emotions.

Isn’t this innocence of childhood what adults should protect?

"Well...but it was given to me by my mother. It's different...it's the first gift my mother gave to Xiao Sui in so many years..."

Qiansui lowered her head with a sad look on her face, as if she didn't dare to look directly into Su Shi's eyes. After she finished speaking, she continued to search in the sea where visibility was low.

Looking at Qiansui groping in the sand, Su Shi felt the strange throbbing in his heart again.

She remembered the teddy bear that was damaged by her mother after being washed. Su Shi, who was only a few years old at the time, said the same thing to her mother.

At that time, Ms. Nagasaki was very embarrassed and ashamed. She squatted down and stroked little Su Shi's head, saying that she would buy her an identical one.

I agreed with tears in my eyes, but what happened next?

Nagasaki Suyo raised her head and looked at Chitose who was doing useless work in the sea.

She couldn't recall any memory of what happened afterwards.

It seems that many things about my mother are also slipping away with the years.

Mother…

Ch146. Exploring the Secret of Ms. Nagasaki

Late at night, Su Shi couldn't sleep.

In the end, she succeeded in coaxing Xiao Qiansui back, but her mood became heavy again.

It takes a lifetime to smooth out the various things in childhood, but as time goes by, people will find that everything that happens in the rest of their lives is just a microcosm of their childhood.

After Qiansui was washed clean by Su Shi, she was carried to bed. The mother and daughter whispered to each other until Qiansui fell asleep.

But Su Shi just couldn't sleep.

Xiao Sui in his arms was soft and comfortable, and was the best sleeping pillow, but Su Shi couldn't fall asleep anyway.

Many memories of his mother only began to emerge little by little with Chitose's arrival after his mother fell into a coma and was hospitalized.

What kind of person is my mother?

Su Shi remembered that her mother was a very strong and successful person. She was so invincible when facing various challenges and dangerous business crises.

To herself, she would be lively and cheerful, even more like a little girl than herself.

She's amazing, right?

She... sometimes makes Su Shi feel that she actually has a lot of things hidden.

What kind of pressure and sadness is hidden behind every smile when you return home?

"call…"

Su Shi stood up and walked downstairs wearing her childish and cute bunny-ear slippers.

There were no lights on, the curtains were open, and the moon was the only light source in the room.

【go home.】

Su Shi wants to go home.

It wasn't the house she bought... It was the home that was so cold in his memory, the place his mother had bought and shown off to him loudly, hoping to get praise...

My mother has always been so cute...

Picking up the car keys from the table, Su Shi couldn't stay there any longer.

The child has fallen asleep, and tonight is a big failure for those who don't stay up late.

She drove away from the beach, a chaotic response in her mind.

Going home...

[Even if you’re just standing at the door in a daze, you have to go back and take a look…]

What did my mother say? What did she do afterwards? Why?

[Why was the teddy bear sewn up and ended up in Xiaosui's hands?]

People often look for answers with questions. Waiting alone on the deserted street in the Four Box District for the red light to end, Su Shi rolled down the window to let in some fresh air.

"The air no longer smells of seawater."

But there was still the smell of Xiaosui in the car, a unique, lingering and gentle scent, the unique fragrance of wild lilies blooming in the valley before they wither.

It’s only two streets away from my former residence.

The shops and greenery along the street haven't changed much since the last time I passed by, but compared to decades ago, it's really a dramatic change.

Go downstairs, get into the elevator, and finally stand quickly at the door.

"..."

She didn't bring her key, so she had to stand at the door.

In fact, there is a fingerprint lock, but Su Shi just can't lift her hand to press her thumb on the corresponding position.

The hand seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, which was more than the weight that ordinary life could bear.

This may be because she felt that some of her past memories were blocked behind the door.

The place where she had spent countless nights alone was just inside the door, and the Nagasaki house where her mother would occasionally live later but which had probably not been visited for a long time was also here.

Just...

drop--

Lian Su Shi didn't know how she raised her hand and pressed it, but when she regained consciousness, she found herself standing in the middle of the living room.

All that can be seen are familiar furniture.

Su Shi originally thought that she might never come back in her life, but in such a sleepless night, she came here again.

What should I do next? Should I complain to my mother, myself, and everyone else like a loser in the empty room before running back to the beach to sleep with my daughter?

"Ugh…"

She passed by her room but made no attempt to go in.

Nagasaki Suyo chose to go upstairs.

Her feet carried her stiff torso outside her mother's bedroom.

Should I open the door? I have a feeling I'll find something inside.