I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

“It’s not fair…”

How unfair.

Why is it so difficult for Xiao Sui to recover from her illness? She clearly...

No, she was not in good health at the beginning, and I didn't take good care of her.

[So, the 20-year-old's condition shouldn't have been this serious. It was my carelessness and my lucky mentality that led to the current situation...]

I couldn't bear to open my eyes and look at Chitose in my arms.

They were all wearing the white dresses they wore when they last came to the beach to play in the water. The sun was about to set.

After all, it’s already late to take Xiaosui out of the hospital.

"Xiao Sui, mommy brought you to the beach. Are you very happy, Xiao Sui?"

No one responded, but the little guy in his arms seemed to move.

"Yeah, you mean you're very happy, right? Haha, Xiao Sui, look, the setting sun is stuck in the sea? Isn't everything around it turning pink?"

The only response to Su Shi was the cries of seagulls in the distance.

Seagulls are stupid birds that Chitose calls "ugly things."

So does Chitose really hate seagulls? It seems... there's no chance of getting the answer.

"Mother…"

"I'm here! Xiaosui! I've always been here. Are you feeling better? Does the sea breeze make you feel better?"

"Actually, I don't think it'll feel any better at all... But maybe, maybe..."

Su Shi didn't want to miss any hope. It would be better to say that she was so desperate now that even the shallow level of despair became infinite hope compared to the current situation.

It was already difficult for Xiaosui to walk on her own without leaving his arms, but he still took her to the beach.

This was terrible. A qualified mother should have refused her daughter's request, but she didn't want to go against her promise that "Mom will agree to anything."

She didn't want to be a loser who couldn't even fulfill her daughter's few wishes.

"happy."

"Huh? Mom asked if Xiaosui was feeling better, so why did Xiaosui say... happy?"

"Because Xiaosui can't get better, but Xiaosui is very happy."

Su Shi's heart sank and the flow of his blood slowed down.

「Don’t say such things… It’s too cruel for Mom…」

"Mom, I'm sorry..."

"What? Why are you saying sorry?"

"Xiao Sui is in such a state of distress that she can't hold on any longer. If Xiao Sui hadn't caused her so much trouble, I would have been able to handle my work better..."

Su Shi didn't know how to respond to the tone of grievance and regret. Then she heard Qiansui continue to speak in a broken voice:

"I'm sorry, Mom... I've been holding back for so long since I was brought home. Xiao Sui is really embarrassed... Can Mom forgive me, Xiao Sui?"

I never blamed Xiao Sui! Never!

Su Shi opened his mouth to speak but his throat was dry and he could hardly make a sound.

She felt so guilty and miserable...

At first, he ignored Xiao Sui, but later, relying on her gentleness, he gradually recovered and became a normal person... He had always regarded her as a spiritual sustenance, a tool... a tool that he loved...

Su Shi, you are too selfish.

You have never loved Qiansui unconditionally. You just treated him as a doll to express your feelings.

[Does a guy like me really deserve love? ]

[It still hurts. Why is it so painful?]

The sun is setting, the sun is setting slowly.

Su Shi watched the last light in front of her fade away, but she could only sit on the ground helplessly.

She could do nothing, she couldn't stop the sun from setting... The sun in her arms was also setting, and she still couldn't stop it.

"Mom, don't cry, why are you crying all the time?"

Now the situation is reversed, with Chitose whispering the whole time while Su Shi can't utter a complete sentence.

"No, we agreed on that! For a lifetime? Xiao Sui, please don't say that, okay? Please, please don't say that..."

"Xiao Sui will always be with Mom."

Only then did Su Shi dare to lower his head and look into Qiansui's eyes.

Those eyes were clearly filled with tears, but there was an indescribable emotion in them.

Is that...painful? Xiaosui must have wanted to cry, but it seemed like she was holding back her tears.

The blood-red color of his eyes was the most distinct color on Qiansui's body. His unhealthy fair skin and dry silver-white hair were all ignited by this breathtaking red.

"But Xiao Sui's life is so short..."

"Don't tell me! I told you not to tell me... I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry for my emotions sometimes, I, I..."

"Mom, it's okay."

Su Shi's hand was held.

It was clearly still Qian Sui's pair of little hands, but it gave Su Shi a very hanging feeling, as if it would fall in the next moment.

"Xiao Sui, Mommy will take you home. Let's...let's sing a lullaby together tonight, okay? I brought your teddy bear. Oh, I also brought your doll! I..."

Sushi noticed Chitose in her arms...shaking her head? Huh?!

"why?"

So desperate.

"Mom, I'm so tired. I want to go play in the sea for a while."

"Okay? Please..."

"Okay, okay, I'll help you..."

"No, Mom."

Chitose stood up unsteadily and hugged Nagasaki Suyo for the last time.

She pecked Su Shi lightly on the cheek and whispered something in her ear in a voice that only the two of them could hear:

"Mom, please give up on being old... Please, being old is really... so painful..."

Chitose Nagasaki turned and walked towards the sea. Her back became more and more blurry. Su Shi only remembered that she was smiling at the last moment.

The dark sky, the wandering sunset, the turbid sea.

The sea water has already reached Qiansui's calves.

Nagasaki Suyo saw that the girl was saying something to her.

What is she saying? She is saying:

"You don't have to feel guilty, Mom. None of this is your fault... Xiaosui is just a passing guest in your life. You don't have to take it so seriously."

"I love you the most, I wish you happiness! Live on..."

At the moment of darkness, Chitose fell vertically into the sea like a puppet with its strings cut. Her figure was as light as an angel from heaven.

In the end, everything returned to simplicity, with almost no wind.

Qian Sui's hair was lifted by the waves, and Su Shi could smell the scent of ginseng chicken soup and the cotton in the teddy bear.

The moonlight was not harsh, but Su Shi's heart was burned.

"age!"

Ch161.Don’t cry! I love you the most!

Qiansui passed away today, or maybe yesterday, Su Shi didn't know.

Shortly after Qiansui passed away, his mother, who heard the news, also passed away.

Well...that's how it is.

What's next?

After that, I stopped paying attention to the company.

But the company became more and more successful, so successful that it seemed that it could bring countless wealth to Nagasaki Suyo without her own efforts.

It seemed that with Qiansui's death, everything was back on track.

It seems that once Qiansui dies, everything will return to normal.

It seems that Qiansui is really just a passer-by in her life, but...

"You must be joking! How is it possible, how is it possible that he is really... dead?!"

Now I have everything except Qiansui, but what's the point?

But then, what's the point...

If I had known Chitose would get sick, I shouldn't have gone out that day... No! I should have just given up on the company during that time! I didn't want anything anymore...

What does it matter now that I have a company but Chitose is gone?

Nagasaki Suyo has always known that she cannot live the rest of her life with just a little bit of love.

But now she doesn't have even a little love left.

Those who loved her are gone.

She has nothing left now.

"No more, all gone... nothing."

In the living room on the first floor, Su Shi was slumped on the ground in an embarrassed manner.

The ground was filled with wine bottles. She hadn't dared to drink when Chitose was still around. Now that Chitose was gone, there was no one and no reason to stop Su Shi from drinking.

But she wasn't happy at all.

She might never smile again in her life.

"Actually, I'm not sad at all... not at all..."

Numb and without feeling.

Both the body and the brain are afraid that their soul does not want to continue to exist, so they activate a physiological protection mechanism.

Su Shi could no longer cry due to this physiological reaction. Coupled with the wonderful hypnosis of alcohol, Su Shi seemed to have truly forgotten the sadness...

【But can I really forget? 】

Nagasaki Suyo put the bottle to her lips and wanted to take the last sip but found that there was not a drop left.

Just like her life, there is nothing left, haha.

In fact, after Chitose left, Su Shi wanted to die several times, but as soon as she returned home and prepared all the props for suicide... she suddenly felt that Chitose was not dead.

Chitose might still be hiding in some corner of the house... blinking her cute big eyes and secretly observing her.

And every time his plan to kill himself failed, Su Shi would want to drink.

Just like today.

There was a rusty machete at his feet, which Su Shi had specially found for him, but he had no strength to hold it in his hand.

Well, that might be because she hasn't eaten for a long time.

She would feel nauseous and want to vomit as soon as she ate food.

Especially the ginseng chicken soup and vegetarian...

After closing his eyes for a while in the dim room, Su Shi leaned against the wall and walked towards the cloakroom.

Lately she's been sleeping here... in her closet.