There is something wrong with my infinite flow teammates!

When she was young, she was accompanied by her elder sister, the nanny, and various teachers. In addition, she encountered bullying, which caused her to close her heart. She began to put on a mask of disguise and treated people with a cold face. In fact, she was just protecting herself.

Bei Yuankong still remembers the smile on her face when he dug her out of the rubble just now. It was a smile of relief, but it also carried a bit of loneliness, a bit of hesitation, a bit of unwillingness and regret. It was her true expression that she had never shown to others. Maybe she told herself that she couldn't cry, and maybe in countless late nights, she gritted her teeth stubbornly and didn't even have anyone to talk to.

Happy people are healed by childhood throughout their lives, and unhappy people are healed by childhood throughout their lives.

"Kitahara-san, do you think I'm pitiful?"

Yukinoshita gave a bleak smile: "In fact, your feeling that I am pitiful is the biggest insult to me. If a person squats on the street, he is not actually pitiful, but you walk over and throw a few coins in front of him, and then you leave, he becomes pitiful."

"is it?"

Beiyuan Kong said softly: "I understand. I can't interfere in your life, nor can I instigate you to rebel against your own blood relatives. Our world is not a hot-blooded comic, so I'm sorry that I stopped you. You are a person with your own opinions. You should have thought carefully before doing anything under any circumstances, so I shouldn't stop you. After all, it is your own choice."

"But if it were me, I would definitely not make the same choice as you." Beiyuan changed his tone and continued, "I am much luckier than you because I was born in a fairly ordinary family. My father is very strict and looked very fierce when I was a child. When we grew up, we hardly had a word to say to each other, but I know that as long as I get into the slightest trouble, he will silently carry the heavy burden on my shoulders for me."

"My mother loves me very much. Although she was the one who always spanked me when I was a child, she definitely loves me. Although I often find her annoying when I grow up and she nags me from time to time... Compared to you, I am happy."

Kitahara Sora's tone began to sound a little sad. He seemed to be lost in memories. He looked up at the sky and murmured, "It's great, Yukinoshita-san, you still have a father and a mother."

Yukinoshita Yukino did not respond, and Kitahara Sora did not speak again. He just turned his head silently and returned the magazine to her: "I won't stop you anymore, and you don't have to feel guilty because I came all the way to save you. I don't care about these, so please continue."

Looking quietly at the magazine in her hand, Yukinoshita Yukino began to be in a daze for a long time. Then she silently put the magazine into the pistol, loaded it, turned on the safety, and put the pistol against her temple.

Kitahara Sora turned around, no longer looking at her, but looking at his back, as if he was seriously waiting for the sound of gunfire.

Yukinoshita Yukino closed her eyes. It was over. Everything was over...

But why can't the hand that pulls the trigger press down?

Is there any reason for me to live? Is there anything I want to accomplish? It seems like there is nothing, but why can't I pull the trigger? It's obviously a simple thing.

why?

"Why don't you shoot?" Beiyuan Kong turned his head, a little puzzled in his calm eyes: "It's a simple thing, right? Just move your fingers, it won't hurt, I understand you."

"You were born in a deformed family and never enjoyed any love. In the days that followed, your friends left you. They began to bully you, isolate you, hide your indoor shoes, scribble on your recorder, and carve insulting words on your desk."

"Your parents don't care about you, the wicked don't get punished, the innocent people are wronged but don't even have a place to cry, so you accept the facts, you accept everything around you, but now you are broken, you have lost your value. The worst case scenario is that when you return home, your parents don't even want to raise you anymore, because you are no longer worthy of being raised. You have lost everything you have, you are no longer valuable, so shoot, end it all, free yourself, for yourself, shoot..."

Kitahara Sora began to chatter incessantly, in a light-hearted and cheerful tone, with teasing and ridicule, and there was even a hint of sarcasm and ridicule in his eyes.

"Why didn't you shoot?"

"Just shoot, just pull the trigger lightly and it's over."

"You're a loser. You'll never catch up to your sister. Ever."

"You will never be able to gain your mother's approval. You are just like this, a humble, weak, coward who can't even muster the courage to commit suicide."

Yukinoshita Yukino's eyes lost their luster and gradually became lifeless. Her face was dull and panic-stricken. She began to tremble all over, began to quibble, began to refute, and began to mutter something inaudible, but Kitahara Sora still did not stop.

"Your legs are broken, and your last value is gone. Even if you are abandoned by your family, you will not be able to find love, because no one will like you because of your bad character."

"No honest person would be willing to support you for your whole life. Honest people's families are not wealthy, and they cannot afford to support a disabled person."

Stop talking, Yukinoshita Yukino opened her mouth and murmured, but no sound came out. She could only shake her head frantically and scream hysterically in her heart, "Stop talking, please stop talking, why do you say that, why are you so cruel?"

Please stop talking, Kitahara-san, please stop talking...

"Why are you shaking your head? Shoot? Do you want to cry? Then cry like a coward. Your mother and I agree on this. Cry."

"Why don't you shoot? The safety is on, the bullet is loaded...ah, I know, you don't dare to shoot"

"Well then." Kitahara Sora snatched the gun from Yukinoshita's hand and pointed it at her head, his eyes cold and piercing: "Let me help you."

"boom!"

Fierce gunshots were heard, and smoke was coming out of the muzzle of the EAA "Pavna Witness". Yukinoshita Yukino stared blankly at Kitahara Sora with a sharp gaze. The gunshots made her heart stop for a moment. The bullet scratched her cheek and gouged a bullet hole in the wall beside her ear.

His face was burning and blood flowed out along the scratches, flowing down his face like tears, gathering behind his chin and dripping onto his collar.

Yukinoshita Yukino stupidly reached out her hand and touched the wound, a slight stinging pain was transmitted to the nerves. He would really shoot. For a moment, she thought she was really dead. Why did I feel so scared? Why did I feel so scared? Why was I so afraid of death...

She slowly raised her head and looked at Beiyuan Kong in front of her. Her dull pupils focused again and she was stunned again. An incredible absurdity replaced the fear and she began to feel a little sad.

Because she saw the most unlikely and unexpected situation in her life.

She saw Kitahara Sora crying.

He still pointed the gun at himself with an expressionless face, but tears as clear as crystal flowed from his eyes, slid down his cheeks and dripped onto the ground.

"Have you experienced true death?"

He said, "You are just being coquettish, right? You didn't die after being underground for so many days, so you definitely don't want to die! You knew I would stop you after you came out, so you dared to shoot without hesitation."

"How was it? What was it like to be so close to death? Was it fun?"

Kitahara Sora pointed the gun at her forehead, his voice choking: "Do you know what it feels like to die? Do you know how I feel about death?"

"Do you know how it feels to know when you are going to die but can't do anything to resist? Do you know why the road to death is painted with green oil? Do you know how it feels to wait for a few seconds to die?"

"You don't know, you don't know anything, you can only act like a spoiled child, you are still a high school girl, you don't understand the true meaning of death."

Beiyuan Kong took a deep breath, as if he was holding back something. He said, "I'm afraid of death. When I first met you, I was ready to face death again. But when I actually climbed over the guardrail and stood on the rooftop, I was scared. I felt like a coward. I had no worries, but I didn't dare to die."

"I was scared because I've experienced that feeling. Death is not like sleeping. When you die, there's nothing left. Wandering in the abyss of death is more terrifying than thalassophobia. It's like being lost in an eternal whirlpool. You won't have consciousness or emotions. You'll just be lost there forever, feeling cold and desperate. I know because I've experienced it. I woke up again and traveled to the body of 'Kihara Sora'. I almost went crazy. It took me a full six months to figure out who I was."

"How lucky I am that I am alive again, but how unfortunate I am that I am the only one who survived."

"And you?" Kitahara Sora dropped the gun on the ground and pointed it at Yukinoshita Yukino's nose: "In fact, I have always admired you. I admire a little girl of seventeen or eighteen years old because you are worthy of my admiration. You are excellent, much better than me."

"You were isolated by your classmates, betrayed by your 'friends', ignored by your family, and raised like a valuable commodity. All the tragedies are hidden beneath your glamorous appearance."

"You live tenaciously in this world despite such great sorrow. You cover your gentle smile with a cold mask. You reject everything around you with the most ruthless and vicious words, closing your gentle heart. You seem to be indifferent to everything in the world. Even so, you still don't give up hope of life."

"You work hard and study hard. Even if it's a ridiculous delusion, you still long for your mother's recognition. You admire your sister and hope to keep up with her footsteps and become as good as her, but you don't know that you are already better than her. Why did all this happen to you? You said to yourself that it was not your fault, but the world's fault, so you founded the Service Club. You were a middle school student and kind-hearted person, and you wanted to change everything around you with your meager efforts..."

"You gritted your teeth and persisted for 17 years. The light in you has shone for 17 years, but now you are going to give up everything you have insisted on so easily! You have lived silently and hard since you were born, just to die in such a humble way?"

"Tell me, Yukinoshita Yukino, did you come into this world just to die meaninglessly at this moment?"

Kitahara Sora squatted down and slowly approached, his forehead touching the girl's forehead intimately. His voice was gentle, without harsh questions, without teasing and mocking. His voice was still flat, but it made Yukinoshita Yukino feel extremely gentle: "Yukinoshita, you know that everything you do is in vain, why do you still work so hard?"

"You are eager for change, but you are afraid of it. You want to resist but you dare not, so you can only work hard silently. You have many shortcomings, but you have more advantages. You think too much about things. Your parents will always be your parents, and you are a piece of flesh that fell from her body! Why don't you... talk to her?"

"You are full of tragedy, but even so... you are still you. Why should you feel inferior? You are the heroine, Yukinoshita Yukino."

“Never give up…hope, because there is still hope.”

Yukinoshita Yukino stared blankly at the face so close to her, and her eyes gradually regained their spirit. She opened her mouth and reached out to gently wipe away Kitahara Sora's tears, but she herself couldn't help but cry again.

"Really? So I'm the heroine." She smiled, a happy smile. She hadn't seen such a brilliant smile in many years. She didn't resist Beiyuan Kong's sudden intimate behavior, and even took the initiative to rub his forehead: "So, in your eyes, I have always been the heroine."

"You have always been the heroine. In my world, everyone knows you. You have a place in every fan fiction. There is even a joke that the protagonist changes but Yukino remains the same. They like you, your bad temper, your sharp tongue, your beautiful face, your well-hidden gentleness, your kindness, and your stubbornness. They shout that Yukino is the best. They say, I don't care, Yukino is the sky anyway! They are happy because of your joy, they are also happy to see you happy, and they are also sad when you are sad... They like you deeply, not because of your appearance, but because of your inner self, because they understand you, so you deserve to be liked."

"Is that so?" Yukinoshita Yukino chuckled again: "So I'm so popular? What expression should I make to respond?"

"I don't know. I'm not you. I'm not as popular as you."

Kitahara Sora shook his head and wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Yukinoshita, who said, "You scratched my face, it must be disfigured..."

"sorry."

"It's okay, it's not important. Even if it leaves a scar, it doesn't matter to me." Yukinoshita Yukino rubbed Kitahara Sora's forehead again and said softly, "It actually hurts, Kitahara-san... As compensation, can you please cook me a bucket of instant noodles?"

"I'm hungry."

I have something to say to you guys.

I have something to say to you all. I am a complete newbie and this is my first time writing a novel. Actually, I don’t know how to write it. I have been working hard on it and racking my brains to think of the plot.

I have updated more than 4000 words every day for a month. I have never asked for leave and never stopped updating. But I still thought that writing a novel was too simple, even though I had done a lot of ideological work for myself before.

I want to write a good story, a story with flesh and blood, because every time before going to bed at midnight I will be moved by the plot in my mind, and I want to record it. I think everyone will like the story that can move me.

But I think too simply. I won’t cater to readers or follow the mainstream. I just write things that make me happy. So, have you ever seen a novel with more than 20 words updated but only 250 collections?

Yes, that's me.

I have thought about giving up countless times, but every time I update, some friends will praise me and give me recognition. Even a word of praise can make me happy for a long time, and sometimes it’s just a sentence like “the book is good”.

The people who vote for me every day are all familiar faces, and sometimes I wonder if I am just writing for a few readers.

I dare not speak to the author group, because I am afraid that others will ask me what the name of my book is. I dare not tell them. Their new books have thousands of collections for 5 yuan, and mine is only 250 yuan. I think I am just 250 yuan.

I don’t know what’s driving me to write and update every day, because when I had 7 words, I asked in the group, and everyone said, 7 words only have about 50 collections, don’t you wait until the New Year?

I was confused at the time, I didn't understand anything. I had heard countless lecturers say that when writing a book, one should never start like "A Mortal's Journey to Immortality" because readers would not be patient. But I was stubborn and I followed his example anyway, perhaps without even realizing it.

I know that many readers click on the first chapter and leave directly. There are a lot of dialogues in the first three chapters, but I have to do it this way as a prelude, and now it cannot be modified. 90% of people don't even finish reading the first three chapters and leave. No matter how well I write afterwards, it will be of no use, because not everyone can calm down and read it patiently like you do. This is something for entertainment only, and there are too many such things.

Maybe I can’t even earn enough money to buy cigarettes every day after writing for a month. I’ve thought about giving up, but I’m unwilling to do so.

Because there are several readers who are following my book and asking me to update it every day. I am actually quite happy about their urging because it is a recognition of me. I still want to finish it, but then I start to waver.

I want to express the stories in my heart, and I want to describe each character with flesh and blood, but my ability is limited, or maybe my book has too small an audience.

My friend Feng Zhan Bing Hua recommends all his books to me every day. I am very touched when I see his seven recommendations every day. My friend Shen Wang Jing Jie gives me the most rewards at one time. I recommended "Kangan Sha Dian" to the group when I was about to give up, and he rewarded me before I read it. I don't care about Xue No Shi Tian, ​​but my friend keeps urging me to update the books every day.

Actually, I am very happy, because at least there are some friends who are willing to read my book. I have been confused and struggled countless times, and wanted to give up countless times, but I still thought, let's write it first, at least there are still people reading it. Lkm329 is the first reader of my book review. Except for the sentence "First blood wins", he has not spoken since then, including in private posts. Today he rewarded me with 5 blades at one time.

Let me know, ah, you are still here, my friend.

There are many more friends, so I won’t mention them all.

I felt helpless, happy, and extremely terrified.

I want to write a good story that can move me. I want to write a different Yukino, or the most real Yukino in my heart. No one has written like me, just like no one dares to set the protagonist as a death row inmate like me. So what is the real Yukino like? If she comes alive, or if we enter her world, she is not just a paper man. She has desires and emotions, just like she wants to find ways to survive in this absurd world.

Yukino needs to grow up, just like I used three chapters to lay the foundation for her fear and hesitation. I even felt that I was too harsh on the heroine. But growth comes at a price. The hero can't change her appearance just by talking. Only after going through the darkest hardships can she grow into a dazzling diamond.

So after being rescued, Yukino didn't immediately burst into tears of joy and was extremely moved by the male protagonist. She also had her own mental journey. The real Yukino was like this. She was a tragedy. The anime didn't describe her family and her experiences in much detail. In reality, if she was born in that kind of family, there would definitely be no good ending for her, so she saw things very clearly, and that's why she felt there was no hope.

I spent a long time on today's chapter, and it can be considered an explosion of the love line. I'm not very good at writing love lines, so I don't know if it's well written. This is the only way it can be, so please bear with it.

Thanks to '我顾雪乃是天' for the reward, thanks to 'Lkm329' for the blade and the salted fish thorn, and thanks to everyone who voted for me. I have been updating for so long and have never actively asked for rewards or votes, because I think that I write well and have your recognition, and you will not be stingy. I also think that I don't deserve it, because I am so lame.

Have you ever seen a book with more than 20 words but only a few hundred copies? Have you ever seen a book with more than words but still not on the shelf?

But thank you for your support anyway. I don’t have it today, but since you gave me so much reward today, I will update it by 9,000 words tomorrow.

In the second volume, the Saint Hui will probably join the game. There are also some other characters that you can suggest to me. I will consider them. However, I will not consider the character that you, 'Feng Zhan, Bing Hua', suggested, Yuno Agatsuma. Her personality is too unstable. If she appears in the team, the protagonist will most likely choose to kill her immediately. = =!

Chapter 1 Yin Yun ()

"I was born in a province in southern China. It has a nice name called 'Xiangnan'."

Yukinoshita Yukino wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and rested her cheek lightly on his broad back. The dull sound accompanied by his strong heartbeat made people feel extremely at ease. The broad back was so warm that it seemed to dispel the bone-chilling coldness in her heart, and even the cold wind became warm.

He gently recounted his past, carrying Yukinoshita Yukino on his back, step by step on the pure white ground, his steps extremely steady.

"My last name is Yin, which is not a very nice surname in Chinese. My name was chosen quite randomly. It was summer when I was born, and the sky was covered with dark clouds before the rainstorm, so my father simply named me Yin Yun..."

"——When I was a kid, my family wasn't rich, but we weren't poor either. I had everything that other kids had, so I had a very happy childhood. It was great back then. The things that bothered me the most every day were why I had so much homework, why my dad didn't give me an extra dollar of pocket money every day, and why I couldn't play marbles better than the shortest kid in the class. What I looked forward to most every day was going home after school to watch 'Light Messenger' and 'Ultraman' on the children's channel."

"We would argue over which Ultraman was stronger, and we would fight over the outcome of the Famicom battle. We would betray each other immediately after getting into trouble, and we would go home and wipe our tears after getting beaten, and then continue to play mischief together. This was my childhood, very happy and beautiful."

General Yin Yun stabbed out of the head of a zombie. After rubbing the blood on the snow, I continued: "Actually, I was very naughty when I was a kid. I was very naughty and cheerful. I often beat me because of being playful. My mother was not as simple as a Japanese family, or it was almost a few symbolic. When you say a few words, you will destroy a child, um ... our generation or me is not the same, scolding is useless, I ... "

"Are you saying you have no shame?"

"Put it another way, Yukinoshita-san." Yin Yun's mouth twitched, and he said helplessly: "Chinese is very profound. It should be said to be heartless. If you say shameless, I might get angry."

"Don't you mean the same thing?"

"Don't argue."

"..."

This girl is good in every way except that she likes to argue with people. Although sometimes it is unintentional, she has developed this specialty into a passive skill. When you talk to her, she will hit you from time to time, and sometimes it really makes your stomach hurt.

"Okay, Yukinoshita-san, let's continue..."

"Yukino."

"?"

"Call me Xueno." Xueno pressed tightly against Yin Yun's back. Although her expression could not be seen, from the scorching temperature and intense heartbeat through the thick clothes, one could feel that she was blushing very hard: "I...we are trusting each other...partners...we are friends, so you can call me by my name..."

Yin Yun was stunned, and felt a warm feeling in his heart. This feeling was good, a feeling of being relied on, and also the feeling that the other person completely opened his heart to you, let down his guard and trusted you unconditionally. Because he knew the other person's character very well, he knew how difficult it was for her to take the initiative to say this.

After responding softly, Yin Yun found that the girl behind him was holding his neck more tightly. His legs felt stiff and his muscles tensed instantly before returning to softness a few seconds later. Although she was the one who brought it up, she was still very shy as a reserved girl after hearing it. Her whole body became stiff at that moment, but after relaxing she uttered a low moan in response. If it weren't for her enhanced hearing and the close distance, this tiny "hmm" would have been almost inaudible.

"And then?" Yukino's voice got a little louder, as if she was deliberately trying to hide her embarrassment, and then it turned back to her usual cold tone: "Kitahara-san, what's the next story?"