Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

"Who knows?" Without answering my question directly, Ben Chugui picked up the lunch box on the bedside table.

"What to do?"

"Is your brain really burned out? Isn't it obvious?" Ben Chugui looked at me helplessly and picked up a dish with chopsticks.

"Come on, open your mouth."

"No matter what, there's no need to do this." I turned my head away and avoided the food that Ben Chugui handed to me.

"There's no other way, right? I don't want to do this, but you're very hungry now, right? And if I have to wait until you have the strength later, the food will be cold. I don't want to go to the microwave in the cafeteria again." Ben Chugui spoke in a casual manner, and her chopsticks reached towards my mouth even faster.

This is indeed the case, but I don’t want to accept this reality at all!

"Why are you still being stubborn?"

"We are teacher and student after all. It is not nice to do this." I said to Ben Chugui in a firm tone.

"Is that so? It's really just like that? It shouldn't be like this..." Ben Chugui murmured something that I couldn't understand at all, like the difficult sentences written by a pretentious writer.

There was a layer of gloom on her face, and the feeling of disappointment was exuded undisguisedly. Ben Chugui weakly retracted her hand and placed the chopsticks on the lunch box.

"If it was that female student, Mr. Hikigaya, would you refuse?"

That female student? I think she was referring to Liumei. If Liumei fed me like this, would I refuse? I couldn't refuse. If it was Liumei, I would naturally accept it. Even if I refused, Liumei would still continue to feed me.

My brain quickly came to this conclusion, even though I tried desperately to deny it. Liumei is a student from another school, which is certainly not a reason for me to accept her and reject Ben Chugui. Strictly speaking, Liumei and Ben Chugui are both my students. So why can I accept Liumei doing such a thing, but cannot accept what Ben Chugui did as a matter of course?

"You won't refuse, right?" Faced with Ben Chugui's question, I didn't know how to answer. In the end, I just nodded silently.

"Right, Mr. Hikigaya, you can't deny it yourself." Motohatsu Kei said with emotion, and soon showed a sad expression again.

"There is no special reason. It's just because that female student knew Mr. Hikigaya earlier than me. In Mr. Hikigaya's heart, she is both your student and your friend. It's no big deal. She just knew Mr. Hikigaya earlier than me."

Ben Chugui spoke word by word, as if he was explaining a trivial fact.

She was not wrong, I did not regard Liumei as my student in the general sense. Liumei and I knew each other a long time ago, when I was just a high school student, not a teacher like now.

So when I treated her as a friend, I talked to her more like a friend, not just a simple interaction between teacher and student like I did with Ben Chugui.

What Ben Chugui said was not wrong, because they met early, many things were already destined.

You fall in love with a girl, but she already has a boyfriend. Even if you are better than that boy, even if you succeed in stealing that girl's heart and making her dump her boyfriend, there must be a lot of differences between how she treats you and how she treats her previous boyfriend.

Because if you meet her late, you are destined not to be able to experience some things with her, and she is destined not to be able to give you some things. You are asking her to treat everyone she meets at every time the same, which is simply asking too much.

Time and space are always the most difficult distances to cross in this world.

"Teacher Hikigaya, aren't you going to deny it?" She looked at me, biting her lips tightly with her teeth.

What she expected was that I would say I was wrong. Then, she would make up a random excuse for her, such as: Of course it’s not like that, it’s just because I treat students in my school differently from other schools; I didn’t do that to protect your reputation, but if you study in the United States, since you are a student from another school, there won’t be any big problems. I can come up with countless excuses like that. I used to do that, always using lies to cover up the truth.

"Well, I'm not prepared to deny it."

I looked at Ben Chugui calmly, and uttered my words gently like the autumn wind. Why do I have to lie? Wrong is wrong, right is right, and peace and daily life that cannot be maintained without lies are not what I want. Even if I thought it was necessary before, I will not lie easily now, and I will not rely on lies to maintain my connection with others.

"Actually, you don't have to force yourself. If it's destroyed just like this, it means it's nothing more than that... isn't it?"

It was a night when the snow had just covered the ground and made a slight sound when stepped on. Amid the neon lights, Yukinoshita spoke to me in a very calm and easy-going tone.

That's all? Even when I graduated from high school, I didn't really understand the meaning of that sentence. At that time, I secretly helped Isshiki without telling Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, and I worked hard to create a peaceful atmosphere in the Service Club.

It’s just that, but it feels like more than that.

Even though I didn't understand anything at that time, I am no longer prepared to use lies to maintain my interpersonal relationships. What I expect does not need to be maintained by things like lies.

The last lie I told was when I graduated from college. After experiencing such a heart-wrenching, suffocating pain, I no longer planned to lie.

So, now I look at Ben Chugui and calmly tell her what I really mean. Whether I admit it or not, Ben Chugui is completely different from Liu Mei in my heart. They are different individuals, and what they get is naturally different.

"Is that so? To be able to make the awkward Hikigaya-sensei say such things..."

Ben Chugui's voice has lost its former vitality and dominance, just like maple leaves falling in autumn.

Chapter 131 There’s Always a Knock on the Door of the Health Room

"Tsurumi Rumi is such an amazing person! The relationship between her and you, Mr. Hikigaya, is definitely more than just old acquaintances. There must be many stories between you two that I don't know..." Motohatsu Kei's voice was like rippling in an empty valley, and it reached my ears ethereally, making it impossible for me to guess what she was thinking at the moment.

"As for me, I don't really have any demands. Even if it was like that before, it was only because I was too greedy. Mr. Hikigaya did nothing wrong. It was just my willfulness that was wrong. The relationship between Mr. Hikigaya and I is much better than that of other students, but I am not satisfied. Seeing Mr. Hikigaya sending that girl home every day. How should I put it? I always feel like my beloved pet dog has been taken away by someone else..."

Sorry, you talk so fast that I can't follow your thoughts at all.

"Just think of it as an immature student causing trouble for the teacher. However, isn't it a student's duty to cause trouble for the teacher? Mr. Hikigaya will definitely forgive my willfulness, right?"

What do you mean by a student's job is to cause trouble to the teacher? A student's job is to study hard and save the teacher's worries! With such a dangerous idea, how did you become the president of the student union?

However, it's great that she was able to come out of it on her own! Just like Ben Chugui said, this was just a moment of awkwardness. It is still very difficult for people who are in a awkward situation to come out of it on their own without the help of others. The best way is to figure it out on your own.

Ben Chugui actually understood this truth, but she herself was unwilling to believe it. She was still expecting some special people and things to appear.

It's really great that I didn't lie. Benchu ​​Rose is still Benchu ​​Rose, she is still the Benchu ​​Rose who pursues efficiency and is domineering.

"It won't happen again."

"Got it, Mr. Hikigami." She spoke to me in a deliberately drawn-out voice.

As soon as this guy returned to normal, he started to act cute again in a malicious way.

"It's too obvious that you're being cute!"

"But isn't that what Mr. Hikigaya likes to watch?"

"Where did you come to such a conclusion?"

"Mr. Hikigaya is a pervert, isn't this supposed to be normal?" Motohatsu Kei said to me, tilting her head.

"I see. It seems that I need to correct your misconception that I am a pervert first!"

Ben Chugui and I were having the same conversation as before. Although this conversation was not between a teacher and a student, it was indeed a conversation between Ben Chugui and me.

"No way, Mr. Hikigaya, you're a pervert. You're lying on the floor in this cold weather."

"That's not what you said when we met this morning. You actually complimented me on my good physique then."

"That, that is..." Motoki Gui was unexpectedly flustered: "That's because I was upset, so I deliberately said that to Mr. Hikigaya. Of course, that doesn't count."

"So the words of the student union president can be so easily judged as unreliable?" I looked at Motochu Gui with a sly smile.

"Of course not!" Ben Chugui denied loudly: "As the student council president, I have considerable authority. Unless I really did something wrong, I will not take back my words!"

"So firm? You just casually took back what you said this morning for a strange reason."

"Mr. Hikigaya, when did you come up with the concept of ghost-beast?"

I was just about ready to laugh at Ben Chugui's joke, but was choked back by her words the next second. It turned out that I must not let my guard down, this is really a tough opponent.

But I did have some intention of teasing her...

"This is revenge for what happened this morning."

"How did you become a teacher if you're so stingy? You're such a stingy, perverted, playboy teacher."

"How did you become the president of the student union when you use so many meaningless and strange modifiers when talking to the teacher?" I quickly counterattacked Ben Chugui.

The two of us glared at each other, our expressions like two people arm wrestling and constantly demonstrating against their opponents.

Ben Chugui suddenly burst out laughing, and I also relaxed my expression and smiled.

"What is this? Like an idiot!"

"By the way, please don't forget that you just did the same thing."

"I am different from Mr. Hikigaya. I am a beautiful girl, so whatever I do is right."

This strange self-confidence is exactly the same as Yukinoshita's.

"Generally speaking, no one would say that they are a beautiful girl, right?"

Of course, Yukinoshita cannot be classified as an ordinary person.

"What I said is the truth!" Ben Chugui raised her head proudly, like a swan deliberately showing off: "I am a beautiful girl."

I really want to refute her, but the fact is that it is true. If I really want to refute her, should I trick her into saying that the public's aesthetic taste has changed? Anyway, Ben Chugui already has many wrong perceptions about RB, so adding some more shouldn't be a big problem.

"By the way, Mr. Hikigaya, are there any nurse uniforms or something like that here? I heard that it's best to wear a nurse uniform when taking care of others in RB. Is it because this makes it more immersive in RB, which is known for its rigor? This does make it look very professional..." Motochuru looked around carefully, thinking seriously.

As expected, I still have to trick her into believing that the public's aesthetic standards have changed. Compared to the people who conveyed her such a wrong perception, I am really a kind angel. Fortunately, there is no such thing as a nurse's uniform in the health room. It is better to say that a normal college should not have such a thing.

"Benchugui, I don't know who told you this, but in RB, no, even in the whole world, you can only wear nurse uniforms in hospitals. If you wear them in other places, it will more or less add a lot of different fun."

"What kind of fun?"

This person is really naive sometimes. Even if there is a cliff in front of him, he will walk over it fearlessly.

"This is more or less what it means..." I waved my hand for Benchugui to come closer, and then whispered in her ear.

"It's actually like this!" Ben Chugui's face turned as red as the maple leaves outside the window. She took a few steps back in shock, and then looked at me in horror.

"In that case, you must have been fantasizing since I just came in, right? You must have been fantasizing about this and that over and over again in your mind, right? You perverted teacher!"

"Why did you come to this conclusion? Why do I have such delusions about you? I am just afraid that you will be deceived again, so I remind you. Why do I, a kind-hearted person, have to be accused like this?"

"The answer is invalid. Mr. Hikigaya, you must have fantasized about it, right!" Motochūgō covered her chest and stepped back vigilantly, her eyes full of alertness.

"Absolutely not. I have absolutely no interest in you."

"I don't believe it. There is no one in this world who is not interested in me as a beautiful girl."

"How should I answer you? First of all, you should quickly correct your ridiculously wrong idea. I only told you this to correct your cognition. If you want to be angry, you should be angry at the person who told you this!"

"Although what you said makes sense, I always feel that you, Mr. Hikigaya, are indeed the kind of sultry person who can do such things."

"Please don't give me so many weird labels. Why is this all I get for my kindness!" I should have not told her such a thing. I would have let her wear a nurse's uniform when visiting her classmates or other teachers, and made her embarrassed to death!

"Hmph." With a cold snort, Ben Chugui sat down next to my bed again, picked up the lunch box from the bedside again, picked up a dish with chopsticks and put it to my mouth.

"What are you doing suddenly?" I looked at Ben Chugui in surprise. Could it be that this person couldn't accept the impact of the facts just now, and as a result, his brain was damaged again?

"Just consider it as a reward. Didn't you just lament that good intentions don't get rewarded? Now it's a special service I'm giving you." Ben Chugui winked at me as she spoke, as playful as an elf in a fairy tale.

"I can't refuse this, right?"

"Of course." Motochu Kei smiled. "Before, I just showed it deliberately. Now I am super serious. Facing something made by a serious girl, you won't refuse it, right, Mr. Hikigaya?"

"Did you make the lunch box yourself?" I looked at Ben Chugui in confusion. A young lady like her shouldn't need to make her own lunch box.

"Of course. I checked RB's information before I came here. Don't ordinary students here make their own lunch boxes? Since I came to RB, of course I have to experience the life of making my own lunch boxes. And making lunch boxes by myself is surprisingly very interesting. It's just that when I first tried it, I often vomited because of the food I made..."

"Ben Chugui." I looked at Ben Chugui seriously, and my expression became very serious.

"Hey, what's wrong? Is it that you can't chew it, Mr. Hikigaya, and you want me to chew it first, and then spit it out to feed you?" Can you think a little more normally? Please don't jump around like that, okay? My condition hasn't reached that stage yet. Even if it does, I can drink glucose directly!

"I'm really curious about the structure of your brain. What I mean is, if you don't understand something in the future, try to look it up online, and never ask other people."

"This is just the experience of our predecessors..."

"You'll never go wrong if you listen to me."

Sooner or later, you, a fool, will be sold out by the guy who taught you this strange knowledge. And you even helped count the money!

"Although I don't quite understand it, I will try to go online to confirm it later."

Seeing that Ben Chugui agreed to me, I finally let go of my worry. I didn't want to be pushed to the edge of the cliff by Ben Chugui with some strange knowledge one day in the future.

"Well, Mr. Hikigaya..." Motoharu Kei held out his chopsticks again with a warm smile: "Ah!"

After a long silence, I finally opened my mouth.

"Yes, that's right!" Ben Chugui's smile became more and more sunny, but my face was full of embarrassment and shyness at the same time. I thought, it was definitely a very distorted face.

"Sure enough, my sister likes it..." Ben Chugui lowered her head and said something.

"what?"

"It's nothing. I said that the perverted teacher Hikigaya is definitely enjoying himself now." Raising her head, Motochūgui looked at me with deep malice.

"No, no!"

"Ah, there was a pause. It is so."

Why is this person so difficult!

"Excuse me, is Mr. Hikigaya here?"

There was a knock on the door outside the health room, and a timid voice came faintly.