Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

In this case, the question comes to the spiritual level.

The spiritual life of a normal human being is in a state where one hopes for a so-called change in his ordinary life, and the other returns to the original position on the journey of pursuit, that is, not making any changes expected. However, I don’t have similar thoughts. Changing the existing environment doesn’t matter to me, or my purpose from the bottom of my heart is to convince myself fundamentally and control it completely.

Stimulation needs, leisure and entertainment needs, information needs, knowledge needs, aesthetic needs, thinking needs...

If the aspect of my pursuit is within the spiritual realm, then under which category would this pursuit be classified?

I don't know. Even after I spent so much time exploring on my own, I still couldn't come to a correct conclusion. After conducting a detailed analysis of each area, I still couldn't find the meaning of its existence.

"Crash, lala, lala -"

"..."

Perhaps I may know that such and such facts are buried in my subconscious, but my consciousness is reluctant to face them.

Could it be fear?

A certain contradictory psychology grows rapidly under stimulation.

This is a precursor to "corruption", which is even unavoidable for me at the moment.

instinct.

Hormones and factors.

freed.

This is the structural basis of "Precursor", and I also know that I can only use my own consciousness to fight against both sides.

But the campaign was a folly from the outset.

0

"Crash, lala, lala -"

After applying a simple bathing suit all over my body, I quickly rinsed with cold water. Even so, the glass mirror in the bathroom was still covered with a thin layer of mist, and the reflected scene became blurred. This turbidity will continue for a long time after I leave.

In short, that is to say, for the next ten minutes or so, I couldn't use the mirror to see my real face.

Although it is not the 'real' in the conceptual sense...

I gently scratched my wet hair with a bath towel. Then, as before, I sat down on the sofa, turned on the TV in front of me, and switched the scene on the screen to the news channel.

"...It's the news again. Is this the only channel Luo Jun usually watches?"

After checking what was currently being broadcast on the channel, Ichinose couldn't help but reveal his inner confusion.

"Let's just leave it at that."

"........Is there any special reason?"

"No," I shook my head and paused. "If I have to say anything, it's just the result of following the flow. After turning on the TV for the first time, I was looking for channels with richer content, and then one after another I turned to the news channel and stopped..."

"I tried to find other channels afterwards, but I couldn't find a good one. As time went by, I found it too troublesome, so I just settled on this one..."

"...Have you never watched a TV series? Also, I've heard of 'Kamen Rider' and some anime that are very popular among boys, right?"

"Ah, I paid attention to those at first. But later on, if I wasn't careful, I would miss the broadcast time, and it would be quite troublesome to find the set, so I resolutely gave up."

"It sounds like it really fits what Luo Jun said..."

"I'm really sorry that you looked down upon me like that... Is there any channel Ichinose would like to watch? I can tune in anytime."

"No, I just mentioned it casually... Actually, I don't watch TV that often. Besides, if I really need it, I can watch it on my phone."

"But Ichinose's phone is out of battery right now, right?"

"That's not the point. The point is that I don't have the habit of watching TV very often."

"oh, I understand now."

I nodded to confirm Ichinose's answer, in order to reassure him. However, this action seemed to have the opposite effect, causing Ichinose to sigh helplessly.

"That's why I feel uneasy about Luo."

"What? This is such a straightforward statement. Is there a hidden level entry?"

"That's not what I meant. Anyway...I can't seem to explain it clearly..."

"...That's really baffling."

I can't continue the topic any further. If I can maintain the current state until the locksmith finishes his task tomorrow morning, it may be a good direction for the future. There is still a long time before the hair is dry, so let's just spend it in this dull way.

I stretched myself for a while and then spent the rest of the time listening to the news broadcast on TV.

However, it was at this time that Ichinose made a request to me.

"...Can I sit closer to Luo?"

"Of course, it's okay. Besides, it's Ichinose's freedom... But can I ask why you do this?"

"Actually, I want to find a place to lean on. Although I haven't been active all day, my body seems to feel unexpectedly tired..."

"That's it..."

This means that I will be treated as the backrest of the chair from now on. Although I am somewhat resistant to this setting, it is just my one-sided imagination.

"May I?"

"Didn't I just agree to it? If Ichinose wants to relax a little, please feel free to do so. I'm honored to be able to help."

"Then I will take action."

"Please."

I raised my right hand from my yukata pocket and placed it across the back of the sofa so that she could lean against me. Ichinose didn't hesitate at all and moved straight to a position where I could hold her in my arms.

For men, it is a shame to be so unintimidating.

"...Are you feeling mentally exhausted right now?"

"Hmm... maybe I spent too much time looking at my phone today, or maybe it's because I just took a shower. Anyway, I just felt like I was drowsy..."

"Then it's quite remarkable that you've managed to hold on until now... But time is running out, and Ichinose's hair is almost dry."

"Well, please let me have a look at your body for a while. I will try my best to make sure I can hold on until then."

"If you just lean your body against something, even on my side, it shouldn't make you sleepy."

"Well, no...I feel safe when I lean on Luo's body, so it's possible that I can fall asleep comfortably like this."

"...I feel a very reassuring feeling coming from me. This is the first time I've heard of this."

"Well, this is the first time I've felt this kind of peace of mind from someone else...it could also be due to the care I received these times."

"You've started talking nonsense, haven't you? Ichinose has been taking care of me these past few days? For example, bringing me food and stuff."

"It's because of the trouble I've been through these past few days that I said I was being taken care of by Luo these days and he didn't kick me out or anything like that."

"Bringing food here is a good thing no matter how you look at it..."

"Well, let's just take it as it is... But in this case, the affected area may also be affected by Luo Jun's scent."

"..."

After saying this, Ichinose sniffed, as if taking in all the surrounding odors at once. Then, as if losing all his strength, he collapsed on my shoulder.

"It seems that the smell on Luo Jun's body is not coming from the shower gel. It turns out that he has this kind of plant scent in himself."

"I'm not sure about this matter. Anyway, the body wash I use is the same inside and outside the school, and I didn't notice this matter... Maybe Ichinose is like me, and he can't smell the smell on his body even if he smells it carefully."

"Hmm, that's a possibility... But wouldn't it be possible to say that different body washes are used inside and outside the school?"

"..."

Different types of body wash are used inside and outside the school...

Doesn't this statement further expose that the smell of grass and trees on my body comes from myself? I have already started talking nonsense.

"...Ichinose, are you sure you are in good spirits? If necessary, it would be best to go to the bathroom and wash your face."

"Well, but I feel really tired... I don't want to wake up the next moment..."

As she spoke, Ichinose rubbed the clothes on my upper body with her soft cheek, as if she was preparing a good pillow for her sleep.

"Hold on a little longer, your hair will be dry soon. If I fall asleep now, it will be very difficult for me. I can't just sleep like this all night."

"If I fall asleep, just wake me up when the time comes... I won't say anything..."

"Ichinose, don't you think it's very difficult to wake you up?"

"Hmm...Swoosh..."

I waited for a while but got no response from Ichinose. When I looked down to check on her, she was already sleeping peacefully. I bent my right arm back and used my fingertips to gently poke Ichinose's chubby cheeks a few times, hoping to make her more conscious at this time. But the result seemed to be quite a failure.

In addition, it was difficult to confirm whether Ichinose was asleep or half awake based on the mumbling that continued from her mouth.

In a steady breathing state, I don’t have too many detection methods.

But one thing is certain. If I don't take any action at this time, it will be a big disadvantage in every aspect. However, if Ichinose is in a semi-awake state, if the action is too sudden and wakes him up, he will definitely be upset the moment he wakes up.

If it's serious, he might even cut off all ties with me...

Well, in that case, let's take a sneak photo as a souvenir.

I opened the camera function of my phone with one hand and took a separate picture of Ichinose's sleeping face.

At this moment, Ichinose's face no longer had the natural smile that she had during the day. Her whole face looked slack, and she still had the aftertaste of sleepiness that was hard to resist.

Its current appearance is very similar to a sleeping rabbit.

After looking at this photo for a long time, I quietly put my phone aside. Although Ichinose fell asleep to the news broadcast on TV, the sound of the outside world would have a counter-effect when he fell asleep.

Thinking of this, I muted the TV and just stared at the screen, waiting for time to pass.

Ten minutes passed, and during this time, Ichinose only made cute breathing sounds, and did not even make any movements to adjust herself. I guess she fell into a deep sleep.

I touched Ichinose's long pink hair that flowed like a river, and after confirming that it was dry, I gently patted Ichinose's cheek with my fingertips to help wake her up.

"You can go to bed now, Ichinose."

"Um......"

"So you're not getting up yet?"

"Well......"

"If this continues, I will have to take coercive measures."

"Um......"

Just like this, no matter how I persuaded her or how I played with her cheeks, Ichinose didn't wake up. Although I have experienced similar situations many times, I still find it difficult to deal with them again. It's like cutting onions over and over again without any defense, and you will cry anyway.

"..."

A person who sleeps defenselessly with a sweet and soft female body next to a boy who has no relatives or friends with her is extremely bad from the beginning.

I immediately pressed the off button on the TV remote control, then put my left hand under Ichinose's knees, and at the same time, I gently used my right arm to lift Ichinose up. I was inexplicably skilled in handling this process.

When I realized this, I also sighed for several experiences in the past.

Ichinose's body is very light, and the skin that touches seems to be made of water, and it seems as if there are no bones in her body.

In order to avoid the accident that happened in the Rabbit Group meeting room last time, I was able to control my body movements well this time, and observe the changes in Ichinose's body movements. The last time I delivered to the sofa seat, it was half a meeting room away, so the destination was naturally far away, but this time the white bed was just two steps away from me, so maybe I could deliver it to the destination safely and quickly.

In fact, the actual experience was just as I expected. After standing by the bed and observing for a while, Ichinose did not encounter any risky events.

So I slowly put Ichinose on the bed, and just when I was about to succeed and my arms were about to relax, the accident finally happened.

At the moment when we were about to get close, Ichinose, who had been motionless, suddenly stretched out his hands and grabbed my neck again, and tried to pull me down.

I had anticipated this, so I sent Ichinose's body out, but I didn't expect that I was still a little late in my movements, considering that Ichinose was still asleep, so I was still caught by Ichinose. I had no choice but to bend my legs to resist the shift in my center of gravity, and let Ichinose play with me.

But even so, I laid Ichinose flat on the mattress safely, and all that was left was to figure out how to free myself from Ichinose's arms.

When I just thought about the next move, Ichinose got closer and closer to me. I subconsciously tried to turn my head away, but the range of movement of my neck was completely locked by Ichinose's arms. In short, there was nowhere to escape.

As I was starting to feel hesitant, my lips completely overlapped with Ichinose's. The softness of her lips instantly overwhelmed my mind.

The first time I touched the lips of the opposite sex, they were unexpectedly soft.

At this moment, I want to see clearly what kind of expression and emotion are displayed on all my faces. This incident was completely beyond my expectation. Last time, it was my cheek, which might be okay, but the feeling this time is completely incomparable. I can't even describe the feeling of the state in words. If Ichinose opens his eyes at this time, then I think I will probably know the truth a little bit later.

I supported myself on the mattress with both hands, trying to break away from this feeling, but I was afraid that Ichinose would wake up, so I moved very cautiously, and the strength I used was not enough to resist Ichinose's arms.

I tilted my head as far as I could, but all I got was a loving rub of my lips.

I felt myself being surrounded by warmth and tenderness, and all my strength lost its power at this moment. In a rare moment of shock in my heart, I somehow stuck out my tongue. Ichinose trembled slightly at my reaction, but there was no sign of waking up.