Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

That pain, this level of importance, just losing this act is enough to kill me.

seem……

You can only treat yourself as a pet, a plaything, use all your strength, and show everything about yourself to that person.

Stay regardless of everything, show everything you have regardless of everything, just like a vendor showing everything you have for people to choose.

It doesn't matter if you are as humble as a dog or as cheap as a stone on the roadside...

No matter how insignificant it is, it is better than being abandoned directly.

what……

Really.

I clearly wanted to escape from this.

I still can't help but think of places related to her.

It was revisited again.

It is still much clearer than a simple perspective, and it can look at everything they have experienced from Weiwei's perspective, with delicate psychological description.

The coming of tragedy, something that can be given such a name by the simulator, is indeed a tragedy shared by everyone from the very beginning.

If Alicia saw all this, she would probably feel worse than me.

Different from sadness, it will be the fear that the beauty is about to be broken.

……

[The weak wind blew up the corners of my clothes, and even the flowers withered. There was only the wind in the desolate ruins where no bird could fly through - this natural product, which also symbolizes freedom, could show a bit of its own style.]

[Although the wind nowadays can no longer be associated with anything beautiful and carries violent Houkai energy, it itself is an accomplice of natural disasters. 】

[This disaster and erosion are nothing to you. The Herrscher, who is the greatest manifestation of disaster, is not afraid of any degree of collapse energy.]

[You just quietly bathe in the wind, feeling the ends of your hair being blown up, as if you were flying to the sky. You sit peacefully on the ruins amidst the erosion of the strong Honkai energy, using your own strength to protect the book in your hands.]

[Page after page was turned, starting from the night when the girl met Alicia, until this moment.]

[The story has entered its climax, and the couple successfully embraced each other after overcoming all obstacles. ]

……

Today is another day spent with Jiang Cheng.

Even though I have put myself in his shoes, this gentle and intimate interaction still makes me feel fake, as if I am dreaming.

In any case, people like me really don't deserve this warmth.

Even though you have already obtained it, you are still hesitant and worried about gains and losses.

Even Jiang Cheng's feelings are hurt by me.

Continuous self-consumption and hesitation will not only hurt yourself, but also make all friends around you who are willing to help become trash cans for garbage, and everyone around you will be hurt.

There are so many people in the world, there must be someone more suitable than me and Alicia, and there must be someone more worthy of Jiang Cheng's emotional investment.

Can this behavior of moving forward even though one knows that one is not allowed to do so be understood as a shameless attempt to deprive the other party of the possibility?

Even if it succeeds, maybe it's just like giving him a bowl of love potion, carefully brewed to make the boy forget his own excellence and my lowliness.

What's the problem with that?

This is not a result that can be easily concluded.

The essence of love is actually deprivation, which is to destroy Jiang Cheng's possibility of finding a better and more suitable one.

The essence of falling in love is a kind of drug. The feeling is no different from being fed a bowl of drug.

How many people never have the chance to even taste the flavor of this drug in their lifetime, and can only use clear rational judgment to find someone who meets the standards in all aspects, and do the saddest thing in the world, living with others.

Maybe ordinary people can accept such behavior and can suppress themselves, but people like me are useless and can't even compare to ordinary people.

what……

I can no longer imagine that ending.

I will definitely die.

It is not a cover-up of self-deception, nor is it being too disgusting so as to turn oneself into another person. It is death in the true sense.

And even if he chooses to give up, can you really guarantee that the person Jiang Cheng will meet next is the one who is right for him, the one who will be destined to be with him?

She will still be like Alicia, only perfect on the surface, but still ignorant and indifferent deep down in her heart, and will only continue to hurt Jiang Cheng with her coldness.

This kind of restraint, this kind of thinking of not trying to explore because you know you are not capable of it, can often be called cowardice.

It has come to this point. We have already witnessed a beautiful scene that seemed suitable for being exposed. What is there to hesitate about?

The best option is to carefully guard this lie and protect him.

At least……

I can try to do my best.

……

……

Although all this is just self-consolation, in the final analysis, no matter how much I think about it, it is impossible for me to leave him again, and it is impossible for me to send him a message not to contact me again like I did before.

After all, I am just a loser and a waste like me. Even after being exposed to the sun, I will still be terrified and have the idea of ​​doing things randomly.

But no matter what, in the end, it only points to one thing. The influence of thoughts on the heart can no longer override the level of reality, and can no longer drive the body to do things that are inconsistent with the heart.

It is no longer possible to accept the loss of Jiangcheng.

It is no longer possible to dive into the cold ocean again after boarding the safe ship and drifting on that tattered piece of wood.

Even if it's selfish.

Even greed.

Even if it’s deprivation.

Even if this behavior is absolutely evil in nature, this thing called love is a drug that you cannot spit out once you drink it.

This is the only thing that cannot be figured out no matter how hard you study.

It is a forbidden area that can never be explored.

On a scientific level, this is not a difficult thing to analyze. There is an organ called thalamus in the human brain that has important functions.

When humans see another individual, dopamine is released in that part of the body, and they feel pleasure, happiness, and excitement. In the traditional universal sense, this is the wonderful emotion called love.

If you see a person who is unable to secrete these substances, you will not be able to feel joy, happiness, and all the positive emotions just by looking at them.

So no matter how you force yourself, no matter how you force yourself, even with drugs, it is impossible to truly fall in love, the love of the soul.

But until now the world has not been able to explain why that person would release this substance, and why others cannot?

Perhaps if we continue to explore and spend time to discover all the mysteries of the human body, even the existence of love can be analyzed and understood.

Things like this...let's just forget it.

Not everything in the world needs to be explored.

No matter how much you know, you cannot fight against your own heart. When facing loneliness, you cannot fill the emptiness and loneliness at that moment.

The less you know, the more at ease you will be. Instead of exploring the source of love, it is better to think about what to make for lunch for Jiang Cheng today.

……

……

[Successful. 】

[Unlike what you imagined, where the passion and awareness were ruthlessly crushed by the cruel reality, leading to the end of depravity and collapse, the girl succeeded.]

[It's really like what is written in a fairy tale, or more like a light novel in the Far East. Two people who are ignored, inferior and lonely meet each other and become the only one in the world in their eyes. 】

【Perfect. 】

【A perfect ending. 】

[An ending that is impossible to happen based on everything you remember. ]

[If you had embarked on a new journey with that girl at that time, why do you have such a deep connection with Alicia now? ]

[If it weren't for the long contact during the journey that made Alicia realize the importance of your existence, you wouldn't think that what was recorded in the notebook was enough to constitute everything Alicia loves you now, this heavy, oppressive love that is enough to drain you dry.]

[You can feel the feelings of the girl who wrote the diary towards you from the words, and you absolutely believe that Ai Lishiya's love will not be lost too much. ]

[One is the only light, the only smile in the gray world, and the other is the indispensable paradise and childhood sweetheart. ]

[You are not qualified, nor are you worthy, to judge which of these two feelings is heavier, or whether these two loves have reached the limit of life. ]

[In a sense, this is also the reason why you still cannot feel any resentment towards Alicia after reading the notes, even if it is just dissatisfaction.]

[The notes in the book may awaken some fragments of your memory, but these scattered pasts cannot compare with the clear and continuous present.]

[Those times are discontinuous. Perhaps the existence of filters can enhance them a little. There is also an upper limit to the amount of emotion that people can absorb.]

[Just as sweetness makes people happy, it is even an important national reserve resource during wartime. Many people like to eat sugar, but if you eat too much sugar at once, the sweetness will be infinitely superimposed and increased in value, and eventually it will become bitter or even smelly.]

……

What did you borrow? .jpg

PS: The previous one was rejected many times and has been frozen. Now it is the revised 118.

Chapter of Stars and Moon: 119. Weiwei's highest secret is to prostrate yourself

[In the memory, the indifference of Alicia and the actions of the girl on you yesterday, the shock given by being closer will be greater after all. ]

[So if it takes longer to build this love, why did you write in your notes that you embarked on a new journey? 】

【——It’s definitely not a lie.】

【——It is definitely not false.】

[——All of this is definitely not self-deception. ]

[It’s not that the girl couldn’t accept being rejected, couldn’t accept the cruelty of reality, so she simply shut herself off to the extreme and started fantasizing. ]

[It’s not that this tragedy is so tragic that just looking at it makes people feel depressed and heartbroken, or even want to rush into their notebooks to rewrite the tragic ending.]

[Even if you ignore the notes about your living habits, the records are so thorough that even the number of times you brush your teeth will be written down.]

[Your every move is filtered, captured inadvertently by eyes full of tenderness and gentleness, and written in your diary. ]

[It is just the instinct of the body. In your left chest, the existence called heart is telling you that all this is not false. ]

[After a brief moment of confusion and surprise in your dark eyes, the emotion that followed was actually frank acceptance and affirmation.]

[It seems that the development of all this does not surprise you, nor does it make your soul feel incomprehensible. Instead, it seems to be as normal as going with the flow.]

【perhaps……】

Your past is more turbulent than you think.

[At least before you understand everything, don't make any doubts or guesses without authorization. ]

[The reversals and changes you experienced today, the stimulation to your soul, are enough to make anyone dumbfounded and even unable to accept the truth, even far surpassing the two years since your resurrection combined.]

【Perhaps you have never had such an excitement in your life as today. After clearing away the clouds and mist, you find that a clear sky may not be truly bright.】

[Above this fog that seems to block your view, there are countless more truths hidden that you may not be able to find even if you carefully explore. ]

[The wind and sand have stopped at this moment, it is not natural, the endless collapse energy swept by this ruin will continue to operate endlessly like the ebb and flow of the tide, perhaps it will not stop until the day when the world is destroyed. ]

[Just because you don't want to let your ears have more messy things, even if there is only a slight possibility that it will disturb you. ]

[The natural disaster that had been roaring and rushing here for who knows how many years, preventing even the world's snakes from setting foot here, just disappeared so easily.]

[Isn't the life of a Herrscher so capricious? ]

[Just like how humans willfully transform the world. ]

[You gently turn the next page of your diary. Before you know it, your pursuit of the beauty recorded in it seems to have surpassed your search for the truth. Or perhaps the pursuit of beauty is actually the search for the truth.]

[The story progresses day by day, with farces of all sizes. What is recorded in the diary seems to be a perfect fairy tale, thousands of times sweeter than the sweetest candy in the world. Just tasting it lightly with the tip of your tongue makes you feel like you have fallen into a beautiful paradise.]