Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Long, smooth green hair, a face that is still beautiful and charming despite the dark circles under the eyes and long hours of staying up late, and a figure that even a white coat cannot suppress.

No matter how you look at her, she is an extremely beautiful person. The arrogance that comes from within is something that a loser like me cannot possibly achieve.

If I were a mouse, Dr. Mobius would be a poisonous snake hiding in the forest, ready to deliver a fatal blow at any time.

Compared to the rustic little mouse, the fluorescent green venomous snake looks more proud, noble and eye-catching no matter how you look at it.

Although I know that someone like Jiang Cheng will never be fickle and like someone else, I still haven't really confessed my feelings to him until now!!!

The most intimate and heartfelt words he had ever said were the invitation he made at the birthday party, requesting to go with Jiang Cheng on behalf of Alicia.

I don't deserve to be asked about being indecisive. I don't even have the qualifications to claim sovereignty. I'm not even your childhood sweetheart.

The so-called spiral workshop cohabitation is essentially just living in two rooms, and the most intimate contact is limited to touching the head and my personal taxi seat.

Ah ah ah ah ah!

I’m dying, I’m dying, I’m dying!

Is it too late to attack Jiangcheng now?

No, absolutely, absolutely not. This kind of despicable thing is absolutely not allowed.

The essence of this behavior is nothing more than forcibly taking advantage of Jiang Cheng's sense of responsibility, which is still a dirty coercion that only a bad person would use.

Only truly good people, only kind-hearted people will be threatened in this way.

The world is really terrible.

Why do good people always get bullied?

There's no way a rubbish guy like me would be liked by anyone. Even if I run to Jiang Cheng's bed, I'll definitely be kicked... and put down gently.

Apart from being whiter, having a prettier face, bigger breasts, perkier buttocks, a thinner waist and fuller legs, I don't have any strong features at all.

In the end, my behavior not only did not change anything, but it allowed Jiang Cheng to get to know more people.

Stealing chickens will not lose rice.

As expected, a loser like me can't do anything.

How about trying to invent a time machine that can turn back time and go back to the past, but that would definitely waste a lot of time.

I should find a way to buy a doghouse in Jiang Cheng’s room to live in. Compared to things that cannot be rewritten, this is the most important thing right now.

Unfortunately, neither the collar nor the special silver rings were used. Jiang Cheng denied any harm to my body anyway.

……

today……

what……

It was a very special birthday party.

It really is worthy of being called Jiangcheng.

He knew from the beginning that those people could cause trouble to me and him only because I was nurturing a tiger and I didn't want to discipline and restrict them.

Because I am extremely ugly, just like the black water that has been fermenting in a garbage can for decades, bubbling with foul odors.

He just kept it a secret because he knew I would have a breakdown if he told me the truth, so he saved it for my birthday.

Even the birthday party was not held in a normal way. Only a room for two people was prepared, and the truth was revealed at the moment the gifts were presented.

Jiang Cheng has tried very hard to take care of me, a piece of trash. I am a complete loser who will even break down when my mistakes are pointed out.

Even so, the moment I heard the truth, I collapsed, and even... I even wanted to escape, to escape from him, to escape from it all, to give up everything that was actually impossible for me to give up.

Don't want to face it.

Don't dare to face it.

Can't face it.

This is basically a matter of escape, and for a mouse like me, there is only one option to choose from the very beginning.

To voluntarily leave the dazzling warmth of the sun and leave the big ship that protects you in the wind and waves is a pain that is enough to completely tear and twist the soul.

Although this pain is nothing compared to the slight disappointment and sigh that might appear on Jiang Cheng's face.

But if I really turned the handle, if I really ran out of the room like that, the cold night wind would force me to calm down, and I would start to reflect on everything I had done. I would definitely choose to commit suicide out of regret.

Jiang Cheng has obviously tried very hard.

It's obviously me who is useless, stupid and trash.

It was clearly my own fault, but it was ridiculous for me to run away just because I didn't want to face the consequences after being pointed out.

Even if I am the person who has best understood the word "clown", or the best actor, I cannot compare to my performance at this moment.

Jiang Cheng did so much to take care of me, a person who could use the clown in playing cards as an ID card from the very beginning and had no dignity at all, but in the end, it was all in vain and he still couldn't save a waste like me.

Although dignity is something that does not exist for me, if I escape first, I will never be able to go back.

People living on a warm big ship are not able to face the wind and waves.

If I leave Jiangcheng, I will definitely not be able to survive.

Even so, there's no way I'm going back.

It's not that I'm ashamed of my behavior, and it's not that I don't want to go back because of face and dignity. It's just that I'm completely unqualified to go back, and completely unqualified to face Jiang Cheng's eyes again.

I dare not even imagine the look in those brown pupils, even though it may very well contain concern and forgiveness.

I did something wrong and chose to blame others, and I don’t even dare to face my own mistakes...

——From the beginning, I had no right to stay by his side.

When you are impulsive, you will choose to escape because you cannot accept it. After you calm down, you will only feel more disgusted and hate your own behavior.

I not only hate my own behavior, but also my own choices. I also hate everything I did when I was hot-headed and the escape I did.

After self-analysis, the final conclusion I came to was that there would be only one thing that would never change. I could fully imagine what I would do if I lost everything and was extremely depressed at that moment.

I don't deserve to stay by Jiang Cheng's side.

I am not worthy to interfere with his journey.

I am not worthy to taint His glory with my own filth.

A completely dirty, stupid and incompetent trash like me should not appear in his life and should be kicked out from the beginning.

Rats like me should be out there dying where no one knows.

This is how it should end.

Jiang Cheng he...

Still chose to forgive.

The moment I turned around and grabbed the door handle, the boy grabbed me and calmly handed me the cake he had made himself.

The ingredients are quite simple, but it is sweeter than any other food in the world. It seems that even the soul feels fulfilled and satisfied with this birthday cake.

Although the cake seemed bland compared to what I heard next.

"Vilvi..."

"Happy birthday to you."

"I'm sorry, this cake may not look that good, or taste that good, because I really don't have any talent, this is the best I've done."

The voice that tried to make its words sound more relaxed and playful could not be fully described even with the word forgiveness.

Forgiveness only comes after anger. From the beginning, the boy never had any anger or hatred towards me because of my stupid behavior.

"I won't blame you for this. I chose your birthday because I feel it's more appropriate to say this on your birthday."

"The first time I met you, that dreamy uphill section was on the way to the birthday party~"

The uphill section that day is something I still remember vividly. It was like a dream, a plot that only exists in novels.

An incompetent loser meets an outstanding and perfect boy. Even a plot that highlights the most contrasts cannot design such a gap, right?

This kind of thing should be a daily occurrence for an outstanding person like Jiang Cheng, and there is nothing special about it.

But he kept all of this in mind, and even used it to comfort me when I wanted to escape, even though I was the one who made the mistake from the beginning.

What kind of joke is this?

The victim comforted the perpetrator.

But Jiang Cheng was really comforting her, not just comforting her, but also with promises and the determination in his pupils that sparkled like the sun.

"I promise you, I give you my most sincere promise with everything I have."

"I will spend the rest of my life with you, and we will never be apart. No matter what happens, no matter what you encounter, I will always be by your side."

"You don't have to worry anymore. This relationship is definitely not a bubble under the sun. It will only be the eternal and shining star in the night sky."

what……

what……

what……

In fact, there is nothing to write now. With my poor talent, I simply cannot describe my mood at that moment.

Even if I wanted to keep it as a diary, I would never be able to write down the boy's spirit, sparkling eyes and raised lips at that moment.

Even the saints in the Bible were no more than this.

I really felt that this despicable, dirty, rat-like heart that lurks in the shadows was cut open from the deepest part and cleansed with the holy light.

At this time, even if I repeat in my heart that I am not worthy and I am garbage, I am afraid it will only hurt Jiang Cheng's good intentions and hurt his heart.

I wanted to tear myself apart and crush myself into pieces, and I could feel my chest beating violently. Some inexplicable feeling seemed to rush out, and something that could not be described in words was piled up in the middle and was about to overflow.

dying.

Really dying.

I am about to drown in this tenderness.

In a sense, it is like the loneliness of being alone, still holding a piece of wood, drifting in the endless ocean, being washed by the sea water, which occasionally rushes into the lungs, almost suffocating me.

Actually, that’s how it feels nowadays.

The lonely past is completely incomparable to it.

Unlike the freezing cold ocean, it feels like falling into an endlessly warm hot spring, and the body is wrapped in the spring water that seems to have its own senses, without any part of the body being left out or relaxed.

……

Chapter of Stars and Moon: 123. Will I die early? [Free]

It was like a suppressed fire that gathered all the heat in the body in the chest. After all the coldness had been dispelled, there was still excessive heat left. I felt an inexplicable urge to tear myself apart. It seemed that only this most extreme way could relieve this emotion.

I seem to...

I can totally understand those people shaking.

If their partners are somewhat similar to Jiang Cheng, then it is normal for them to desire to be hurt and to be subjected to violence.

It's not that I really want pain, it's just that my emotions can no longer be vented through any unnecessary actions, and my body feels sore as if it has exploded.

The extreme sense of guilt, irrigated by the unhesitating love like a god, can only give rise to the ending called suzerainty.

At the end of the day, people always need to find a space to vent their emotions. If they keep piling up, sooner or later they will explode.

Those with less severe guilt may choose to pray or pay for their sins, but if the guilt is very deep, they may resort to more physical methods.

Because in this situation, simply making up for the mistakes you have made is not enough to cover up the guilt in your heart about this matter.

Although driven by this emotion, I even forgot that I was the one who made the mistake and should be questioned, and I even shamelessly asked for more.

Although she had obviously been forgiven and tolerated by the boy, she still raised her head, bit her lips lightly and looked at the boy's slightly raised lips and sparkling eyes.

As a mouse who doesn't even dare to face the mistakes he made and wants to escape and be forgiven by others, he confesses to the perfect boy.

She longed for everything in Jiangcheng, longed for everything in Jiangcheng, and longed to continue to greedily and arrogantly occupy all the boy's time in the future.

He still agreed.